October 23, 2000 Edition: #1916
The first segment of CBC-TV’s massive 16-part, 30-hour, $25-million documentary series “Canada: A People’s History” aired LAST NIGHT. In cased you missed it (or fell asleep), here’s a look at . . .
BS SURPRISES IN THE NEW CANADA DOC:
• Instead of ‘village’, it turns out ‘Canada’ is an ancient Algonquin word meaning ‘just missed out on the bronze medal’.
• General James Wolfe’s favorite drinking song was “I get no kick from Champlain”.
• Jean Chretien’s ancestors spoke a rare dialect called ‘Fringlish’.
• Despite how the locals pronounce it, Saskatchewan actually has FOUR syllables.
• Don Cherry’s grandmother was a Swede.
• The ‘beaver trade’ is still flourishing on Crescent Street in Montreal.
BS TABLOID TRASH:
• An unnamed Tennessee mom is being credited with foiling her 17-year-old son’s plans to off ‘N Sync over the weekend at an Atlanta concert. According to “Enquirer”, she spotted a folder labeled ‘Operation Death Strike’ in his bedroom (duh!) and ratted him out to cops. Oh, and the motive? The wacko was steamed ‘the group gets all the good girls’.
• “Extra Extra!” says TONIGHT’s season premiere of “Ally McBeal” introduces ex-con Robert Downey Jr in a new recurring role as a mysterious stranger who becomes ‘Ally’s’ love interest. (He should be well-versed in legal matters – he’s on parole!)
• “Planet Tabloid” says Sarah Michelle Gellar & Freddie Prinze Jr have moved into his new $3-million home and she’s reportedly hired a top decorator to redo the joint from top to bottom. The tab also reports that pals predict they’ll wed by Christmas.
• “E! Online” says George Michael will return John Lennon’s “Imagine” piano that he just bought for $2.1 million to Liverpool’s Beatles Museum — once he writes a song with it. (Blasphemy!)
• “Mr Showbiz” reports that even though Mel Gibson’s new film “The Million Dollar Hotel” won the top award at this year’s “Berlin Film Festival”, Mel thinks it’s quote , ‘as boring as a dog’s ass’. Lions Gate Films, which is planning to release it sometime early next year, must be thrilled. (And my dog is suing for defamation.)
A LARGE DOUBLE-DOUBLE FOR 2 GRAND:
Doctors in Sweden are developing the quickie breast enhancement which can be done over a lunch hour. The procedure is completed with just a few simple injections and costs about $500 — per cup size. (Less than Starbucks.)
FINALLY I CAN PARALLEL PARK:
Nissan engineers have developed a car with cameras mounted on both sides of the front bumper that will purportedly eliminate blind spots and allow drivers to see around corners. They hope the new technology will become standard equipment. (Complete with back seat monitors for the ‘real driver’.)
SAY ‘BYE TO BODY ART:
Docs in Texas have developed a new painless device for tattoo removal. The ‘infrared coagulator’ basically causes ink to melt from the skin. Typical patients are mothers who don’t want kids to see their tats, and mature men who can finally afford to have ‘that woman’s’ name’ stripped from their skin. (Now if we can just find a way to heal up those piercing holes.)
THE BULL SHEET 10.23.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [75] Johnny Carson, Corning IA, retired TV host (“The Tonight Show”, 1962-92)
1956 [44] Dwight Yoakam, Pikeville KY, country singer (“These Arms”, “Fast As You”)/movie actor (“Sling Blade”)
1959 [41] (Alfred Matthew) Weird Al Yankovic, Lynwood CA, parody singer (“Saga Begins”, “Gump”)
1962 [38] Doug Flutie, Manchester MD, pint-sized pro football QB (Buffalo Bills/3 Grey Cups & 6 CFL MVP Awards-Toronto Argos, Calgary Stampeders, BC Lions)
1965 [35] Al Leiter, Toms River NJ, MLB pitcher (‘00 World Series-NY Mets, ’97 World Series-Florida Marlins, ’93 World Series-Toronto Blue Jays)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “TV Talk Show Host Day”, to celebrate those ‘gifted with the personality and intellect to enable them to bring out the best in their guests’. Based on that, which current TV host is best?
TODAY is “Canning Day”, honoring the 1752 birth of French chef/chemist Nicolas Appert, who came up with the concept of sealing perishable food in jars. For this, he is known as ‘the father of canning’, but he also came up with many other inventions, including the bouillon cube.
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1993 [07] Toronto Blue Jays win 2nd consecutive World Series (4-2 vs Philadelphia)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1814 [186] 1st ‘plastic surgery’ performed (Joan Rivers gets her first facelift)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [05] Rock group Def Leppard performs record 3 concerts in 3 cities on 3 continents in 1 day
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] United Nations Day (an oxymoron?)
[Tues] National Bologna Day (as usual, we’ll be full of it)
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time ends (except in Skatchwun)
Massage Therapists Week (we’d make fun of them, but we don’t wanna rub them the wrong way)
National Pork Month (perfect time to call an election)
BULL’S BITS . . .
TRUTH OR BS?
• In general, women can hear better than men. (True. The reason I never seem to hear the words “Can you take out the garbage before you watch the game?”)
• Scottish celebrants used to make jack-o’-lanterns out of broccoli. (BS, but they DID use turnips.)
• The average person eats about 2 lbs of bugs a year. (True! That’s mostly because insects accidentally get ground up in foods like peanut butter, strawberry jam and spaghetti sauce. Scientists say they won’t hurt you — they’re actually full of protein!)
• Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. (True, same as the boss’s heart.)
WELCOME ABOARD!
A tip of da Bull’s horns to our newest BS associates — Logan Davis @ KISN 97 FM Salt Lake City UT, Jon Matthews @ CJFX Antigonish NS and Jeff Brown @ ROCK 95 Barrie ON. Refer a friend to BS, get a FREE MONTH!
BS TAG LINE: I’m really thin. It’s just that radio makes me sound 10 lbs heavier.
