Monday, October 23, 2006 Edition: #3392
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• TONIGHT actors Jennifer Aniston, Edie Falco, and Matt Dillon are among those participating in the benefit event “The 24 Hour Plays” on Broadway in NYC. The slapdash, fast-paced workshop has writers, actors & directors competing against the clock to produce six 10-minute plays after just 1 day of writing, casting and rehearsal. The results will be unveiled at the American Airlines Theatre at 8 pm. Proceeds support arts education in NYC schools.
– “People”
• Brit model Kate Moss is reportedly expecting a baby with her oft-rehabbed rocker boyfriend Pete Doherty. She’s expected to make an official announcement in the next few weeks. The odd couple are said to be delighted by the news and plan to wed as soon as possible.
– “Contact Music”
• Meantime, Kate Moss has reportedly been pushed and groped by over-zealous fans as she tried to exit a Pete Doherty gig in Italy. It appeared she suffered cut wrists while surrounded in a scrum as she tried to exit the Flog Club in Florence. She had just performed a tune on stage with her beau.
– “The Sun”
• Actor Wesley Snipes has yet to be arrested on 8 counts of tax fraud because he is in Africa filming a movie. Word is he’s in Namibia in the 3rd week of shooting an action film entitled “Gallowwalker”. He’s facing up to 16 years behind bars if found guilty of the tax offenses, which total nearly $12 million.
– “NY Daily News”
• Female fans may be disappointed to hear that Hollywood heartthrob Dougray Scott has proposed to his girlfriend, actress Claire Forlani. Scott plays Teri Hatcher’s new love interest ‘Ian Kavanaugh’ on this season of “Desperate Housewives” (ABC).
– “USA Today”
• Having already appeared in the box-office bomb “House of Wax”, Paris Hilton is said to be trying to distance herself from another movie fiasco, “National Lampoon’s Pledge This”, which was set for release earlier THIS MONTH. After she bowed out of a scheduled premiere in Chicago due to ‘other commitments’, producers rescheduled for this SATURDAY. One insider says the movie is horrific, a limited release that will likely go straight to video.
– “Page Six”
• Could Isaiah Washington’s hateful tirade be the end of his job on “Grey’s Anatomy”? Insiders says Washington’s days of playing ‘Dr Preston Burke’ may be numbered after he used the word ‘faggot’ to refer to gay cast mate, TR Knight, while involved in a recent on-set fight with co-star Patrick Dempsey.
– “In Touch Weekly”
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chamillionire – TONIGHT he appears on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Jessica Simpson – TONIGHT she guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel)
• Keith Urban – All his scheduled appearances have been postponed after he checked into a rehab center with wife Nicole Kidman by his side. He has been this route before, as evidenced by his 2002 tune about drug addiction, “You’re Not My God”.
• Madonna – Bowing to a massive letter-writing campaign by the American Family Association, NBC-TV has decided to edit out the crucifixion scene from her 2-hour concert special scheduled to air NOVEMBER 22nd.
• Maroon 5 – Word has it frontman (and infamous ladies’ man) Adam Levine has been quietly dating actress Jessica Biel (“Elizabethtown”, “7th Heaven”) for the last few weeks.
• Paul McCartney – He’s begun a process to trademark his name for use on goods as wide-ranging as pantyhose, waistcoats (vests) and vegetarian food.
• Melissa Etheridge – She & partner Tammy Lynn Michaels are the new parents of twins, Miller Steven (a boy) & Johnnie Rose (a girl). The babies, conceived via an anonymous sperm bank donor, join Etheridge’s other misnamed children with former partner Julie Cypher: Bailey Jean (a girl) and Beckett (a boy).
• Rolling Stones – Some fans are claiming online that long-haired 59-year-old guitarist Ronnie Wood is actually bald. Surprised?
• Sara Evans – Her estranged husband Craig Schelske has now filed court papers alleging that she had an affair which he only found out about the day before she filed for divorce. Meantime, Kenny Chesney is angrily denying reports that he’s that ‘other man’. It just keeps getting uglier!
• Toni Braxton – She had to leave the stage during one of her recent shows at the Flamingo in Las Vegas after breaking into tears while talking about her 5-year-old son who is apparently autistic. It’s the first time she’s discussed the subject in public.
STEEP STOGIE:
The world’s most expensive cigar, the Cohiba Behike [‘co-HEE-buh bay-HEE-kay’], has been unveiled by Altadis, the exclusive importer of Cuban cigars into Spain. The upscale brand can only be purchased in special humidors containing 40 cigars costing $18,860 … the equivalent of $440 each. They are handmade by the same pair of hands, belonging to Norma Fernandez, a senior ‘torcedora’ (cigar-roller) who’s plied her trade for 39 years at the El Laguito factory in Havana. She rolled all 4,000 of the limited edition cigars celebrating Cohiba’s 40th anniversary. Is it the world’s best cigar? Nobody knows because they are so precious no one has actually lit one up yet. (Makes the old movie trick of lighting a cigarette off a C-note seem cheap!)
– Reuters
THE DOPE ON DIETING:
• The time of day you eat, how much you eat and how full you get are all genetically determined, according to a Georgia State University study. Behavioral scientist John de Castro concludes that changing these factors is equivalent to trying to change one’s breathing. (So go ahead and have another Three Musketeers bar, porky.)
• Dieting can make you forgetful! A study in “New Scientist” shows that constantly thinking about what you can and cannot eat causes so much stress, it reduces your memory. (The reason you always forget about the other 6 doughnuts you just ate.)
THE NAKED TRUTH:
According to a researcher who spent 2 years working ‘undercover’ at a nudist resort, the same social distinctions and hang-ups exist in nudist camps that are found in the outside world. Anthropologist & writer Ellen Woodall says she has often observed nudists forming cliques, gossiping, and making judgments about others’ physical appearance. (One major difference, in nudist camps it’s much more unpleasant to come across your neighbor tending a flower bed.)
– AP
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• In Massachusetts, in order to avoid ‘hitting and inappropriate touching’ on the playground, Willett Elementary School in the town of Attleboro has banned … the game of tag. (And to prevent students from sassing teachers, they’ve banned breathing.)
• In China, Xiamen [‘shah-MIN’] University is now preparing economics and computer software majors for the business world by requiring them to take … golf lessons. (“Crap, I just got a bogie and a C- in one stroke!”)
• In Germany, a lawyer is offering to sue the federal government on behalf of those who’ve been … abducted by aliens. Jens Lorek hopes to take advantage of a German law which gives state compensation to kidnap victims. (If the anal probe doesn’t fit, you must acquit.)
GETTING YOUR BUTT TO WORK:
Researchers in India are working on beneficial alternative uses for the tobacco plant. According to scientists at the Central Tobacco Research Station, tobacco may be useful as a high-protein diet supplement, a healing agent for burn victims, and even as a hypo-allergenic formula for babies. The bio-engineers claim to already successfully used tobacco in the preparation of antibiotics, vaccines, anti-cancer drugs, blood substitutes, biodegradable plastics and industrial enzymes. (Tobacco can also be used to make your fingers into Cheesies.)
– NewIndPress.com
JUST WHAT IS SCARY?
David Ropeik of the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis claims the way we respond to risk has more to do with our feelings of fear than with facts. For instance …
• We dread new, unexplored or unpredictable threats, such as global climate change, water contamination, and bird flu. (The very thought of them makes you wanna take comfort in something familiar … like a cancer stick.)
• We are programmed to fear for our children much more than for ourselves. (The reason you make your kid put on a coat when you’re the one that’s cold.)
• We fear the risks that can kill us in horror-movie fashion, such as being cut up by a chainsaw. (We’re less afraid of real dangers because there’s never been a movie called “Obese!”)
• We become obsessed with perils that are constantly paraded before us in the news. (Terrorism … nuclear bombs … open-minded liberals, etc.)
– “Risk: A Practical Guide for Deciding What’s Really Safe & What’s Really Dangerous in the World Around You”
BS AMAZING FACT:
India has never invaded any country in her last 10,000 years of history.
HE SAID IT:
“I hope the fact that I’m gay isn’t the most interesting part of me.”
– 33-year-old “Grey’s Anatomy” actor TR Knight (‘Dr George O’Malley’), sneaking out of the closet.
SHE SAID IT:
“I think reality truly has not set in. She wanted to know if she could take him home and give him a warm bath.”
– Undertaker Loretta Butler-Turner on Anna Nicole Smith’s unhinged behavior at her son Daniel’s funeral in the Bahamas.
THE BULL SHEET 10.23.06
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [64] Michael Crichton (CRY-ten), Chicago IL, novelist (“Jurassic Park”)/screenwriter (“Twister”)/TV series creator/executive producer (“ER”)
1954 [52] Ang Lee, Pingtung, Taiwan, movie director/producer/writer (2006 Academy Award-“Brokeback Mountain”, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”)
1956 [50] Dwight Yoakam, Pikeville KY, country singer (“Fast As You”, “Guitars, Cadillacs”)/movie actor (“Wedding Crashers”, “Sling Blade”)
1959 [47] (Alfred Matthew) ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, Lynwood CA, parody singer (“White & Nerdy”) FACTOID: Hard to believe but his latest, “Straight Outta Lynwood”, debuted at #10 on the “Billboard” album chart.
1976 [30] Ryan Reynolds, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Amityville Horror”, “Blade: Trinity”)/formerly engaged to singer Alanis Morissette (2004-06) until splitting in JUNE
1985 [21] Masiela Lusha, Tirana, Albania, TV actress (George’s teen daughter ‘Carmen’ on “George Lopez” since 2002, the only non-Hispanic actor in the cast)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canning Day”, honoring the 1752 birth of French chef/chemist Nicolas Appert, who came up with the concept of sealing perishable food in jars. For this, he is known as ‘the father of canning’, but he also came up with many other inventions … including the bouillon cube.
• “Do-It-Yourself Day”, celebrating all the handy folks who spend time, money and sweat on home repairs … just before calling in someone who knows what they’re doing. What’s the worst repair job you ever did?
• “International School Library Day”, the 8th annual celebrated on the 4th Monday in October to honor the place students so often use … to serve out detentions.
NET: http://www.iasl-slo.org/isld.html
• “TV Talk Show Host Day”, to celebrate those ‘gifted with the personality and intellect to enable them to bring out the best in their guests’. Based on that, which current TV host is best? And which should get canned? (An annual observance on the birth anniversary of late talk show host Johnny Carson in Corning, Iowa in 1925.)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1814 [192] 1st ‘Cosmetic Surgery’ performed (repairing the unsightly scar from an arrow through the head?)
1930 [76] 1st ‘Miniature Golf Tournament’, in Chattanooga TN (1st golfer swears at a windmill)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [29] Wesley Paul runs the NYC Marathon in 3 hours 31 minutes, 48 minutes behind the winner – but 15 minutes faster than any other 8-YEAR-OLD has ever run it!
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Ramadan ends (Muslim)
[Tues] United Nations Day
[Tues] Bologna Day
[Wed] World Pasta Day
[Wed] International Greasy Foods Day
[Fri] Cranky Co-Workers Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Canadian Healthy Workplace Week / Kids Care Week / Pastoral Care Week / Celebrate Job Loss Week / Give Wildlife a Break Week / Save Your Back Week / Disarmament Week / Prescription Errors Education & Awareness Week
BULL’S BITS
WHAT YOUR COMPUTER PASSWORD SAYS ABOUT YOU:
Your password may reveal a clue to your personality. According to a recent survey, most computer users take inspiration from their personal life. The poll finds 4 distinct categories when it comes to picking passwords …
• ‘Family’: Fully 48% choose names, nicknames or birth dates of those close to them.
• ‘Fans’: 32% pick movie, sports or cartoon names for their password.
• ‘Fantasists’: 11% use some sort of wished-for description of themselves (ie: ‘s-t-u-d’) that likely doesn’t apply whatsoever.
• ‘Cryptics’: They make up the smallest group of less than 9%. In an attempt to confuse and confound, these security conscious users pick obscure passwords that mix letters, numbers and punctuation.
– BBC
BS PHONE STARTER:
Which Hollywood celeb would you want to adopt you?
BS ‘WHICH IS MORE’ TRIVIA:
Q: Which travels faster … a flashy red Cardinal in full flight or a fastball thrown by Detroit Tiger Joel Zumaya?
A: Cardinals fly at 16-to-21 mph. Zumaya has had fastballs clocked at an unofficial MLB record of 104 mph.
Q: Which is older … movie star Angelina Jolie or the ‘Slinky’ kids’ toy?
A: The ‘Slinky’ made its debut walking down a flight of stairs 61 years ago TODAY in 1945. Angelina didn’t show up until 1975.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
To some it’s just a 6-pack, to me it’s a support group.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A recruitment expert says you should never try and do THIS during a job interview.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Be funny.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
