November 24 2017

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Friday, November 24, 2017 – Edition: #6105

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ Jimmy Fallon kicked off Thanksgiving weekend by treating New York commuters to a surprise performance with Maroon 5 in a subway station. Following up on his last successful busking prank with Miley Cyrus in June, Fallon teamed up with Adam Levine and bandmate James Valentine inside 50th Street station below Rockefeller Center, disguised with hipster beards, hats and glasses.
★ Jennifer Lawrence and director Darren Aronofsky have broken up. The two dated for about a year after working together on the movie ‘Mother!’.  Apparently the split happened last month and was amicable.  In August, Lawrence talked about dating Aronofsky—who’s 21 years older than her—saying, “I’ve been in relationships before where I am just confused. And I’m never confused with him.”
(But that movie they did together confused the hell out of all of us!)
★ ‘This Is Us’ star Justin Hartley pretended to be Ryan Reynolds for a confused fan. Hartley says that he was at a charity event when a woman started telling him how great he is and how in love with him she is. According to Hartley, he didn’t have the heart to tell her that she had the wrong guy, so for five minutes, he says, “I just pretended like I was the coolest guy on Earth, Ryan Reynolds.”
(Still, if you are handsome enough to be mistaken for Ryan Reynolds, at least you’ve got THAT going for you!)
★ Jennifer Lopez is the new face of Guess.  She has been announced as the new representative for the fashion house, and she says she is ”thrilled and excited” to be joining forces with the ”iconic brand” because she has been a fan of the company ever since she was a teenager.
★ Jim Carrey has opened up about his battle with depression, saying that he has conquered it after many years and is now “sometimes happy”. In a new interview, Carrey revealed that, while he still occasionally has dark periods, it does not “drown” him any longer. Over the last couple of years, Carrey has been in the headlines for the wrong reasons, being sued by the mother and estranged husband of his ex-girlfriend Cathriona White, who committed suicide in 2015.
★ As if Finn Wolfhard couldn’t be any more successful at the age of 14, he can now officially add ‘recording artist’ to his list of already very impressive accomplishments. The ‘Stranger Things’ actor and band frontman has just announced his four-piece indie group ‘Calpurnia’, made up entirely of 14 year-olds, has signed a record deal and are on their way to making it to the big time.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jon Stewart, Woody Harrelson, Tony Bennett, Paul Shaffer ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Billy Crystal, Derek Hough, Les Twins, Jessie Reyez ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Morgan Freeman, Grace Gummer ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mark Wahlberg, Martin McDonagh, Walk the Moon, Nathan Davilmar ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jeff Bridges, David Boreanaz, Liam Gallagher ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. John McCain ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Patricia Heaton, Jensen Ackles, Reba McEntire ( R )
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Eric Stonestreet, Whitney Cummings, Kelsea Ballerini, Brandi Smith ( R )
• “iHeartRadio Music Festival” (CW): Part 2 of 2. Highlights from the 2017 concert. Performers include: Lorde; Miley Cyrus; Big Sean; DJ Khaled. From the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas. Ryan Seacrest hosts.
• “Frosty the Snowman” (CBS): Jimmy Durante narrates the story about the warmhearted man of snow, who risks a meltdown from rising temperatures unless he can get to the North Pole.
• “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (ABC): Fred Astaire and Mickey Rooney are among those who lend their voices to this holiday tale, which explains the legend of Santa Claus and how he began delivering toys to children on Christmas Eve.
• “Grammys Greatest Stories: A 60th Anniversary Special” (CBS): Carrie Underwood and John Legend host an all-encompassing retrospective of epic moments from the past 59 years of Grammy history. Featured performers: Christina Aguilera; Mary J. Blige; Celine Dion; Aretha Franklin; Elton John; Paul McCartney; Ed Sheeran; Bruce Springsteen; Sting; U2; Keith Urban.

• “The Christmas Train” (HALLMARK): A journalist travels by train across the country to get home in time for Christmas, and he chronicles his adventures as he encounters a variety of folks who open his eyes to wondrous possibilities, and one who even opens his heart to love.
• “National Dog Show” (NBC) Celebrates America’s love of man’s best friend and is hosted by award-winning actor, author and Broadway star John O’Hurley (“Seinfeld”, “Dancing with the Stars”).

• “Miss Universe Pageant” (FOX): Contestants from more than 80 countries vie to become Miss Universe.
• “2017 Soul Train Awards” (BET): Erykah Badu will be on hosting duties for the third time, while R&B great Toni Braxton will be given The Legend Award. Keyshia Cole, Method Man, DVSN, Daniel Caesar, Luke James and more are billed to perform.
• “105th Grey Cup” (TSN/ESPN Play): Calgary @ Toronto from TD Place Stadium, Ottawa, ON.  Shania Twain provides halftime entertainment.

• Michael Bublé – will host the 2018 Juno Awards on March 25 in Vancouver.  He was scheduled to host this year’s event, but put his career on hold when his son was diagnosed with cancer.  Buble last hosted the Junos in 2013.
• Queens Of The Stone Age –  have announced details of a huge outdoor gig at Finsbury Park in London.  Iggy Pop and Run The Jewels will open in front of 40,000 fans on June 30th, in an event that promises to be one of the biggest rock shows of the summer.
• Lorde – paid tribute to her ”first crush” David Cassidy following his death.  She uploaded a short video of David playing Keith Partridge performing the song ‘I Woke Up In Love This Morning’.  She accompanied it with the caption: ”My first crush. Bye kid.”
• Sia – the video for her single, “Santa’s Coming for Us” features a star-studded guest list.  It opens with Kristen Bell in black-and-white, and also features Dax Shepard (Bell’s real-life husband), JB Smoove as Santa Claus, Henry Winkler and Susan Lucci as the grandparents, and Caleb McLaughlin (Stranger Things), Sophia Lillis (IT), and Wyatt Oleff (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2) as the children.
• David Bowie – a guitar that he once owned will be auctioned off on Dec. 2 in New York.  The
1989 Gibson L4 Custom will start at $30,000.  Also up for grabs: Guitars once owned by Paul McCartney, Johnny Winter and Madonna (hardly used!)
• “Weird Al” Yankovic – has unveiled a blistering, accordion-tinged cover of the Ramones’ ‘Beat on the Brat’.  The song will appear on the upcoming collection, ‘Dr. Demento Covered in Punk’, which celebrates the career of novelty song maestro, Dr. Demento.
• Gwen Stefani – told Jimmy Fallon that Blake Shelton is very hard to buy for at Christmas. Quote:  “But I think that, because he doesn’t fit in any of my furniture at my house — because he’s too big — I’m like, OK, I’m gonna get you a couch and that’s gonna be your Christmas present. I’m putting it outside so he can [have campfires]. I try to make him feel comfortable in LA.”
• Old Crow Medicine Show – For the eighth year in a row, they will stage their New Year’s Eve celebration at Nashville’s famous Ryman Auditorium. This year, the string group is dedicating one of the two performances to Bob Dylan.
• Travis Tritt – is bringing his solo, acoustic show ‘A Man and His Guitar’ to the CMA Theater at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum on March 3rd.

“Coco” (PG, Animation/Comedy):  Aspiring musician Miguel, confronted with his family’s ancestral ban on music, enters the Land of the Dead to work out the mystery. (Anthony Gonzalez, Gael García Bernal, Benjamin Bratt)
• “Darkest Hour” (PG-13, Drama):  During the early days of World War II, the fate of Western Europe hangs on the newly-appointed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who must decide whether to negotiate with Hitler, or fight on against incredible odds. (Gary Oldman, Lily James, Kristin Scott Thomas, Ben Mendelsohn)
• “Call Me by Your Name: (R-Rated, Drama/Romance):  In Northern Italy in 1983, seventeen year-old Elio begins a relationship with visiting Oliver, his father’s research assistant, with whom he bonds over his emerging sexuality, their Jewish heritage, and the beguiling Italian landscape. (Armie Hammer, Timothée Chalamet, Michael Stuhlbarg)
• “The Man Who Invented Christmas” (PG, Comedy/Drama):  The journey that led to Charles Dickens’ creation of “A Christmas Carol,” a timeless tale that would redefine the holiday. (Dan Stevens, Christopher Plummer, Jonathan Pryce
• “Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story” (Not Rated, Documentary):  The world’s most beautiful woman was also the secret inventor of secure Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, and GPS communications, but her arresting looks stood in the way of her being given the credit she deserved–until now. (Nino Amareno, Charles Amirkhanian, Jeanine Basinger)

It might be too late to change up your Thanksgiving meal plans for this year, but just in case…thanks to the good people who bring you the ‘potato chips that aren’t really potato chips’, you can now try the Thanksgiving meal that isn’t really a meal.  Pringles is offering up all the tastes of a traditional Thanksgiving meal…in potato chip form.  For a limited time, you can get your hands on the Thanksgiving-flavored party set.  A package of chips covering almost every main dish possible, the tray consists of the following flavors: Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Stuffing, Mac & Cheese, Creamed Corn, Green Bean Casserole, Cranberry Sauce, and Pumpkin Pie.  So far, the ‘turkey’ and the ‘mashed potato’ chips are going over best.  Creamed corn?  Not so much.  It comes in a TV dinner-style tray rather than the usual Pringles tube and is only available for a limited time.  Go figure.
(It’s like Thanksgiving dinner without all that nasty nutrition…)
(I’ve heard of meal replacements, but never quite like this!)

If your plan for the weekend usually involves the work ‘chill’, ‘relax’ or heaven forbid, ‘chillax’, then you’d better watch what you’re drinking.  A group of researchers recently dug deep into statistics compiled by the Global Drug Study, which examines the drinking habits of people around the world. Their goal was to examine how different types of alcohol affect people’s emotions, and based on their results, there’s a reason that your buddy sometimes wants to take on the entire bar after a few shots of Jose Cuervo.  Here is what they found:
➢ 50% of participants reported that beer made them feel relaxed.
➢ Liquor was the least likely to be linked to feeling relaxed—only 20% of the participants said they felt more relaxed after drinking it.
➢ 30% of people said liquor made them feel aggression
➢ Almost 60% of participants said liquor made them feel energetic and confident.
➢ And 43% of people associated liquor with feeling sexy.
➢ Only 3% felt that red wine made them feel aggression.
(Liquor makes you feel sexy? Depends.  Is ‘hot mess’ considered sexy these days?)
(Red wine?  Agression?  Only if someone takes it away from her!)


1964 [53] Conleth Hall, Ballycastle, Northern Ireland, TV actor (‘Lord Varys’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2011)

1977 [40] Colin Hanks, Sacramento CA, TV actor (“Life in Pieces” since 2015)/movie actor (“Vacation”)/son of actor Tom Hanks

1978 [39] Katherine Heigl, Washington DC, TV actress (“State of Affairs” 2014-15, “Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-10)/movie actress (“Knocked Up”)

1990 [27] Sarah Hyland, NYC, TV actress (‘Haley Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1955 [62] Bruno Tonioli, Ferrara, Italy, TV personality (ABC-TV “Dancing With the Stars” judge since 2005, BBC-TV “Strictly Come Dancing” judge since 2004)

1960 [57] Amy Grant, Augusta GA, country-pop-gospel singer with 6 Grammy Awards (“Simple Things”, “Baby Baby”) who’s sold over 22 million albums/Mrs Vince Gill since 2000

1971 [46] Christina Applegate, Hollywood CA, movie actress (“Anchorman” movies, “Alvin & The Chipmunks” movies)/TV actress (“Samantha Who?” 2007-09, “Married With Children” 1987-2001 )

1975 [42] Kristian Nairn, Lisburn, Northern Ireland, 6′-10¾” TV actor (‘Hodor’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2011)

1983 [34] Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut, Vallejo CA, competitive eater (currently ranked #1 in the world by the International Federation of Competitive Eating)

Hip hop artist DJ Khaled (featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper and Lil Wayne: ‘I’m the One’ ) is 42; Country singer Joe Nichols (‘Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off’) is 41; Pop singer Natasha Bedingfield (‘Pocketful of Sunshine’) is 36; Pop singer Rita Ora (“How We Do”) is 27.

• “Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day”, saluting the individual abilities each of us has. Okay, so what is it that you can do that no one else can? Whistle through your nose? Play both armpits simultaneously? Recite the alphabet backwards? (***See today’s Phone Starter***)

• “Black Friday”, the day after US Thanksgiving that’s touted as the biggest single shopping day of the year in America though that’s statistically untrue. The ‘black’ refers to retailers finally turning a profit after spending much of the year ‘in the red’.  Many retailers kick off their annual sales on Thursday…or earlier in the week…or month…

• “Buy Nothing Day”, a 24 hour moratorium on holiday shopping (today in North America; tomorrow internationally), created as a protest against outlandish consumption and commercialism, particularly during the holiday season.

• “Flossing Day”, a day that truly has ‘strings attached’.

• “Leftovers Day”, a day to swap all the leftovers lurking in the back of your refrigerator to a friend for the leftovers in theirs.  And then what?

• “Shopping Reminder Day”, marking exactly 1 month until Christmas Day.  Just what you wanted to hear, huh?

• “Small Business Saturday”, an annual reminder to support the little mom & pop operations as well as the big malls and chains during the holiday season buying frenzy.

• “International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women”, initiated by activists in 1981 and adopted by the UN in 1999 to help raise awareness of this worldwide problem.

• “Cake Day”, an annual salute to the classic dessert that’s the climax of many a celebration. What’s the best kind? Angel Food? Black Forest? Red Velvet? Double Chocolate Fudge?

“Good Grief Day”, has nothing to do with the stages of grief. Instead, it has everything to do with a little boy in a yellow shirt who never, ever, manages to kick the football. Good grief, Charlie Brown!

2013 [04] At the “American Music Awards” in Los Angeles, Taylor Swift is named ‘Artist Of the Year’; Rihanna is presented with the first ‘AMA Icon Award’

1991 [26] Queen singer Freddie Mercury dies of AIDS-related complications at 45.

2007 [10] Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea’s $4.8 million home is “burnt to a crisp” in a wildfire that also sweeps through 53 other properties in Malibu CA

2013 [04] Pope Francis displays what are believed to be the bones of St Peter at a mass in St Peter’s Square, the first time the relics have ever been displayed in public


✓ In Spanish, the word “esposas” means both “wives” and “handcuffs.”
✓ In 2011, a woman bought a “non-visible” piece of art for $10,000.
✓ The more features your phone has, the longer you spend in the toilet.
✓ The average speed of Heinz Ketchup squirt is .028 MPH.
✓ In the U.S., there’s an official ‘Rock Paper Scissors League’.
✓ A “butt” was a Medieval unit of measure for wine.

• Dad had to use electric knife to carve you out of your pants.
• You’ve been sweating ham glaze ever since.
• When you plopped onto the couch your spouse flew through the window.
• You’ve been assigned a probation officer … by Weight Watchers.
• Your family sent you outside because you wouldn’t fit in the living room.
• You’re suffering from ‘Dunlap’s Disease’ …  your gut has dunlapped over your belt.
• They had to use the Jaws of Life to remove you from your chair.
• You’ve receive a personalized ‘Thank-you’ text from the president of Butterball.
• GPS now tells local drivers “Turn left at the bloated guy.”
• For the first time ever, there are no leftovers.
• You decide to take a little nap after dinner, and wake up in March.

• During every commercial break, host’s wife mutes the TV and gives a Mary Kay sales pitch.
• The peel ‘n eat shrimp have been unrefrigerated since last season’s Stanley Cup.
• 24 guests, one diet Fresca.
• The onion dip is served in an athletic cup.
• Host tries to convince you the latest hi-tech development is ‘narrow-screen’.
• The only finger food is a tattered pack of lemon-honey Hall’s lozenges.
• They’re holding it Saturday night so everyone can make it.
• Sure, it’s an HD-TV, but you’re watching “The Nature of Things”.
• Somebody has already licked the powdery stuff off the Doritos.
• After every play, some guy jumps up and yells, “Rewind that last ass-smack!”

I miss the good old days when Black Friday actually was on a Friday.

Which city hosted the biggest stadium crowd in Grey Cup history?
a. Vancouver.
b. Montréal. [CORRECT. In 1977, when 68,205 watched the Alouettes thump Edmonton 41-6 at Olympic Stadium. The smallest turnout was in 1940 at Ottawa’s Lansdowne Park … an intimate gathering of 1,700.]
c. Toronto.

☎ What is your unique talent?

Question:  The day after Thanksgiving is the busiest day for this profession.
Answer:  Plumbers

At the dinner table, the only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

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