October 13, 2000 Never Walk Under a Black Cat #1910
TODAY is the supposedly unlucky day “Friday the 13th”. Every year has at least one, but never more than three.
ORIGINS OF SUPERSTITIONS:
• Fear of the number 13 dates back to Nordic mythology. A later superstition said that if 13 people sat at a table, one would die before the year was out, based on the last supper.
• Walking under a ladder is considered bad luck because a ladder leaning against a wall forms a triangle, and Egyptians believed strongly in the power of pyramids and triangles. To break the triangle was considered very dangerous.
• Fear of black cats also goes back to ancient Egypt where the Goddess Bast was a black female cat.
• Knocking on wood was to keep the evil spirits that lived in it from coming out.
• Saying ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes dates from the 6th century, when it was believed sneezes expelled evil from the body.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
It was announced YESTERDAY that Stompin’ Tom Connors is among this year’s winners of Governor General’s Awards, to be presented NOVEMBER 3rd (will Adrienne Clarkson join him in a rousing rendition of “Bud the Spud”?) . . . Word is former MuchMusic VJ turned CBS White House correspondent John Roberts will bump Dan Rather as “CBS Evening News” anchor as early as late November (we remember JD as a radio swing jock) . . . 98 Degrees‘ former management company has filed a $25-million lawsuit claiming the boys dumped it when they hit it big (it’s the hardest thing they ever had to do) . . . Word is it’s over between Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs & Jennifer Lopez after she caught him in an ‘explicit phone conversation’ (if you had my love and I gave you all my trust would you lie to me?).
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
The Robert Altman comedy “Dr T and the Women” stars Richard Gere as a successful gynecologist who’s overwhelmed by the women in his life, played by Helen Hunt, Farrah Fawcett, Shelley Long & Laura Dern (his real-life live-in, former “Law & Order” star Carey Lowell, is reportedly giving him hassles too, telling him no more kids unless he marries her) . . . In “The Contender”, Joan Allen plays a US Senator who faces opposition when chosen by the President (Jeff Bridges) to replace the VP who suddenly dies . . . In the horror thriller “Lost Souls”, Winona Ryder unearths a conspiracy to enable the Devil to assume human form . . . The comedy “The Ladies Man” stars Tim Meadows as a smooth-talking woman chaser who gets fired from his late-night RADIO TALK SHOW.
JUST CALL ME PEEWEE:
According to a poll by a men’s magazine, about 70% of men have a pet name for their er, uh, manhood. Some of the most popular — ‘Junior’, ‘Jack’, ‘Ace’, ‘Big Boy’, ‘Sam’, and ‘Slugger’. Interesting that only half of those surveyed say they reveal the nickname to their partners.
WEAPONS PROTECTION:
The UK’s Ministry of Defence has a project code-named ‘Crusader 21′ whose mandate is to develop bullet and bomb-proof bras and underwear. The top-secret designs should be ready by 2002 in anticipation of women being allowed in the British infantry. (Take it from our country’s experience — make ‘em man-proof!)
THE BULL SHEET 10.13.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [59] Paul Simon, Newark NJ, pop singer/songwriter (“You’re the One”, “Graceland”)
1959 [41] Marie Osmond, Ogden UT, sometime singer/”Miss America” co-host with Donnie
1962 [38] Kelly Preston, Honolulu HI, movie actress (“For Love of the Game”, “Jerry McGuire”)/Mrs John Travolta since 1991
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1927 [73] Roger Moore, London ENG, movie actor (‘James Bond’ 1973-85) NOTE: He’s just agreed to a divorce settlement that pays ex-3rd wife Luisa $15 million
1939 [61] Ralph Lauren (Lipshitz), Bronx NY, fashion designer
1974 [26] Natalie Maines, Austin TX, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Fly”, “Wide Open Spaces”)
1978 [22] Usher (Raymond), Atlanta GA, R&B singer (“Nice & Slow”, “You Make Me Wanna”)
1996 [04] Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon, LA CA, daughter of Madonna, sired via Carlos Leon
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TOMORROW is “Be Bald & Be Free Day”, a day to be ‘shiny and proud’ and mothball the ol’ toupee. Ask listeners which celebs wear the worst wigs.
TOMORROW is “National Frump Day”, honoring the world’s largest silent majority — average, unpretentious, regular folks. (In other words, ‘trailer trash’.)
SUNDAY is “National Grouch Day,” a day to allow grouches time to spout off. (Like Andy Rooney.)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1903 [97] 1st ‘World Series’ (Boston Pilgrims beat Pittsburgh Pirates 5 games to 3 in best of 9)
1905 [95] ‘Ontario Provincial Police’ (OPP) established
1947 [53] 1st NHL ‘All-Star Game’ (All-Stars beat defending Stanley Cup champ Maple Leafs)
1983 [17] 1st ‘cellular phone’
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] National Dessert Day
[Sun] White Cane Safety Day (always put it safely in the back seat when driving)
[Mon] National Boss Day
National Metric Week (only Myanmar, Liberia, and the USA do NOT use the metric system)
National Roller Skating Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
TRUTH OR BS?
• Researchers are attributing the increase in late September childbirths to increased sexual activity 9 months ago due to Y2K. (True! Did you get lucky New Year’s Eve?)
• The average human body contains enough plutonium to make a nuclear bomb. (BS. But there is enough carbon to make 900 pencils, enough iron to make a 3-inch nail and enough phosphorous for 2,200 match heads!)
• When you sneeze, it can cloud your brain and affect your thinking for up to 40 seconds. (True. Experts say many car wrecks and industrial accidents are caused by a single sneeze.)
• There’s a species of turtle in Jamaica that can fly. (BS, unless you score some really potent ganga.)
• The average person will spend 2 weeks of their lifetime waiting for traffic lights to change. (True. Except in Montreal, where you just drive on through.)
BS TAG LINE: An expert — someone who knows tomorrow why today’s prediction failed.
