November 23 2017

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Thursday, November 23, 2017 – Edition: #6104

Sheet Happens!

★ Chrissy Teigen has another baby in her belly, and she let her daughter, Luna, help announce it to the world. Teigen posted a video Tuesday of her asking Luna, “What’s in here?” referring to her stomach. Luna says it’s a “baby.” Her husband, John Legend, confirmed the news on Twitter. Oh, and in true Chrissy style, she captioned her announcement video: “It’s John’s!”
-TMZ, Chrissy Teigen
★ David Cassidy’s family says the actor-singer is finally “free from the pain that had gripped him for so long.” The former star of “The Partridge Family” died Tuesday night at the age of 67.  His death comes days after he was  hospitalized with organ failure. Cassidy announced earlier this year he had been diagnosed with dementia. During his career, he was one of the biggest teen-idols in history.  He was also plagued with substance abuse, financial troubles, and has three failed marriages.  “The Partridge Family” aired from 1970-74 and was intended as a vehicle for Shirley Jones, Cassidy’s real-life stepmother.
-ContactMusic, AP
★ Gwyneth Paltrow is engaged to Brad Falchuk after more than three years of dating.  For now, the couple are planning to keep their happy news under wraps, but it has been confirmed by multiple sources. Though Paltrow and Falchuk have already taken engagement photos, according to an insider, Paltrow is “waiting to announce it on her website.”
(Maybe she’d like to just post a link to this story?)
★ Sasha Baron Cohen has offered to pay the fines of a group of six Czech tourists got into trouble in real-life Kazakhstan for wearing Borat-style mankinis. Baron Cohen popularized the suit when he donned a bright green one in the 2006 movie ‘Borat’, whose title character is a nonsensical reporter from Kazakhstan. Clearly, he appreciated the stunt. In a Facebook post Monday, Baron Cohen said he would cover their fines.
(Cause let’s face it, that suit isn’t covering ANYTHING!)
★ Gordon Ramsay routinely berates contestants on his TV shows for their poor taste – often in very colorful terms.  But this week it is the celebrity chef’s own tastebuds that are being called into question.  Ramsay appeared in a TV commercial promoting a South Korean beer that can politely be described as bland.  Ramsay says he is far from embarrassed by the ad, and declared that ‘Cass’ is the “the beer of the people” – unpretentious, affordable and the perfect antidote to the spicy, pungent flavors of Korean food.
(Fair Beer…Great Price!)
★ Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman and his wife Beth, are leaving the bounty hunting business.  In September, Beth revealed she has been diagnosed with stage two throat cancer.  She underwent 12 hours of surgery to have the tumor in her neck removed, but says that the dangers of her husband’s job has led to even more stress in her life.  Quote: “I feel like, even though I had a 50/50 chance with this surgery, Duane has a 50/50 chance every time he leaves the house and that contributes to my stress”.  Duane and Beth Chapman starred on the long-running reality series ‘Dog The Bounty Hunter’ from 2003 to 2012, and it’s subsequent series, ‘Dog and Beth: On the Hunt’.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Billy Joel, Tracy Morgan, Paul Shaffer ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jerry Seinfeld, Robert Irwin ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Conan O’Brien, Tig Notaro ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Josh Meyers, Hilary & Larry Meyers
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Michael Fassbender, Ana De Armas, Jack Hanna ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Ellen Page, Impractical Jokers, Caleb Synan ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Taraji P. Henson ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kaitlin Olson, Kevin Frazier ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Trevor Noah, Anna Camp ( R )
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Andrew Garfield, Snoop Dogg, Beck ( R )
• “The Mistletoe Inn” (HALLMARK): An aspiring romance novelist attends a writers’ conference at a quaint Vermont inn, where she bonds with a published author who’s dealing with writer’s block.
• “NFL Football” (FOX/CBS/NBC/TSN/CTV2): Vikings@Lions, Chargers@Cowboys, Giants@Redskins

• Lady Gaga – is engaged, and it’s probably a good thing, because her fiancé Christian Carino has a massive tattoo of her on his arm.  Although the two became engaged this summer, wedding plans are apparently on hold while Gaga recovers from a recent bout of chronic pain.
• Gwen Stefani – wants to write a musical.  She says she would love to expand her horizons and create a theatre production, or be involved in another ”writing thing”, because she is feeling confident in her writing these days.
• Fergie – wants to make a music video for every song on her album ‘Double Dutchess ‘.  She released her second studio LP in September year, and says she has set herself the task of creating footage to accompany all 13 songs.
• Eurythmics – are to release eight of their iconic albums on vinyl. The records will come out between April and October next year.  They are also releasing an 11-minute video titled ‘EURYTHMIX’, which is a retrospective sourced from 23 Eurythmics videos from 1983 to 2005.
• Billy Joel – will appear on tonight’s episode of ‘Arrow’.  He will appear onstage, as part of a plot about a concert bombing plot.  Actual Billy Joel concert footage will be used.
• Def Leppard – has started work on a new album.  Guitarist Phil Collen reports that they have three songs “on the go”.
• Guns N’ Roses – will return to the city that helped inspire ‘Welcome To The Jungle’ next week when they play the final show of the current leg of their reunion tour. Their ‘Not In This Lifetime Tour’ hits The Forum in Los Angeles on November 29.
• Neil Young – will perform live at an undisclosed location somewhere in Canada on Friday, Dec. 1. The concert will be livestreamed at 8 p.m. at and on Facebook around the world. Young’s girlfriend, actress Daryl Hannah, will direct the ‘Somewhere in Canada’ concert, which happens the same day his archives become available for streaming via his ‘Xstream by NYA’ service, and when he releases his new studio album, ‘The Visitor’.
• Kelsea Ballerini – is among an all-star list of performers for a ‘CMA Country Christmas’ on ABC Monday. Now in its eighth year, this year’s show also features MC Reba McEntire, Luke Bryan, Alan Jackson, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Dustin Lynch, CB30, Dan + Shay, Brett Eldredge, CeCe Winans, Trisha Yearwood and Chris Young.
• Kenny Chesney – He and Blake Shelton have the top two country CDs on the Billboard album chart for this week.  Chesney’s “Live in No Shoes Nation” dropped from sixth to ninth with 33,000 units sold, and Shelton’s “Texoma Shore” fell from 4th to 10th with 32,000 units sold.

Here is how to avoid a Thanksgiving (or Christmas) turkey calamity:
✓ The Myth of Rinsing:  All it does is spread bacteria around the kitchen.  The only way to kill it is to cook it.
✓ The Eye Test:  Don’t judge a turkey’s done-ness by the naked eye.  Golden-brown or not, use a meat thermometer.  It should read 165 degrees (in the turkey, not the oven!).
✓ The Stuffing Matters:  The stuffing should reach the same 165 degree temp.
✓ Time Limit on Leftovers:  If you expect turkey leftovers to last more than a few days, freeze it!  Refrigerated turkey lasts 3-4 days, tops.  Beyond that, you might find yourself with an extra-long weekend…on the toilet! (Leftover turkey?  Rookies!)
(So follow these tips and beat the ‘Thanksgiving rush’!)

Well, this is different!  A Newfoundland man says he plans to sell ICEBERG advertising!  He plans to auction off the opportunity to advertise on an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean next spring.  Larry Daley says on his website that the ad will be sold to the highest bidder, with bids starting at US$500,000. The website points out that  “For creative and imaginative bidders this is only the tip of the iceberg.”  Some of the advertising ideas he suggests include: landing the latest model of luxury vehicle and maneuvering it on the berg, promoting your unique brand, or launching a new product, sending a strong message about global warming or even a marriage proposal.  His website claims the iceberg “wrap” will be environmentally friendly and all materials will eventually be removed, “ensuring the environment is returned back to its original state.”  Larry Daley is a logistics specialist who has worked with film companies to lead expeditions to the wreck of the Titanic.
(I’ve heard of a shrinking advertising budget, but…)
(And when it comes to bad puns, this is only the tip of the iceberg too!)
(Great idea…if you are marketing your product to seals and puffins!)

Beyonce has dethroned Taylor Swift as the highest-earning female musician of 2017. The “Lemonade” star’s pretax earnings completely overshadowed her competition, putting her head and shoulders above everyone else (But of course Taylor didn’t tour or release an album in the measured time period….).

1.  Beyonce – $105 million

2.  Adele – $69 million

3.  Taylor Swift – $44 million

4.  Celine Dion – $42 million

5.  Jennifer Lopez – $38 million

6.  Dolly Parton – $37 million

7.  Rihanna – $36 million

8.  Britney Spears – $34 million

9.  Katy Perry – $33 million

10.  Barbra Streisand – $30 million


1960 [57] Robin Roberts, Tuskeegee AL, TV co-host (“Good Morning America” since 2005)

1971 [46] Lesley Fera, California, TV actress (“Pretty Little Liars” 2010-2017)

1971 [46] Chris Hardwick, Louisville KY, comedian (“@Midnight” since 2013, “Talking Dead” since 2011)

1987 [30] Snooki (Nicole Polizzi), Santiago Chile, reality star (“Jersey Shore” 2009-2012, “Snooki & JWOWW” 2012-2015)

1992 [25] Miley Cyrus (born Destiny Hope Cyrus), Nashville TN, pop singer (‘Wrecking Ball’, ‘The Climb’)/TV actress (“Hannah Montana” 2006-10)

• “American Thanksgiving Day”, an annual feasting tradition made a statutory holiday on the 4th Thursday of November in 1879.  The event that Americans commonly call the ‘First Thanksgiving’ was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in October 1621.  (No ‘Black Friday’ that year!)

• “Cashew Day”, celebrating the yummy nut that sounds like a sneeze. (ca-SHEEEWW!)

• “Espresso Day”, a good excuse to have a wake-me-up shot this morning.  Luigi Bezzera invented the espresso coffee machine in Italy in 1901.  His objective was to decrease his employees’ coffee break time and increase their productivity.  The small cup in which an espresso is served is called a demitasse.

• “Dr. Who Day”, marks the 54th anniversary of “An Unearthly Child,” the debut episode of Doctor Who and the origin point of an ever-expanding universe.  Originally airing on the BBC at precisely 5:15, William Hartnell’s Doctor Who hopped in his big blue police box and embarked on an adventure that has enamored millions of fans for more than a half-century. Happy birthday, Doctor.

• “Eat a Cranberry Day”, native to North America, cranberries are grown in bogs, primarily in New England. When the pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, they found Native Americans harvesting them, and eating them.  Native Americans also used them as dyes for clothing, and for medicinal purposes.

[Fri] Black Friday
[Fri] Flossing Day
[Sat] National Parfait Day
[Sat] Small Business Saturday

2013 [04] A special episode of Brit sci-fi program “Doctor Who” entitled ‘The Day Of the Doctor’ airs simultaneously in 94 countries to celebrate the show’s 50th anniversary (Guinness World Record for the largest-ever simulcast of a TV drama)

1979 [38] Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” is released, sells 6 million copies in 2 weeks

2013 [04] One Direction hosts “1D Day”, a 7½ hour interactive live-stream on YouTube and Google+ Hangout that includes live band performances and celebrity guests (an unprecedented use of social media)

2005 [12] Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is elected president of Liberia, becoming the 1st woman to lead an African country

2000 [17] Dot-com tycoon Jaakko Rytsola sets a world record in Finland with a $71,400 speeding ticket (traffic fines in Finland are linked to the offender’s income).  This record has since been beaten…bigtime…by a Swiss driver who was ticketed to the tune of US$1million!


✓ If you bought an iPhone in 1991, part by part, it would have cost you US$3.56 million.
✓ A tiger’s roar can be heard as far as 1.8 miles (3 km) away.
✓ There are stars in the universe that are cold enough to be touched by the human hand.
✓ More photos were taken in the last two minutes than in the entire 19th century.
✓ During the Christmas season, almost 28 LEGO sets are sold every second.
✓ It takes an average of two months to climb Mount Everest.

• Salmonella won’t be a concern.
• Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.
• Uninvited guests will think twice before showing up next year.
• Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation.
• Pets won’t pester you for scraps.
• The smoke alarm was due for a test anyway.
• Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
• After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.
• The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.
• You won’t have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

• “Black Friday has become so commercialized.”
• “I do hate missing my kid’s birthday.”
• “Someday, there’ll be a way to shop from home.”
• “This isn’t the line to vote?”
• “I’m just waiting to return something.”
• “Just 2 more days and boom! … 10 whole dollars off a giant-screen TV!”
• “Sale? I’m avoiding my family.”
• “So, where did YOUR life go wrong?”

• According to statistical analysis, people spend 1.3 years of their lives on average deciding which of the following?
a. What to watch on television. [CORRECT]
b. What to have for dinner.
c. What to wear.

Q: You sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and pops carves up the bird, giving your siblings the drumsticks, mom the wings, himself the breast and you the ‘snood’. What the heck are you getting?
A: The snood is that fleshy projection just above the bill on a turkey. Bon appetit!

☎ What was the last REALLY stupid thing you did?

Sometimes pregnancy lasts so long, it seems like a maternity.

Question:  In a survey, 67% of people said they could take up to a week to do this.
Answer:  Eat Thanksgiving leftovers.

A lot of Thanksgivings have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

Like the Bull Sheet?  Like ‘The Bull Sheet’ on Facebook!

Leave a comment