Thursday, October 19, 2006 Edition: #3390
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
LAST NIGHT rock ‘n roll pioneer Chuck Berry celebrated his 80th birthday with a dinner party followed by a late-night performance of his greatest hits (word is he still ‘duck-walks’ but sometimes forgets the words to his own songs) . . . TODAY video clips, pictures and recordings from 26 of the artists at THIS SUMMER’s “Lollapalooza” in Chicago IL are available for download on iTunes . . . Hotel heiress Nicky Hilton has dumped her boyfriend, “Entourage” star Kevin Connolly, after dating for 2 years, apparently because she suspected he’d been unfaithful (there goes your meal ticket, dude!) . . . Australian actress Naomi Watts has reportedly been offered the lead role in a remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 horror classic “The Birds”, about a series of vicious attacks by birds in a small California town (no word yet on who her hen-pecked co-star will be) . . . After a recent location-finding trip to the Sahara Desert, actor Matt Damon was moved to co-found the organization ‘H2OAfrica’ to help raise awareness and support for much-needed clean-water programs in the area (Africa has become the chic new Hollywood accessory) . . . And former Spice Girl Melanie Brown (‘Scary’) is said to be 4-months pregnant with actor-boyfriend Eddie Murphy’s baby, which would be his 8th child via 4 different mothers (sounds like “Daddy Day Care 3” is gonna be in the works).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ben Folds – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Night With Conan O’ Brien” (NBC).
• Kevin Federline – TONIGHT he’s a guest on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel). Just a warning.
• The Killers – TODAY they’re on “Intimate & Interactive” (MuchMusic).
• Ruben Studdard – He’s lost 70 pounds with the help of the Duke Diet & Fitness Center, where he’s learned to change his eating habits. Hardest thing to give up? Fried chicken.
• Tim McGraw – THIS WEEK he sure has a busy sched: launching his new record label with his own soundtrack release; getting his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; and then having his new movie “Flicka” open FRIDAY.
• U2 – Bono has testified at an appeals court in Dublin, Ireland in a hearing against the band’s former fashion consultant Lola Cashman, whom the group alleges stole personal items and has been trying to sell them. A lower court already ruled that she must return the items, but she’s dragged it out by filing an appeal.
• Xzibit – TONIGHT he guests on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
NEW WONDERS TO BEHOLD:
An online project instigated by a non-profit Swiss foundation to pick “Seven New Wonders of the World” is moving along on schedule. About 20 million votes have already been counted to reduce a list of nearly 200 nominees to just 21. Among the locations now short-listed for the worldwide vote …
• Acropolis – Athens, Greece
• Colosseum – Rome, Italy
• Easter Island Statues – Chile
• Eiffel Tower – Paris, France
• Great Wall – China
• Statue of Liberty – NYC New York
• Stonehenge – Amesbury UK
• Sydney Opera House – Australia
• Taj Mahal – Agra, India
• Pyramids – Giza, Egypt (the last of the original ancient “Seven Wonders” still standing)
The final results and “Seven New Wonders” will be announced on July 7, 2007 (7/7/7) in Lisbon, Portugal.
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … laughter is as effective as aerobic exercise in the prevention of heart disease. A study at the University of Maryland School of Medicine finds that people with heart disease respond with less humor to everyday life situations than those without. (Well of course … they’ve got heart disease for heaven’s sake!)
• Scientists say … coffee may help protect against cirrhosis of the liver. According to a study in the “Archives of Internal Medicine”, the more coffee a person consumes the less risk they seem to have of being hospitalized or dying of alcoholic cirrhosis. (That’s because you’re shaking so much you can’t get a bottle to your lips.)
• Scientists say … college students who started drinking before the age of 13 are twice as likely to have unplanned or unprotected sex than those who didn’t drink until after the age of 19. (Gee, wonder if there is a connection?)
IS THE ‘SOCIAL EXPERIMENT’ OVER?
The tribes may have merged on “Survivor: Cook Islands” (CBS/Global) but the show’s diverse cast is getting less diverse with every passing week. 5 people have now been voted off, and all 5 White people and all 5 Asians remain. What does this mean? Perhaps nothing, but here’s the breakdown so far of those voted off by original ethnic tribe membership …
• Aitu (Latino): 3
• Hiki (Black): 2
• Puka (Asian): 0
• Raro (White): 0
– “Reality Blurred”
Classic movies that had the most influence on the way contemporary men dress …
3. “Ocean’s 11″ – The 1960 original film that featured Hollywood’s infamous ‘Rat Pack’: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford, et al.
2. “Breathless” (“A Bout De Souffle”) – French director Jean-Luc Godard’s 1960 film which starred the dapper Jean-Paul Belmondo.
1. “North by Northwest” – Alfred Hitchcock’s 1959 thriller that starred Cary Grant.
MICKEY MOUSE MEALS:
The Walt Disney Co has announced it will begin serving more nutritionally balanced meals at its theme parks and will sign movie and other endorsement deals only with restaurants that limit fat and sugar in menu items. The company will implement the new guidelines over the next several years as current contracts expire.
– Associated Press
A common sneeze causes about 15 seconds of snorting and grimacing. During that time, a driver traveling at 50 mph is partially blinded and dazed for – 400 yards! So what are you supposed to do if you feel a sneeze coming on while driving? AAA recommends pressing a finger against the upper lip, or smacking a thigh soundly. (Does it have to be your own?)
THERE GOES THE NIEGHBORHOOD:
Ric Griffith of Kenova WV is putting together a backyard Halloween display of 3,000 carved pumpkins with computer-synchronized lights inside that will flash on and off to the thunderous sounds of the “1812 Overture”.
WOMEN VS MEN:
According to a survey of 400 psychiatrists, women generally find a man’s personality to be his most appealing trait, followed by his interest in her, his facial appearance, body proportions and signs of success. Men, on the other hand, think a woman’s body proportions are her most attractive feature, followed by her facial appearance, personality and her interest in him. (Women are right, men ARE shallow.)
– “Psychology Today”
98% of women surveyed in a magazine poll say their partners have no clue when they’re ‘faking it’. According to the poll, the most popular methods of faking include ‘moaning’, ‘writhing around’, ‘yelling & screaming’, and ‘heavy breathing’. (And a really good clue is the post-tryst comment, “Wow! You were great!”)
SPEAKING IN TONGUES:
There are only 12 known cases in the entire world of an odd malady called ’Foreign Accent Syndrome’. This strange ailment suddenly causes sufferers to speak with speech patterns totally different from their own. In one case, a Scottish women went to bed with a headache and woke up with a strong South African accent. (In a similar experience, I once went to bed drunk and woke up with a Greek wrestler.)
ALL-TIME BEST TV GUITAR THEMES:
A new ranking of TV theme songs with ‘outstanding guitar work’ …
5. “Chico and the Man”
3. “Beverly Hills, 90210”
2. “Law and Order”
1. “Barney Miller”
You’ll find most of them here …
— “Guitar One Magazine”
WATCHING THE BOSS:
The mayor of Buenos Aires, Argentina has set up 2 webcams and several microphones in his office so voters can keep tabs on what he’s doing on a daily basis. Mayor Jorge Telerman says he wants the people to know how he runs the city, and plans to have his ‘live show’ online 24-hours-a-day on weekdays. (They’d do this in Washington DC but it would be censored.)
– “NY Post”
FOR THE RECORD:
“Blender” magazine is lampooning serious world record attempts by staging ‘Awesomely Stupid Records’, such as having a guy in a glass room listen to the song “We Built This City” continuously for 24 hours. The magazine picked the 1985 Jefferson Starship oldie as the ‘Worst Recording Ever’. (‘Awesomely Stupid Records’ would make a great idea for a bar/club promotion – ‘Most Eggs Crushed by an Ass’, ‘Most People Simultaneously Singing Karaoke’, ‘Most Peanuts Eaten Using Chopsticks’, ‘Greatest Weight Lifted by Nipples’, etc.)
BS AMAZING FACT:
24 karat gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
THE BULL SHEET 10.19.06
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931  John Le Carré (David Cornwell), Poole UK, best-selling novelist whose books get made into movies (“The Constant Gardener”, “The Tailor of Panama”)
1945  John Lithgow, Rochester NY, TV actor (“Twenty Good Years”, “3rd Rock From the Sun” 1996-2001)/movie actor (“Kinsey”)
1965  Ty Pennington, Atlanta GA, TV home improvement guru (“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” since 2003, “Trading Spaces” 2000-04)
1969  Trey Parker, Conifer CO, TV producer/writer (“South Park”)/movie producer/director (“Team America: World Police”)
1976  Cyndi Thomson, Tifton GA, country singer (“What I Really Meant to Say”, “I Always Liked That Best”)
TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
“Evaluate Your Life Day”, a time to ‘sit back and reflect on your contribution to humanity and see if you’re really heading toward where you want to be’. (Hey, shouldn’t take long.)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1919  1st team to ‘throw’ a World Series (Chicago’s loss to Reds becomes known as the ‘Black Sox Scandal’)
1957  1st NHLer to score 500 career goals (Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard-Montréal Canadiens)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1872  ‘World’s Largest Gold Nugget’ found in New South Wales, Australia (215 kg/473 lbs)
1980  Steve McPeak rides ‘World’s Largest Unicycle’ (101′, 9″)
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] “Flags of Our Fathers”; “Flicka”; “Marie Antoinette”; “The Prestige”; “The Nightmare Before Christmas” (3-D version) open in movie theaters
[Sat] Diwali (Hindu)
[Sat] Babbling Day
[Sat] Reptile Day
[Sun] Mother-In-Laws Day
[Sun] Western Canadian Music Awards
[Mon] Canned Food Day
[Mon] TV Talk Show Host Day
[Tues] Ramadan ends (Muslim)
This Week Is . . . Canadian Citizenship Week/World Rainforest Week
This Month Is . . . Campaign For Healthier Babies Month
BS THINGS YOU REALIZE AFTER FOLLOWING A DRIVING SCHOOL CAR:
• How slow the speed limit in town really is.
• Why you haven’t tried to parallel park in 15 years.
• How awkward a proper lane change looks.
• How many lights a car has if you use the blinkers and everything
• Why the driver needs instruction.
Q: What did Ancient Roman men hold in their right hand when taking an oath?
A: Their testicles, the derivation of the word ‘testimony’.
Q: What animal did researchers study when designing the first football helmets?
A: The woodpecker. Football helmets were designed with air spaces to act as shock absorbers, just like a woodpecker’s skull.
According to psychologist Dr Beryl West, how you like your eggs reveals a lot about your personality. For instance …
• Sunny Side Up – You are optimistic and easygoing.
• Over Easy – You are very precise and know exactly what you want out of life.
• Soft-Boiled – You’re gentle, sensitive and neat, but not always easy to please.
• Hard-Boiled – You’re a no-nonsense type, quick to form opinions.
• Scrambled – You’re agreeable and steady, you go with the flow.
• Poached – You are very orderly and don’t like to see anything out of its place.
• Omelette – You enjoy taking risks.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s something you’ve seen or done that you wish you could get out of your mind?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show more men than women would protest if someone did THIS to them.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Butted in ahead of them in line.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Kindness is like a boomerang … it always comes back.