Monday, November 5, 2007        Edition: #3648
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Film & TV writers are hoping their first strike in 2 decades will break a high-stakes stalemate with the world’s largest media companies over profits from DVDs and programming on the Internet. Writers Guild of America board members voted unanimously to begin the strike at 12:01 am PST THIS MORNING unless studios offered a more lucrative deal. (Looks like Jay Leno will be telling his own jokes TONIGHT.)
– MSNBC
• LAPD has confirmed that it’s investigating a claim that Britney Spears ran over the foot of a Los Angeles County Sheriff deputy while fleeing the courthouse following LAST WEEK’s custody hearing. (Court documents have just revealed her monthly income is $737,000 … so why is it she refuses to get a driver and avoid all this stupidity?)
– “E! News“
• Rich twin Ashley Olsen has recently been spotted flirting with former cycling champ Lance Armstrong. The cozy couple has been spotted at the Gramercy Park Hotel bar in NYC, where Ashley reportedly sat on Lance’s lap and kissed him. (Otherwise she wouldn’t be able to reach.)
– “Cosmo Daily”
• Louis Walsh, a judge on the Brit TV singing competition “X Factor“, claims producer/co-judge Simon Cowell has had extensive work on his teeth – which resemble ‘piano keys’ – plus a boob job to give him the ‘pecs factor’. (Eww, TMI … too much information.)
– “News of the World”
• “All My Children” star Justin Bruening has been cast as ‘Michael Knight’ in NBC-TV’s upcoming pilot for a “Knight Rider” remake. He follows in the footsteps of David Hasselhoff, who was also a soap star when he was cast in the ’80s series. (The big question … why? It wasn’t that big a hit the first time around.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• “Pirates of the Caribbean” actor Orlando Bloom, who split with gf Kate Bosworth LAST YEAR, has reportedly found new love with stunning Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr. One of his pals says Orly’s ‘totally goo goo’ over the Aussie beauty. (An interesting way of phrasing it.)
– Rav Show Biz
• Christina Aguilera has finally confirmed reports she’s expecting a baby with husband Jordan Bratman. She previously refused to comment on the status of her bulging belly, despite her father Fausto Aguilera and her pal Paris Hilton letting slip about the 26-year-old’s happy news earlier THIS YEAR. (No expectant mom wants to talk about it till the 2nd trimester, right?)
– StarPulse News Blog
• And a Wright City, Missouri museum that exhibits items supporting conspiracy theories that Elvis Presley is alive is set to close. Bill Beeny, proprietor of the “Elvis is Alive Museum”, is auctioning off the artifacts he’s collected over the past 17 years. The 81-year-old Baptist minister says he’s turning his attention to charity work but hopes someone else will keep the dream alive that ‘The King’ never died. (Like Lisa Marie’s not doing enough?)
NET: http://www.theelvisisalivemuseum.com/
– ContactMusic.com

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Fall Out Boy – They say they’re abandoning their ‘rock roots’ (huh?) to record a new album of pop songs. Frontman Patrick Stump says they’ve already got an album’s-worth of material.
• Korn – Frontman Jonathan Davis will have a CD/DVD available for purchase at his upcoming solo concerts that won’t be retailed in stores.
• Led Zeppelin – Their NOVEMBER 26th reunion concert in London has been pushed back to DECEMBER 10th because guitarist Jimmy Page has fractured a finger. There’s no word on how the injury occurred but it will make him unable to play guitar for 3 weeks.
• Linkin Park – The band has contributed $50,000 to Direct Relief International, a non-profit organization based in Santa Barbara that’s been providing medical supplies to victims of the California wildfires.
• Meat Loaf – There’s speculation the 60-year-old is finally planning to retire from music after he left the stage after an hour in Newcastle UK, telling fans it was his final performance.
• Ozzy Osbourne – He’s ticked that a Fargo ND sheriff sent an invitation to over 500 deadbeat dads & custody dodgers in an elaborate sting operation enticing them to a nightclub party purportedly organized by Ozzy & Rob Zombie. The 30 gullible guys who showed were arrested.
• Paul McCartney – Word has it he’s now applying for full custody of 4-year-old daughter Beatrice after estranged wife Heather’s astonishing rant about death threats, suicide, and financial demands on Brit TV LAST WEEK.
• Rihanna – Accusations are flying that her “Shut Up & Drive” is a rip-off of New Order’s “Blue Monday”. It’s certainly odd that it’s the lone track on her “Good Girl Gone Bad” album with no credits listed.
• Santana – Deborah Santana, legendary guitarist Carlos Santana’s wife of 34 years, has filed for divorce, citing the always vague ‘irreconcilable differences’. However in her 2005 memoir, “Space Between the Stars”, she described her husband as being ‘unfaithful’.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Abigail Breslin – The 11-year-old “Little Miss Sunshine” actress has been named “Glamour” magazine’s first-ever ‘Girl Of The Year’ and will be honored at a gala at NYC’s Lincoln Center.
• Carrie Underwood – She guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (ABC/CityTV).
• Brooks & Dunn – The country duo does “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Garth Brooks – He performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• “Music City Walk of Fame Induction” – New markers unveiled in Hall of Fame Park in downtown Nashville will include Barbara Mandrell, Rodney Crowell, Vince Gill, and – huh? – Jimi Hendrix. Yep, seems Hendrix moved to Nashville in 1962 after being discharged from the US Army at nearby Fort Campbell KY. He performed in local clubs before moving on to NYC.

BEST USA CITIES FOR GETTING YOUR PARTY ON:
5. Las Vegas
4. New York
3. Atlanta
2. Los Angeles
1. Miami
– “Maxim”

CARNIVORES ARE CREEPY:
Men who eat meat smell different from those who do not and it’s not very appealing to the opposite gender, according to anthropology researchers at Charles University in the Czech Republic. Female volunteers who sniffed the body odor of men who eat red meat and compared it to that of non-meat-eaters, have decided that meat-less men smell more pleasant, more attractive, and less intense. But the underarm odor of meat munchers is judged to be stronger and more intense. (Could this be the world’s worst job – pit sniffer?)
– “The Independent”

ALL-TIME SEXIEST?
Actress Angelina Jolie and “Prison Break” star Wentworth Miller have topped a new online ‘Ultimate Hotties’ poll, chosen from a list of 200 fellow celebs. Jolie garnered 20% of the vote; Miller 13%. 1960-70s screen siren Raquel Welch was the female runner-up, while “Batman Begins” & ”3:10 to Yuma” actor Christian Bale came in 2nd in the male ranking. Among the other icons past & present who were listed: Marilyn Monroe , Sophia Loren, Dorothy Dandridge, Paul Newman, Cary Grant, and Will Smith. (No Brigitte Bardot? No Drew Carey?)
– “Entertainment Weekly“

RETRO RECORDINGS:
Hard to believe in this age of iPods and digital downloads, but vinyl records are poised to re-enter the mainstream as they continue to appeal as the favorite physical format of indie music collectors and audiophiles. Records, vinyl enthusiasts will tell you, provide a ‘richer’ sound and more of a connection between fans and artists. That’s why pressing plants are ramping up production to crank out even more analogue LPs for home listening. (Is it the sound … or those big glossy covers?)
– “Wired”

BS ANIMAL TALES:
• Dozens of live lobsters have escaped from a supermarket in Stuttgart, Germany over the weekend. Passers-by spotted them heading down the street at 1.45 am. They’re now said to be living happily ever after in a local animal shelter. (Seems nobody took advantage of the live smorgasbord.)
• A Romanian man has been fined about $150 because his Neapolitan Mastiff dog snores. After numerous complaints from neighbors, an official investigation has revealed that ‘Sumo’s snores indeed exceed local sound pollution levels. (Are you gonna tell a Neapolitan Mastiff to be quiet?)
• A former ambulance driver in Belgium has saved a close friend by performing CPR on his fish. It took 15 minutes to resuscitate the pet koi fish using mouth-to-mouth. (Talk about tuna breath!)

FLESH-FRYING IS FLY:
Forget tattoos & piercings, the latest trend for body decorating enthusiasts is having their skin branded in the style of a Texas steer. Red-hot metal brands or ‘cauterizing pens’, which burn at more than 1,000 degrees C (1,832 F) , are used to sear a design permanently into the flesh. The procedure is painful and can be dangerous because of the risk of nerve damage and infection. Many of those who’ve had the process have posted their experience online. (For more info, Google ‘Worst Barbecue Recipes’.)
– “Times of London”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Catwalk stars Kate Moss & Naomi Campbell may need tax write-offs but the average model made a median hourly wage of just $11.22 in the past year.
– MarketWatch.com
• According to a national retail study, there’s a 1-in-20 chance a store’s checkout scanner will ring up the wrong price. But don’t fret! The mistake will be in your favor more than half the time.
– UPI
• The city of Voronezh, in southwestern Russia, has unveiled a monument to a pig. The region is famous for its sausages and a local authority says they wanted to salute the animal for all that it has given to the area. (A statue of a sausage didn’t seem like the best idea.)
– Ananova
• Richard Branson’s space-tourism company, Virgin Galactic, has reportedly considered barring women with breast implants due to fears that … they might blow up.
– “Discover Magazine”

AND WE QUOTE:
“In evaluating the circumstances of the last few days, A&E has decided to take ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ off the network’s schedule for the foreseeable future. We hope that Mr Chapman continues the healing process that he has begun.”
– An official A&E statement reacting to Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman’s racist rant that hit the Internet.

BS CHRONOMETER 11.05.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [66] Art Garfunkel, Forest Hills NY, oldies singer (Simon & Garfunkel-“Bridge Over Troubled Water”, “I Am a Rock”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1959 [48] Bryan Adams, Kingston ON, oldies singer (Grammy Award-“[Everything I Do] I Do It For You”, “Cuts Like a Knife”)

1961 [46] David Bryson, San Francisco CA, alt-rock guitarist (Counting Crows-“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Mr Jones”)

1971 [36] Jonny Greenwood, Oxford UK, rock musician (Radiohead-“Bodysnatchers”, “Creep”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752. It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings. One of the day’s traditions gives it its nickname – ‘Bonfire Night’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [04] “The Matrix Revolutions” (3rd in the trilogy) opens at the exact same moment worldwide, the first-ever simultaneous global movie release

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1988 [19] Beach Boys hit #1 with the single “Kokomo”, the longest gap between #1 hits by a recording artist (21 years, 10 months since “Good Vibrations”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1923 [84] 1st ‘Electric Shaver’ patented (and 1st guy suffers severe pain when his nose hair gets caught)

1995 [12] 1st NBA game at Vancouver’s GM Place (Grizzlies beat Timberwolves in OT, but the team’s history is all downhill from there until it moves to Memphis)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [13] 45-year-old George Foreman becomes ‘Oldest Heavyweight Boxing Champion’ by KO-ing Michael Moorer (who will never live it down)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] BMI Country Awards (Nashville)
[Tues] Saxophone Day
[Tues] Halfway Point of Autumn
[Tues] Garth Brooks releases “The Ultimate Hits”
[Wed] World Community Day
[Wed] 41st CMA Awards (Nashville)
[Wed] Take Our Kids to Work Day
[Thurs] 8th Latin Grammy Awards (Las Vegas)
[Thurs] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Thurs] International Tongue Twister Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Animal Shelter Appreciation Week / Canadian Career Week / Dear Santa Letter Week / International Orangutan Awareness Week / Intimate Apparel Marketing Week / Long-Term Care Awareness Week / Patient Accessibility Week

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A TAD OUT-OF-SHAPE:
• You’re on your car’s third pair of shocks.
• You fracture a rib by lowering your flabby arms too quickly.
• Bathroom scales give a sigh of relief when you step off.
• Weight Watchers has a lien on your mortgage.
• When brushing your teeth you have to rest between ‘up’ and ‘down’.
• Your doctor’s first words … “Open your mouth and say moo.”
• When you stop exercising, parts of you continue to move.
• Packs of dogs are attracted by your high-pitched wheeze.
• Concert patrons refuse to go home until you sing.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Australian hospital worker Graham Barker has been collecting his navel lint daily since 1984. His vast collection is on display online, even in 3-D …
NET: http://feargod.net/fluff.html

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your ‘favorite flop’, the movie you love even though everybody else seems to hate it?

WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest/phone caller/crew member decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Go to sleep on the cold floor OR go to sleep on a comfortable mattress with an unidentified sticky stain on it?
• Have a plugged nose OR have perpetually plugged ears?
• Have to apologize on national TV for a marital infidelity OR for a sexual shortcoming?
• Chew your own hand out of a trap OR pull out all of your teeth and swallow them one at a time?
• Sleep with a randomly assigned person 40 years older than you every day for 4 months OR sleep with your divorced stepfather/stepmother once?
• Have to kill ‘Winnie the Pooh’ OR have to kill ‘Bambi’?
• Always lose OR never play?
• Eat a rotten egg OR eat a raw 5-lb pumpkin in one sitting?
• Immerse your naked body in a bathtub full of cockroaches OR dive naked head-first into a pool of chewing tobacco spit?
• Always dress like a ho OR always dress like a nun?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 1-in-13 of us have THIS hanging on the wall at home.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A wall decoration with ‘Home Sweet Home’ on it.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can’t fake a stomach ache right before having spinach for dinner.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
A “BS” bellow-out to Keith Ellert @ The Rush 96.1 [CKRW] Whitehorse, Yukon who’s re-upped for another full-year subscription, and to these discerning newbies uploading BS this week: Grant Boyden @ 3UZ Melbourne, Australia; Kriya Gangiah @ Tuks FM 107.2 Pretoria, South Africa; Sharon White @ 95.5 FM Smooth Jazz [KYOT] Phoenix AZ; Ian Smith @ 94.9 The Cape [CKPE] Sydney NS; and Jim Kelly @ 90.1 The Heat [CRNC] Welland ON.