Friday, November 5, 2010        Edition: #4380
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actress-wannabe singer Gwyneth Paltrow (“Country Strong”) is set to sing Cee-Lo’s “F– You” during her upcoming guest shot on “Glee” (FOX), but it will of course it be toned down to “Forget You” instead (start your eye-rolling now) . . . Former “Real World: Boston” star, 39-year-old Sean Duffy, is headed for another house full of strangers – US Congress – after winning an open Wisconsin seat in Tuesday’s election (now he’s part of “Unreal World: Washington”) . . . 32-year-old movie actor Justin Long has suffered a mild concussion in a minor LA car accident but a rep says he’s fine now (except, like us, he now can’t remember what he’s famous for – Apple ads, no?) . . . Actor Kiefer Sutherland (“24”) is headed for NYC to star in a Broadway revival of the Tony Award-winning play “That Championship Season”, alongside Liev Schreiber & Brian Cox (opens February) . . . Charlie Sheen is destined for more embarrassment as the new issue of “Life & Style” has photos of him partying in Belize just a week after leaving court-mandated rehab (oops!) . . . Meantime, the ratings for “Two-and-a-Half Men” (CBS) have increased in spite of Sheen’s recent troubles (imagine if he overdoses – it’ll hit #1!) . . . NBC-TV has committed to at least a pilot episode of an autobiographical comedy based on comedian/E! TV host Chelsea Handler’s life in her 20s, titled after one of her books, “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea” (snappy, huh?) . . . And both Miley Cyrus’ mom Tish Cyrus & rocker Bret Michaels are now denying those recent affair rumors, suggesting they’re just the result of ‘someone stirring the pot’ (oh good, we can finally delete that horrific mental picture).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC) – Sunday country stars Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, and Leann Rimes help restore a flood-damaged school in Antioch, Tennessee.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Rod Stewart (“Fly Me To the Moon: The Great American Songbook Volume V”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Two Door Cinema Club (“Tourist History”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Elvis Costello (“National Ransom”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Tonight Good Charlotte (“Cardiology”).
• “MTV Europe Music Awards” (MTV) – Sunday Eva Longoria (“Desperate Housewives”) hosts live from Madrid, Spain as international recording artists are honored. Lady Gaga and Katy Perry lead nominations with 5 apiece. Other performers include BoB, Ke$ha, Kid Rock, Kings of Leon, Linkin Park, Miley Cyrus, and Shakira. Bon Jovi is presented with the ‘Global Icon Award’.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Jane Lynch (“Glee”); musical guest Bruno Mars (“Doo-Wops & Hooligans”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Huey Lewis (“Soulsville”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Jason Aldean (“My Kinda Party”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Katy Perry – She tells “Harper’s Bazaar” that she wanted to have a breast reduction when she was a teenager. (A few million male fans are glad she changed her mind.)
• Lady Gaga – A member of her touring crew says she believes she’s being followed everywhere by an annoying spirit named ‘Ryan’. (Not Seacrest … that’s another annoyance.)
• Michael Jackson – A Cirque du Soleil show entitled “Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour” will kick off in Fall 2011 in Canada then travel across America. The partnership between Cirque & the MJ Estate will end up as a residency at the MGM Mirage in Vegas by late 2012.
• Rascal Flatts – Sunday they’re among the new inductees to be enshrined on the Music City Walk of Fame, with a commemorative sidewalk marker in Hall of Fame Park in Nashville TN.
• Taylor Swift – She’s inked a deal to release her own fragrance line via Elizabeth Arden, the first scent due in Fall 2011.
• Terri Clark – Sunday she’s among performers at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville TN paying tribute to the 50th anniversary of the legendary Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge. The famous honky-tonk is located across the alley from the former home of the Grand Ole Opry.
• Trace Adkins – Today he performs a free USO concert at Fort Benning, Alabama to welcome home more than 4,500 soldiers who just completed a year-long deployment in Iraq.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Due Date” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Robert Downey Jr plays an expectant father racing across the country to be home in time for his child’s birth, but his meticulous plans are hampered by an oddball man-child (Zach Galifianakis). Co-stars Michelle Monaghan, Juliette Lewis, Jamie Foxx. Directed by Todd Phillips (“The Hangover”).
NET: http://duedatemovie.warnerbros.com
• “Fair Game” ( PG-13 Bio-Drama ): Based on real-life events. While investigating the existence of Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, CIA operative Valerie Plame (played by Naomi Watts) discovers her identity has been allegedly leaked by the government as payback for an op-ed article her husband (Sean Penn) wrote criticizing the Bush administration.
NET: http://www.fairgame-movie.com
• “For Colored Girls” ( R-Rated Drama ): Director Tyler Perry’s adaptation of Ntozake Shange’s stage play centers on a group of black women whose lives and experiences intersect at a 12-step healing program. Stars Janet Jackson, Anika Noni Rose, Whoopi Goldberg. Mariah Carey dropped out of the project, sparking rumors that she was pregnant. And now we know!
NET: http://bit.ly/dx2Y2l
• “Megamind” ( PG Animated Comedy ): The uber-evil ‘Megamind’ (voiced by Will Ferrell) has been repeatedly defeated by the high-flying ‘Metro Man’ (Brad Pitt) and his reporter-girlfriend (Tina Fey). But what happens when the super-villain actually manages to vanquish his enemy? He realizes that without good, it’s no fun being evil. Directed by Tom McGrath (“Madagascar”).
NET: http://www.megamind.com
• “127 Hours” ( R-Rated Adventure Drama ): James Franco plays a mountain climber who becomes trapped under a boulder while canyoneering alone in Utah and resorts to desperate measures in order to survive. Co-stars Amber Tamblyn, Kate Mara. Directed by Danny Boyle (“Slumdog Millionaire”).
NET: http://www.foxsearchlight.com/127hours

FRITTERING AWAY BOUNTY:
How much food does your family waste? A lot, if you are typical. By most estimates, one-quarter to one-half of all food produced in the United States goes uneaten – left in fields, spoiled in transport, thrown out at the grocery store, scraped into the garbage, or forgotten until it spoils. A recent study shows that 40% of food waste occurs in the home; and a survey by Cornell University has found that 93% of respondents admit to buying food that they never use.
– “New York Times”

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• Sweden – A grandfather who went to pick up his granddaughter from a nursery school in Varberga ended up taking the wrong child. He didn’t realize the 3-year-old wasn’t the little girl he was supposed to collect until he got home. Neither he nor the child is any worse off for the experience, but the nursery is now looking to upgrade its security procedures.
– “Times of London”
• Spain – A Romanian Gypsy woman whose 10-year-old daughter just gave birth says she’s delighted to have a new granddaughter and doesn’t understand why the birth has shocked anyone. The baby’s father is a 13-year-old who is still in Romania and is no longer going out with the new mom, so the new family will remain in Spain.
– AP
• Canada – The dairy-farming Martin family from Elmira, Ontario think happier cows produce more milk. That’s why they’ve built a new $1-million barn featuring cow comforts that include
mattresses, automated curtains, and automatic back-scratchers. They’re hoping the luxuries help boost milk production from each of their 90 cows to an average 8.5 gallons per day.
– “Toronto Star”

TIME PASSAGES:
Observation of Daylight Saving Time differs from country-to-country. Japan hasn’t participated other than for a brief period from 1948-52 when it was enforced by occupying US troops who thought Japanese clocks should match American clocks … 13 time zones away. China also avoids time changes. In fact, the entire country is set to Beijing time, meaning that in different regions 9 am can range from pre-dawn darkness to mid-afternoon sun. Nepal, meanwhile, uses time changes as a political statement. To assert its independence, the country put itself on the quarter-hour. That means that if it’s noon in Ottawa or Washington, it’s 9:45 pm in Nepal.
– “Washington Post”

FOR THE RECORD:
• A pair of 100-year-old Welsh sisters are being recognized as ‘World’s Oldest Twins’ by “Guinness World Records”. Ena Pugh & Lily Millward of Brecon, Wales still meet for weekly shopping trips on Fridays. They say they remain young by ‘having a joke with each other’.
– UPI.com
• ‘Gurning’ is a competitive sport in Britain that consists of contorting one’s face in ugly poses. 63-year-old Anne Woods, who’s been the gurning champ at the Egremont Crab Fair in Cumbria for 27 years, will now get a special mention in “Guinness World Records” as … ‘World’s Ugliest Woman’.
NET: http://bit.ly/9ZKZxE
– “North News”

BS AMAZING FACT:
For a brief time this week the Australian dollar was the highest-valued dollar in the world for the first time since July 1982. The Aussie buck achieved parity and then moved very slightly above the US dollar, which in turn is trading slightly above the Canadian dollar.
– “Christian Science Monitor”

BS CHRONOMETER 11.05.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [69] Art Garfunkel, Forest Hills NY, oldies singer (Simon & Garfunkel-“Bridge Over Troubled Water”, “I Am a Rock”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1959 [51] Bryan Adams, Kingston ON, oldies singer (Grammy Award-“[Everything I Do] I Do It For You”, “Cuts Like a Knife”)/professional photographer

1960 [50] Tilda Swinton, London UK, movie actress (“Burn After Reading”, 2007 Oscar-“Michael Clayton”)

1961 [49] David Bryson, San Francisco CA, alt-rock guitarist (Counting Crows-“Accidentally in Love”, “Mr Jones”)

1971 [39] Jonny Greenwood, Oxford UK, rock musician (Radiohead-“Bodysnatchers”, “Creep”)

1974 [36] Ryan Adams, Jacksonville NC, alt-country/rock singer/songwriter/guitarist (“So Alive”, New York, New York”)/wed to singer-actress Mandy Moore in 2009

1987 [23] Kevin Jonas, Teaneck NJ, boy-band singer/guitarist (Jonas Brothers-“Burnin’ Up”)/TV personality (“Camp Rock”, “Jonas Brothers: Living the Dream”)

SATURDAY –
TV/movie actress Sally Field (“Brothers & Sisters”) is 64; Classic rock singer Glenn Frey (The Eagles) is 62; Journalist Maria Shriver (Mrs Arnold Schwarzenegger) is 55; Movie actor Ethan Hawke (“Brooklyn’s Finest”) is 40; Movie actress Thandie Newton (“RocknRolla”) is 38; Model/actress Rebecca Romijn (“X-Men”) is 38; Movie actress Emma Stone (”Superbad”) is 22.

SUNDAY –
Evangelist Billy Graham is 92; Oldies singer Johnny Rivers (“Poor Side of Town”) is 68; Pop-folk singer Joni Mitchell (“Big Yellow Taxi”) is 67; Rock guitarist Zach Myers (Shinedown) is 27.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Diwali” (or “Deepavali”), a significant 5-day festival in Hinduism and Sikhism as well as an official holiday in India. The end of harvest ‘Festival of Lights’ is an occasion to light diyas (cotton-string wicks in small clay pots of oil), burst crackers, and eat sweets.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/yg5vnl7
• “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752. It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings. One of the day’s traditions gives it its nickname … ‘Bonfire Night’.
• “Royal Winter Fair” through November 14th, the 88th annual indoor agricultural, horticultural, canine, and equestrian exhibition at Toronto’s CNE grounds. This year’s entertainment includes Three Days Grace on Saturday.
NET: http://www.royalfair.org
• “World Championship Punkin Chunkin”, a 3-day pumpkin-throwing contest held annually on the 1st weekend after Halloween in Sussex County, Delaware. Competing teams use a variety of pumpkin-launching devices, including catapults, centrifugal machines, and pneumatic cannons. The current overall distance record is 4,483.51 feet (1.36 km), set in 2008.
NET: http://www.punkinchunkin.com/records.htm

SATURDAY –
• “International Day for Preventing the Exploitation Of the Environment in War & Armed Conflict”, a UN observance since 2001. (Kill people, not flowers!)
NET: http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/environment_war/index.html
• “International Men’s Day”, observed on the 1st Saturday of November since 1999. It was initially suggested by former Russian leader Mikhail Gorbachev as a day of global celebration of the social contributions of men, including those to community, family, marriage, and childcare.
• “Saxophone Day”, commemorating the 1814 birth of Belgium’s Adolphe Sax, inventor of the musical instrument named for him. Sax became wealthy inventing numerous musical instruments, but died in poverty in Paris in 1894.

SUNDAY –
• “Daylight Saving Time” in North America officially ends at 2 am. Remember: Spring forward, Fall back. Set your clock back an hour (it’s a long weekend!), then get ready for dim & dark Winter mornings.
• “Digital Scrapbooking Day”, the 4th annual day of recognition for the computer-based hobby, because if there’s anything that will make decorating family mementoes nobody cares about with frilly bows & crazy captions more exciting it’s … doing it online!
NET: http://scrapbooking.com
• “International Tongue Twister Day”, a celebration of all those famously formidable phrases that are so strenuous to say. Think you’re an ace? Try some in other languages here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/2ugdza
• “New York City Marathon”, one of the most prestigious annual runs. Participating this year is Edison Pena, one of the Chilean miners trapped for 69 days, who was known to the media as ‘The Runner’ because he ran long distances underground to keep fit.
NET: http://www.nycmarathon.org
• “PMS Stress Day”, originally founded in 1995. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If not, get the hell out of the way!
• “Zero Tasking Day”, always the same day that Daylight Savings Time ends, a day to do absolutely squat with the extra 60 minutes you put on the clock because the real gift for this day is not feeling like you have to do something worthwhile with that ‘extra hour’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [07] “The Matrix Revolutions” (3rd in the trilogy) opens at the exact same moment worldwide, the first-ever simultaneous global movie release

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1988 [22] Beach Boys hit #1 with the single “Kokomo”, the longest gap between #1 hits by a recording artist (21 years, 10 months since “Good Vibrations”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1923 [87] 1st ‘Electric Shaver’ patented (and 1st guy suffers excruciating pain when a nose hair gets caught)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [16] 45-year-old George Foreman becomes ‘Oldest Heavyweight Boxing Champion’ by KO-ing Michael Moorer (who will never live down the humiliation)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] “Conan O’Brien Show” debuts (TBS/CTV)
[Mon] Abet & Aid Punsters Day
[Mon] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Tues] Videogame “Karaoke Revolution Glee” released
[Wed] 44th “CMA Awards” (Nashville TN)
[Wed] “Morning Glory” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … Military Family Appreciation Month
This Month Is … Lung Cancer Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

Seems someone always asks how we’ll spend the extra hour we get this weekend, thanks to turning the clocks back to Standard Time. A few ideas for …
BS THINGS TO DO WITH THE EXTRA HOUR:
• Knock back a few dozen espressos and chase squirrels around the yard.
• Order a pizza precisely at 2 am, have it delivered by 1:30 am.
• Enjoy the “Dick Clark Rockin’ Daylight Savings” TV special.
• Get caught up on your refrigerator-repair correspondence course.
• Write another cranky letter to CBC begging them to bring back “Red Green”.
• Write another cranky letter to Comedy Central begging them to bring back “That’s My Bush!”.
• Same thing you do every year … forget. Then frantically think up goofy excuses for why you’re an hour early for church.
• Take time to stop, sit back, and really contemplate how much the Cowboys suck.
• Let’s see, change batteries in the smoke detectors, change all clocks in the house including coffee maker, microwave & other appliances, change cellphone … uh, what extra hour?

BS PHONE STARTER:
The controversial line of dialogue in Ron Howard’s new movie, “The Dilemma”, is ‘Electric cars are gay’.  That attempt at humor has many up in arms. Should we ban words anytime someone feels disrespected, or focus on educating those who use specific words with negative intent?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Sure, everyone wants to save the whales, but not one voice is raised on behalf of the plankton!

BS WATERCOOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Since 2006, sales of THIS food have risen by 25%.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Mac & cheese.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Unwritten laws can not be erased.