October 24, 2007

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007        Edition: #3640
Sheet, Featuring Bull

Hugh Jackman’s offbeat song-and-dance TV drama “Viva Laughlin” (CBS/Global) has been canceled after just 2 episodes (this is all YOUR fault because you’ve never even heard of it, have you?) . . . Howard K Stern, the companion of Anna Nicole Smith and executor of her will, has filed court papers seeking 6% of whatever her estate might recover from the fortune of her late husband, Texas oil tycoon J Howard Marshall II (should we file this under ‘greedy’ or just ‘tacky’?) . . . Billy Crystal, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jerry Seinfeld, John Lithgow, Katie Couric, and Madonna have all done it, and now so has actor/comedian Steve Martin – written a children’s book, his titled “The Alphabet From A To Y, With Bonus Letter Z” . . . Actress Halle Berry has made a public apology after commenting on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” that a distorted photo of herself in which she appeared to have a large nose looked like her ‘Jewish cousin’ (the off-the-cuff comment was chopped from the show at her request) . . . The king of comb-overs, Donald Trump, is developing a daytime TV show that’s described as a “Judge Judy”-“Dr Phil” hybrid in which he would serve as a mediator and/or counselor for people in money-related disputes . . . Vancouver actor Joshua Jackson (“Cruel Intentions”, “Dawson’s Creek“) has landed a multi-episode guest arc later THIS SEASON on “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC/CTV), playing (what else?) a doctor (odds are ‘Izzie’ does him) . . . Victoria Beckham’s high-end ‘dVb’ jeans, made by Winnipeg-based Western Glove Works, will no longer be manufactured in Canada come the new year, another victim of the high-valued loonie (there goes another hundred jobs – to Asia) . . . And 31-year-old actress Reese Witherspoon is denying persistent rumors she & 26-year-old “Rendition” co-star Jake Gyllenhaal are a couple, continuing to claim the relationship is purely platonic even though the twosome has recently been photographed in what looks like romantic situations (apparently they’re just friends … with benefits).

• Mariah Carey – She claims she was never the type to wear perfume until she ‘fell in love’ with her own creation called “M”. Did you just throw up in your mouth a little bit too?
• Mobb Deep – Prodigy, just sentenced to a 3-and-a-half-year jail term for unlawful gun possession, claims police tried to get him to set up his boss 50 Cent by planting evidence inside the rapper’s car but he wouldn’t do it. Seems he preferred hard time to execution.
• Paul McCartney – He says the inspiration for the title of his latest album, “Memory Almost Full”, came from a warning he saw on his cellphone. Thanks goodness it wasn’t “Dead Battery”.
• Patti Smith – The 60-year-old punk icon has become the latest in a recent rash of musicians falling off the stage. Smith injured an arm after toppling over during a concert at London. Aren’t they making them level anymore?
• Spice Girls – Shooting on their new  video “Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)“ is said to be chaotic due to the girls’ diva demands. At one point the atmosphere became so stressful, Emma Bunton reportedly broke down in tears. Weird, they seem like such normal people.
• Sum 41 – They’ve cancelled a string of concert dates after frontman Deryck Whibley suffered a back injury. There’s no word on what caused the injury, other than it happened while on the road. You put your back out on tour? Wife Avril Lavigne’s gonna want details … specific details.

• Alison Krauss/Robert Plant – They perform tunes from their new duets album, “Raising Sand”, on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals – Thanks to pre-taping, they end up on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) at the same time. Somebody’s talent booker is going to be out of a job!
• Carrie Underwood – She promotes her new album, “Carnival Ride”, on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Feist – The “1234” indie singer does “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• 50 Cent – He’s a guest on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Finger Eleven – They’ve come home to do “MTV Live” (MTV Canada).
• Paolo Nutini – The Scots singer/songwriter is on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Pussycat Dolls – Nicole Scherzinger is on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Lifecasting’ – Putting your entire life on display 24/7 using a webcam. Some 10,000 people have chosen to do this online, pausing for only the most personal moments.
• ‘Mockbuster’ – A low-budget send-up of a Hollywood blockbuster done on a shoestring budget by wannabe filmmakers. (Like current sports-film spoof “The Comebacks” perhaps?)
• ‘Very Low Food Security’ – Government mumbo-jumbo for the inability of poor to put food on the table. (Another term for this would be … ‘hunger’.)

A soya shake a day could keep your pot belly at bay. New research at the University of Alabama suggests that just 1 soya-based drink each day can slash the amount of fat that accumulates across the tummy. Abdominal fat is particularly bad for health, raising the risk of heart attacks and diabetes more than fat found on other parts of the body. It is thought that soya, a vegetable protein, somehow interferes with the processing of excess sugar into fat. (That’s the good news. The bad news is … you gotta drink this stuff!)
– Reuters

Psychiatrist Daniel Siegel, author of “The Mindful Brain”, claims the ability to read other peoples’ mind’s is in decline in our culture. Recent studies suggest we generally don’t mind-read all that well. Strangers average an accuracy rate of only 20% when trying to assess what another person is thinking. Close friends and couples are correct about 35% of the time. Experts say almost no one ever scores higher than 60%. (Time for a studio experiment! Hold up a chunk of dark chocolate and try to guess what your female co-host is thinking.)
– “Psychology Today”

The stuff of which femmes are fondest, at least according to one new survey …
10. Going out for dinner.
9. Nights out with friends.
8. Christmas.
7. Being with friends.
6. Shopping.
5. Sex.
4. Chocolate.
3. Vacations.
2. Being in love.
1. Being with family.
– “Daily Mirror”

An experiment to create the world’s strongest manmade fiber has produced a material that could be woven into super-strong body armor for use by law enforcement and the military. Developed by the UK’s University of Cambridge, the lightweight fiber, made up of millions of tiny carbon nanotubes (hollow cylinders of carbon just 1-atom-thick) is expected to be given the go-head for industrial production. (Wow, it’s almost as strong as denim.)
– BBC News

Being given your own page on the world’s largest online encyclopedia, Wikipedia, is fast becoming the ultimate symbol of success. Unlike social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook, Wikipedia doesn’t allow people to post profiles of themselves. Instead, Wikipedia entries are earned. Creator Jim Wales says you only end up being included if you have been notable or successful in your field. (In like the last year-and-a-half.)
– “GQ”

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … dogs are happier than fish. A University of Hertfordshire survey finds that 91% of pet dogs are described as happy, compared with just 62% of fish. And it seems just a 1-in-3 cats has any sense of humor. (Come on! That’s what hairballs are … practical jokes.)
• Scientists say … the number of online acquaintances in your ‘Friend Lists’ on MySpace or Facebook in no way reflects or affects the number of real friends you have. (Isn’t that why we’re all withdrawing to the virtual world?)
• Scientists say … moms with wide hips could be a risk factor for breast cancer. (Time for a hip check!)
• Scientists say … the higher the cost of gasoline, the lower the rate of obesity. Apparently, we’d rather walk to work (or at least to public transportation) than shell out major dough to fill up. (If we don’t shape up soon, both our vehicles and their drivers will be ‘half-tons’.)
• Scientists say … those who try to stop thinking about chocolate eat nearly 50% more than those who openly give in to their craving. Researchers think the act of avoidance completely backfires, causing you to have even more. (Unfortunately, this doesn’t work with sex.)

According to a new analysis of the ratio of single men to women in 101 cities, the top places in America to find eligible bachelors are San Francisco CA, Minneapolis MN, and San Jose CA. The worst? Buffalo NY, Charleston WV, and Toledo OH. (Conversely, the paradise of single women can therefore be found in … Buffalo?)
– “Men’s Health“

The record for the longest period spent hibernating is an amazing 367 days, set recently by a an Australian eastern pygmy possum, which stuffed itself with food before curling up for a long nap in a New South Wales lab.
– “New Scientist”

“Life on the road hasn’t changed at all. I just no longer get dead-drunk wasted and disappear to some hotel in Tijuana.”
– Rocker Ryan Adams, on his newfound sobriety.

“Oh, crap!”
– Reportedly Marie Osmond’s first words when coming to after fainting on “Dancing With the Stars” MONDAY. The show immediately cut to commercials so viewers saw little of the incident.


1936 [71] Bill Wyman (Perks), Lewishman UK, retired rock bassist who left the Rolling Stones in 1992 and is now a restaurant owner/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1947 [60] Kevin Kline, St Louis MO, movie actor (“A Prairie Home Companion”, 1989 Academy Award-“A Fish Called Wanda”)

1979 [28] Ben Gillies, Newcastle, Australia, rock drummer (Silverchair-“If You Keep Losing Sleep”, “Abuse Me”)

1980 [27] Monica (Arnold), College Park GA, pop singer (“So Gone”, “Angel of Mine”)

1983 [24] Adrienne Bailon, NYC, TV actress/singer (‘Chanel Simmons’ in the Disney Channel’s “The Cheetah Girls”)

• “Bologna Day”, a good day to fry up a slice to add to your peanut butter sandwich. Yummers!

• “United Nations Day”, honoring the 62nd anniversary of the day in 1945 that the majority of the world’s countries adopted the charter that formed the UN. The theme for the 2007 celebration is “Global Health: A Critical Component to Development”.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ywa868

1991 [16] “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry dies in Santa Monica CA at age 70 (his ashes are now floating in space somewhere)

1836 [171] 1st ‘Friction Safety Match’ patented (Alonzo Dwight Phillips, Springfield MA)

1857 [150] World’s 1st ‘Football Club’ (soccer) founded (Sheffield Football Club, England)

1901 [106] 1st person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel – and live – as 43-year-old Annie Edson Taylor of Bay City MI expects fame & fortune … but later dies in poverty

1939 [68] 1st ‘Nylon Stockings’ go on sale, developed by DuPont (ok, but who’s to blame for knee-highs?)

1992 [15] 1st non-US team to win baseball’s World Series (Toronto Blue Jays defeat Atlanta Braves 4-3 in Game 6)

1921 [86] Lunenburg NS fishing schooner ‘Bluenose’ defeats US vessel ‘Elsie’ to win “International Schooner Championship” (the reason she’s on the Canadian dime)

[Thurs] Punk For a Day Day
[Thurs] Cartoonists Against Crime Day
[Thurs] International Greasy Foods Day
[Fri] Frankenstein Friday
[Fri] “Dan in Real Life”; “Saw IV” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Sat] 22nd Gemini Awards (Regina)
[Sun] Chocolate Day
[Sun] Plush Animal Lovers Day
[Sun] Mother-In-Laws Day
This Week Is … Prescription Errors Education & Awareness Week
This Month Is … Pajama Month


• Whyzit ‘fasting’ takes so incredibly long?
• Whyzit doughnut stores never get held up?
• Whyzit hockey doesn’t have cheerleaders?
• Whyzit we don’t get a break on car insurance for having cat-like reflexes?
• Whyzit no matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who knew it would?

• This website’s comprehensive map on recent terrorism & other suspicious activity lets you see exactly where in the world you don’t wanna be right now.
NET: http://globalincidentmap.com/home.php
• Could this be the best-named restaurant chain in San Francisco?
NET: http://www.squatandgobble.com/

According to a new ranking, here are the top 10 tunes by artists who only hit the big-time one-time …
10. Survivor – “Eye of the Tiger” (1982)
9. Meredith Brooks – “Bitch” (1997)
8. The Knack – “My Sharona” (1979)
7. Nena – “99 Luftballons” (1984)
6. Joan Osbourne – “One Of Us” (1995)
5. Dexys Midnight Runners – “Come On Eileen” (1982)
4. Right Said Fred – “I’m Too Sexy” (1991)
3. Baha Men – “Who Let the Dogs Out?” (2000)
2. Vanilla Ice – “Ice Ice Baby” (1990)
1. Los Del Rio – “Macarena” (1996)
– Oddee.com

If you could have anything of your choice delivered to your doorstep every morning, what would you want it to be?

A mistress is something between a mister and a mattress.

Today’s Question: In an average year, we get 41 lbs of THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Junk mail.

It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.

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