Monday, October 4, 2021 – Edition: #7078
Sheet Happens!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “BS” service for Monday October 11 to observe Canadian Thanksgiving. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, Oct. 12. With leftovers.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Saturday Night Live” returned over the weekend with a new Joe Biden. New cast member James Austin Johnson played the president in the cold open of the show’s Season 47 premiere.. SNL also paid tribute to Norm Macdonald, the former Weekend Update anchor, who died last month. The opening sketch also shone a spotlight on some “S.N.L.” veterans who were weren’t sure if they’d return to the show this year, including Cecily Strong, who appeared as Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona, and Pete Davidson, who stirred up some negative reaction online from viewers who felt it was “too soon” for an impression of Dog The Bounty Hunter, who is on a quest to find Brian Laundrie, wanted in connection with the death of Gabby Petito.
-NYTimes
★ Ph.D. student Matt Amodio has risen to second place on the all-time consecutive wins list on “Jeopardy!”, with 33. The all-time champ — Ken Jennings — sits atop the list with 74 consecutive wins. Amodio acknowledged this when asked about Jennings upon his most recent win, saying “Ken’s always been the face of Jeopardy to me, so when I think of Jeopardy, I think of him. To [be] right behind him is a surreal experience.”
-TheWrap
★ Katie Couric insists her former “Today” show co-anchor Matt Lauer is a “decent man” despite being accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women. In excerpts of her new memoir “Going There”, Couric opens up on her former colleague, who was fired in 2017. She writes the behavior was all part of a workplace culture where sex and affairs were rife, adding she later learned about “a secret office they called ‘the Bunker’”, which only an unnamed “male anchor” had the key to, that was used for “one-on-one encounters, and I don’t mean interviews.”
-Canoe
★ Kelly Clarkson’s ex-husband has lost another battle in the couple’s divorce. A judge has handed her the keys to the Montana ranch he calls home. Brandon Blackstock argued the ranch is “marital property,” but a judge overseeing the couple’s divorce insists it falls within the prenuptial agreement the pair signed – and therefore it belongs to Clarkson, who is the sole titleholder.
-Canoe
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): John Stamos, Russell Westbrook, Alice Merton
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Seth Meyers, Cobie Smulders, Farruko
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Julianna Margulies, Toby Keith
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): David Chase, Barrett Martin
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jamie Lee Curtis, Ludacris, Lord Huron
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kate Chastain, Lloyd Spencer
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Guest co-host Alyssa Farah
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tichina Arnold, Beth Behrs
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Rami Malek, Monica Mangin, Andy Grammer, guest host Mark Consuelos
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Bobby Flay, the Old Gays
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC): Britney Night
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele — Literal signs regarding her next album have been appearing. Billboards reading “30” have been popping up around the world. Following online speculation that her new album would drop last week, the signs have been reported in Paris, Amsterdam, Scotland, Germany and Italy. Historically, her album titles correspond with her age when she began working on the record.
• Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige and Kendrick Lamar – It was announced Thursday that they have been announced as performers for the Pepsi Super Bowl LVI Halftime Show at SoFi Stadium on Feb. 13. Dre, Snoop and Lamar native Angelenos, and the city is hosting the Super Bowl for the first time in nearly 30 years.
• David Lee Roth – Not only did he release the new song ‘Low-Rez Sunset’ on Friday, he announced that he is retiring following his 5-show Jan. Las Vegas residency. The 66-year-old told the Las Vegas Review-Journal: “I’ve given you all I’ve got to give. It’s been an amazing, great run, no regrets…I’ll miss you all. Stay frosty.”
• Ozzy Osbourne – says he has a number of musical cameos lined up for his next album. In an interview, he said Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton, (Black Sabbath’s) Tony Iommi and former Ozzy guitarist Zakk Wylde will all make appearances. In April, he indicated that he had completed “15 tracks” for a follow-up to 2020s “Ordinary Man”.
• Morgan Wallen — Country Music Association bosses have told him to stay away from the 55th CMA Awards – even though he’s nominated. He hasn’t been invited to the Nov. 10 event in the face of his drunken racist comments outside his Nashville residence. In May, officials announced he is eligible for some categories, but not for individual artist categories like the coveted Entertainer of the Year.
• Pistol Annies — The trio of Miranda Lambert, Angaleena Presley, and Ashley Monroe have announced they’ll release the album “Hell Of A Holiday” on Oct. 22. The single ‘Snow Globe’ dropped on Friday. LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPjU5GSVu2w
• Randy Travis — will be honored with the “Artist of a Lifetime” award at CMT’s annual “Artists of the Year” event on Oct. 13. The celebration will air live from Nashville’s Schermerhorn Symphony Center at on CMT.
SHOOTING THE BULL
WHAT’S FOR LUNCH, “HOMIE”?
A man who finally made peace with being a stay-at-home dad has written a guide for others. Shannon Carpenter, a Kansas City dad of 3, is proud of his stay-at-home chops, and wants to help other SAHDs survive and thrive with “The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad: Your Essential Manual for Being an Awesome Full-Time Father” which will be released next week. Carpenter says there really isn’t much advice out there for people in his situation, so he took it upon himself. He recommends writing a job description to ensure that both dad and spouse are on the same page in terms of expectations, including time off, meals and house cleaning. His advice for other SAHDs? “You can do anything. Stop doing things you think you’re expected to. Embrace who you are as a dad and as a man.”
(Fine. But I still can’t bake!)
(At least he has a good answer for anyone who asks him what he does with all his free time while sitting around all day…)
(I hope he covers changing diapers in Chapter 1, because that’s kind of urgent…)
-NYPost
WORKING OUT IS IN:
A new study says that exercise is more important than weight loss if you’re looking to be healthy and live longer. Researchers at Arizona State University analyzed the relationship between fitness, weight, heart health and longevity. They found that even for overweight or obese people, regular exercise typically lowers the risk of heart disease and premature death far more than dropping weight or dieting. Exercise or improved fitness among sedentary, obese men and women lowered their risk for premature death by as much as 30%, even if they don’t lose weight. The scientists concluded that a weight-neutral approach to treating obesity-related health conditions “may be more effective than a weight-loss-centered approach, and could avoid pitfalls associated with repeated weight loss failure.”
(I like the sounds of THAT. Except for the part about exercising…)
(You DO realize this means we are now officially allowed to binge on pizza and beer after working out, right?)
-NYPost
HAVE A “SCREAM” THIS HALLOWEEN:
Airbnb has the ultimate offer for scary movie fans this month. The online lodging marketplace is giving “Scream” superfans the chance to stay at the home where much of the original film took place — and where ‘Ghostface’ was first defeated. Airbnb has renovated the original “Scream” house in Northern California and it looks almost exactly like it did in the 1996 film. And awesomely, it now features a stained-glass window with Ghostface’s visage to make things especially creepy. Visitors will be greeted (virtually) by ‘Sheriff Dewey Riley’, played by cast member David Arquette. They can cue up a marathon of all 4 “Scream” films — on VHS, to stay true to the time period — or even call Ghostface to “ask any questions or make requests.” But apparently, Ghostface has a tendency to call visitors, too, even in the middle of the night. The home is hosting 3 one-night stays during the last week of October, concluding on Halloween night, with room for 4 guests per stay. Oh, and if you manage to score a reservation, it’ll only cost $5. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/r66dh893
(Don’t worry if you don’t…they’ll definitely do a sequel…)
(Just Like the movie series, your stay will be a lot of fun at first, but eventually it’ll get worse and worse until you can’t wait for it to be over…)
(For those who “like scary movie houses”…)
-CNN
NEW GOOD NEWS:
➢ Ludwig von Beethoven is considered one of the best composers of all time, but when he died in 1827, he left behind his unfinished 10th Symphony. Now, thanks to a team of music historians, musicologists, composers, and computer scientists, we have an idea of what that piece might have sounded like, had he finished it. Collaborating with creative AI startup Playform AI, the Austrian team taught a machine to learn Beethoven’s entire body of work and replicate his creative process to finish the piece of music. The finalized piece, a completed version of Beethoven’s 10th Symphony, will be unveiled to the world this Saturday. (I KNEW he’d be Bach!)
➢ Football is Jasen Bracy’s passion — and he won’t let anything get in the way of his dream. The 15-year-old was diagnosed with retinal cancer as a toddler, and by his 7th birthday, he had lost his sight. But he told his parents he was determined to play football, and started calling teams in his area of California. He finally got through to Coach David Nichols with the Modesto Raiders, who told him: “Come on, we’ll figure it out.'” Bracy memorizes every play and where each player is supposed to be on the field, and after proving himself in practice and during games, he was made starting quarterback. Bracy says: “It’s all memory. It’s all about having trust in the player, the receiver, and the team.” (When I played football, I did the same thing. Close my eyes and get rid of the ball before I got hit. Less successfully, though…)
-HappyNews, CBS
SIGNS IT’S TIME TO QUIT YOUR JOB:
✓ You feel like you’ve plateaued: It’s hard to stay motivated and productive at work if you feel there’s no room for advancement.
✓ There are major issues with your boss: When issues go beyond casual disagreements and there’s a lack of trust and support, that can stifle productivity and career progression.
✓ You perpetually procrastinate: If you’re constantly waiting until the last minute to complete tasks, it could be a signal it’s time to move on. (I even procrastinate showing up!)
✓ There’s a cultural disconnect: For example, if work-life balance is important to you and your boss feels you should be “on-call” at all hours of the day, that can contribute to burnout.
✓ You’re noticing other potential opportunities: When you feel unsatisfied with your job, you start to notice other opportunities. Maybe you even find yourself actively searching for another position. (Or PRAYING for one…)
✓ Your attitude has changed: Maybe there’s been an increase in your eye rolls, heavy sighs and under-your-breath grumblings at work. These could be a sign that you need to look at what else is out there.
(I’ve always been TOLD when it’s time to quit MY job…)
-CNN
DID YOU KNOW?
A study says that 40% of grocery shoppers use self-checkout – to avoid others judging their purchases! Other findings in the survey of 2,000 Americans: The same percentage claim they’ve experienced “cart envy” and left a checkout line in search of items they saw in others’ shopping carts, 80% identify themselves as list-makers, compared to the 20% who show up at the supermarket and “wing it”. And about 2 in 5 buy healthy grocery items just to ensure they’re not being judged in the checkout line.
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 10.04.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [75] Susan Sarandon, New York City NY, movie actress (“Thelma & Louise”, “Bull Durham”, “Rocky Horror Picture Show”)
1956 [65] Christoph Waltz, Vienna Austria, movie actor (“Django Unchained”, “Inglourious Basterds”)
1957 [64] Russell Simmons, Queens NY, entrepreneur (co-founded the hip-hop music label “Def Jam” and created the successful clothing lines “Phat Farm”, “Argyleculture”, and “American Classics”)
1967 [54] Liev Schreiber, San Francisco CA, TV actor (“Ray Donovan” since 2013)/movie actor (“Goon”, “The Butler”)
1976 [45] Alicia Silverstone, San Francisco CA, movie actress (“Clueless”, “Batman & Robin”)/animal rights activist
1977 [44] Richard Reed Parry, Ottawa ON, alt-rock musician-composer (Arcade Fire-‘Reflektor’, ‘Keep the Car Running’)
1988 [33] Melissa Benoist, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Kara Danvers’ on “Supergirl” since 2015)
1989 [32] Dakota Johnson, Austin TX, movie actress (“Fifty Shades of Grey” films, “The Social Network”)/daughter of Don Johnson & Melanie Griffith
1997 [24] Ava Sambora, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“This Is 40”)/TV actress (“SummerBreak 3” 2015-2016) Daughter of Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cinnamon Roll Day”, or “Kanelbullens Dag” as it’s known in Sweden, the country of the yummy sweet-bun’s presumed origin. A good excuse to scarf one with your coffee this morning. (And another after…)
• “Improve Your Office Day”, a day to focus on ways to make your work experience better. Ideas: Keep it clean; simplify; and bring a piece of outside inside. (Also: donuts)
• “International Toot Your Flute Day”, to encourage the idea of selling yourself and telling others how good you are, while rejecting the idea that self-promotion is ‘bragging’.
• “Taco Day”, an annual celebration of the great taste of the traditional Mexican dish. (Awesome! Taco Monday!)
• “Vodka Day”, celebrating the versatile, virtually tasteless and odorless tipple that now accounts for about 25% of spirits sold in North America. We now have an assortment of wild and wacky added-flavor vodkas available, including maple syrup, root beer float, s’mores, PB & J and – an homage to the breakfast cereal Fruit Loops – ‘Loopy’. More savory include smoked salmon, chili peppers, bacon, espresso, cucumber, rose and buttered popcorn. (Buttered popcorn flavor? I’m shaken. And stirred.)
• “National Golf Lover’s Day”, providing an opportunity for golf enthusiasts to swing down the fairway at least one more time this season. (I’m so bad, last time I golfed I lost 2 balls in the ball washer!)
• “Blue Shirt Day”, also known as World Day of Bullying Prevention, the kickoff to National Bullying Prevention Month. Today, wear a blue shirt to highlight bullying prevention, and in solidarity with those who experience bullying in all its forms, such as cyberbullying, cruelty, racism, and homophobia.
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Apple Betty Day
[Tues] World Teachers’ Day
[Wed] Mad Hatter Day
[Wed] Garlic Lovers Day
This Week Is…Mental Illness Awareness Week
This Month Is…Adopt A Shelter Dog Month
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ:
1990 [31] “Beverly Hills, 90210” starring Luke Perry, Jason Priestley and Shannen Doherty, premieres
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1970 [51] Janis Joplin dies of a drug overdose at 27
2008 [13] Darius Rucker, known as the frontman for Hootie & the Blowfish, hits #1 on the Country chart with ‘Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It’, making him the first African American singer to top that chart since Ray Charles with ‘Seven Spanish Angels’, a 1985 duet with Willie Nelson
2016 [05] Gwen Stefani and Bush’s Gavin Rossdale divorce after 13 years of marriage
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2004 [17] “SpaceShipOne” flies to an altitude of 62 miles over the California desert, becoming the first privately-funded rocket to reach space (thereby winning the $10-million Ansari X Prize)
2006 [15] Wikileaks is launched by internet activist Julian Assange
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1981 [40] The oldest recorded pet gerbil, ‘Sahara’, dies in Lathrup Village, Michigan at age 8 years, 4½ months
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Your brain uses 40% of the oxygen that enters your bloodstream.
✓ Willow bark can be used as an alternative to aspirin.
✓ Researchers say marriage makes a woman more likely to become depressed; a man, less likely.
✓ The fastest reptile is the sea turtle. (They can swim as fast as 35mph [56kph])
✓ The actor with the most leading roles in Hollywood films is John Wayne, with 142.
✓ It would take 76 workdays (if you work an 8-hour day) to read every online privacy policy you agree to in an average year.
BestLife, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS FAKE DENTAL HYGIENE FACTS:
• Eating hard toffee is an effective way to clean out the bad old teeth that you no longer need.
• If you were supposed to brush them all, it would be called “teethpaste”.
• When it comes to flossing, it’s the thought that counts.
• A female dentist is called a “dentess”.
• Mountain Dew and Aquafresh are chemically identical, so just #SwishtheDew.
• While it’s not necessary to brush your cat’s teeth, she will enjoy it.
• At the end of each month, dentists award a plaque to the person with the most plaque.
• Sweets all day chase the cavities away.
• The fifth dentist caved, and now they’re all recommending Trident.
• Most dental incidents occur at the same time of day — Tooth-hurty. I’ll show myself out.
-Twitter
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Rapper Eminem has opened a restaurant called “Mom’s Spaghetti” in Detroit. (Now that’s Ludacris!)
➠ Kelly Ripa turned 51 on Saturday. (Sadly, no one was able to get her the one thing she really wants: A co-host who isn’t better looking than her.
➠ October is National Dental Hygiene Month. (You know you’re at a bad dentist when the giant tooth hanging in his office has a severe case of gingivitis!)
➠ According to a new study, more than 40% of people say they would engage in sexual intercourse with a robot. (The other 60% haven’t been married for 20 years…)
➠ Did you Know? Apple’s “i” prefix before their product names stood for five things when Steve Jobs introduced the iMac in 1998: Internet, Individual, Instruct, Inform, and Inspire. (And with Apple’s prices today, we can now add “Insane.”)
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which Disney princess had 3 fairy godmothers?
a) Cinderella
b) Snow White
c) Sleeping Beauty [CORRECT]
d) Fiona
• The movie “10 Things I Hate About You” was based on which Shakespeare play?
a) Taming of the Shrew [CORRECT]
b) A Midsummer Night’s Dream
c) Romeo and Juliet
d) Life of Brian
• The code in “The Matrix” comes from what food recipes?
a) Sushi [CORRECT]
b) Dumpling
c) Stir-fry
d) Kentucky Fried Chicken
-ThoughtCatalogue, ReadersDigest
BS WEB GOODIE:
That Monday feeling: https://tinyurl.com/5crf42pt
BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me in the lunchroom.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done (or SEEN) at the gym?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average woman will buy 220 of THESE in her lifetime. What are they?
Answer: Candles
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They make the best of everything.
