Wednesday, October 11, 2006 Edition: #3384
Here’s More Bull Roar!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT Tina Fey’s comedy “30 Rock” (as in 30 Rockefeller Center NYC, home of NBC-TV) debuts on NBC, a night after Canadians got to see it on CTV (do we really need another behind-the-scenes “Saturday Night Live”-ish show after “Studio 60” has run the concept into the ground?) . . . TONIGHT ‘Part 1′ of the “Project Runway” season finalé airs (Bravo), which includes visits to the remaining 4 designers’ homes (and lots of snippy criticism) . . . After Wal-Mart warned movie studios not to license content to iTunes, Apple opened negotiations with the retail giant and it now looks like Apple will give Wal-Mart a portion of its iTunes sales in exchange for selling digital movie download coupons (in related news, the Blockbuster video chain is up for sale for a dollar-ninety-eight) . . . 55-year-old “Entertainment Tonight” host Mary Hart has signed a new multi-year contract to continue anchoring the show biz news magazine (she’s currently in her 25th year on the show) . . . Brit model Kate Moss has a new deal to create a maternity fashion collection (please don’t tell us she’s expecting the spawn of Pete Doherty!) . . . Bahamian police investigating the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son Daniel are now interviewing a California doctor in connection to the incident LAST MONTH (at this rate, they’ll be officially pronouncing the lad dead in 2012) . . . Second City has inked a 2-year deal with NBC Universal Television that will give the studio access to all of the improv company’s shows and talent as well as its library for developing comedy content for TV and digital platforms . . . And Jerry Springer’s daughter Katie thinks her pop is not only a great talk show host (“Jerry Springer Show”) and dancer (“Dancing With the Stars”) but would also make a helluva US President (love to see those cabinet meetings – too bad he was born in Britain and therefore doesn’t qualify).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Audioslave – Frontman Chris Cornell has installed a $250,000 security system at his Beverly Hills mansion after a series of death threats against his family. More than 40 cameras are being used, along with invisible laser beams and 24-hour security guards.
• David Bowie – He’s voicing a character for an upcoming episode of “SpongeBob SquarePants”. How the mighty have fallen.
• Eminem – After investigating for domestic violence, Macomb County Police in Michigan say they are not going to press charges against him. According to reports, he was involved in a dispute with his niece and his estranged 2-time wife Kim.
• Gloria Estefan – TODAY she’s a guest on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Gretchen Wilson – TONIGHT a concert from her “Redneck Revolution” tour will be screened in select movie theaters. The show was filmed near Atlanta earlier THIS YEAR. She’s also releasing her first book, “Gretchen Wilson: I’ll Tell You What a Redneck Woman Is”, on NOVEMBER 1st.
• Madonna – “Too Good to Be True”, the sequel to her children‘s book, “The English Roses”, will be ‘an insightful tale about the joys and difficulties of experiencing one’s first crush’, according to the publisher.
• Nick Lachey – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Night With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Ruben Studdard – TONIGHT the big man’s on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Sean Combs – Diddy tells MTV his new album “Press Play” (due OCTOBER 17th) will likely be his last as he moves on to focus on an acting career.
HACK ATTACK:
Home computers can be attacked by hackers more than 50 times a night, according to the results of a new experiment. Every time a test PC was connected to the internet, it was targeted by viruses and attempts to gain access to the information it contained. The experiment used a ‘honeypot’ PC, which looked like a normal computer to potential hackers but secretly recorded every attempt to gain access to it. Each time the machine was put online during the month-long test period, it came under attack from hackers or dangerous computer programs. In one of the busiest nights of malicious activity, it was attacked 53 times. (Better get some new locks for your Windows!)
– “The Guardian”
BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘GooTube’ – The quickly slapped-on nickname for YouTube after Google’s $1.65-billion buyout. The popular video website will continue to operate as a separate entity.
• ‘Bio-panic’ – A term referring to single women’s attempts at motherhood without a man. Most women suffering this are in their 30s and worried that waiting for ‘Mr Right’ in order to have kids could take too long.
• ‘Rebecca Syndrome’ – Taken from the Daphne du Maurier classic novel “Rebecca”, it’s the feeling women who marry widowed or divorced men get that they can’t measure up to the first wife.
• ‘Karaoke PowerPoint’ – A presentation prepared by experts (generally technical types) to be given over and over again by non-experts (generally clueless managers or salespeople).
BLEEDING MARVELOUS:
A liquid that stops bleeding within 15 seconds has been hailed as a medical marvel that could revolutionize surgery and the way wounded soldiers are treated on the battlefield. Researchers at Bradford University in England say that when the biodegradable fluid, composed of proteins called peptides, is applied to open wounds, a protective gel barrier seals the injury and halts bleeding. Once the cut has healed, the non-toxic gel decomposes into amino acid molecules, which cells can use in tissue repair. The bad news … it’s made using excretions from live greenbottle blowfly larvae. (No thanks, we’d rather go with the leeches.)
– UPI
FOR THE RECORD:
• Geoff Pescud of Kingston-upon-Thames, England has set a new world record for … ‘Making a Balloon Poodle with Your Hands Behind Your Back’ Just 6.75 seconds! Wow dude, don’t let it go to your head.
– “Daily Mirror”
• 62-year-old retired accountant Richard LeFevre of Nevada has gulped down 247 jalapeno peppers in 8 minutes to win the $2000 prize in the “Jalapeno-Eating World Championship” at the State Fair of Texas, sponsored by the International Federation of Competitive Eating. So Dick, how’s it feel to pass molten lead?
– AHN
BS LAW & DISORDER:
• In Germany, cops, firefighters and biochemical experts were called in to investigate a clump of gelatinous ooze left in a hall after a wedding party. Fears of toxic waste led to the closure of a wide area after the emergency call. But when the newlywed groom was contacted and pulled out of bed, he identified the mysterious substance as … Jell-O. He agreed to clean it up to avoid charges.
• In Serbia, a pet-store owner found a unique way to protect his Mercedes from thieves – leaving a 6-foot snake in it every night. All went well until the snake disappeared after slithering into the car’s engine compartment. When the man notified police … he was busted for ‘endangering public safety’.
• In England, after police discovered marijuana in a Hastings warehouse, the lessee claimed he was forced to grow the plants in order to help his wife, because she has difficulty sleeping. Cops uncovered 638 plants … enough to roll over 280,000 joints.
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 74% of Chinese believe that a free market is the best way to run the world, while only 36% of French share that sentiment.
• 50% of Latin Americans would accept a dictator if the result was a higher standard of living.
• 46% of people change their voicemail greeting only once and never do it again.
• 29% of hotel guests have helped themselves freely to shampoo in hotel rooms, some also taking towels and/or bathrobes.
• 15% of men use a hair coloring kit on a weekly basis.
• 14% of kids throw out their lunch fruit on a daily basis.
BS AMAZING FACT:
The average lifespan of a human taste bud is 7-to-10 days. By age 60, most people have lost half their taste buds.
SHE SAID IT:
• “Josh is very sweet. He’s a good boy. A great person. I’m very lucky and I’m very happy. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not promiscuous.”
– Actress Scarlett Johansson in “Allure” magazine’s NOVEMBER issue, letting actor-boyfriend Josh Hartnett know he’s the man … for now.
• “I’ve got so much saggy skin on my stomach. I might fit into jeans, but trust me, I look really awful naked.”
– ‘UnPosh Spice’ Victoria Beckham in the Australian edition of “Harper’s Bazaar”, ruminating on what pregnancy has done to her body. Gee, thanks for sharing.
THE BULL SHEET 10.11.06
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [81] Elmore Leonard, New Orleans LA, best-selling novelist whose books get made into movies (“Out of Sight”, “Get Shorty”)
1949 [57] Daryl Hall (Hohl), Pottstown PA, adult contemporary/oldies singer (Hall & Oates-“Do It For Love”, “Maneater”)/diagnosed with Lyme disease (2005)
1961 [45] Steve Young, Salt Lake City UT, NFL analyst (ESPN)/former NFL QB (1994 Super Bowl XXIX MVP-San Francisco 49ers)/Pro Football Hall of Fame (2005)
1962 [44] Joan Cusack, NYC, movie actress (“Friends with Money”, “School of Rock”)/actor John Cusack’s sister
1985 [21] Michelle Trachtenberg, NYC, movie actress (“Ice Princess”)/ former TV actress (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 2000-03) COMING UP: Stars in the remake of the horror thriller “Black Christmas”, opening Christmas Day.
1989 [17] Michelle Wie [‘WEE’], Honolulu HI, 6′-1″ pro golf phenom who began playing at age 4/youngest female to make the cut in a male pro tour event, at age 16 (2006 SK Telecom Open)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Emergency Nurses Day”. How do you celebrate? Suture self!
• “National Coming Out Day”, a day to ‘announce your sexuality and be proud of it’, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign to encourage gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender people to ‘Talk About It’ with their families and friends.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/etrmj
• “UN International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction”. Disasters affect about 300 million people each year. So what the heck do we do to ‘reduce’ volcanos, hurricanes and earthquakes?
NET: http://www.un.org/Depts/dhl/disaster/
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1975 [31] “Saturday Night Live” debuts on NBC-TV, hosted by comedian George Carlin
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [09] Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind 1997″ debuts at #1 on pop singles charts (goes on to become biggest-selling single of all-time)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1919 [87] 1st ‘In-Flight Meals’ served by an airline (box lunches on a KLM flight from London to Paris)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [14] Deion Sanders plays pro football AND pro baseball on the same day, for the Atlanta Falcons (NFL) and the Atlanta Braves (MLB)
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day
[Thurs] Farmers Day
[Thurs] World Egg Day
[Thurs] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] VQA Wine Day
[Fri] School Librarian Day
[Sat] Be Bald & Be Free Day
This Week is … Credit Union Week
This Month is … Polish History Month
BULL’S BITS
ACTUAL RESUME BLUNDERS:
• “Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave.”
• “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year!”
• “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
• “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
• “Personal interests: donating blood … 14 gallons so far!”
• “Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.”
• “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 11 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
• “Exposure to German for 2 years, but many words are not appropriate for business.”
• “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my 3 previous employers.”
• “Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!”
– “Fortune Magazine”
BS TRIVIA:
• You’re Pamela Anderson. Which is larger – your left lung or your right lung? [For Pammy, and everyone else for that matter, the left lung is smaller than the right lung to make room for the heart.]
• You’re a firefighter. What’s your fire pole most likely made of? [Aluminum. They used to be brass, but the cost became prohibitive.]
• Studies show they’re bigger and pinker in France than they are in Canada. What are they? [Pigs. Hogs in France have a rosier color and an extra vertebrae, making them larger.]
BS PHONE STARTER:
If you had to be allergic to something, what would you pick?
BS ANIMALIA:
One of the following statements about critters is NOT true. Can you find it?
GAME #1 –
a. A group of kangaroos is called a ‘mob’.
b. Bulls are attracted to the color red. [BS. They are not attracted to any color as they’re color blind.]
c. If a chameleon loses a fight, it turns grey. If it wins, it turns green.
GAME #2 –
a. Neutered dogs make bad watchdogs. [BS. It does not change their instinct to defend their turf.]
b. Butterflies taste with their feet.
c. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
– “Weird Animal Facts”
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Welcome to the show, or as it’s known in French … ‘Le Fiasco du Jour’.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: You can reduce your work stress as much as 25% just by doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Letting out a loud scream.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Tell people there are 400 billion stars and they’ll believe you. Tell them a bench has wet paint on it and they’ll have to touch it.
