Monday, November 2, 2020 — Edition: #6841

Sheet for Brains!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Former ‘James Bond’ actor Pierce Brosnan has joined the flood of tributes to “one of the true greats of cinema”, Sean Connery, saying the Scottish actor “cast a long shadow of cinematic splendor that will live on forever”. Sir Sean Connery died on Saturday at the age of 90. He was best known for his portrayal of James Bond, the first to bring the role to the big screen, and appearing in seven of the spy thrillers. Connery died peacefully in his sleep, while in the Bahamas, after being “unwell for some time”, according to his son. His acting career spanned five decades and he won an Oscar in 1988 for his role in “The Untouchables”. Connery’s other films included “The Hunt for Red October”, “Highlander’, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” and “The Rock”.
-BBC
★ Lori Loughlin has reported to a federal prison in California to begin serving a two-month sentence for her role in the college admissions scandal. She recently received permission to report to prison almost 3 weeks early, and agreed not to seek early release on COVID-related grounds, according to the prosecutor. In August, Loughlin was sentenced to two months and her fashion designer husband, Mossimo Giannulli, got five months for paying $500,000 in bribes to get their two daughters into the University of Southern California as rowing recruits.
-CBC
★ Ryan Seacrest avoided a health blunder and then paid it forward. Thankfully, he was able to celebrate Halloween with his co-star Kelly Ripa after missing work for two days while awaiting COVID-19 results. After receiving a negative, he gifted several children around Los Angeles their own Halloween costumes ahead of the weekend. Helping kids from all different backgrounds get in the spooky spirit, Seacrest took to social media and showed their smiling, costumed faces.
-TheBlast
★ Sacha Baron Cohen, the star of “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm,” donated $100,000 to the church of a woman who believed she was taking part in a documentary but instead found herself featured in the mockumentary comedy film. 62-year-old Jeanise Jones was under the impression that she had been recruited by Ebenezer Missionary Baptist Church, in Oklahoma City to mentor a teenager named “Tutar” who came to the U.S. with her father from a developing nation. She didn’t find out until the film was released that “Tutar” was an actress, and the man — whom she believed was the girl’s father — was actually Cohen. The church indicates the money has been earmarked for community use.
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): John Lithgow, Freddie Highmore, Giveon
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Anthony Anderson, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Big Boi and Sleepy Brown featuring Killer Mike & Big Rube
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Oliver, JoJo
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Mulaney
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Pete Buttigieg, Travis
• “Conan” (TBS): Andy Daly
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Eddie Lucas, Francesca Rubi
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Nate Silver
• “The Talk” (CBS): Joel Kinnaman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Freddie Highmore, Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sacha Baron Cohen, Sarah Cooper
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jon Bon Jovi, Melissa Etheridge
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Chelsea Handler, Luvvie Ajayi Jones, Yamaneika Saunders, Mark Manson, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC): Double Elimination Night — Use Your Vote!
• “The Price Is Right at Night” (CBS): Cedric the Entertainer, Max Greenfield, Beth Behrs, Tichina Arnold, Sheaun McKinney, Marcel Spears and Hank Greenspan of “The Neighborhood” test their price-knowledge to raise money for the Boys and Girls Club of America
• “The Good Doctor” (ABC): Season 4 premiere
• “Below Deck” (BRAVO): Season 8 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Bieber – says when it comes to tattoos, “I think I’m done on my neck. That’s a Hailey request.” He released the 30-minute YouTube special on Friday “Justin Bieber: Next Chapter”, where he also revealed he plans to get portraits of his future children tattooed on his back.
• Sam Smith’s – says “Love Goes” is a break-up album, detailing personal changes after their 2018 split from “13 Reasons Why” actor Brandon Flynn, following a nine-month relationship.
• Jonas Brothers — On Friday, they released their festive new song ‘I Need You Christmas’. One day ahead of its debut, they jointly shared a set of nostalgic holiday photos on the band’s Instagram.
• Paris Jackson — On Friday, the 22-year-old daughter of Michael Jackson released her debut solo single, ‘Let Down’, along with an accompanying music video. It’s from her upcoming album “Wilted”.
• Van Halen — David Lee Roth has released ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bar and Grill’, a new song dedicated to Eddie Van Halen. The accompanying text reads: “Hey Ed I’m gonna miss ya. See you on the other side”. The largely acoustic song features lyrical nods to both The Wizard of Oz’s ‘Over the Rainbow’ and Elton John’s ‘Crocodile Rock’. It’s available on YouTube. LINK:  https://youtu.be/zsdTQngjE5Y
• Eagles – Their new album “Live at the Forum MMXVIII” has debuted at #5 on Billboard with 24,000 copies sold in the U.S. That’s the group’s largest sales week since “Long Road Out of Eden” sold 38,000 copies in February, 2008.
• Garth Brooks – is counting his lucky ‘spurs’ after a construction injury only cost him a fingernail. He postponed his album launch livestream after injuring his hand in Oct., but didn’t go into details. Now, he says the accident won’t affect his guitar playing, but his fingers are “gonna be sore for a while”.
• Maddie & Tae – will be among the performers participating in “The Farm Must Go On”, a virtual country music concert on YouTube to help farmers in need. Travis Denning, Mickey Guyton, Dustin Lynch, Tyler Farr and more will be on stage live from Nashville’s Brooklyn Bowl on Dec. 9.

TALKIN’ TURKEY:
Scaled-back Thanksgiving celebrations in the US could spell disaster for turkey farmers. With official warnings against travel and large indoor gatherings, many grocers and their suppliers are scrambling to figure out what people will want on their holiday tables. One stat shows that 43% of shoppers plan to celebrate Thanksgiving with only those in their household. But an increase is predicted in demand for alternatives, including ham, pork roast and seafood, plus plant-based meats. Walmart says it will carry plenty of whole turkeys, but will offer more turkey breasts to accommodate shoppers who don’t want to cook a whole bird. And some suppliers say they decided to harvest some turkeys earlier this year, in order to offer smaller birds.
(Please tell me they aren’t harvesting the pumpkin pie early, too?)
(Less demand for turkey? The farmers don’t like it, but so far, no complaints from the turkeys!)
(The good news? Those who do buy a full-size turkey can expect even MORE leftovers!)
-NYPost

GOTTA GO:
Scientists say they have discovered the gene that tells us when it’s time to…pee. According to Scripps Research Institute, their study uncovered a gene, known as PIEZO2, that is likely responsible for the human urge to urinate. It apparently acts on at least two different types of cells by sensing when our bladders are full and need to be emptied. Researchers say their study shows how specific genes and cells may “play critical roles in initiating this process”. They found that mice which do not have this gene showed signs of not being able to recognize the urge to urinate.
(Gee what could those signs be?)
(But funny enough, spotting a mouse still causes many people to pee!)
(Fortunately, I don’t need a gene to tell me when it’s time to do that. I just need to lock the house and start up the car!)
-StudyFinds

GREASE FIRE:
Forget the Christmas turkey. This holiday season, your house can once again smell like a delicious bucket of KFC. The Colonel has announced the return of the “Extra Crispy Fire Log” in the US for a limited time. That’s right, you can get the KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog from Enviro-Log for just $19.99. The log is made of 100% recycled materials and is “designed to make your home smell like fried chicken”. But, as the good people at KFC also point out, it “may result in a craving for fried chicken”. And they warn users not to put their faces directly near the fire to smell the fried chicken smell.
(Or you’ll wind up with an “extra crispy” nose…)
(That’s right, you can spend 20 bucks on a log to make your house smell like KFC, or, you know, spend the same on a bucket of chicken, and make your house smell like KFC, PLUS you’ll have chicken!)
(Please tell me that their chicken isn’t also made out of “100% recycled materials”!)
-Insider, LADBible

WHO WILL BE THE NEXT JAMES BOND?
Sadly, the original 007, Sean Connery passed away on the weekend. While we continue to await the next Bond film, “No Time to Die”, here is a look at potential successors to Daniel’s Craig’s role…
➢ Tom Hardy (“The Revenant”):  Has the backing of former Bond Pierce Brosnan. Odds: 7/4
➢ Richard Madden (“Game of Thrones”):  Has apparently caught the eye of Bond producer Barbara Broccoli. Odds:  The favorite at 3/1
➢ Harry Styles (“Dunkirk”):  Very much an outsider, but if “Dunkirk” director Chris Nolan gets the Bond gig…his chances could improve. Odds: 150/1
➢ Lashana Lynch (“Captain Marvel”):  Her new “00” character teams up with Bond in “No Time To Die”, and could she could offer a new path for a franchise that is limited by its legacy. Odds:  6/1
➢ Idris Elba (“Thor” movies): The Sony hack in 2014 showed he was in the running then. Odds: 6/1
➢ Henry Cavill (“Man of Steel”):  Lost out to Daniel Craig last time, because he was considered too young. Odds:  10/1
➢ Sam Heughan (“The Spy Who Dumped Me”):  Born in Scotland, he has the Connery factor. Odds: 5/1
➢ Tom Hiddleston (“Thor” movies):  Might be TOO big for the role. Plus, in 2018, he said: “No one has talked to me about it”. Odds: 5/1
(Who is your pick?)
-Esquire, Oddschecker, MensJournal

DID YOU KNOW?
Paris traffic was brought to a standstill late last week when a record-breaking traffic jam was seen snaking through the city hours before France entered its second coronavirus lockdown. Figures from the official traffic monitoring website Sytadin showed the line reached 438 miles (706km) – breaking the previous French record of 391 miles (629km), which occurred last December amid public transport strikes. (I KNEW I should have sprung for the “potty” option when I bought this car…)
-LADBible

BS CHRONOMETER 11.02.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1957 [63] Carter Beauford, Charlottesville VA, rock drummer (Dave Matthews Band-‘Crash Into Me’, ‘Don’t Drink the Water’)

1961 [59] (Katherine Dawn) k.d. lang, Consort AB, pop singer (‘Constant Craving’, ‘Crying’)

1966 [54] David Schwimmer, Astoria NY, TV actor (“Friends” 1994-2004)/movie actor (“Madagascar” films)

1973 [47] Marisol Nichols, Chicago IL, TV actress (‘Hermoine Lodge’ on “Riverdale” since 2017, ‘Zoe Keates’ on “NCIS” 2015-2016

1974 [46] Nelly (Cornell Haynes Jr), Austin TX, rapper (‘Grillz’, ‘Hot in Herre’)

1980 [40] Karamo Brown, Houston TX, TV star (“Queer Eye” 2018-19, contestant on “Dancing With the Stars” 2019)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “All Souls’ Day”, the excuse for an annual “Kite Festival” in Santiago, Guatemala, when natives send massive, extremely colorful kites up to the heavens in an effort to communicate with the dead. In Mexico, it’s the second day of the “Day of the Dead” (‘El Dia de los Muertos’) celebration.

• “Deviled Egg Day”, saluting the dish that entails hard-boiled eggs cut in half and filled with the egg’s yolk mixed with mayonnaise & mustard.

• “Plan Your Epitaph Day”, dedicated to the proposition that a forgettable gravestone is a fate worse than death. Some actual tombstone epitaphs:
☞ “Pardon me for not getting up.”
☞ “I was hoping for a pyramid.”
☞ “She always said her feet were killing her, but no one believed her.”
☞ “Well, this sucks.”
☞ “I told you I was sick.”

• “Cookie Monster Day”, a celebration of the birthday of everyone’s favorite blue monster with a voracious appetite. Jim Henson created the original version of Cookie Monster for a General Foods commercial in 1966, and the beloved character appeared in the very first episode of “Sesame Street” in 1969. (All together now: “C is for cookie…”)

• “Practice Being Psychic Day”, I saw two psychics meet on the street yesterday. One said to the other “You are fine. How am I?”

• “Job Action Day”, is designed to empower and inspire anyone looking to find a job, find more fulfillment in their work, or plan the next steps in their career.

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Cliché Day
[Tues] Housewife Day
[Wed] King Tut Day
[Wed] National Candy Day
This Week Is…Animal Shelter Appreciation Week
This Month Is…Adopt A Senior Pet Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2018 [02] The Queen biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody”, starring Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury, opens in theaters. It wins four Oscars, including Best Actor for Malek

2003 [17] Cult favorite TV show “Arrested Development” premieres on FOX

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1985 [35] The “Miami Vice” soundtrack album, featuring the #1-hit theme song, tops the Albums chart in America, ushering in a new age of TV soundtracks

1995 [25] Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders guest stars on the “Friends” episode ‘The One with the Baby on the Bus’.  She sings ‘Angel of the Morning’ and learns ‘Smelly Cat’ from Phoebe

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2000 [20] The International Space Station becomes permanently staffed

2013 [07] In Wisconsin, 2 planes carrying 9 skydivers collide in midair, but amazingly there are no casualties as the skydivers parachute clear of debris and the pilots survive with minor injuries

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK ‘MOVEMBER’ FACTS:
✓ Mustaches are hotbeds for bacteria because of the moist air leaving the body through the nose and mouth.
✓ A study found that the more common bearded men are, the less attractive beards become to women.
✓ Sideburns are named after American Civil War General, General Burnside, who had huge sideburns connected by a mustache.
✓ In 17th century Russia, you could be taxed 100 rubles a year for having a beard.
✓ If you were to put down the razor and stop shaving forever, your beard would grow to approximately 27.5 feet (if you are male).
✓ The name “Chewbacca” is derived from the Russian word “sobaka,” which means “dog”.
-UberFacts

BS FAKE DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME FACTS:
• Farmers were required to set their roosters back before going to sleep on Saturday night.
• On Sunday morning, everyone woke up feeling super refreshed.
• It was invented to ensure people change the batteries in their smoke alarms.
• When you put your clocks back, you’re legally required to repeat everything you did or said in the previous hour.
• The hours taken away from us in spring are stored in secret government facilities and eventually used for covert purposes.
• You collect 4.5% interest on all daylight saved.
• Daylight saving was invented by Father Time’s evil twin brother, Father Never-on-Time.
• You can’t be arrested for anything illegal you do in the hour the clocks go back because it hasn’t happened yet.
• South of the equator, it is known as Nightlight Saving Time.
• It’s vital to farming.
• It’s daylight ‘savings’…not ‘saving’.
• When the clocks go back, your kids always sleep in, allowing you an extra hour of sleep.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Drake now has more charting singles than Taylor Swift, Elvis Presley, Kanye West, Justin Bieber and even The Beatles, with 208. (So, be sure to relay this news to your dad, the next time you want a four-hour lecture on the downfall of Western civilization)
➠ As you know, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are now engaged. (Few details are known, other than her dress will be white, his tux will be black and their marriage will be short!)
➠ Rob Schneider turned 57 on Saturday. (But as long as Adam Sandler keeps making corny comedy flicks, EVERY DAY is Rob Schneider’s birthday!)
➠ Bella Thorne dressed as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween. (It’s the first time an ‘innocent young girl’ costume made someone LESS innocent…)
➠ Saturday was Halloween. But many parties and get-togethers were canceled due to the pandemic. (I know! The only naughty Halloween costume I saw was a ‘Slutty Giuliani.” (One hand in the trick-or-treat bag and the other hand down his pants…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Happy Movember:  https://tinyurl.com/mf6thej

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which of these animals does NOT appear in the Chinese Zodiac?
a) Bear [CORRECT]
b) Rabbit
c) Dragon
d) Dog

• How many dots are there on two dice?
a) 21
b) 22
c) 42 [CORRECT]
d) 127

• In the nursery rhyme, how many blackbirds were baked in a pie?
a) 8
b) 14
c) 24 [CORRECT]
d) A 6-pack
-DailyMail, Jetpunk

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I can’t believe that some people won’t eat the crust. Like, it’s part of the food. It’s fantastic, even if it doesn’t taste like the rest of the watermelon.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What supposed ‘fun’ thing will you never do again?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  According to a survey, the average man has 11 of these, and the average woman has 5. What is it?
Answer:  Hats

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.