Tuesday, October 3, 2006        Edition: #3378
Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY “Peter Pan in Scarlet” by English author Geraldine McCaughrean is being published, the 1st officially sanctioned sequel to the century-old children’s classic by JM Barrie (‘Wendy’ is now a mother and ‘Tinkerbell’ is replaced by a male fairy named ‘Firefly’) . . . TODAY and tomorrow more than 700 lots of Cher collectibles from her 40 years in show biz are being sold off at an auction at the Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles, including jewelry, memorabilia, costumes, furniture and art (a Mecca for cross-dressers) . . . TONIGHT the 3rd season of “Veronica Mars” debuts as ‘Veronica’ (Kristen Bell) begins college where her first task is tracking down a serial rapist on campus (wow, that’s some orientation week) . . . And Brit billionaire Richard Branson’s Virgin Group is in talks to make an “Idol”-style show for astronauts in which 6 contestants from around-the-world compete for a spot on the Virgin Galactic project, which aims to put commercial passengers in space before the end of the decade.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Decemberists – TONIGHT they perform music from their new album “The Crane Wife” on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Evanescence – TODAY they release their 1st album in nearly 3 years, “The Open Door”. Several tracks include a choir and strings recorded in an old chapel.
• George Strait – TODAY he releases his 34th album, “It Just Comes Natural”, which includes his 73rd top 10 hit, “Give It Away”.
• Gordon Lightfoot – TONIGHT the 67-year-old troubadour kicks off an 11-city Fall tour in Vancouver that will take him to 6 provinces.
• Jet – TONIGHT they’re scheduled to guest on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) to promote their new album “Shine On”, but they may have to make a last-minute cancellation if lead singer Nic Cester is still suffering from laryngitis.
• The Killers – TONIGHT they’re on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) to flog their just-released new album “Sam’s Town”.
• Pussycat Dolls — While their reps deny it, rumors persist that their next single will be their last as lead singer Nicole Scherzinger leaves to pursue a solo career.
• Sara Evans — TONIGHT she competes again in the 4th round of “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) with her partner, pro dancer Tony Dovolani.
• Also in stores TODAY: “Songs of the Year”, a 12-track country CD is released exclusively through Cracker Barrel and the restaurant chain’s website that includes new renditions of tunes that have won ‘Song of the Year’ awards by the likes of Trace Adkins, Dierks Bentley, Lonestar, and the Wreckers; Beck’s “The Information”; The Dears’ “Gang of Losers”; Lindsay Buckingham’s “Under the Skin”; and Trey Anastasio’s “Bar 17″.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “South Park the Hits: Volume One” ( TV Comedy Compilation ): 10 favorite episodes as chosen by the show’s creators, Matt Stone & Trey Parker.
• “Thank You For Smoking” ( Comedy ): This satirical comedy follows the antics of Big Tobacco’s chief spokesman (Aaron Eckhart), who makes his living defending the rights of smokers and cigarette makers while trying to remain a role model for his 12-year-old son. Cast includes Adam Brody (“The OC”), Katie Holmes, Rob Lowe, Robert Duvall and William H Macy.
• “X-Men – The Last Stand” ( Action Adventure ): The final chapter of the trilogy. When a cure is found to treat mutations, battle lines are drawn between the ‘X-Men’ led by ‘Professor Charles Xavier’ (Patrick Stewart) and the ‘Brotherhood’, a band of powerful mutants organized under his former ally, ‘Magneto’ (Ian McKellen). Also stars Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, and Kelsey Grammar as ‘The Beast’. Primarily shot in Vancouver.
• Also on DVD TODAY: “The Little Mermaid – 2 Disc Special Edition”; “Medium – The Complete 2nd Season”; and “Humphrey Bogart – The Signature Collection, Volume 2″.

SHE’S ALRIGHT, SHE’S ALRIGHT COCAINE:
In the competitive market for energy drinks, the aim is to advertise more caffeine, more buzz, more attitude. The latest beverage to break from the pack is ‘Cocaine Energy Drink’, created by Redux Beverages of Las Vegas. The drink has the same caffeine content as 3.5 cups of coffee but does not include any narcotics. It claims it provides ‘Instant Rush. No Crash!’. Drug experts and nutritionists are not impressed.
— Newhouse News

PUSS ‘N BITES:
According to a recent study from the Yale University School of Medicine, cat bites are more likely to cause infection in humans than dog bites. Over 400,000 North Americans a year are bitten by cats, and up to 80% of those bites become infected. Severe complications can result, including meningitis and septic arthritis. As a result, the researchers recommend that anyone who’s skin is broken by cat bites should get medical treatment.
– ANI

DUTCH AREN’T MUCH ON MANNERS:
It seems the Dutch don’t think too highly of themselves. According to a poll conducted by a newspaper in the Netherlands, the Dutch consider themselves to be among the top 3 bad-mannered nations in Europe, right behind Russia and France. They aren’t without excuses, however, as many repondents say their tolerance is continuously declining due to the country’s large population crammed into such a small space. The poll also finds that the Swiss, Scandinavians and Belgians are considered the most polite people on the continent.
— “De Telegraaf”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 66% of Canadians say that if their mate had an affair they’d be willing to work it out.
• 65% of us admit that we live from pay cheque to pay cheque.
• 51% of us think ‘hugging and kissing’ is the best way to tell someone you love them.
• 49% of employees say daydreaming is an ‘important part’ of their workday.
• 19% of us own just one TV. Half of us have at least 3.
• 9% of people who’ve quit a job say they did it on the advice of a psychic.

THE KEY TO MARRIAGE?
According to psychologist Dr Benjamin Karney, the key to a successful marriage may not be good communication or honesty but rather – self-delusion. Karney says his study of hundreds of married couples suggests that satisfied couples tend to remember the past as being worse than it really was, which makes their present seem much better. In fact, many who said their marriages were growing better actually showed evidence that things were getting worse.
– UPI

WHAT WE DO IN A LIFETIME:
In the average lifetime we –
Sleep for 23 years.
Work … 19 years.
Leisure Activities … 9 years.
Travel … 7 years.
Eat … 6 years.
Illness … 3 years.
Personal Care … 2 years.
Religion … 1 year.
– “Timesource”

MOST EXPENSIVE HOUSE ANYWHERE?
With its 56,000-square-foot main house and multiple secondary buildings, Hala Ranch in Aspen, Colorado is perhaps the most magnificent property ever offered for sale anywhere in the world. Perched high on a 95-acre site, the main house is finished in mahogany throughout, along with custom hand-cast solid-bronze hardware, stone columns and massive timber beams. The asking price? The first $135 million takes it.
NET: http://www.christiesgreatestates.com/properties/view_13243/

POWER COUPLES:
A new ranking of musical couples’ star power, based on how much gossip they generate, their sex appeal, their hit records, and how much tabloids would pay for pictures of their kids …
5. Janet Jackson & Jermaine Dupri.
4. Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale.
3. Beyonce & Jay-Z.
1. [Tie] Faith Hill & Tim McGraw; Britney Spears & Kevin Federline.
— “Blender Magazine”

DEAR JOHN SERVICE:
Bernd Dressler, a former insurance man in Berlin, Germany, has launched a ‘separation agency’ to deliver the bad news to dumpees that their relationship is over. People go to dating agencies to find a lover, and by helping unhappy couples to split up, Dressler says he’s offering the same kind of service … but in reverse. He offers 4 different packages, ranging from the $26 ‘Let’s Stay Friends’ deal, which involves a sensitive phone call, to the $80 personalized home visit. Either way, Dressler reminds customers he’s just the messenger.
— “Globe & Mail”

BS HOUSEHOLD HINTS:
• To get rid of a grease stains on clothing, rub in some Cheez Whiz. Seems the enzymes in the cheese break down the grease. (Also works if you want your dog to “Give mommy a kiss!”)
• To give yourself a facial, use Cheerios. The oats apparently soak up the oils. (Why not oatmeal then?)
• To deodorize your feet, soak them in Jell-O. (In fact, keep some in your shoes.)
• To keep critters out of your garbage, sprinkle on Tabasco sauce. (Vinegar also works.)
• Instead of worrying about the stain when you spill coffee on a white shirt, dye the entire shirt with coffee. (And soon your entire wardrobe will be beige.)
– “Clean Your Clothes With Cheez Whiz”, by Joey Green

DID YOU KNOW?
• Slightly more women (60%) than men (57%) experience road rage during the daily commute to work.
• Women who are of above-average height are more likely to give birth to twins.
– “Toronto Star”
• Only one foreign country – Liberia in Africa – has a capital city named after an American president. The capital is Monrovia, named after James Monroe.
• ‘Q’ is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any state in the USA.

THE BULL SHEET 10.03.06

1944 [62] Roy Horn, Nordenham, Germany, former Vegas magician (Siegfried & Roy)/tiger bait (still recovering from onstage mauling by ‘Montecore’ on October 3, 2003)

1962 [44] Tommy Lee (Bass), Athens, Greece, reality TV personality (“Rock Star: Supernova”)/rock drummer (Motley Crue-“Girls Girls Girls”)/ex-Mr Pam Anderson/ex-Mr Heather Locklear

1969 [37] Gwen Stefani, Anaheim CA, pop singer (“Cool”, No Doubt-“Underneath It All”)/fashion designer-marketer (LAMB)/movie actress (“The Aviator”)/Mrs Gavin Rossdale since 2002

1969 [37] Janel Moloney, Woodland Hills CA, TV actress (“The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1971 [35] Kevin Richardson, Lexington KY, washed up pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Incomplete”)

1973 [33] Neve Campbell, Guelph ON, movie actress (“Scream I-III”, “Wild Things”)

1976 [30] Seann William Scott, Cottage Grove MN, movie actor (“The Dukes of Hazzard”)

1984 [22] Ashlee Simpson, Dallas TX, bad pop singer (“Boyfriend”)/sometime actress (“Undiscovered”)/stage actress (currently in the London cast of Chicago”)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
“Customer Service Week”, to highlight the business advantages of providing top-notch service. Your station could start by dumping the telephone menu and actually answering the phone.
NET: http://www.nationalcustomerserviceweek.com/

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1990 [16] Germany becomes a single country again as East & West Germany are reunited

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1987 [19] France’s Michel Pruffer becomes ‘World’s Fastest Skier’ by clocking 135.26 mph at Portillo, Chile

1988 [18] ‘World’s Largest Cocktail’ is concocted … a 327-gallon pina colada

1997 [09] 69-year-old Hockey Hall of Famer Gordie Howe skates with Detroit Vipers in their International Hockey League opener, becoming 1st ‘Hockey Pro to Compete in 6 Decades’

1997 [09] Japan’s Maglev bullet train breaks ‘World Train Speed Record’ at 280.3 mph

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Child Health Day
[Wed] Toot Your Flute Day
[Wed] Universal Children’s Day
[Wed] World Habitat Day
[Thurs] Techies Day
[Thurs] World Teachers Day
[Fri] Chinese Moon Festival
[Fri] World Smile Day
This Week Is … No Salt Week
This Month Is … Go On A Field Trip Month

BULL’S BITS

BS ‘FINISH LINES’:
Ask a phone contestant (kids are best) to finish these famous sayings …
• No man can serve two . . . [masters.]
• There’s no place like . . . [home.]
• Every cloud has a . . . [silver lining.]
• You never miss the water till . . . [the well runs dry.]
• He who rides a tiger is afraid to . . . [dismount.]
• When the cat’s away, the mice will . . . [play.]
• A rolling stone gathers no . . . [moss.]
• The eyes are the window of . . . [the soul.]
• The darkest hour is just before . . . [the dawn.]
• Variety is the . . . [spice of life.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
An Ontario Liberal MPP is calling for a ban on teenagers talking on cellphones, text messaging or listening to MP3 players while driving. Good idea? Then why just teens?

BS ANIMALIA:
One of the following statements about animals is incorrect. Which?
• A zebra is black with white stripes. [BS. The reverse is true.]
• A hippopotamus can run faster than a human.
• A snail can sleep for 3 years.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 71% of us say we do THIS more often in the AM than in the PM.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Snack.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It all looks the same if you’re not the lead dog.