October 23, 2007

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007        Edition: #3639
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

TODAY the 140th anniversary issue of “Harper’s” magazine is on newsstands with a cover shot of Jennifer Aniston, who’s currently filming the ensemble comedy “He’s Just Not That Into You” with Ben Affleck (is this her life story by any chance?) . . . Authorities are still refusing to comment on those allegations from an unidentified Seattle woman that  illusionist David Copperfield ‘forced himself’ on her as the case is still pending (if he was any good, he’d make all this disappear!) . . . 37-year-old “Prison Break” star Dominic Purcell & his wife and mother of his 4 kids Rebecca Williamson have separated but, as usual in Hollywood, it’s ‘completely amicable and they remain friends’ (translated: just wait till we get to court!) . . . The new FOX-TV reality show “Nashville” that follows folks trying to make it in the country music biz has been cancelled after just 2 episodes (seems the singers weren’t the only ones tanking) . . . Actor George Clooney has been asked to sit on the executive board of a new Swiss energy company headed by billionaire Swatch chairman Nicolas Hayek that will develop environmentally friendly vehicles & other devices (Clooney is qualified because … er … well he’s George Clooney!) . . . In yet another smart move, Britney Spears has leased a $9-million country estate in Malibu CA – not far from where wildfires have been ravaging homes . . . Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie are set to produce a behind-the-scenes drama for HBO about the lives of humanitarian workers in some of the world’s most dangerous areas, their first co-production project (well, other than a kid) . . . Meantime, Brangelina are considering establishing a base in Europe – perhaps in Spain, Italy or France – in order to give their brood of 4 kids a ‘broad vision of the world’ (and because – with all their money – they can).

• Aerosmith – About a dozen fans have filed a class-action lawsuit against them (first-ever against a rock band?) for cancelling a SEPTEMBER 26th concert in Maui. The litigants are claiming other expenses beyond ticket refunds, such as travel costs.
• Amy Winehouse – She’s posted an offer on her website for her first DVD, “I Told You I Was Trouble”, out NOVEMBER 6TH. For $30, it comes with a pint glass and an ashtray. Otherwise, it costs just $16.49.
• Kylie Minogue – She’s having her famous butt bronzed … along with everything else. A bronze statue depicting the popette in her famous gold hot pants is planned for London’s Old Compton Street gay district. Seems some of her most loyal fans campaigned for planning approval.
• Modest Mouse – Johnny Marr has accepted a position as a visiting professor of music at Salford University in Manchester, England. He’ll deliver a series of workshops and master classes to undergrads in the college’s popular music & recording course.
• Olivia Newton-John – While she’s in Canada wrapping up a tour, her Malibu home is being threatened by California wildfires fanned by the Santa Ana winds. Also under threat are the homes of country singer Tanya Tucker & movie director James Cameron.
• Spice Girls – They’re set to earn a further $2 million each for endorsing … furniture. A full line of sofas, chairs, and wacky pink mirrors from a Norwegian retail chain will bear their signature.

• Alan Jackson – He returns to the Grand Ole Opry stage after being named a late addition to “Tuesday Night Opry”.
• Alison Krauss/Robert Plant – The bluegrass singer & Led Zeppelin frontman release an album of duets called “Raising Sand”. They 1st performed together in 2004 at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.
• Black Eyed Peas – will.i.am performs material from his solo album on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Brad Paisley – He’s a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Carrie Underwood – Her 2nd album “Carnival Ride” is released, for which she co-wrote 4 of the songs. Her debut album, “Some Hearts”, sold circa 6 million copies & spent 27 weeks atop the country charts. THIS MORNING she performs for “Good Morning America” (ABC) in NYC’s Times Square.
• The Editors – The hot new Brit band form Birmingham performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno (NBC).
• “Ellen” – After a long week of adopted doggy drama, Ellen DeGeneres took a 4-day weekend away from her show to chill. TODAY she’s be back at work as usual.
• Mariah Carey – The diva does “The View” (ABC/CTV) … but likely only if they’re stocking her favorite bottled water.
• “Saw IV Original Soundtrack” – TODAY we find out what kind of music ‘Jigsaw’ & ‘Amanda’ listen to … heavy! Tracks by Drowning Pool, Ministry, Skinny Puppy & The Red Chord appear on the soundtrack to the 4th installment of this horror/slasher that opens FRIDAY.
• Trace Adkins – TODAY the country star’s first book, “A Personal Stand: Observations & Opinions of a Freethinking Redneck” is released. Topics include the environment, immigration, and the war on terror.
• “Tupac: Assassination: Conspiracy or Revenge?“ – This new documentary about rapper Tupac Shakur, who was gunned down in 1996, is in stores TODAY. A press conference for the release was stunned to hear that bodyguard Kevin Hackie was an undercover FBI agent during his 4-year employment by Death Row records.

• “Home of the Brave” ( War Drama ): Brian Presley, 50 Cent & Chad Michael Murray play 3 soldiers struggling to readjust to life at home after returning from a lengthy tour in Iraq. Co-stars Samuel L Jackson, Jessica Biel & Christina Ricci.
• “Hostel: Part II” ( Horror Sequel ): Instead of a trio of guys as in the 2005 original, this time 3 co-eds (Lauren German, Heather Matarazzo, Bijou Phillips) touring Europe are lured into a hostel where they’re tied up and subjected to unthinkable tortures.
• “Meet the Robinsons” ( Animated Family Adventure ): A boy genius meets a mysterious stranger who offers to whisk him into the future using a time travel machine. Features the voices of Daniel Hansen, Wesley Singerman, Angela Bassett, Adam West (TV’s “Batman”) & Tom Selleck (“Las Vegas”).
• “Mr Brooks” ( Crime Thriller ): Kevin Costner plays a regular guy who at times becomes possessed by a psychotic alter-ego (William Hurt) and goes on bloody murderous rampages. Hot on his trail is a hottie cop (Demi Moore). Also co-stars “CSI’s” Marg Helgenberger.
• Also released TODAY: “Burt Lancaster: The Signature Collection”; “The L Word: The Complete 4th Season“; “NCIS: The 4th Season”; “Saw Trilogy”; “The Sopranos: Season 6, Part 2”; and “Warner Home Video Director’s Series: Stanley Kubrick” (“A Clockwork Orange)”; “Eyes Wide Shut”; “Full Metal Jacket”; “The Shining”; and “2001: A Space Odyssey”).

Scientists are working on a drug based on the chemicals found in the sweat of breast-feeding mothers that could boost the sex drive of women. University of Chicago Professor Martha McClintock, who is leading the study, thinks the drug could be used for the treatment of ‘disorders of desire’, something for which women have no effective treatment. (Other than closing their eyes and picturing Patrick Dempsey.)
– “The Times”

A new survey suggests the UK’s policy of providing subsidized dentistry through its National Health Service is not working. The falling numbers of publicly-funded dentists and exorbitant prices charged by private dentists have led many Brits to take things into their own hands … literally! One respondent has performed 14 separate tooth extractions on himself with pliers. Others admit they’ve used superglue to stick crowns back on. Overall, 20% of those surveyed have decided against getting dental work because of the cost, and 6% have resorted to self-dentistry. (If you sell dental insurance plans for a living, here’s a wide open market for you!)

California-based UFO investigator Preston Dennett has been compiling research on alien encounters for more than 20 years, during which he’s only found a handful of cases where aliens have reportedly spoken. He says aliens generally don’t seem to talk but when they do, they often repeat the same few phrases. The most common alien phrases reported by those claiming to have been abducted …
• “Do not be afraid, we won’t hurt you.”
• “You won’t remember this.”
• “We need babies.”
• “Our emotions are different than yours.”
• “We are from a place you don’t know about yet.”
• “We’ve been here a long, long time.”
• “It is very important we do this.”
NET: http://home.pacbell.net/prestone/
– “Llewellyn Journal”

Here’s a word to add to your vocabulary, ‘iatrogenic’ – illness or death caused by or aggravated by medical treatment. Experts now estimate that doctors are the 3rd-leading cause of death in North America, with about 225,000 deaths per year from iatrogenic causes. That number includes some 12,000 deaths per year from unnecessary surgery, 7,000 from medication errors in hospitals, 20,000 from other errors in hospitals, 80,000 from infections in hospitals, and a whopping 106,000 from adverse effects to medications. (Not to mention the 5 caused by ‘Izzie’ because she was distracted by ‘George’ waffling on their relationship.)
– “Curious Times”

If you get 30% of your calories from meat, dairy and poultry, as most North Americans do, your diet contributes more than 3,275 lbs of carbon dioxide to the environment each year. Go vegetarian and you’ll cut that in half.
– “Sacramento Bee”
• The 9.6 million ‘millionaire households’ in America own 34% of all global wealth.
– Boston Consulting Group

“I’ve never taken a drug in my life. I don’t curse. And I’ve never been drunk.”
– Rapper Chamillionaire, who apparently leads a life as clean as Paula Abdul’s.


1942 [65] Michael Crichton (‘CRY-ten’), Chicago IL, novelist (“Timeline“, “Jurassic Park”)/screenwriter (“Twister”, “Rising Sun”)/TV series creator/executive producer (“ER”)

1954 [53] Ang Lee, Pingtung, Taiwan, movie director/producer/writer (2006 Academy Award-“Brokeback Mountain”, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”)
1956 [51] Dwight Yoakam, Pikeville KY, country singer (“Fast As You”, “Guitars, Cadillacs”)/movie actor (“Wedding Crashers”, “Sling Blade”)

1959 [48] (Alfred Matthew) ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, Lynwood CA, parody singer (“White & Nerdy”, “Eat It”)

1964 [43] Robert Trujillo (Roberto Agustín Miguel Santiago Samuel Perez de la Santa Concepcion Trujillo Veracruz Batista), Culver City CA, rock bassist (Metallica-“St Anger”, “Frantic”)

1976 [31] Ryan Reynolds, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Smokin’ Aces”, “Van Wilder”)/formerly engaged to singer Alanis Morissette (2004-06)

1985 [22] Masiela Lusha, Tirana, Albania, TV actress (George’s teen daughter ‘Carmen’ on “George Lopez” since 2002, the only non-Hispanic actor in the cast)

• “Canning Day”, honoring the 1752 birth of French chef/chemist Nicolas Appert, who came up with the concept of sealing perishable food in jars. For this, he is known as ‘the father of canning’, but he also came up with many other inventions … including the bouillon cube.

• “Do-It-Yourself Day”, celebrating all the handy folks who spend time, money, and sweat on home repairs … just before calling in someone who knows what they’re doing. What’s the worst repair job you ever did?

• “TV Talk Show Host Day”, to celebrate those ‘gifted with the personality and intellect to enable them to bring out the best in their guests’. Based on that, which current TV host is best? And which should get canned? (An annual observance on the birth anniversary of late talk show host Johnny Carson in Corning, Iowa in 1925.)

1814 [193] 1st ‘Cosmetic Surgery’ performed (repairing the unsightly scar from an arrow through the head?)

1930 [77] 1st ‘Miniature Golf Tournament’, in Chattanooga TN (1st golfer swears at a windmill)

1977 [30] Wesley Paul runs the NYC Marathon in 3 hours & 31 minutes, about 48 minutes behind the winner … but 15 minutes faster than any other 8-year-old ever has!

[Wed] United Nations Day
[Wed] Bologna Day
[Thurs] Cartoonists Against Crime Day
[Thurs] International Greasy Foods Day
[Fri] Frankenstein Friday
[Sat] 22nd Gemini Awards (Regina)
[Sun] Mother-In-Laws Day
This Week Is … Canadian Healthy Workplace Week Kids Care Week
This Month Is … International Doll Collectors Month


Actual academic studies carried out and submitted for publication …
5. “Safe & Painless Manipulation of Penile Zipper Entrapment” (2005)
4. “Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans” (2002)
3. “Rectal Foreign Bodies: Case Reports & a Comprehensive Review of the World’s Literature” (1986)
2. “Love and Sex with Robots” (2007)
1. “The Effect of Country Music on Suicide” (1992)
– Oddee.com

If you could have had the starring role in a movie already made, which would you pick?

3 members of your crew each answers the question. Your contestant must pick the correct answer. Today’s question: How did photographers who hound the famous get the name ‘paparazzi’?
a. From the character ‘Paparazzo’, a photographer who rode a Vespa scooter in Federico Fellini’s classic 1960 film “La Dolce Vita”. [CORRECT. In one Italian dialect, the word means an annoying mosquito. Fellini went to school with a kid whose nickname was ‘Paparazzo’, due to his constant movement & chatter.]
b. From a type of Italian pasta called ‘Paparazzi’, which resembles small-grain rice and is infamous for sticking to clothing, napkins, tables … basically anything it comes in contact with, just like celeb photogs.
c. From the village of ‘Paparazzi’ in the picturesque Abruzzo area of Italy which was, at one time or another, home to virtually every painter of the Italian Renaissance era. The story goes that, with so many artists around, virtually every inhabitant, building & bit of scenery in the area was committed to canvas. Thus, if you were a local, odds are you’d were pictured by ‘Paparazzi’ artists.

If a sight is worth seeing, someone will build a highway to it.

Today’s Question: 57% of people who buy THIS item every year do it around this time.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A new daytimer.

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.

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