Wednesday, November 24, 2021 – Edition: #7114
The BS Press!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jeff Bezos’ rocket company, Blue Origin, has announced who will be the next celebrity in space will be. “Good Morning America” host Michael Strahan will be launched to the edge of space aboard the ‘New Shepard’ rocket. Strahan will be joined by Laura Shepard Churchley, whose father Alan Shepard was the first American astronaut in 1961 and later walked on the moon, plus 4 paying customers. This flight will mark the first time that Blue Origin will fill all 6 seats on the New Shepard rocket and capsule. Liftoff is slated for 9:30 am CT on December 9th.
-CNN
★ Tiger King’s Joe Exotic, has been transferred to a federal medical facility in North Carolina after being diagnosed with prostate cancer. He revealed his diagnosis earlier this month in a statement that was shared on Instagram, which read in part: “Everyone, It is with a sad face that I have to tell you the doctors called me in today to break the news that my prostate biopsy came back with an aggressive cancer, I am still waiting on the results from other test [sic] as well.” Exotic was sentenced to 22 years in prison last year for various crimes, including a murder-for-hire plot to kill Carole Baskin.
-Yahoo
★ J.K. Rowling’s controversial posts about trans women continue to divide her fans, with the furor against her reaching a new level over the weekend, when activists shared her home address on Twitter. That prompted a lengthy Twitter statement from the ‘Harry Potter’ author, reading in part: “I’ve now received so many death threats I could paper the house with them, and I haven’t stopped speaking out. Perhaps — and I’m just throwing this out there – the best way to prove your movement isn’t a threat to women, is to stop stalking, harassing and threatening us.”
-Yahoo
★ A live-action TV adaptation of the groundbreaking sci-fi film “Blade Runner” is currently in development. Filmmaker Ridley Scott, who directed the 1982 film, told BBC that a Blade Runner TV series is being planned and the first season will span 10 episodes. This is the first time “Blade Runner” is getting the live-action TV treatment, but an anime series titled “Blade Runner: Black Lotus” premiered on Adult Swim earlier this month.
-TheWrap
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Michael Keaton, John Wilson, the War on Drugs (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Julie Bowen, Keke Palmer, Zoe Wees
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rosamund Pike, Peter Jackson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Andy Samberg, Jesse Plemons, Jon Epcar
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jeff Goldblum, Caitriona Balfe, Sophie Buddle
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): “The View” celebrates Thanksgiving
• “The Talk” (CBS): Helen Mirren, Piper Perabo, guest co-host NeNe Leakes
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jeremy Renner
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jared Leto
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Machine Gun Kelly, Nikki Glaser, Alessia Cara
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Chris Appleton, Brandice Daniels, Zanna Roberts Rassi, the Young Emperors, Max Greenfield (R)
• “Survivor” (CBS): After a grueling season with no food, a warm meal is up for grabs at the reward challenge; the immunity challenge is a test of focus and balance.
• “A Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving: (NBC): Memorable Thanksgiving-themed sketches from the show’s 47 seasons.
• “The Humans” (SHOWTIME): A man gathers 3 generations of his family to celebrate Thanksgiving at his daughter’s apartment in Manhattan. As eerie things go bump in the night, the group’s deepest fears are laid bare.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – has scored her 10th #1 on the Billboard 200 chart with “Red (Taylor’s Version)”. That makes her the second woman with 10 or more #1s in the chart’s 65-year history. Barbra Streisand has 11. The original 2012 version of “Red” led the list for 7 weeks.
• Justin Bieber – is being urged to pull out of his show in Saudi Arabia by the fiancée of slain Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Hatice Cengiz wrote an open letter asking him to withdraw from a concert in Jeddah as part of the Formula One Saudi Arabian Grand Prix on Dec. 5. Quote: “You released an album that you titled Justice. You also released one titled Freedom. Saudi Arabia is in dire need of both.”
• Guns N’ Roses — Axl Rose thanked fans for their messages of support and sympathy after the recent death of his cat, Dexy. On Nov. 17, he broke the news of the 14-year-old pet’s passing by tweeting a photo of Dexter with the words ‘In loving memory’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3p4vsrzb
• Green Day – December 10, they will release the 16-song album “BBC Sessions”. It will feature live cuts recorded for the Corp. between 1994 and 2001.
• Madonna — opened up about her hip replacement surgery last year. During the “Madame X Presents: Madame Xtra Q&A”, she mentioned that she “used to be, like, a fitness/workout maniac” but during her 2019 Madame X tour, she was in “in more pain that I’ve ever been in in my life.” Now? Thanks to a new hip, she calls herself a “bionic woman”.
• Maddie & Tae — Taylor Dye shared on social media that she and husband Josh Kerr are expecting their first daughter this spring. Maddie Marlow commented, writing: “Thank you Jesus for the biggest blessing!! I CANT WAIT TO MEET HER”
• Garth Brooks – Among the artists whose songs he covered during his acoustic show at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium: Keith Whitley, Elton John, James Taylor, Merle Haggard, Johnny Paycheck, Conway Twitty George Jones, Lady Gaga, Lee Brice, and of course, Trisha Yearwood. Toward the end of the 2½ hour show, Brooks said he’s “looking into” a residency of some sort at the Ryman.
• Hank Williams Jr. — began his Country Music Hall of Fame acceptance speech on Sunday by saying he was glad the ceremony wasn’t scheduled for one day earlier, or he may not have been there. Why? It was “opening day of deer season.”
SHOOTING THE BULL
DRIVE-THRU-ING ME CRAZY:
According to a study, drive-thru service times have slowed by 26 seconds compared to last year. That may not seem like much — but in the world of fast food, every moment counts. A speedier drive-thru can be a competitive advantage for a restaurant, while long lines may discourage customers from stopping in. While restaurant staffing shortages are the main cause for drive-thru delays, fast food chains are implementing multiple solutions, including more lanes, more pickup options and more technology. Burger King is building prototypes with more drive-thru lanes. McDonald’s and others are experimenting with automated voice technology that can take customer orders. And last week, KFC announced a drive-thru alternative called Quick Pick-Up. Customers order ahead, park in a dedicated spot, and then walk into the restaurant to pick up their food near the register. That takes some pressure off drive-thru workers, and helps the restaurant build loyalty with rewards and offers through its app and website.
(Just a thought here, but they could also build loyalty by getting my order right sometimes!)
(Oh! OK…So that wasn’t an insult when they said to me: “I’m sorry about your ‘weight’!)
(Slower drive-thrus? OK, NOW the supply chain issue is really hitting home!)
-CNN
FRIENDSGIVING:
Pretty much everyone in the world with internet or a TV knows by now that tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the US. But for many, it’s “Friendsgiving”. What’s Friendsgiving? Hint: It has nothing to do with the TV show. The unofficial holiday has been growing in popularity since it first showed up online in 2007, but the term “Friendsgiving” didn’t start circulating significantly until 2013. And what is Friendsgiving? Basically, it is a Thanksgiving celebration enjoyed in the company of friends, rather than family. Its origins may have to do with changing economics around 2007. Many young people moved to large cities for work right when the Great Recession hit, leaving them without enough money to head home for Thanksgiving, or in jobs that required working on the holiday. So, a more informal gathering among friends made sense. It could also be related to people getting married later in life or delaying childbirth. As a result, some may not have immediate family to celebrate the holiday with. By now, Friendsgiving has come a long way from its casual origins, even inspiring a 2020 Netflix movie – which we’re pretty sure you can guess the title of…
(And using my family as a barometer, Friendsgiving sounds like a better idea every year!)
(Of course, the main problem is that none of my friends have any idea how to cook a turkey!)
-CNN
HOLD THE PHONE:
Is nothing sacred? According to a new survey, people feel the need to use their cell phones pretty much everywhere – at a any time. And that includes at weddings, at funerals, while on the toilet…and even immediately after sex! According to a new poll examining how people deal with boredom, the emergence of smartphones, apps and mobile games has changed how people preoccupy themselves…forever. The study of 1,100 Americans found that a staggering 99% of people break out their phone while watching TV. Other findings:
• 88% use their phone while walking on the sidewalk
• 73% use it while walking the dog
• 42% even stare at their phone while crossing the street
• 33% use a smartphone while biking or skating
• 66% use it during religious services
• 50% during a wedding
• 33% during a funeral or wake
• and 60% will pull out their phone to avoid talking with relatives at holiday parties
Not surprisingly, nearly half of respondents who use their phone while walking have hurt themselves by falling or running into something while distracted.
(None of this should come as a surprise if you just consider how long it’s been since you brought along a newspaper to the bathroom!)
-StudyFinds
THE MOST-ANNOYING SONGS OF THE 1970S:
(According to a scientific analysis by E-Five Laboratories, Inc….)
1. ‘Convoy’ — by C.W. McCall
2. ‘The Streak’ – Ray Stevens
3. ‘The Morning After’ — Maureen McGovern
4. ‘(You’re) Having My Baby’ – Paul Anka & Odia Coates
5. ‘Seasons in the Sun’ — Terry Jacks
6. ‘Afternoon Delight’ — Starland Vocal Band
7. ‘Disco Duck’ — Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots
8. ‘Angie Baby’ — Helen Reddy
9. ‘Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree’ — Tony Orlando & Dawn
10. ‘Escape (The Piña Colada Song)’ — Rupert Holmes
(Go ahead – tell us what song from the 70s is even WORSE…)
-Spinditty
THANKSGIVING QUOTES YOU’LL WANT TO SHARE:
• “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy
• “When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect toward others.” – Dalai Lama
• “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed. This is the best season for giving back!” – Maya Angelou
• “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” – Princess Diana
• “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, never have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey
-MSN
DID YOU KNOW?
Pillow fighting is moving out of the bedroom and into the boxing ring when Pillow Fight Championship holds its first live, pay-per-view event in Florida on Jan. 29. Steve Williams, the man who is turning childhood horseplay into a pro combat sport, says: “The only difference between our fights and MMA fights is that nobody gets hurt.” The three-round bouts will be available to view on sports streaming platform FITE.
-Reuters
BS CHRONOMETER 11.24.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [79] (Sir) Billy Connolly, Anderston Scotland, comedian/movie actor (“The Boondock Saints”)
1955 [66] Clem Burke [Bozewski], Bayonne NJ, rock drummer (Blondie-‘Call Me’, ‘One Way or Another’, Ramones, Romantics)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2006
1964 [57] Conleth Hall, Ballycastle Northern Ireland, TV actor (‘Lord Varys’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-19)
1977 [44] Colin Hanks, Sacramento CA, TV actor (“Life in Pieces” since 2015)/movie actor (“King Kong”)/son of Tom Hanks
1978 [43] Katherine Heigl, Washington DC, TV actress (“State of Affairs” 2014-15, “Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-10)/movie actress (“Knocked Up”)
1983 [38] Gwilym Lee, Bristol England, movie actor (‘Brian May’ in “Bohemian Rhapsody”)
1990 [31] Sarah Hyland, NYC, TV actress (‘Haley Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” 2009-20)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day”, saluting the individual abilities each of us has. Okay, so what is it that you can do that no one else can? Whistle through your nose? Play both armpits simultaneously? Recite the alphabet backwards?
• “D.B. Cooper Day”, also known as Dan Cooper, a pseudonym for an unknown man who in 1971 hijacked a commercial plane traveling from Portland to Seattle, and parachuted out with $200,000 in ransom money. An extensive manhunt ensued, but he was never identified or seen again, resulting in one of the greatest unsolved mysteries in US history.
• “Brownielocks Day”, to celebrate being a brunette (or “brownielocks”). As some people have “big” brown hair, the day has also been called Big Hair Day. It has also been referred to as Brunette Pride Day.
• “National Sardines Day”, Here are 5 things to know about Sardines:
– Sardines are the most plentiful edible fish in the world.
– Sardines live short lives, and grow quite quickly. They can reach a length of 23cm in 2 years.
– The main ingredient in Worcestershire sauce is fermented sardines.
– The term sardine was first used in English during the 15th century and may come from the Mediterranean island of Sardinia, around which sardines were once abundant.
– The original ‘secret’ ingredient in Caesar Salad is crushed sardines.
• “Blackout Wednesday”, sometimes referred to as “Drinksgiving”, takes place the night before Thanksgiving. Why? Very few people work on Thanksgiving, and most college students are home for the holiday, giving them a chance to catch up with their high school friends and hit the bars. In some parts of the US, it’s one of the biggest drinking and party nights of the year. (Enjoy your Thanksgiving meal with a side of Aspirin tomorrow!)
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Blasé Day
[Thurs] American Thanksgiving Day
[Fri] Black Friday
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1991 [30] Under the new ownership of actor John Candy, NHL great Wayne Gretzky and LA Kings owner Bruce McNall, the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts win the Grey Cup with a 36-21 victory over the Calgary Stampeders at Winnipeg Stadium
2016 [05] Florence Henderson, who played Mom ‘Carol’ in “The Brady Bunch”, dies at 82
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1991 [30] Queen singer Freddie Mercury dies of AIDS-related complications at 45
2007 [14] Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea’s $4.8 million home is “burnt to a crisp” in a wildfire that also sweeps through 53 other properties in Malibu CA
2019 [02] Taylor Swift wins 6 American Music Awards including Artist of the Year and Artist of the Decade
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1874 [147] Inventor Joseph Glidden patents barbed wire (without it, there’d be a lot of people with no idea of what tattoo to get!)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ On average, males spend 11.4 minutes in the shower, females spend 13 minutes.
✓ The little bumpers on the underside of a toilet seat are called ‘buculets’.
✓ A balanced diet for a human is about the same as that of a rat.
✓ The more features your phone has, the longer you spend on the toilet.
✓ The average speed of a Heinz Ketchup squirt is .028 MPH.
✓ NONE of the passengers on the Mayflower had middle names.
-FactSlides, BathroomReadersInstitute
BS WHACK TURKEY FACTS:
✓ An adult turkey has about 3,500 feathers.
✓ Male turkeys gobble. Hens do not. They make a clicking noise.
✓ A 15-lb turkey usually has about 70% white meat and 30% dark meat.
✓ A 16-week-old turkey is called a ‘fryer’. A 5-7 month-old turkey is called a ‘young roaster’ and a year-old bird is a ‘yearling. A turkey 15 months or older is called ‘mature’.
✓ Nutritionists believe that the amount of tryptophan in turkey is insufficient to induce sleepiness. Rather, it’s the traditional bun-potato-stuffing-pie Thanksgiving meal as a whole that triggers after-dinner lethargy (plus all that wine…).
✓ For the record, turkeys do NOT have belly buttons.
-CNN, Smithsonian
Best of BS . . .
BS STUPID QUESTIONS AT A TAILGATE PARTY:
• “Why are we six hours early?”
• “What do you have for a vegan who doesn’t drink?”
• “See any rednecks?”
• “Who wants to drink?”
• “Is there a game today?”
• “Dude, Where’s my car?”
• “You gonna marinate that?”
• “Wanna shotgun a beer and go flip that hatchback upside down?”
• “Tell me again why we are out in subfreezing weather, 4 hours before game time, cooking wings and ribs in the sleet when we could be in our warm house drinking beer, ordering pizza and watching the game on the 84 inch flat screen?”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
BS HOW TO RECOGNIZE A TURKEY:
• By the way it’s dressed.
• It is drinking out of a gobble-let.
• I’m not sure, but if it contains a bag of giblets, there’s a pretty good chance that’s it.
• You were bowling and got 3 strikes in a row.
• It is NOT crossing the road.
• Looks like the label on the 25 empty bottles in the back of Uncle Ernie’s pick-up.
• It has a tendency to talk “jive”.
• Open up your “maps” app and see if you are anywhere near Istanbul.
• It’s the big brown lumpy stuff in the giant 70s retro Tupperware container sitting in the back of the fridge, oozing penicillin.
• It puts pineapple on pizza.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Tomorrow is US Thanksgiving! (Or, as it’s known at my house, “Hey, let’s get blackout drunk before my mother-in-law can remind everyone what a huge disappointment I am” Day…)
➠ It’s US Thanksgiving tomorrow. A day of reflection, and to give thanks for our blessings. (I’m thanking the Pilgrims for choosing Turkey and not Yak!)
➠ Research shows that occasional pot smoking is not harmful to your lungs. (Scientists came to the conclusion after counting all of Miley Cyrus’ gold albums…)
➠ A poll says Millennials and Gen-Zers will take 25,000 selfies during their lives. (Not to be confused with Kardashians, who take 25,000 selfies before lunch…)
➠ Nearly 60% of Vegas casinos’ revenue comes from slot machines. (The other 40%? That comes from guests touching the Cheez-It box in their hotel minibar…)
➠ Fact: Drinking coffee or tea can lower a person’s risk of stroke. (It’s true, Starbucks fan . . . as long as you don’t look at your receipt!)
BS THREEZER:
(Give contestant the clues, they tell you what all three have in common…)
• A car, a tree, an elephant
Answer: They all have trunks
• A weak battery, a matador, a crime suspect
Answer: They’re all charged
• An ant, a lobster, a radio
Answer: They all have antennas
-TriBond
BS WEB GOODIE:
Kidnapping: https://tinyurl.com/y34zsjum
BS RANDOM JOKES:
• I miss the good old days when Black Friday actually was on a Friday.
• Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s a pick-up line that’s so bad, it’ awesome? (“If I show you my Pokemon, can I pikachu?” “Are you the bottom of my laptop? Because you’re really hot and it’s making me nervous!” “If your bank balance was the same as your phone number, how much money would you have?”)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
Question: 10% of us admit that we aren’t very good at THIS…but it’s probably more. What is it?
Answer: Spelling
Question: In a survey, 23% of people admitted that they do THIS in preparation for their huge Thanksgiving dinner. What is it?
Answer: Wear stretchy pants
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.
