October 30, 2000 Edition: #1921
REJECTED AD SLOGANS FOR ‘MORNING AFTER’ PILL:
• ‘Recommended by 9 out of 10 welfare moms.’
• ‘No fetus can beat us!’
• ‘It’s not just for British hookers anymore.’
• ‘C’mon, admit it, you’ve swallowed worse.’
• ‘Got pregnant?’
BS TABLOID TRASH:
• If you believe “Star”, Jennifer Lopez’s famous fanny has filled out again. Seems she’s so busy, she’s a little behind on regular workouts and her little behind — isn’t anymore. (Yeah, but Puffy is still the bigger ass.)
• “NY Post” claims Courtney Love was absolutely livid when she attended Versace’s Spring-Summer show in Milan and found her pre-arrival demands hadn’t been met — a private jet, a full-time nanny for her daughter, 3 personal assistants and several dresses on-the-house. She and ‘friend’ Donatella Versace reportedly had it out backstage after the show. (Courtney needs to add a word to Hole.)
• According to “Enquirer”, John Goodman has asked Bruce Willis to guest-star on his trouble-plagued gay-themed TV sitcom “Normal, Ohio”. And it seems Bruce has tentatively agreed to play a bar singer who gets big John all hot and bothered. (Maybe this show’s failing because a 300-lb sweaty guy isn’t all that attractive – to any sex.)
• “Star” says Rob Lowe wants old pal Demi Moore to make a rare TV appearance on “The West Wing” as a political rival who winds up falling in love with his ‘Sam Seaborn’ character. She’s reportedly not sure if a TV spot is a good career move, but has promised an answer within a few weeks. (Uh Demi, what career?)
• Tinseltown couple David Duchovny and Tea Leoni reportedly like to host cerebral discussions at their dinner parties. According to “Globe”, they announce the ‘rules of conversation’ before dinner and then kick-off a formal debate during the meal. (Tonight’s topic – how superficial are former TV actors who pass themselves off as intellectuals?)
• And this dire warning thanks to “Weekly World News” – “Dolphins are viciously attacking people around the world!” (Only the NY Jets appear to be safe.)
HAS ANYONE SEEN THESE SHOWS?
At TONIGHT’s “Gemini Awards”, Canada’s TV honors, the CBC drama “Da Vinci’s Inquest” leads all nominations with 10. Following close behind, CTV’s “Dr Lucille: The Lucille Teasdale Story” (most expensive Canadian TV movie ever made), and “The Sheldon Kennedy Story” have 9 nods apiece.
WHAT IF YOU RUN OUT OF GAS?
After decades of development, inventor Paul Moller says he’s nearly ready for public testing of his ‘Skycar’. The vertical takeoff flying car is designed to fly at up to 325 mph and as high as 20,000 ft. Don’t get too excited about avoiding traffic jams yet – it could be another 10 years before they go into mass production. (Source: “Christian Science Monitor”)
IT’S ABOUT 1-AND-A-TENTH SECS TO 7:
The ‘atomic wristwatch’ promises to be one of this year’s hottest holiday-season gadget gifts. The new normal-size watches pick up signals from official government atomic clocks to provide exact time within a fraction of a second. For the precision fanatic on your list, expect to cough up about $70 US. (Source: “USA Today)
THE BULL SHEET 10.30.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [61] Grace Slick, Evanston IL, classic rock singer (Jefferson Airplane-“Somebody to Love”)
1945 [55] Henry Winkler, NYC, former TV actor (Arthur ‘The Fonz’ Fonzarelli-“Happy Days”)
1967 [33] Gavin Rossdale, London ENG, rock singer (Bush-“No More Worries”)
1969 [31] Snow (Darren O’Brien), Toronto ON, rap artist (“I’ll Do Anything For You”, “The Informer”)
1970 [30] Nia Long, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (“Big Momma’s House”, “Soul Food”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Bodybuilders’ Day”, celebrating the 1893 birth of Charles Atlas (Angelo Siciliano) in Acri, Italy. A bully actually did kick sand in the former 97-lb weakling’s face and steal his girlfriend, leading him to develop a wildly popular mail-order body building course.
TONIGHT is “Devil’s Night” or “Mischief Night,” traditionally a night of pranks before Halloween.
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1995 [05] Federalists triumph over Separatists in Quebec referendum by a razor-thin 50.6 to 49.4%
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1894 [106] 1st ‘time clock’ patented, leading to the expression ‘punching the clock’
1990 [10] 1st episode of Emmy-winning crime drama “Law & Order” on NBC-TV
1990 [10] England and France complete cross-English Channel ‘Chunnel’
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] National UNICEF Day
[Tues] National Magic Day
[Tues] Increase Your Psychic Powers Day
National Skin Care Awareness Month (stupormodel Naomi Campbell says her secret is Crisco. Yuk!)
BULL’S BITS . . .
HALLOWEEN FACTS:
• Halloween had its origins among the ancient Celts and is based on their “Feast of Samhain”. ‘Sam’ and ‘hain’ meant ‘end of’ and ‘summer’.
• The name ‘Halloween’ comes from ‘All Hallow’s Eve’ or the evening before ‘All Saint’s Day’, ‘hallow’ being an Old English word for ‘saint’.
• ‘Jack-o’-lanterns’ originated from Irish folklore. They used turnips until they discovered pumpkins were easier to hollow out and carve.
• ‘Trick-or-treating’ stems from the practice of collecting alms for the poor in order to save your soul.
• In old England, girls played a Halloween game which was supposed to tell them whom they’d marry. They would place a hazlenut in the fire, assign it the name of a would-be husband, then chant, “If you love me pop and fly, If you hate me burn and die!”
• A new Scripps Howard News poll finds 48% of us believe in ghosts.
BS TRIVIA:
Q: This now-common household item was first constructed from a tea chest, biscuit box, old electric motors, motorcycle lamp lenses, darning needles, piano wire, glue, string and sealing wax. What is it?
A: It was the first television built by John Baird of London ENG. 75 years ago TODAY (1925), he initiated the 1st television transmission.
(Source: Britannica.com)
BS TAG LINE: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
