BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Starting Monday, California widow Elsie Poncher will again attempt to auction off her late husband’s marble mausoleum crypt above Marilyn Monroe at the Westwood Cemetery, as a previous winning bid of $4.6 million in August fell through (what would you pay to lay atop Marilyn for eternity?) . . . While shooting her globe-trotting new TV show, “The Price of Beauty”, in Morocco, Jessica Simpson was offered a local delicacy – a brain sandwich (well they certainly picked the right person) . . . Spice Girls are reportedly in talks to have their story turned into a stage musical (fabulous idea, they could call it “Spice World”) . . . Mexican rock star Alejandra Guzman says she’s been hospitalized with an infection from buttocks injections she had to make herself ‘more beautiful’ (what a pain in the butt!) . . . 28-year-old “Dollhouse” actress Eliza Dushku has confirmed she’s dating Vanessa Williams’ 40-year-old ex-husband, former LA Lakers basketball star Rick Fox (he’s got another slam dunk!) . . . DNA has already proven 45-year-old actor Keanu Reeves is NOT the father of a Canadian woman’s kids, but 46-year-old Karen Sala says she’ll seek another test to support her demand for $150,000-a-month in child support – retroactive to 1988 – and $3 million-a-month in spousal support (you can’t say she doesn’t aim high) . . . And 48-year-old confirmed bachelor George Clooney tells BANG Showbiz that he’s planning to adopt some of pal Brad Pitt’s 6 kids – because he ‘owes him’.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Tonight Michael Bublé (“Crazy Love”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Eric Church (“Carolina”).
• Justin Timberlake & Friends Concert to Benefit Shriners Hospitals for Children (Las Vegas) – Saturday’s fundraiser at the Mandalay Bay Events Center includes performances by Alicia Keys, Ciara, Taylor Swift, and – in their first US performance in 7 years – TLC.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Toby Keith (“American Ride”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Tim McGraw (“Southern Voice”, out next Tuesday).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Actor Gerard Butler hosts (“Law Abiding Citizen”); Shakira is the musical guest.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Five For Fighting (“Slice”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Dashboard Confessional (“After The Ending”, out November 10th).
• “The Twlight Saga: New Moon Original Soundtrack” – The soundtrack release to the upcoming film (November 20) has been moved up to today, likely due to it leaking online last weekend. It features original songs by Death Cab for Cutie, Grizzly Bear, The Killers, and Thom Yorke.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – She’s filed for divorce after 3 years of marriage to pop-punk musician Deryck Whibley (Sum 41). The ubiquitous ‘irreconcilable differences’ is the reason being cited.
• Beyoncé – She’s working on a secret project with Lady Gaga, thought to be a duet on her upcoming single “Video Phone”. They’ve been spotted shooting a video for the song in NYC.
• Elvis Presley – Sunday a clump of his hair, once intended to be distributed to fans as a souvenir, is one of 200 lots of celeb memorabilia up for auction by Profiles in History in Calabasas CA.
• Garth Brooks – The 47-year-old one-time country superstar announced yesterday that he’s ‘coming out of retirement’.
• Lady Gaga – She’s announced her upcoming tour, a multimedia artistic experience entitled “The Monster Ball”, will open November 27 in Montréal. It’s scheduled to wrap in NYC January 21. Kid Cudi will be the opening act.
• Leona Lewis – A 6′-5” male fan waited patiently in line this week to have her autograph a copy of her new autobiography, “Dreams”, at a London bookshop, then punched her in the face when he got to the front of the line. (Talk about “Bleeding Love”!)
• Leonard Cohen – Saturday the iconic 75-year-old poet/singer kicks off another leg of North American touring in Sunrise FL.
• Michael Jackson – Saturday 12 strands of his hair, salvaged from his singed scalp after he was burned during the filming of a Pepsi commercial in 1984, is being sold at auction in London UK. The are collectively valued at $1,600. (It’s turning into a hairy weekend for auctions!)
• Tammy Wynette – Sunday the legendary country singer is inducted posthumously into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame. Wynette recorded many of her own compositions, including “Stand By Your Man” and “Til I Can Make It On My Own”.
• Trace Adkins – Tonight he’s in Charlotte NC to perform the national anthem ahead of the Dollar General 300 auto race at Lowe’s Motor Speedway.
• Whitney Houston – Sunday she appears on British TV for the first time in 13 years, persuaded by Simon Cowell to sing “I Look To You” on his UK talent show “The X Factor”.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Law Abiding Citizen” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Gerard Butler plays an everyday guy who decides to take justice into his own hands after a plea bargain sets his family’s killers free. His target: The district attorney who orchestrated the deal (Jamie Foxx). Shot entriely on location in Philadelphia PA.
NET: http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2753823257/
• “The Stepfather” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): Penn Badgley stars as a young man who returns home from military school to find his mother living with a new boyfriend. But the more he gets to know him, the more suspicious he becomes of the new guy in his mom’s life. Co-stars Sela Ward, Dylan Walsh. A remake of the 1987 film of the same name.
NET: http://www.welcometothefamily.com
• “Where the Wild Things Are” ( PG Family Fantasy ): An adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s classic kids’ story about a disobedient boy sent to bed without his supper who creates his own world, a forest inhabited by ferocious creatures that crown him their ruler. Stars Max Records (selected after thousands of auditions), Mark Ruffalo, and the voices of James Gandolfini, Catherine O’Hara, and Forest Whitaker. Filming began way back in 2005.
NET: http://wherethewildthingsare.warnerbros.com

WHAT’S IT WORTH TO YA, MOM?
According to a new study, a significant number of parents regularly bribe their children to eat healthy. A survey of 3,000 parents finds that children often throw tantrums and hide food when broccoli, sprouts, and other greens are on their plates. That’s what’s led 1-in-5 parents to offer ‘rewards’ for consuming vegetables. 1-in-6 parents admit they just let their kids eat what they want. 1-in-3 describe their children as ‘fussy eaters’. Nutritionists say instilling healthy eating habits early in life helps to ensure kids eat balanced meals. (Just not the lima beans, okay?)
– “Daily Express”

MORE MOMS MOROSE:
Many working mothers leave their young children at home or in daycare. The result: More kids spending less time with mom, and in many cases a lot of adult guilt. Highlights of several recent surveys by the Pew Research Center on working moms …
• Women now make up 47% of the workforce.
• Over 70% of women with children under age 18 work outside the home.
• More than 60% of working mothers would rather work part-time than full-time.
• 40% of working mothers with children under age 18 report they always feel rushed.
– LiveScience.com

MOM ANAGRAMS:
When wordsmith Melissa Balmain rearranged letters from mom-related words, the results she discovered included …
• Breastfeeding: “Insert feedbag.”
• Contraction: “I can contort.”
• Maternity pants: “A nasty prim tent.”
• Postpartum: “Ma, Pop strut.”
– Babytalk.com

TWITTERING 101:
Composing 140-character maximum ‘tweets’ for social networking website Twitter.com has become compulsory writing for would-be journalists at Australia’s Griffith University. Why? Senior lecturer Jacqui Ewart notes that Twitter microblogs are increasingly being used to broadcast otherwise restricted information, such as news of the uprising after Iran’s recent presidential election. The service is also being used more frequently by politicians. But reaction from students has been mixed, some raising questions over the validity of using sites like Twitter and Facebook in a formal education curriculum. (Fine, you get to write 10,000-word essays.)
– Reuters

BIG BROTHER’S WATCHING YOU WASH:
A new British study by the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine shows that people are more likely to wash their hands properly after using a restroom if they think they are being watched. Stats show that less than a third of men and two-thirds of women regularly wash their hands with soap. But those numbers increase dramatically when electronic signs are installed in public restrooms flashing the question: “Is the person next to you washing with soap?” Why bother? Handwashing with soap has been ranked the most cost-effective intervention for the worldwide control of disease. (Just ahead of keeping Jude Law’s pants on.)
– Telegraph.co.uk

AND WE QUOTE:
“I’ve never been a good judge of what things are going to be huge or not. The songs that I think are the most retarded songs I’ve written end up being the biggest hits.”
– 51-year-old Madonna, telling “Rolling Stone” magazine what we already knew.

BS CHRONOMETER 10.16.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [68] Tim McCarver, Memphis TN, FOX-TV Major League Baseball analyst/ex-MLB catcher (played in the 1950s, ‘60s, ‘70s & ‘80s)

1958 [51] Tim Robbins, West Covina CA, movie actor (“The Shawshank Redemption”, Oscar-“Mystic River”)/movie director (“Dead Man Walking”)/Susan Sarandon’s partner since 1988

1962 [47] Flea (Michael Balzary), Melbourne, Australia, rock bassist (Red Hot Chili Peppers-“Dani California”, “By the Way”)

1977 [32] John Mayer, Bridgeport CT, pop singer/songwriter (“Waiting On the World to Change”, Grammy Award-“Your Body Is a Wonderland”)

1981 [28] Brea Grant, Marshall TX, TV actress (‘Daphne Millbrook’ on “Heroes” since 2008)

SATURDAY –
Country singer Alan Jackson (“Country Boy”) is 51; Former boy-band singer Chris Kirkpatrick (*NSYNC) is 38; Rapper Eminem (“Crack a Bottle”) is 37; Pop singer Wyclef Jean (The Fugees) is 37.

SUNDAY –
Rock & roll pioneer Chuck Berry (“Johnny B Goode”) is 83; R&B singer Ne-Yo (“Miss Independent”) is 30; Country singer Josh Gracin (“Nothin’ to Lose”) is 29; Movie actor Zac Efron (“High School Musical”) is 22; TV actress Joy Lauren (“Desperate Housewives”) is 20.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bosses Day”, an observance since 1958 in which employees are encouraged to ‘honor the boss with a small gift or greeting card’ (aka ‘Brown Nosers Day’). What makes a good boss? Attributes most people select in a recent poll: fair, honest, understanding, approachable, a good communicator. Among employees who consider their bosses to be ‘abusive’, 30% confess to having ‘slowed down or ‘purposely making errors’ on the job, according to another poll.
• “Dictionary Day”, celebrating the 1758 birth of Noah Webster, one of the most famous of lexicographers, who 1st published “Webster’s Dictionary” in 1828.
• “Mammography Day”, a “Breast Cancer Awareness Month” reminder of the importance of regular testing.
• “World Food Day”, as declared annually by the UN. The 2009 theme: “Achieving Food Security in Times of Crisis”.
NET: http://www.fao.org/getinvolved/worldfoodday/en/

SATURDAY –
• “Diwali” (or “Deepavali”), a significant festival in Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Jainism, and an official holiday in India. The end of harvest ‘Festival of Lights’ is an occasion to light diyas (cotton-string wicks in small clay pots of oil), bursting crackers, and eating sweets.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/yg5vnl7
• “International Day For the Eradication of Poverty”, a UN observance since 1993. Is it working yet?
• “Sweetest Day”, celebrated annually on the 3rd Saturday in October, it began in 1922 when  Cleveland OH philanthropist and candy company employee Herbert Birch Kingston began giving candy & small gifts to the underprivileged. He often asked movie stars to hand them out.
• “Wear Something Gaudy Day”. Well, nice to see [co-host] is dressed for the occasion!

SUNDAY –
• “Alaska Day”, commemorating the formal transfer of Alaska from Russian to US control on this date in 1867, one of the sneakiest real estate deals ever! America paid $7.2 million, or less than 2 cents an acre. Nowadays, millions of dollars worth of oil is piped out of Alaska … every day.
• “No Beard Day”, an observance likely started by some guy’s extremely chapped partner.
• “Persons Day”, commemorating the anniversary of the 1929 ruling that declared women to be ‘persons’ in Canada. Previously, under English common law, women were persons in matters of ‘pains and penalties’, but were not persons in matters of ‘rights and privileges’.
• “Watch a Squirrel Day”. Huh? Nuts to you!
• “World Menopause Day”, a collaboration between the International Menopause Society (!?!?) and the World Health Organization for improving awareness on the subject.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1846 [163] 1st public demonstration of ‘Surgical Anesthesia’ (early anesthetics include ether, hashish, opium, and alcohol)

1916 [93] 1st ‘Birth Control Clinic’ in America is opened by Margaret Sanger in Brooklyn NY

1921 [88] 1st (and only) mid-game NFL coaching change (Rock Island Independents fire Frank Coughlin at half-time)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Evaluate Your Life Day
[Mon] World Osteoporosis Day
[Tues] BBC Electric Proms concerts begin (London)
[Wed] Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce Day
[Thurs] Caps Locks Day
[Thurs] International Stuttering Awareness Day
This Week Is … Teen Read Week
This Month Is … Pasta Month

BULL’S BITS

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POPULAR KIDS’ HALLOWEEN COSTUMES 2009:
Some of the top-selling prepackaged get-ups so far …
GIRLS –
• Disney Princesses (‘Aurora’, ‘Jasmine’, ‘Cinderella’, etc)
• “Hannah Montana” (stylish dress, blond wig, and microphone)
• “Harry Potter” (‘Hermione Granger’, ‘Luna Lovegood’, ‘Ginny Weasley’)
• “Strawberry Shortcake” (strawberry hat, bag, and dress; striped leggings)
• “Twilight” (vampire costume)
BOYS –
• “GI Joe” (‘Snake Eyes’ muscle-padded black jumpsuit and fabric hood with visor)
• “Harry Potter” (‘Gryffindor’ robe, round black glasses, and a wand)
• “Star Trek” (‘Mr Spock’ outfit includes blue shirt, black pants, fake ears)
• “Transformers” (‘Bumblebee’ autobot suit, chest piece, face mask, and toy weapon)
• “Wolverine” (padded jumpsuit, mask, belt, and claws)
– Condensed from Suite101.com.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Go ahead and swallow your pride, it’s non-fattening.

BS WORD OF THE DAY:
In celebration of “Dictionary Day” today, here’s a truly weird word from “Foyle’s Philavery: A Treasury of Unusual Words” for you to toss around for the day. Today’s word is …
• Wonderclout … something that is showy but useless.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 28% of viewers say they would like to work on THIS TV show.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: “CSI”.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.