November 28, 2012

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012        Edition: #4878

Deja Moo!

19-year-old “Two-and-a-Half Men” actor Angus T Jones says the show is full of ‘filth’ and pleads with fans to quit watching in a bizarre new online posting by LA’s Forerunner Christian Church (he received a personal message from God urging him to ‘get it together’, don’t you know) . . . It’s strange Jones wasn’t complaining when he became TV’s highest-paid child star in 2010, earning $300k per episode with a $500k signing bonus (due to his newfound revelation, we’re sure he’ll he giving all the moolah back) . . . 70-year-old actor Tony Sirico, who played ‘Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri’ on “The Sopranos”, has lined up a recurring role as the voice of ‘Vinnie the Dog’ on the animated series “Family Guy” (FOX), and will also sing the theme song alongside creator Seth MacFarlane (dude, have you lost all semblance of class?) . . .  Simon Cowell has become the latest celeb victim of ‘swatting’ as pranksters called 9-1-1 to falsely report he was being held hostage in his Beverly Hills home after being bound & gagged by an intruder (the new form of practical joke that’s just not funny) . . . And “X Factor” judge Demi Lovato has a new pic of 12 little birdies inked on her right arm, thanks to celeb tattooist Kat Von D (she’s now reached a total of 24 tattoos at age 20, all of which will be saggy distortions at age 60).

• “Christmas in Rockefeller Center” (NBC) – The pre-taped 15th annual TV special centered around the 80th lighting of NYC’s giant Christmas tree. Performances by Cee-Lo Green, Il Volo, Mariah Carey, Rod Stewart, Trace Adkins, and Victoria Justice. Bette Midler and Billy Crystal also make appearances. This year’s telecast includes a 1-hour pre-show broadcast.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Alice Cooper (“Old School 1964-74”, out December 4th).
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Neil Young (w/Crazy Horse-“Psychedelic Pill”).
• “Downton Abbey Revisited” (PBS) – Cast interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, and a preview of what the ‘Crawleys’ may face in the next season.
• “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” (Wellington NZ) – World premiere of part 1 of Peter Jackson’s big-budget “Lord Of the Rings” prequel movie at the Embassy Theater. The event features a parade, a 500-m (1,600-ft) red carpet, and bigscreens set up across the city to allow fans to watch. For the occasion, Wellington has officially been re-named ‘The Middle of Middle-Earth’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Wiz Khalifa (“ONIFC”, out December 4th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Walkmen (“Heaven”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – LP (“Into the Wild”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Miguel (“Kaleidoscope Dream”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Aerosmith (“Music From Another Dimension!”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Country music veteran Dolly Parton.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – A seasonal special featuring a compilation of popular holiday-themed sketches.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Blake Shelton (“Cheers, It’s Christmas”).
• “The X Factor” (FOX/CTV2) – Remaining finalists perform; premiere of the video for’s “Scream and Shout”.

• Amy Winehouse – “Amy”, a play based on her life that was to be staged in Copenhagen, Denmark beginning in January, has been canceled after Danish copyright agency Koda withdrew permission to use the late singer’s music.
• Beyoncé – She will star in, direct, and executive produce an HBO documentary about her life and career. The film will mix concert footage with off-stage scenes shot by Beyoncé herself. It’s due to debut February 16th.
• Cee-Lo Green – His new Christmas video “All I Need Is Love” features The Muppets, including Kermit, Piggy, Gonzo, and Fozzie.
• Elton John – The Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party (PAS), a Muslim political entity, is demanding he be barred from performing in Malaysia later this week because he is gay. Homosexuality is illegal in Malaysia, punishable by caning and up to 20 years in prison.
• Kid Rock – He tells “Billboard” he’s planning on re-recording his 11-times Platinum breakthrough album “Devil Without a Cause” to celebrate its 15th anniversary in August 2013.
• Led Zeppelin – Jimmy Page confirms to “Rolling Stone” that the legendary band’s catalogue, which was last remastered 2 decades ago, is being transferred from analogue to digital format for a series of deluxe album reissues.
• Motley Crue – Nikki Sixx is engaged to wed model-girlfriend Courtney Bingham after popping the question on the Caribbean island of St Bart’s. It will be the rocker’s 3rd marriage, as he was previously wed to “Playboy” Playmate Brandi Brandt and “Baywatch” actress Donna D’Errico.
• No Doubt – Gwen Stefani tells “Telegraph” she still feels ‘completely overwhelmed’ by show biz fame at times, and often just wants to ‘go home and eat pizza’.
• Rolling Stones – They’re facing a $320,000-fine after their first 50th anniversary concert in London ran 35 minutes beyond the Sunday night curfew law.

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Adorkability’ – A look which combines chic and geeky quirkiness in equal measure. (Think “New Girl” actress Zooey Deschanel.)
• ‘Faitheist’ – An atheist who respects or accommodates other people’s religious beliefs. (As opposed to someone from virtually any organized religion.)
• ‘Lean Back Experience’ – The relaxed experience of watching entertainment, ie: a TV show, as opposed to using a computer. (Part of the challenge of melding the Internet and TV … making it easy to do in a La-Z-Boy.)

Non-stop circling of a block looking for a parking spot isn’t just a drag for drivers … it’s a drag on cities. UCLA professor Donald Shoup, hailed as the ‘Prophet of Parking’, estimates that one-third of traffic on congested downtown streets involves drivers seeking spots to park. San Francisco is taking aim with a pilot program that prices parking based on demand. Sensors in 7,000 of the city’s parking spaces provide data for mobile apps that alert drivers when spaces open up. Meanwhile, prices around local hot-spots go up at peak times to encourage parking on quieter streets, where prices go down. (London has this right – you pay a stiff fee to drive downtown.)
– “National Geographic”

Syndicated Hollywood columnists Marilyn Beck & Stacy Jenel Smith have just released the results of their 35th annual poll on the ‘Tackiest Celebrities Of the Year’. Some highlights …
• Movie geezer Clint Eastwood – For his endless, embarrassing ad lib monologue to an empty chair at the Republican convention.
• Sorta comedian Joan Rivers – For making a scene in a Costco parking lot because the Burbank CA store refused to carry her nasty book “I Hate Everyone Including Me”.
• Disgraced US generals David Petraeus and John Allen – For taking orders from their ‘privates’.
• Doped cyclist Lance Armstrong – For bald-faced lying while faking the facade of innocence for years.
• Gas-bag billionaire Donald Trump – For ranting that the election was a ‘sham and a travesty’ because his side lost.
• “Twilight” actress Kristen Stewart – Not for cheating on co-star-boyfriend Robert Pattinson but for her acting, which consists of one expression … constipated.
– Condensed from

General Motors has announced it will become the 1st automaker to integrate Apple’s personal assistant ‘Siri’ into its vehicles. New software in Chevrolet Spark and Sonic models early next year will allow Apple users to connect their devices to the MyLink infotainment system, which will enable them to use an ‘Eyes Free’ mode, using just their voice while the device’s screen remains unlit. Users can ask Siri to make hands-free calls, play songs, and compose messages, but not anything that requires the opening of a web page. BMW, Toyota, Mercedes-Benz, Honda, and Audi have also confirmed they’ll be integrating Siri with their electronics systems. (No, this won’t be distracting at all. Like having a ‘Mother-In-Law’ button.)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 44% of women say the most important thing to pack when traveling is some comfy PJs.
• 33% of married people are afraid to ride in the car with their spouses due to their bad driving.
• 25% of us hide all our valuables before hosting a party.
• 19% of us have actually tried caviar.
• 17% of dog owners have let their pet ride in their laps … while driving.
• 14% of men say the main reason they go to the gym is to pick up women. (Ironically, being hit on is the reason most women give for avoiding the gym.)

The vehicle that carried Pope John Paul II during his landmark visit to Ireland in 1979 will soon be available for all your prom, wedding, and bachelor party needs. The so-called ‘Popemobile’, which has sat idle at the Dublin Wax Museum for more than 30 years, will be released onto the streets of Dublin once again after a $78,000-makeover. The newly transformed vehicle will cost $325 per hour and seats 14 people … plus 1 lucky rider who gets to sit in the Pope’s outdoor platform up front. (This will only last until the first drunken fool does a one-and-half gainer face-plant onto the pavement.)

A 1999 Chevy Monte Carlo worth only $600 has set a Chicago record for receiving the most-ever parking violations and accumulating the most parking fines in history. The city says 31-year-old single mom Jennifer Fitzgerald owes a total of $105,761.80. But now Fitzgerald is fighting back with a lawsuit, claiming her ex-boyfriend actually owned the vehicle, but registered it in her name without her knowing. (Now there’s a good one.)

• Sailors once believed that smelling the bad breath of whales caused brain disorders.
• Crocodiles’ jaws are more sensitive than human fingertips.
– BBC Nature


1949 [63] Paul Shaffer, Thunder Bay ON, TV bandleader (“Late Show With David Letterman” since 1993)/Letterman’s sidekick since 1982

1950 [62] Ed Harris, Tenafly NJ, movie actor (“National Treasure: Book of Secrets”, “A History of Violence”)/4 Oscar nominations

1962 [50] Jon Stewart (Leibowitz), NYC, TV personality (10 Emmy Awards-“The Daily Show”  since 1999)

1962 [50] Matt Cameron, San Diego CA, rock drummer (Pearl Jam-“Last Kiss”, Soundgarden-“Black Hole Sun”)

1974 [38] (Allan Pineda Lindo Jr), Angeles City, Philippines, pop musician (Black Eyed Peas-“I Gotta Feeling”, “Where Is the Love?”)

1983 [29] Rostam Batmanglij, Washington DC, indie rock keyboardist (Vampire Weekend-“Cousins”, “A-Punk”)

1983 [29] Tyler Glenn, Temecula CA, rock singer-keyboardist (Neon Trees-“Everybody Talks”, “Animal”)

1984 [28] Trey Songz (Tremaine Neverson), Petersburg VA, singer-songwriter/rapper/producer (“Can’t Be Friends”, f/Nicki Minaj-“Bottoms Up”)

• “Beaver Moon”, the Full Moon of November, so named from the fact that beavers are now actively preparing for Winter. Sometimes referred to as the “Frosty Moon”.

• “Decorate Your Dog Day”, to help your pooch get into the holiday spirit. (Tomorrow is “Get Back At the Master By Leaving a Present in Her Slipper Day”.)

• “French Toast Day”. Either bread dipped in egg and fried … or perhaps a big ol’ glass of Champagne?

2010 [02] Movie actor Leslie Nielsen (“Naked Gun” films, “Scary Movie” films) dies of pneumonia in Fort Lauderdale, Florida at age 84

1974 [38] Appearing in concert for the last time, John Lennon joins Elton John at NYC’s Madison Square Garden to sing “Whatever Gets You Through the Night” and “I Saw Her Standing There”

2001 [11] ‘Queen of Soul’ Aretha Franklin sues a tabloid for $50 million after it claims she has a drinking problem (looking for a little “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”)

1979 [33] 1st NHL goaltender to score a goal (Billy Smith of NY Islanders vs Colorado Rockies)

1985 [27] Errol Bird of Lisbon, Northern Ireland sets world record with 26 hours of continuous yodelling (he’s never invited to a party again)

[Thurs] Electronic Greetings Day
[Thurs] International Day of Solidarity With the Palestinian People
[Fri] “Killing Them Softly” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] 2012 Billboard Women in Music Gala (NYC)
[Fri] Computer Security Day
[Fri] Meth Awareness Day
[Fri] Stay Home Because You’re Well Day


✗ “Got any good games on your office computer system?”
✗ “I’ve got a lunch date … think we could make this quick?”
✗ “Who’s the hot babe in that photo on your desk … your daughter?”
✗ “Say lady, ya got a light?”
✗ “So Big Guy, how hard would I have to work in this popsicle stand anyhow?”

☎ Who starts the most arguments … husbands or wives?” (Married women are more willing to get into an argument than men, according to a University of California at Berkeley study. That’s because most women look forward to getting down to issues, while most men would rather avoid it.)

Of 57 countries recently polled by WIN-Gallup International, which is the most religious?
a. Ghana [CORRECT. 96% of Ghanaians describe themselves as religious. Nigeria ranks 2nd, with 93%.]
b. Italy
c. Saudi Arabia
d. USA
– “Christian Science Monitor”

Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.

Question: According to a new poll, putting kids to bed is the 2nd-most-stressful situation for a mom; and THIS is #1.
Answers: Taking kids grocery shopping.

You may not be totally perfect, but parts of you are excellent.

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