October 22, 2007

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Monday, October 22, 2007        Edition: #3638
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

• Late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel’s career as a color commentator on ESPN’s “Monday Night Football” has lasted just 2 Mondays. He’s been relieved of his duties after making a joke about Joe Theismann, who was fired last season. The remark was greeted with dead silence by the others in the broadcast booth and the show’s producer later called it ‘classless and disappointing’ before announcing Kimmel will not return. (You think they would have learned to stick with sports figures after the season-long Dennis Miller debacle in 2000.)
– “NY Times”
• Actress Eva Longoria has followed in Courteney Cox Arquette’s footsteps and officially tacked her new hubby Tony Parker’s last name onto her own, meaning the “Desperate Housewives” star is now known as Eva Longoria Parker … it’s in the credits of her show and everything. (Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it?)
– “E! News”
• While capping off a book tour at NYC’s Carnegie Hall, JK Rowling has revealed a secret never shared in her ‘Harry Potter’ books … ‘Albus Dumbledore’ was gay. It seems the brilliant wizard was briefly blinded as a young man by the charm and skill of ‘Gellert Grindelwald’, his companion turned arch-nemesis. That love, Rowling says, was ‘Dumbledore’s great tragedy. (The book series is finished and she’s still making up stuff.)
– “Newsweek”
• 36-year-old “Borat” star Sacha Baron Cohen & his 31-year-old Australian actress fiancée Isla Fisher (“Wedding Crashers“) have welcomed their first child together. No other details are available as the couple is keeping news about the family addition private. (Just think, someday he’ll be able to screen that charming motel room scene with his hairy friend ‘Azamat’ for his proud son … or daughter.)
– “Daily Mail”
• Courtney Love will be the executive producer of a new bio-pic about her husband, Kurt Cobain, late lead singer of Nirvana. The movie will based on the Charles Cross book, “Heavier Than Heaven”, which was written in 2001 using Cobain’s journals and hundreds of interviews. Love bought the film rights to the book and has struck a deal with Universal to make a movie using the same title. No casting has been announced, although both Canadian Ryan Goslin (“Fracture”) and Joe Anderson (“Across the Universe“) have been suggested as possible leads. (And playing Courtney Love? Amy Winehouse … or maybe Jenna Jameson?)
– “Variety”
• In his new book, “Inside Inside”, James Lipton, the 13-year host of “Inside the Actors Studio” (Bravo), reveals that as an impoverished young expat in Paris he eked out a living as a ‘meck’ … what we would call a pimp. Lipton claims he and his young girlfriend made a rather good living at it. (If you watch this show, you’ve got a really strange mental picture, right?)
– “Contact Music”
• Late opera legend Luciano Pavarotti died owing more than $24 million, including a bank overdraft of $14 million and $10 million in overdue mortgage payments. Italian newspaper “La Republica” reports there simply was no fortune of $400 million as originally thought and so there will be no family squabbles. (The good news is you’ve been named in the will, the bad news …)
– pr-inside.com
• The sudden mega-stardom of Miley Cyrus of Disney Channel’s “Hannah Montana” is being attributed to Disney’s ability to mobilize its numerous media units into an overpowering marketing campaign. Observers say every arm of the gigantic corporation has been working full tilt in a co-ordinated effort to guarantee her success. It’s also noted that, in recent years, Disney has been able to create its own little media world in which soundtracks from its shows like “Hannah”, “High School Musical” and “The Cheetah Girls” sell tens-of-millions of albums without getting any airplay whatsoever. (If you don’t have a daughter circa 8 to 10-years-old, odds are you have no idea what the heck we’re talking about.)
– “Time Magazine”

• Amy Winehouse – She, her husband, and a friend have been arrested and jailed overnight for marijuana possession in Bergen, Norway. They’ve been released after paying the equivalent of about $700 in fines. Amy then reportedly celebrating freedom by downing several glasses of champagne.
• Big & Rich – ‘Big Kenny’ & his wife just returned from Akon, Sudan where they delivered medical & school supplies, musical instruments, and clothing to a school for girls.
• Bon Jovi – Fans who’ve ponied up $50 to become members of the premium ‘Backstage With Jon Bon Jovi’ club have begun an online petition claiming they’re not getting what they paid for. Among the promised perks: contests, exclusive online chats & easier access to concert tickets.
• Britney Spears – In her latest screw-up, she’s apparently driven her car over the foot of a paparazzo. On the upside, he was from TMZ.com. No charges filed … yet. Meantime, she’s offered a personal apology as well as financial compensation (reportedly $1,000) to the owner of that car she dinged in a parking lot a while back in hopes of getting all charges dropped.
• The Eagles – OCTOBER 31st the reformed band will play a private gig in London where tickets  cost $1,900 … apiece. The one-off show at the Indigo2 venue (inside the O2 Arena) will be limited to 2,300 people.
• Keith Urban – Ellen DeGeneres’ much overblown doggie dilemma led to a last-minute cancellation of her end-of-the-week show taping. Rather than turn around and leave, scheduled guest Keith decided to perform a concert for the studio audience, which had also shown up expecting to see “Ellen”.
• Lionel Richie – Word has it he’s footing the bill for a more family-friendly home for his pregnant daughter Nicole Richie & her bf Joel Madden. So far, they’ve apparently been shacking up in the Good Charlotte rocker’s bachelor pad.
• TI – His lawyers have asked a federal judge to release the rapper on a $2.2 million-bond and allow him to be fitted with a monitoring device for home confinement while he awaits trial on federal weapons charges.

“Lions For Lambs” – TONIGHT this movie thriller about the war on terror has its world premiere at Britain’s “London Film Festival”. Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep & Robert Redford star as a congressman, a journalist & a professor who become entangled in events that occur behind enemy lines in Afghanistan. The film opens wide NOVEMBER 9th.

According to a recent study, aerosols and air fresheners used in the home can have adverse effects on the health of mothers and babies, as they can cause diarrhea and earache in youngsters and depression in mothers. Researchers have found that 32% more babies suffer from diarrhea in homes where air fresheners or aerosols such as deodorant, furniture polish and hairspray are used daily. (How ironic … you try to freshen the air and end up with a load of poopy diapers.)
– “The Sun”

Some industry analysts are blaming the release of the videogame “Halo 3” for the current dive in movie ticket sales. The weekend the video game was released and sold $300 million-worth of copies, the box office was down 27% in the worst performance for an OCTOBER weekend since 1999. A rep for research firm Janco Partners say the audience on the mega-selling game is the 18-to-34 demographic, similar to what you’d normally see in cinemas. It’s predicted the box-office slide could last for several weeks. (Here’s an idea to fix things ..make a really good movie!)
– “Advertising Age“

Mothers in a stable relationship are more likely to give birth to a boy. The National Bureau of Economic Research has found that the living arrangements of parents at the time a baby is conceived may play an important role in determining its gender. The findings support the biological theory that the gender of offspring may vary according to environmental conditions. (So instability equals females? You’d have a tough time selling that one around here.)
– BBC News

Parents away on a business trip can feel they’re almost at home with a new wheeled robot called ‘ConnectR’. Picture this: controlled remotely, the new bot rolls into the kids’ bedroom, where the children open a book in front of its camera. The parent then reads the story aloud and watches and hears the children’s reaction. The ‘ConnectR’ will also allow the family to converse. Its manufacturer, iRobot, says the device will become widely available NEXT YEAR. (What’s really cool about a mechanical nanny … no tipping!)
– “Denver Post”

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 67% of us believe ghosts might be real, but only 15% think that about vampires. (They’re just a pain-in-the-neck anyway.)
• 50% of single women expect to meet the man of their dreams … at work. (Yeah, that bald fat guy in sales … mmm!)
• 49% of us say we’ve gained weight at our current job. (Apparently 51% have done it elsewhere.)
• 45% of us snore occasionally; 25% do it all the time. (Meaning 25% have bruised ribs from pointy elbows.)
• 39% of parents say they hate handing out Halloween candy. (They want it all for themselves!)
• 27% of us have sent food back at a restaurant. (And then been served an improved ‘bodily fluids’ version.)

• The biggest category of spam email is ‘pharmaceuticals’, making up 30%.
– CommTouch.com
• Fantasy baseball was once known as ‘Rotisserie League Baseball’ because the idea came into being at a NYC restaurant called La Rotisserie Francaise.
– “Mental Floss”

“I don’t think it’s true that humor is one of the most important things to women … or I would have been much more successful with women.”
– Jerry Seinfeld, bemoaning his lack of female companionship in his single days.


1938 [69] Christopher Lloyd, Stamford CT, movie actor (“Back to the Future 1-3”)

1952 [55] Jeff Goldblum, Pittsburgh PA, TV actor (“Raines“)/movie actor (“Independence Day”, “Jurassic Park”)

1968 [39] Shaggy (Orville Richard Burrell), Kingston, Jamaica, reggae singer (“Angel”, “It Wasn’t Me”)

1968 [39] Shelby Lynne (Moorer), Quantico VA, country singer (“Killing Kind”, “Things Are Tough All Over”)

• “Barber Day”, honoring those scissor-handed folks who run clip joints.

• “Holy See Day” in Vatican City, the tiny country’s national day.

• “International School Library Day”, the 9th annual celebrated on the 4th MONDAY in OCTOBER to honor the place students so often use … to serve out detentions.
NET: http://www.iasl-online.org/events/isld/2007isld/

• “Nut Day”. Ask anyone to name a nut and most will start their list with ‘peanut’, which isn’t a nut at all, it’s a legume. Definition of a nut: a hard, dry, indehiscent fruit formed from 2 or more carpels but containing only 1 seed.

1939 [68] 1st ‘Televised Pro Football Game’ features Brooklyn Dodgers beating Philadelphia Eagles 23-14, picked up by a total of 500 TV sets

1942 [65] Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” hits #1 on record charts and stays there for 11 weeks (becomes biggest-selling single of all-time until Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind 1997” knocks it off)

1969 [38] Due to the persistent ‘Paul is dead’ rumors, Paul McCartney declares publicly that he is alive and well

1897 [110] 1st ‘Used Car Dealership’ opens, in London UK (and the 1st tires are kicked)

1938 [69] 1st ‘Photocopy’ made by inventor Charles Floyd Carlson of Astoria NY (next day, the 1st photocopy of an employee’s butt)

1995 [12] ‘Largest Gathering of World Leaders’ in history marks the 50th anniversary of the United Nations in NYC

[Tues] Canned Food Day
[Tues] TV Talk Show Host Day
[Tues] Carrie Underwood releases “Carnival Ride” album
[Wed] United Nations Day
[Wed] Bologna Day
[Thurs] International Greasy Foods Day
[Fri] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Sat] 22nd Gemini Awards (Regina)

Chemistry Week / Cleaner Air Week / Consumers Week / Food Bank Week / Forest Products Week / Health Education Week / Hug-A-Vending Machine Week / Infection Prevention Week / Kids Care Week / Magic Week / Massage Therapy Week / Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week / Respiratory Care Week / Save Your Back Week / Toastmasters Week / YWCA Week Without Violence


Got a date for a costume party? Here are some ideas for hot Halloween twosomes …
• ‘Jim & Pam’ or ‘Dwight & Angela’ (with stuffed cat) from “The Office“.
• ‘Ben’ & pregnant ‘Allison’ (Seth Rogen & Katherine Heigl) from “Knocked Up“.
• Verbally-abusive actor Alec Baldwin & his long-suffering daughter Ireland.
• ‘Battling’ rappers Kanye West & 50 Cent.
• “Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria & NBA star husband Tony Parker.
• ‘It’ Brits David & Victoria Beckham.
• Actor Tom Cruise & (shackled) wife Katie Holmes.
• Gene Simmons & Shannon Tweed of “Family Jewels” fame..
• Shock rocker Marilyn Manson & his much younger gf Evan Rachel Wood.
• UK singer Amy Winehouse & her equally hard-partying hubby Blake Fielder-Civil.
– “The Rundown“

Which personality trait do you and your pet share?

I’ve told you like 2 million times … stop exaggerating!

Wow, there are “30 Ways to Eat a Pumpkin”. Who knew? Pumpkin Beer anyone?
NET: http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/43189/30-ways-to-eat-a-pumpkin

Today’s Question: The more money a mom makes, the less time she spends doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Reading to her children.

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

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