Wednesday, October 5, 2005        Edition: #3130
Now With More Bull, Less Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT is the 3rd-season premiere of the WB’s “One Tree Hill”, meaning co-stars Chad Michael Murray & Sophia Bush will have to fake it on the small-screen even though their real-life marriage has just broken up after 5 months . . . 19-year-old show biz veterans Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen have just signed 13-year-old twins Cole & Dylan Sprouse with their Dualstar Entertainment Group in a deal that will include lines of clothing and sporting goods, plus an original DVD series (e-gad, it’s the new twins on the block) . . . 68-year-old actress Jane Fonda (“Monster-in-Law”) is undergoing treatment for hip & back problems in a Paris, France hospital, causing her to miss the premiere of a documentary about her former husband, filmmaker Roger Vadim . . . Here’s why JK Rowling is now among the world’s wealthiest woman – latest sales stats show more than 300 million copies of “Harry Potter” books have now been sold worldwide in 63 different languages . . . Oops! SUNDAY the local TV cable company accidentally aired “Desperate Housewives” in Spanish to 175,000 customers in the Los Angeles area, so now they’ll re-broadcast the episode this SATURDAY (in Swahili) . . . More celebs being cruel by giving babes odd names – Kevin James  (“King of Queens “) naming his new daughter ‘Sienna-Marie James’; actor Nicolas Cage calling his new son ‘Kal-el Coppola Cage’ (“Superman’s” Kryptonian name ‘Kal-El’ means ‘Star Child’) . . . Brit actor Hugh Grant (“Bridget Jones”) says he looks like a ‘butch lesbian’ with his hair cut short (thereby attracting even more women) . . . The new US edition of “OK!” magazine has offered Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore $3 million for exclusive rights to photos of their secret wedding, and also a similar deal to Britney Spears & Kevin Federline for the first official pics of their new son Sean . . . And boybander-turned-‘serious actor’ Justin Timberlake has reportedly launched a multi-million-dollar bid to buy Elvis Presley’s former recording studio in Memphis TN along with the legendary soul label Stax as part of a plan to set up a new state-of-the-art recording studio in his hometown.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
•  Beyoncé – In the new “Vanity Fair”, she denies rumors that she’s already secretly married to music mogul Jay-Z. In fact, she says they’re not even engaged. She also reveals that she’s given her sexy stage alter-ego a name to keep it separate – ‘Sasha’.
• Britney Spears – She’s holding a veritable garage sale on eBay, auctioning clothing, furniture & jewelry to raise money for the Mississippi Hurricane Recovery Fund. Here’s your chance to play with her teddy bear, kick off her flip-flops, wear her white stone bra, and get into her blue-and-pink jeans.
• Liz Phair – TODAY she’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Lee Ann Womack – TODAY she guests on ABC-TV’s “The View”.
• Madonna – After developing a taste for Timothy Taylor’s Landlord Ale at the Dog & Duck pub in London, she now has it delivered to her country estate … in 72-pint barrels! An ale barrel is called a ‘firkin’, as in “Give me another firkin ale!”
• Nickelback – TONIGHT they play the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Pearl Jam – TONIGHT they perform a rare club show at Chicago’s House of Blues to raise money for hurricane relief. Tickets are going for $1,000 a pop.
• Sean Paul – TONIGHT he does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC-TV.
• Trick Pony – They decided the title of their new album “RIDE” should be an acronym for something. The band rejected several goofy ideas before settling on “Rebellious Individuals Delivering Entertainment”.

LAPTOP FOR A C-NOTE:
Massachusetts Institute of Technology researchers are working to develop a $100 laptop computer for kids in Third World countries. The machines will have some unique features: an AC adapter that doubles as a carrying strap; a hand crank to power them up when there’s no electricity; a display that shifts from color to glare-resistant black & white for outdoor use; and a tough rubber casing to make them virtually indestructible. MIT Media Lab leader Nicholas Negroponte hatched the $100 laptop idea after visiting students in Cambodia. Within a year, he expects his nonprofit ‘One Laptop Per Child’ initiative to produce up to 15 million of the machines for delivery to Brazil, China, Egypt, Thailand, and South Africa.
NET: http://laptop.media.mit.edu
– AP

BS SIGNS YOU’RE IN A DEAD-END JOB:
• Looming Dread: Do you dread getting up in the morning to face another day of work?
• Is That All There Is? Do you find you lack a general interest in your job?
• Alienation: Do you no longer feel like interacting with co-workers?
• Overload: When people leave your company, are remaining employees expected to pick up the slack and work 2 jobs for the price of one?
• Unsung Hero: Do your extra hours and effort go unrecognized and unrewarded?
• Out of the Loop: Has a change in management left you out in the cold?
• Temper, Temper: Do you find minor challenges at work & home ticking you off more often?
Professional career counselor Sander Marcus says that if you answer ‘yes’ to 5 or more of these symptoms, your job is definitely at a dead end and you’re at risk of developing ‘career depression syndrome’.
NET: http://www.careermotiv8.com
– Netscape Careers

USING SOUNDS TO GET A SOUND SLEEP:
The reason sound interrupts your sleep isn’t loudness but suddenness, ie: a honking horn or a cat fight outside your window. Dr David Neubauer, associate director of the Johns Hopkins Sleep Disorders Center in Baltimore MD, suggests using ‘white noise’ (‘background noise’) to block sudden outside noises. A constant stream of recognizable sounds, such as ocean waves or falling rain, can help keep sudden noises from waking you up. If you don’t want to invest in a special ‘sound machine’, try a fan, window air conditioner, or anything else that drones on continuously. Some people also find the steady sound of music or talk radio calming when first falling asleep at night, but it’s important to have a timer shut it off so it doesn’t wake you later, during lighter phases of sleep.
– “Real Simple”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Thanks to the rise in the cost of gasoline, sales of large SUVs slumped by 50% LAST MONTH in Canada.
– “Globe & Mail”
• There are at least 125 million living twins and triplets in the world.
– “London Observer”

BETTING ON A NOBEL:
Music icons Bob Geldof (“Live 8″) and Bono (U2) are among bookmakers’ top tips to win the $1.3 million “Nobel Peace Prize” this FRIDAY, alongside more orthodox candidates. A total of 199 potential winners have been nominated for the 2005 award, which can be split up to 3 ways. Geldof and Bono have risen from 66-1 odds to now be jointly ranked as 3rd-favorites at odds of 7-1.
– “Billboard”

THE GENESIS OF SPUDS:
Where did potatoes originate? Don’t know the answer? No one did, until recently. In fact,  there’s long been a controversy about their origin. But a new University of Wisconsin-Madison study reveals that the cultivated potato, an international dietary staple, originated in – tada! – Peru. (What? Not PEI?)
– “Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences”

THE BULL SHEET 10.05.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [62] Steve Miller, Milwaukee WI, classic rock singer/guitarist (“Fly Like an Eagle”)

1947 [58] Brian Johnson, Newcastle UK, rock singer (AC/DC-“Moneytalks”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1954 [51] Sir Bob Geldof, Dublin, Ireland, social activist (“Live 8″, “Live Aid”, Band Aid-“Do They Know It’s Christmas”)/former rock singer (Boomtown Rats-“I Don’t Like Mondays”)

1958 [47] Bernie Mac (Bernard McCullough), Chicago IL, TV actor (“The Bernie Mac Show” since 2001)/movie actor (“Ocean’s 11″)
 
1965 [40] Mario Lemieux, Montréal QC, NHL player/owner (2004 World Cup of Hockey, 2002 Olympic gold, 2 Stanley Cups-Pittsburgh Penguins)

1975 [30] Kate Winslet, Reading UK, movie actress (“Titanic”)

1978 [27] James Valentine, Lincoln NE, pop musician (Maroon 5-“This Love”)

1980 [25] Paul Thomas, Waldorf MD, pop musician (Good Charlotte–“Girls & Boys”)

1983 [22] Nikki Hilton, NYC, idle rich girl who turned down the co-starring role in “The Simple Life” with older sister Paris/briefly wed to businessman Todd Meister … for about a day

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Apple Betty Day”, honoring the dessert aka “Apple Brown Betty”, “Apple Crisp”, “Apple Crumble” or “Apple Cobbler”. Whatever you call it … nummers!

TODAY is the 6th annual “Techies Day”, to heighten the profile of IT careers and show appreciation for technology professionals.
BS SIGNS YOU’RE A TOTAL GEEK:
• In your little black book, you list the girls you know in order by IP address … both of them.
• You can type faster than you can speak.
• When your shrink says “Mother …”, you say “… Board.”
• Someday you hope to name your kids after your favorite fonts.
• That’s not from sunning on vacation, that’s monitor tan.
• You’ve got Wi-Fi in your pants!

TODAY is “World Teachers Day”, begun by UNESCO in 1994 as recognition for the vital contribution teachers make to education and development. Over 100 countries observe “World Teachers’ Day”.
NET: http://www.ei-ie.org/worldteachersday/en/index.htm

TODAY the Islamic observance of “Ramadan” begins, the most sacred holiday of the Muslim year. The 9th month of the Islamic calendar is the holy month of fasting during daylight hours. During this period, Muslims abstain from food, drink & sex from dawn till dusk each day. Ramadan is a time of atonement somewhat similar to Yom Kippur (Jewish) and Lent (Christian). It ends with the celebration “Eid-al-Fitr”, the Festival of Fast-Breaking.
NET: http://www3.kumc.edu/diversity/ethnic_relig/ramadan.html

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1969 [36] “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” debuts on BBC-TV (45 episodes produced before the troupe leaves in 1974 to make movies)

1970 [35] PBS-TV debuts (and the begging begins)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [10] Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” is certified Gold & Platinum (truly a one-hit-wonder!)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1984 [21] 1st Canadian in space (Marc Garneau, aboard the shuttle “Challenger”)

1985 [20] 1st American League East title for Toronto Blue Jays

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2001 [04] Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants sets the Major League Baseball record for ‘Home Runs in a Single Season’ at 72 (then adds one more 2 days later)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Frugal Fun Day
[Thurs] Physician Assistant Day
[Thurs] Lawyers Day
[Fri] 10th National Denim Day
[Sat] Download Festival [Mountain View CA]
[Mon] Columbus Day [USA]
[Mon] Thanksgiving Day [no “BS” service]
This Week Is . . . No Salt Week (next week is ‘Pound Salt Week’)
This Month Is . . . Gay & Lesbian History Month (read up on the history of Queen George)

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS RÉSUMÉ-TO-ENGLISH DICTIONARY:
About a quarter of job-seekers lie on their CVs to try to impress a potential boss, according to a firm that helps employers screen candidates. Here’s a look at what some people say . . . and what it really means …
• “I’m extremely adept at all manner of office organization” . . . I’ve used Microsoft Office.
• “I’m honest, hard-working and dependable” . . . I pilfer office supplies.
• “My pertinent work experience includes …” . . . I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.
• “I take pride in my work” . . . I blame others for my mistakes.
• “I’m personable” . . . I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
• “I’m extremely professional” . . . I carry a Day-Timer.
• “I am adaptable” . . . I’ve changed jobs a lot.
• “I am on-the-go” . . . I’m never at my desk.
• “I’m highly motivated to succeed” . . . The minute I find a better job, I’m outta here!

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Is this the answer to adolescent obesity? In a bid to promote healthier eating habits, the British government has developed a plan to teach all secondary school students how to prepare healthy meals.
• Should Paris Hilton give back her $5-million engagement ring to shipping heir Paris Latsis?

CAN YOU DIVINE THE ANSWER?
The following are methods of ‘divination’ or predicting the future. What does each require the soothsayer to examine?
• Omphalomancy …
a. Staring into your eyes.
b. Staring at the ceiling.
c. Staring at your navel. [CORRECT]

• Phrenology …
a. Examining bumps on hands.
b. Examining bumps on the skull. [CORRECT]
c. Examining bumps on a log.

• Tasseomancy …
a. The art of reading tea leaves. [CORRECT]
b. The art of reading signatures.
c. The art of interpreting your nose.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you’re going to do THIS, researchers say that Wednesday is the best day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Start a diet.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The best time to buy anything is last year.