October 6, 2000 Edition: #1905
YESTERDAY the new “Beatles Anthology” book was released worldwide, the ‘definitive band biography’ that tells the total tale in 368 pages that include some 1300 personal pics from the Fab Four. In case you can’t afford the hefty price tag, circa $90, here’s some BS . . .
SHOCKING REVELATIONS IN THE BEATLE BOOK:
• 2 out of 3 surviving Beatles report that Yoko isn’t all that great in the sack.
• The Queen Mum refused to accept co-writing credit on “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road”.
• Seismic monitors indicate John still spinning over the use of “Revolution” in a Nike ad.
• Ringo is actually a highly trained, sloppily shaven chimpanzee.
• Paul is STILL not dead.
• One of the tracks for “Sergeant Pepper’s” was inadvertently recorded while the band WASN’T stoned.
• Turns out you CAN buy me love, after all.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
I Can Sing Therefore I Can Act, Part 1 – Lauryn Hill will star in an upcoming movie called “Sauce”, about rival barbecue rib restaurant owners who fall in love . . . I Can Sing Therefore I Can Act, Part 2 – Buzz is Mariah Carey will fill Linda Carter’s ample corset in an upcoming bigscreen version of “Wonder Woman” (Linda couldn’t act either, but at least hers were real) . . . And the ‘gloved one’ is back – OJ Simpson is releasing a rap album before the end of the year (rumor has it it’s a real killer).
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
The action flick “Get Carter”, Sylvester Stallone’s first movie in 3 years, in which he plays a mob enforcer seeking revenge for his brother’s murder (Michael Caine played the lead in the 1971 original and has a supporting role in this remake) . . . In the comedy ”Meet the Parents”, Ben Stiller meets his girlfriend’s family for the first time and bungles every attempt to impress the father, played by Robert De Niro . . . “Digimon: The Movie”, another kid’s animated feature based on a video game.
WHAT WE WANT FROM WORK:
A new poll of 10,000 employees in 32 countries finds workers worldwide are looking for the same qualities in an employer – trust, fairness and training. The survey also finds that employee loyalty is not based on salary, benefits or stock options. We’re most likely to stay with a company if it ‘behaves ethically’. (So how come so many people work for the government?)
WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• The ruling junta in the Myanmar (formerly known as Burma) has declared caffeine a narcotic. And the really bad news is – under local law, possession of narcotics can carry a death sentence. (I’m just dying for a cup of coffee!)
• A clinic in Denmark that specializes in the treatment of pathological gamblers is now treating Internet addicts, including those hooked on mobile phone SMS (Short Message Services) chats. (These days you need a degree in software engineering just to be a junkie.)
• A coroner in England says a woman died because she had no less than 118 body piercings. (What an odd way to describe multiple stab wounds.)
THE BULL SHEET 10.06.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [45] Tony Dungy, NFL head coach (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
1963 [37] Elisabeth Shue, Wilmington DE, movie actress (“The Saint”, Oscar-“Leaving Las Vegas”)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [49] John Mellencamp, Seymour IN, rock singer (“I’m Not Running Anymore”, “Jack & Diane”)
1968 [32] Toni Braxton, Severn MD, pop/R&B singer (“Spanish Guitar”, “Unbreak My Heart”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
THIS WEEK is “National Customer Service Week”, a good time to take calls from listeners with stories about outstanding service they’ve received from businesses. In these days of voice mail, menu-driven phone systems and high-tech retailing, it’s refreshing to hear about good old fashioned personal service. If station advertisers get mentioned, all the better!
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1996 [04] Country stars Tim McGraw and Faith Hill get hitched, but postpone honeymoon in order to resume a joint tour
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] John Lennon’s 60th Birth Anniversary (1940)
National Newspaper Week
Listen To Your Inner Critic Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
THE BS THANKSGIVING DAY FORECAST:
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder. During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of 1 to 2 inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers.
BS TRIVIA:
Jean Chretien has announced Canada’s highest peak, Mount Logan, will be renamed Pierre Elliott Trudeau Mountain, which no doubt will be commonly known as Mount Trudeau (coincidently something that used to appear on Barbra Streisand’s weekly ‘to-do list’). So . . .
• Who the heck was ‘Logan’ anyway? [The peak was named for Sir William E Logan, director of the Geological Survey of Canada from 1842 to 1869.]
• How high is it? [19,524 feet or 5,951 metres]
• What mountain range is it in? [The Saint Elias Range in the southwest corner of Yukon Territory.]
• Which national park is it in? [Kluane National Park] (Source for all: Discovery.com)
Q: When was the first Canadian Thanksgiving?
A: It’s a matter of contention, but many historians believe it was the harvest feast celebrated by English explorer Martin Frobisher during his failed attempt to find the northwest passage. That would put it just over 40 years BEFORE the Pilgrims landing in Massachusetts in 1620.
BS TAG LINE: Don’t judge a book by its movie.
