Thursday, October 27, 2005        Edition: #3146
The Sheet Hits the Fans!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the $5-million exhibit, “Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination”, opens at Boston’s Museum of Science in the first public showing of props & costumes from all 6 “Star Wars” films (includes a full-scale replica of the cockpit of ‘Han Solo’s’ ‘Millennium Falcon’) . . . TONIGHT a Cooper-Owen auction at Madame Tussauds in London features a mess of music memorabilia, including props from The Beatles’ “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album cover, Madonna’s personal diary, the first Rolling Stones recording contract, and original Michael Jackson lyrics (from his hurricane relief song that’ll never get recorded?) . . . TONIGHT Alison Krauss & Ricky Skaggs host the “International Bluegrass Music Association Awards” at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville TN . . . CBS-TV has announced it will air its 4-hour miniseries “John Paul II” (starring Cary Elwes/Jon Voight in a young pope/old pope one-two punch) over 2 nights in the first week of DECEMBER . . . NBC-TV has signed up “Meet the Parents/Meet the Fockers” writer Jim Herzfeld to develop a sit-com based on his experiences working at a Los Angeles country club (he could call it … oh … maybe “Caddyshack”?) . . . ABC-TV has picked up a pitch for a ‘reality TV parody’ called “America’s Next Muppet”, in which viewers may actually get the chance to choose a new felt star (‘Liver Monster’?) . . . FOX-TV has acquired the rights to develop the best-selling sci-fi video game “Destroy All Humans!” into a half-hour CGI-animated comedy along the lines of “King of the Hill” . . . And reports from Lotusland say Rod Stewart’s leggy daughter Kimberly has been spotted swapping spit with pop singer Ryan Cabrera in several Hollywood hot-spots (even ‘Gil Grissom’ would have trouble keeping track of this guy’s saliva trail!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• CS&N – TONIGHT geezer rocker Stephen Stills is on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Hilary Duff – She tells “OK!” magazine that turning 18 doesn’t mean she’ll be getting tattoos like her Good Charlotte boyfriend Joel Madden because she’d get bored looking at the same thing all the time.
• Madonna – Filmmaker Michael Moore offered to direct her documentary, “I’m Going To Tell You a Secret”, but he was editing “Fahrenheit 9/11″ at the time and asked her to delay it. She said no.
• Mariah Carey – Word has it she demands that hotels where she stays install new toilet seats that have never been touched by a single butt cheek.
• Sean Paul – TONIGHT he does “Last Call With Carson Day” on NBC-TV.
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT he’ll be inducted into the “Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame” during a concert/induction ceremony in Muskogee OK.

MOVIES IN THE WORKS:
Acclaimed “Amelie” director Jean-Pierre Jeunet has been tapped to direct the movie version of  Montréaler Yann Martel’s award-winning novel, “Life of Pi”, taking over for M Night Shyamalan . . . The upcoming comedy, “Fred Claus”, tells the story of the jealous older brother of ‘Santa’, who must put his bitterness aside when he’s forced to move in at the North Pole (no star yet attached – Will Ferrell?) . . . The new Weinstein Co has aggressively bought the movie rights to the novel “Kung Fu High School”  by Ryan Gattis, giving the author a 7-figure payday . . . And director Uwe Boll has signed a deal to turn the gore-fest video game, “Postal”, into a gore-fest movie.

AND THE BEST FITNESS MACHINE IS …
Researchers at the Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee have compared the calorie-burning capabilities of 6 indoor fitness machines, and the one that consistently comes out on top is – the treadmill. It chews up about 40% more calories than the stationary bike, which ranks last. The stair machine is 2nd-best, followed by the rowing machine, cross-country ski machine, and the Airdyne Exerciser. (Funny, don’t see the Barcalounger listed here …)
– “Chicago Sun-Times”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 63% of us admit to swearing in public at least one freakin’ time.
• 60% of those who call in sick for work really aren’t. Surprised?
• 52% of women say they would rather shop than make love. (Apparently it takes up more time.)
• 52% of college co-eds claim they have ‘made out’ with another woman.
• 22% of men consider themselves ‘good looking’.
• 21% of adults have been at a party where underage kids were drinking alcohol. (Likely back when they were in high school.)

THIN CHANCE YOU’RE GETTING A JOB:
A survey of 2,000 personnel officers finds that most prefer to offer jobs to workers of a ‘normal weight’. Fully half of those polled think ‘obesity affects productivity’. A similar number believe overweight people ‘lack self-discipline’. Researchers suggest this shows ‘hidden discrimination’ that’s not yet gained the same visibility as gender, age, disability or race discrimination. (Actually, it’s more of a fat chance you’re getting a job.)
– “Personnel Today”

THE OLD GUY IN THE LA-Z-BOY:
According to consumer-research group Scarborough USA, the median age of spectators for the 4 major pro sports leagues (MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL) is 42 … that’s 7 years OLDER than the median age of all Americans.
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”

DID YOU KNOW?
Gold is still accepted by all nations as a medium of international payment.

CRYING MALES ARE ATTRACTIVE TO FEMALES!
Crying males attract females – at least if they’re mice. According to Japanese researchers, that’s because male mice release pheromones in the fluid that moistens their eyes. So what about humans? Nope, doesn’t work. In general, women don’t like men who are cry babies – they don’t conform to the macho male stereotype.
– ANI

FAMILY-FRIENDLY HALLOWEEN MOVIES:
• “Beetlejuice”
• “Casper”
• “Clifford’s Big Halloween”
• “Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban”
• “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
• “Monsters, Inc”
• “The Nightmare Before Christmas”
• “Rugrats Halloween”
• “SpongeBob SquarePants: Halloween”
• “The Witches”
– “Reader’s Digest”

REVENGE IS SWEET:
We may finally have learned why women live longer than men. Researchers at the University of Liverpool have discovered a bizarre correlation between violence against women and the shorter life expectancy of men worldwide. The study finds that the average lifespan of men is directly proportional to the number of female murders in each country. The higher the rate of murder against women, the earlier men die. (Aha, justice!)
– “Health Day”

2005’S TOP RETAIL HALLOWEEN COSTUMES:
5. ‘Harry Potter’
4. ‘Fantastic Four’
3. ‘Corpse Bride’
2. ‘Batman’
1. ‘Darth Vader’
– PR Web
PHONER: 214-823-2111  (William Baker, Halloween Costumes Co, Dallas TX)

AND WE QUOTE:
“The whole thing is a cluster (bleep).”
– The manager for one singer who wishes to remain anonymous, describing the messed-up plans for recording Michael Jackson’s hurricane relief record “From the Bottom of My Heart”. That unnamed singer (and apparently most others) have decided to skip the session.

THE BULL SHEET 10.27.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [66] John Cleese, Weston-Super-Mare UK, movie actor (“Shrek 2″, ‘Q’-‘James Bond’ films)/former TV actor (“Monty Python”, “Fawlty Towers”)

1958 [47] Simon LeBon, Bushey UK, classic rock singer (Duran Duran-“Hungry Like the Wolf”, “The Reflex”)

1967 [38] Scott Weiland, Santa Cruz CA, rock singer (Velvet Revolver-“Fall to Pieces”, Stone Temple Pilots-“Plush”)/rehab veteran

1984 [21] Kelly Osbourne, London UK, TV personality (“Life As We Know It”, “The Osbournes” 2002-04)/pseudo-’singer’ (“Papa Don’t Preach”)/daughter of Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[US] Navy Day (1922)

TODAY is “Cranky Co-Workers Day”, in honor of all the complaining and just plain cranky people you work with and have to endure all year. This is the day to let them go with it and enjoy their misery!

TODAY is “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, in honor of Teddy Roosevelt’s birthday (1858), namesake of the ‘Teddy Bear’. Ask listeners what animals they have saved from their childhood, where they keep them … and what they do with them.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [10] Gloria Estefan becomes only pop artist to receive a call from the Pope to perform

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1901 [104] 1st ‘Boxer Shorts’ introduced (and the argument begins … boxers or briefs?)

1904 [101] NYC ‘Subway’ 1st opens (and the fare is set at 1 nickel)

1991 [14] 1st ‘Planet Hollywood’ restaurant officially opens (owners Bruce Willis & Arnold Schwarzenneger do the honors)

1998 [07] Conrad Black launches new national newspaper, “The National Post”(now owned by CanWest Global)

NEW WORDS COINED ON THIS DAY . . .
1906 [99] ‘Jazz’ – “Variety” magazine prints the first article on the new music form.

1938 [67] ‘Nylon’ – DuPont Corp announces the name for its new synthetic yarn.

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] National Chocolate Day
[Sat] International Internet Day
[Sun] Devils Night/Mischief Night
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time ends (2 am)
[Mon] Halloween
This Week is . . . Magic Week
This Month Is . . . Communicate With Your Kid Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS COMPLAINTS OF MODERN-DAY VAMPIRES:
• Fat-free blood tastes like crap.
• Football players with no neck.
• Stuck with a bad rep because people keep getting us mixed up with ‘umpires’.
• That dumb idea of extending Daylight Saving Time.
• Thanks to all the hickeys, keep mistaking Paris Hilton for an ‘empty’.
• No warm blood for miles around Ottawa.
• Sick & tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.
• Nasty scab breath.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Have you heard? Len Dresslar has died at age 70. What was his biggest claim to fame?
a. Playing “Tugboat Annie” in movies before the sex change when he was Marie Dressler.
b. Dressing up as the original ‘Ronald McDonald’.
c. Being the voice of the ‘Jolly Green Giant’ in TV ads. [CORRECT. Ho ho ho!]

BS SCARY MOVIE QUIZ:
1. Name a horror thriller released in 2005 that was a remake of a previous film of the same name. [Several to pick from: “The Amityville Horror (1979), “House of Wax” (1953), and “The Fog” (1980). “The Ring Two”, “Land of the Dead”, and “Saw II” (opening TOMORROW) are technically sequels, not remakes.]
2. THIS YEAR rocker Rob Zombie wrote & directed a sequel to his 2003 screamer “House of 1,000 Corpses”. What was it called? [“The Devil’s Rejects”.]
3. What actress starred in both the 1st film in the “Halloween” series and a sequel 20 years later? [Jamie Lee Curtis was in the 1978 original and in 1998’s “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later”.]
4. After what famous painting are the scary masks in the “Scream” series based? [“The Scream” by Edvard Munch, which is currently missing after being stolen from the Oslo Museum.]
5. THIS YEAR Kate Hudson made her ‘bones’ in the horror film genre, playing a young woman who cares for an invalid in what film? [“The Skeleton Key”]
6. What was used as blood in the shower scene of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic “Psycho”, cited by many as the best horror film of all-time? [Chocolate syrup. The movie was in black & white.]
7. Props from Wes Craven’s earlier film “A Nightmare On Elm Street” (1984) can be seen in the background of the first scene of this chiller which he released THIS YEAR. [“Cursed”]
8. Which film actor has played the role of ‘Dracula’ more than any other? [Christopher Lee]
9. In the 2005 horror thriller “Dark Water”, a mother & her young daughter move into a creepy apartment that’s suffering from perpetual leaks. What actress plays the mom, ‘Dahlia Williams’?
[Jennifer Connelly.]
10. What truly scary actress appeared in both horror film sequels “Scream 2″ and “Scary Movie 2″? [Tori Spelling]
– “Box Office Mojo” / Internet Movie DataBase / “E! Online”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Only 1 in 3 of us use THIS every day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Dental floss.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
An acquaintance is someone you know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.