Wednesday, October 10, 2007 Edition: #3631
Get a Load of This Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
42-year-old “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher is writing a follow-up book to her “Burnt Toast: And Other Philosophies Of Life” that will deal less with her own life and more with ‘women in our society who wear so many different hats’ (ah, a fashion book then?) . . . 36-year-old “Desperate Housewives” actor Ricardo Chavira (‘Carlos Solis‘) has wed longtime girlfriend Marcea Dietzel in a private ceremony featuring their 4-year-old son Tomas as both ‘Best Man’ & ’Ring Bearer’ (both bride & groom wore – pajamas!) . . . TV chef Gordon Ramsay’s NYC restaurant, ‘Gordon Ramsay at the London’, is 1 of just 6 in the city to be awarded 2-out-of-3 stars in the new “Michelin Guide New York City 2008” (it gets 3-out-of-3 stars for ‘Loudest Kitchen’) . . . Just hours after leaving Cirque Lodge rehab center, Lindsay Lohan has told “OK! Magazine” (on stands FRIDAY) that she’s settling in the Utah mountains so she can stay focused and avoid distractions, and will only leave to shoot her next film “Dare to Love Me” (oh oh!) . . . After Beyoncé’s recent concert cancellation, Malaysian authorities have reiterated the country’s strict code for stage performers: no bare skin from the chest to the knees; clothing can not have obscene or drug-related messages or images; profanity is banned, as is hugging or kissing members of the audience or anyone on stage (and there’s no running in the halls!).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Brad Paisley – He’s extending his “Bonfires & Amplifiers” into early 2008, including a FEBRUARY 15th stop in Nashville TN.
• Jo Dee Messina – The ”My Give a Damn’s Busted” singer completed the Chicago Marathon on the weekend in a time of 5:45:48, not bad considering extremely humid weather forced many runners to quit, and one actually collapsed and died.
• John Mayer – The 29-year-old says he’s so scared of getting older, he cries on his birthday.
• Nine Inch Nails – They’ve announced they’ve left their record company and are now officially ‘free agents‘.
• Paul McCartney – Word is he’ll never perform “Ebony & Ivory” again after it topped a BBC poll as the ‘Worst Duet in History’. He teamed up on the tune with Stevie Wonder in 1982.
• The Police – Andy Summers says they may produce a new album once they complete their reunion tour, although they’ve not yet discussed it in any detail.
• Spice Girls – For their upcoming tour, they’ll be leasing a Boeing 757 they’ve nicknamed ‘Spice Force One’. It will be decked out with a media center, a team of chefs & nannies, and, of course, a make-up parlor.
• Triumph – Guitarist Rik Emmett has strongly hinted a reunion is in the works with former bandmates Gil Moore & Mike Levine. The Canadian rockers were popular in the late 1970s and throughout the ‘80s.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Kelly Clarkson – Her cancelled summer arena tour-turned-fall theater tour kicks off in Verona NY, a warm-up for dates later THIS WEEK in Atlantic City NJ and NYC.
• LeAnn Rimes – She’s on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Modest Mouse – They drop in on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Plain White T’s – They perform their new single “Our Time Is Now” on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Queens Of The Stone Age – They do “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Sara Evans – She guests on “Good Morning America” (ABC).
• Taylor Swift – She’s a guest on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Bin Party’ – Getting high by stealing a garbage bin, setting it afire, and immersing your head inside to inhale the thick black smoke. Health watchdogs in the UK are warning that inhaling the lethal fumes which contain chemical toxins can be more dangerous than sniffing glue or gas.
• ‘Crowd Farming’ – Harnessing the energy generated by large groups of people, ie: the motion of turnstiles used by commuters walking through a subway station.
• ‘Multi-Dadding’ – Having multiple children with multiple men. (“What’s up with all your multi-dadding, Gwen? Who do your think you are, Madonna?”)
BEST MUSIC VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME:
According to one ranking, these are the best music video ever made …
1. Queen – “Bohemian Rhapsody”
2. Michael Jackson – “Thriller”
3. Justin Timberlake – “Cry Me A River”
– Contact Music
TOP CHEATING SONGS OF ALL-TIME:
Based on an new online poll …
1. “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” – Marvin Gaye
2. “Your Cheatin’ Heart” – Hank Williams
3. “Tempted” – Squeeze
– “Rolling Stone”
ALL-TIME WORST LYRICISTS:
According to a survey in “Blender” magazine’s NOVEMBER issue …
1. Sting (The Police)
2. Neil Peart (Rush)
3. Scott Stapp (Creed)
IS THE SWISS ARMY PHONE NEXT?
A new Japanese ‘Fitness Phone’ keeps track of your pulse, the number of steps you’ve taken in a day, and even dispenses heath advice after you’ve punched in personal stats such as gender, age, and weight. (Should a fitness phone charge you for ‘roaming’?)
IT’S NOT JUST IN COFFEE ANYMORE:
Estimates are anywhere from 55-to-90% of us consume caffeine every day. And now we’re getting our fix in numerous ways: energy drinks like ‘Red Bull’, plus caffeine-infused gum, lip balm, mints, beer, candy, sunflower seeds, even soap … which is supposed to provide its caffeine boost through the skin. There’s also a product called ‘Blow’, a white caffeine-based powder marketed in vials. (It’s meant to be stirred into water or other drinks, not snorted.)
– “Time Magazine”
An Indian entrepreneur has given a new twist to the concept of low-cost airlines. The passengers boarding his Airbus 300 in Delhi do not expect to go anywhere because … it never takes off. All they want is the chance to know what it is like to sit on a plane, listen to announcements, and be waited on by attendants. In a country where 99% of the population has never experienced air travel, the ‘virtual journeys’ sold by retired Indian Airlines engineer Bahadur Chand Gupta have proven a roaring success. (Do you have to fasten your seatbelt?)
– “Times of London”
BS LAW & DISORDER:
• On the Mosquito Coast of Nicaragua & Honduras, villagers have had their frugal existence transformed thanks to large qualities of Columbian cocaine washing up onshore. Nicknamed ‘white lobster’ by the locals, the drug packages are collected and sold, enabling them to build expensive brick houses and install satellite TV. A local official says they consider it a ‘divine gift’. (Sort of a “White Christmas”.)
• In Pittsburgh PA, an unidentified man is cooling his heels in Allegheny County Jail after entering a supermarket and demanding the cashier give him change for … a million-dollar bill. When the employee refused and a manager confiscated the bogus bill, the man flew into a rage. Apparently he didn’t know that, since 1969, the $100 bill is the largest note in circulation in America. (They also don’t take anything with a picture of ‘Rich Uncle Pennybags’.)
THE GO-AWAY GRANT:
The Italian government is set to hand out money to help … mommy’s boys leave home. The move comes after economists discovered that close to 60% of young-adult Italians are staying home and not marrying, meaning they aren’t having children or building homes of their own. The provision in the 2008 budget to encourage young people to move out could end up costing the country close to $3 billion. (A cheaper alternative: take away the car keys and they’ll leave in no time.)
– Ananova News Service
Have you noticed? Today’s kids routinely hug each other, even if it’s just to say hello or goodbye. And it seems to be a trend in countries worldwide. Some middle-school students say they get as many as 60 hugs a day. A spokesman for Teen Research Unlimited says the trend is widespread not just localized, and teens are way out in front of popular culture with the fad. Schools from Des Moines, Iowa to Cornwall, England have been banning hugging, if only because it blocks hallways. (Isn’t it preferable to drug deals and stabbings?)
– “Chicago Tribune”
BS AMAZING FACT:
The average household receives about 104 TV channels … but only watches 16 of them on a regular basis.
BS CHRONOMETER 10.10.07
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954  David Lee Roth, Bloomington IN, classic rock singer (“Just Like Paradise”, Van Halen-“Panama”, “Jump”)/failed radio broadcaster
1958  Tanya Tucker, Seminole TX, country singer (“Down to My Last Teardrop”, “Delta Dawn”)
1959  Bradley Whitford, Madison WI, TV actor (“Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip” 2006-07, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)/married to TV actress Jane Kaczmarek (“Malcolm in the Middle” 2000-06)
1967  Mike Malinin, Washington DC, rock musician (Goo Goo Dolls-“Give A Little Bit”, “Iris”)
1969  Brett Favre [‘farv’], Gulfport MS, NFL QB (Green Bay Packers since 1992)/1996 Super Bowl Champion/3-time NFL MVP/NFL records for ‘Career Pass Attempts’; ‘Career Pass Completions’; ‘Career TD Passes’; and ‘Career Wins as a Starting QB’
1969  Wendi McLendon-Covey, Bellflower CA, TV actress (‘Deputy Clementine Johnson’ on “Reno 911!” since 2003)
1972  Dean Roland, Stockbridge GA, rock singer/guitarist (Collective Soul-“Better Now”, “Shine”)
1973  Mario Lopez, San Diego CA, TV personality (“Dancing with the Stars” 2006, “Saved By The Bell” 1989-94)
1974  Dale Earnhardt Jr, Kannapolis NC, NASCAR racing driver (2004 “Daytona 500” winner, 2000 “Winston Cup” winner)/sometime movie actor (“Cars”, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”)/son of NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt (1951-2001)
1979  Mya (Harrison), Washington DC, pop singer (“Lady Marmalade”, “Case Of the Ex”)/movie actress (“Shall We Dance”, “Chicago”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Angel Food Cake Day”, honoring the dessert every starving dieter touts as being ‘fat-free’ … and then inhales in its entirety.
• “International Emergency Nurses Day”, saluting the dedication and commitment of emergency nursing professionals, who bring care, comfort, and compassion to patients. The annual event is observed in Australia, Canada, and the USA.
• “International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction”, observed annually on the 2nd WEDNESDAY of OCTOBER to promote disaster prevention and preparedness.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1992  HBO pays $20 million for the rights to broadcast Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous” concert from Bucharest, Romania
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1886  1st appearance of a ‘Tuxedo’ as Griswold Lorillard wears a coat with satin lapels to a ball in Tuxedo Park NY
1933  1st packaged ‘Laundry Detergent’ (Procter & Gamble’s ‘Dreft’)
1966  The floor game “Twister” is introduced by Milton Bradley (try the new ‘Hot Oil Edition’)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1976  Greece’s 98-year-old Dimitrion Yordanidis becomes ‘Oldest Person to Complete a Marathon’ (he was even older when he finally finished 7 hours, 33 minutes later)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Dessert Day
[Fri] Nobel Peace Prize winner announced
[Sat] Ramadan ends (Muslim)
[Sat] VQA Wine Day
[Sat] International Rock-Paper-Scissors Championships (Toronto)
[Sat] BET Hip Hop Awards (Atlanta)
This Week Is … International Letter Writing Week
This Month Is … Kitchen & Bath Month
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• What if the “Hokey Poky” really IS what it’s all about?
• Why don’t tire stores have blowout sales?
• How come rodeos never have ‘cow riding’ events for women?
• Why do they charge us more money for a car with a hole in the roof?
• How do you know when a soccer player is really injured?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• You’ve just finished eating a gourmet meal at a restaurant in Paris. The leftovers are just too tempting to leave behind. So what do you call a ‘doggy bag’ in France?
a. Un sac au chien.
b. Le package du yum-yum.
c. You can’t say that. [CORRECT. There is no custom of having leftovers packed to take with you, hence there is simply no word for it.]
You’re playing golf and through some kind of supernatural magic you manage to shoot 4-under-par on a hole. What’s that called?
a. A ‘pigeon’.
b. A ‘condor’. [CORRECT. Also known as a ‘vulture’, ‘triple-eagle’ or ‘double-albatross’.]
c. Rectal horseshoes.
BS PHONE STARTER:
How do you react when your computer malfunctions? (According to a new survey, 32% simply shrug it off; 19% say they feel impelled to throw it out the nearest window; 11% speak to the computer using abusive language, 9% feel ‘stranded & alone’; and 3% take their anger out on inanimate objects.)
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Money can’t buy happiness. It can, however, buy cool shoes.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Sweden uses more of THIS food product per capita than any other country.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Ketchup.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s easy to be pious when no one wants to have sex with you.