Friday, October 9, 2020 — Edition: #6826
Sheet Happens!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “BS” service for Monday October 12 to observe Canadian Thanksgiving. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, Oct. 13. With leftovers. Now, onto the looooongest Bull Sheet – EVER!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ James Bond fans may have to wait until next year for the next 007 movie, but those with deep pockets can get their hands on some of the most famous items from the series next month. The ivory colored bikini worn by Ursula Andress in “Dr. No” – the first Bond movie – is up for auction in Los Angeles with an estimated price of up to $500,000. Other items include Roger Moore’s monogrammed pajama ensemble from “Live and Let Die” (estimated at $10,000 – $15,000); the gray signature jacket worn by villain ‘Ernst Blofeld’ in “Diamonds are Forever” ($20,000 – $30,0000); and Jane Seymour’s emerald psychic cape and headdress from “Live and Let Die” ($60,000 – $80,000). The auction will take place online and in Los Angeles on Nov 12-13.
-MSN
★ Dan Levy has hit out at officials from Comedy Central India for censoring a same-sex kiss in the hit show “Schitt’s Creek”. He shared a March 2019 tweet from Comedy Central India, featuring a promo video from the episode “Homecoming”. The video features a house party scene with Levy’s character, ‘David’, who kisses Ted Mullens’ ‘Dustin’ character during a game of spin the bottle. Comedy Central India cut that scene from their broadcast. Levy tweeted: “This is a show about the power of inclusivity. The censorship of gay intimacy is making a harmful statement against that message.” He concluded with the hashtag, “#loveislove.”
-Canoe
★ Amanda Bynes is considering getting into the celebrity fragrance business. According to her lawyer, “Amanda is very entrepreneurial. She is investigating fragrances. She is now considering perfume in addition to a clothing line.” In February, Bynes expressed interest in starting her own fashion label, posting that she was “really looking forward to starting my clothing line, and I’m hoping that in the near future it will be out online.” Her lawyer cautions, though: “Don’t get too excited. She is still a student…earning her degree.”
-MSN
★ Producers are putting the upcoming season of “Battle of the Blades” on hold after an unidentified member of the production team tested positive for COVID-19. They’re halting preparations and training for the televised skating competition as a “precautionary measure” to ensure the safety of cast and crew. CBC, which airs the show, said it supports the decision and will postpone the planned Oct. 15 premiere.
-MSN
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Killer Mike, Norah Jones
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kevin James, Lenny Kravitz, Nate Bargatze
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Silverman, Lili Reinhart, Phoebe Bridgers, Jessica Burdeaux (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Maisie Williams, Bright Eyes (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jaime Harrison
• “The Talk” (CBS): Cyndi Lauper
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Robert DeNiro, Theresa Caputo
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Guest host Tiffany Haddish
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Whitney Cummings, Ed Asner
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): James Corden
• “2020 NBA Finals” (ABC, TSN): Game 5. Miami Heat vs. Los Angeles Lakers
• “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” (CBS): Actor Leslie Odom Jr.; pro football player Christian Wilkins
SATURDAY-
• “Eli Roth’s History of Horror” (AMC): Season 2 premiere. Home is where the heart is, unless one lives in a house of hell; every house of hell pokes at illusions of comfort and safety.
• “My Best Friend’s Bouquet” (HALLMARK): A hopeless romantic misses all the signs of true love when she puts her trust in a bouquet tossed at a wedding.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Bill Burr; musical guest Morgan Wallen
SUNDAY-
• “Fear the Walking Dead” (AMC): Season 6 premiere. Mortally wounded, Morgan must decide whether to help a desperate stranger while a mysterious bounty hunter tries to finish what Ginny couldn’t.
• “Everest’s Greatest Mystery” (DISCOVERY): Mountaineer Jake Norton and his team search the upper reaches of Everest for undiscovered clues that prove who may have been the first climber to get to the top.
• “2020 NBA Finals” (ABC, TSN): Game 6. Miami Heat vs. Los Angeles Lakers (if necessary)
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Demi Lovato, Chance the Rapper and Chloe x Halle — will perform at the “Pepsi Unmute Your Voice” concert on Triller tonight. The show, which began last night, is a collaboration with Rock the Vote and also features Saint Jhn, Brett Young and Ava Max.
• Billie Eilish – has announced the livestream concert “Where Do We Go?”. It will air live from Los Angeles on Oct. 24 at 3 p.m. PT on her website. Following the show, ticket holders will have access for 24 hours to replay the show on-demand.
• Meghan Trainor — revealed she’s pregnant during a surprise visit to the “TODAY” show. Though she didn’t disclose the baby’s sex, she did share that she’s about halfway through her pregnancy and it’s been “very easy so far.” Her husband is Daryl Sabara, who starred in the “Spy Kids” movie series.
• Van Halen – Former singer Sammy Hagar has revealed that he and Eddie Van Halen made peace and became friends again before Eddie’s death. Hagar says the two “had been texting, and it’s been a love fest since we started communicating earlier this year.” The two had been estranged since the end of Van Halen’s 2004 tour.
• The White Stripes — haven’t been a band for nearly a decade, but will release “The White Stripes Greatest Hits” on Dec. 4. The 26-song collection will span’s the group’s entire career.
• Lenny Kravitz – writes in his memoir “Let Love Rule” that he saw his future wife on the cover of TV Guide before ever meeting her, and told a friend, “I’m gonna marry that girl.” They were married from 1988-93 and share daughter Zoë Kravitz together.
• John Lennon – His piano, which he used to compose and record ‘Imagine’, is on display at Liverpool’s Strawberry Field exhibition in honor of his 80th birthday (today). It’s on loan from the estate of George Michael. The Wham! star purchased it in 2000.
• Annie Lennox – will reissue her album “A Christmas Cornucopia” on Nov. 20 to mark a decade since its release. It is comprised of covers of traditional festive songs, plus the original song ‘Universal Child’, digitally remastered. Proceeds from the song will go to The Annie Lennox Foundation to support women and children in Africa and people with HIV/Hepatitis C in Scotland.
• Morgan Wallen — His scheduled appearance on “SNL” tomorrow has been canceled. NBC rescinded its invitation after TikTok videos surfaced of him partying without a mask and kissing multiple women while at the University of Alabama last weekend. He apologized in a video, saying: “My actions…were pretty short-sighted and they have obviously affected my long-term goals and my dreams. I think I have some growing up to do.”
• Brad Paisley – revealed on “Ellen” that he has begun rescuing donkeys as part of the farming operations at his Nashville home. He also joked the he’s “been running a donkey rescue ever since I hired a band, but this is kinda a different level of it.”
• The Mavericks – Trumpet player Lorenzo Ruiz and a friend were assaulted in Franklin, TN bar, apparently after being confronted for speaking Spanish with each other. The friend, musician Orlando Morales, is said to be in “bad shape” in the GoFundMe set up for him.
LIVING THE DREAM:
It’s hard to get a break from the pandemic – even when you’re sleeping, according to a new study. And the weird thing? Many of us are having similar dreams about it. Published in the journal Frontiers of Psychology, researchers in Finland used computer modelling to track similarities across 4,000 peoples’ pandemic-related dreams. The study found “repeating dream content associations across individuals” which reflected “the apocalyptic ambience of COVID-19 lockdown” according to the study’s lead author. The researchers speculate that dreaming in extreme circumstances results in “shared visual imagery”, and “dreams can indicate some form of shared mindscape across individuals.” The most common type of nightmare reported was having travel difficulties, with overcrowding involved. Second was other people disregarding social distancing. Other common COVID-19-related nightmares involved surgery and medical complications, concerns about personal protective equipment, elderly people in trouble, and an event being cancelled.
(What about having to homeschool your kids?????)
(So everyone else is dreaming those same things – and I’m still showing up at work naked…every night?)
(Overcrowding? There’s something I haven’t worried about in 6 months!)
-CTV
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A new pandemic-themed erotic romance novel has hit the digital shelves, and it is taking the internet by storm. “Kissing the Coronavirus” by MJ Edwards is described thusly: “She was supposed to cure the Coronavirus. Instead… she fell in love with it. Dr Alexa Ashingtonford is part of a crack team of scientists tasked with finding the cure to the devastating Coronavirus. Little did she know she would end up falling in love with it.” In case you had any doubts about the plot, the cover shows a beautiful woman, her limbs intertwined with those of a green “man” who has coronavirus-like markings on his skin, as they move in for the kiss. The book had 121 ratings with an average of 3.5 stars — most of them five-star or one-star reviews. (Finally! Something that looks riskier than being an extra on the ‘WAP’ video shoot!)
➢ University student Rosie Cole had to be rescued by firefighters when she got stuck in her dryer on a dare. Admittedly bored during COVID-19 lockdown, the undergrads from Yorkshire, UK had swilled a couple of bottles of wine and some tequila shots when they dared their pal to take a tumble. Once she realized she wouldn’t be able to remove herself, and neither could her friends, first responders were called — and it took three firefighters to rescue the tipsy college coed. The resulting video is now going viral. Because OF COURSE it is.
(No charges will be permanently pressed…)
-NYPost
DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers say that the brain is designed to actively remove memories, which suggests that forgetting may be its ‘default’ mode. Studies at Scripps Research Institute in Florida found that if we remembered everything, we would be completely inefficient because our brains would always be swamped with superfluous memories. The brain doesn’t know straight away what is important and what isn’t, so it tries to remember as much as possible, but gradually forgets most things. It is thought that after a new memory forms, the forgetting mechanism begins to erase it, as cells reverse the structural changes that created the memory, unless the thought is somehow recognized as being important.
-Quanta
BS CHRONOMETER 10.09.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [72] Jackson Browne, Heidelberg Germany (raised in LA), pop singer-songwriter (‘Doctor My Eyes’, ‘Running on Empty’, co-writer of Eagles’ ‘Take it Easy’)
1952 [68] Sharon Osbourne (Arden), Brixton UK, TV personality (“The Talk” since 2010, “America’s Got Talent” 2007-12, “The X-Factor UK” 2004-13, “The Osbournes” 2002-05)/Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne since 1982 (also his manager)
1964 [56] Guillermo del Toro, Guadalajara Mexico, filmmaker (“The Hobbit” films, “Pan’s Labyrinth”) COMING UP… “Pinocchio” 2021
1973 [47] Steve Burns, Boyertown PA, TV actor (“Blue’s Clues” 1996-2003)
1975 [45] Sean Lennon, New York City NY, musician (the sole offspring of John Lennon and Yoko Ono, and godson of Elton John)/Born on his father’s 35th birthday
1979 [41] Brandon Routh, Norwalk IA, TV actor (‘Ray Palmer/The Atom’ on “Arrow” 2014-16)/movie actor (“Superman Returns”)
1979 [41] Chris O’Dowd, Boyle Ireland, movie actor (“Bridesmaids”, “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children”) COMING UP… “The Starling”
1993 [27] Scotty McCreery, Raleigh NC, country singer (‘Five More Minutes’)/“American Idol” Season 10 winner (2011)
SATURDAY- David Lee Roth (Van Halen) is 66; Bradley Whitford (“The West Wing”) is 61; Wendy McLendon-Covey (“The Goldbergs”) is 51; Mario Lopez (“Access Hollywood”) is 47; NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr is 46; Mya (‘Lady Marmalade’) is 41; Dan Stevens (“Downton Abbey”) is 38
SUNDAY- Daryl Hall (Hall & Oates) is 74; Steve Young (“ESPN Monday Night Football”) is 59; Lennie James (“Fear the Walking Dead”) is 55; Jane Krakowski (“30 Rock”) is 52; Emily Deschanel (“Bones”) is 44; Matt Bomer (“White Collar”) is 43; Cardi B (‘Bodak Yellow’) is 27
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fire Prevention Day”, a highlight of the annual observance of “Fire Prevention Week”. Why today? It marks the anniversary of the ‘Great Chicago Fire of 1871’, the disaster that began a movement toward fire prevention as an adjunct to firefighting.
• “Leif Erikson Day” in Norway and Iceland, commemorating the Viking explorer’s discovery of North America (‘Vinland’, thought to be northern Newfoundland) circa 1000 AD … almost 500 years before Christopher Columbus.
• “UN World Post Day”, honoring the founding of the Universal Postal Union in 1874. Today the UPU, with 190 member countries, oversees the co-ordination of the global postal service.
• “Beer and Pizza Day”, paying homage to one of the most iconic food and drink combinations on Earth. (without which, would we even HAVE bowling?)
• “National Sneakers Day”, also known as athletic shoes, tennis shoes, gym shoes, sport shoes, runners, or trainers, sneakers are the most democratic form of footwear owned by almost everybody. There is also a large culture dedicated to the appreciation and collection of athletic and casual footwear.
• “World Egg Day”, eggs certainly are what they are cracked up to be. Aside from high cholesterol, eggs are a healthy food, high in nutrition, and low in fat.
SATURDAY-
• “Angel Food Cake Day”, honoring the dessert every starving dieter touts as being ‘fat-free’ … just before inhaling it in its entirety. (With a ton of high-fat whip cream!)
• “International Stage Management Day”, celebrating all the work that stage managers do in theaters and on film sets. (Like referees, if you don’t notice them, they’re doing a great job!)
• “World Homeless Day”, to draw attention to the needs of the homeless and provide opportunities for communities to get involved in responding.
• “World Mental Health Day”, for mental health education and awareness. It was first celebrated in 1992 as an initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health, which operates in more than 150 countries.
• “World Porridge Day”, a celebration of Scotland’s traditional national dish. It began in the wee Scottish Highlands village of Carrbridge (home of the annual “World Porridge Making Championship”) as a fundraiser to help feed needy children. So how do you like your gruel? (I like mine not too hot, not too cold…. but JUST RIGHT!)
• “Hug a Drummer Day”, to celebrate percussionists who keep the rhythm, but are usually the least celebrated musicians in a band. Because we never miss a chance to tell them, here are our favorite drummer jokes:
➢ How can you tell when a drummer’s at the door? [The knocking speeds up. Then he doesn’t know when to come in.]
➢ How can you tell when the stage riser is level? [The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.]
➢ What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend? [Homeless.]
➢ What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band? [“Hey guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?”]
➢ What’s the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer? [A podiatrist bucks up your feet.]
➢ And the all-time classic: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? [A drummer.]
SUNDAY-
• “Coming Out Day”, a day to ‘announce your sexuality and be proud of it’, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign to encourage gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people to “Talk About It” with their families and friends.
• “International Day of the Girl”, a UN observance to increase awareness of the inequality faced by girls worldwide based upon their gender. The gap affects access to education, nutrition, legal rights, medical care, and protection from violence.
• “Southern Food Heritage Day”, the official day to pull out your cast iron pans and start up the smoker to enjoy your favorite traditional dishes from America’s South. (Which is best? Catfish? Gumbo? Jambalaya? Pork jowls fried in possum fat?)
• “It’s My Party Day”, What a great opportunity to have some fun. It’s a party day. You can make it simple, or elaborate. Invite family and friends. Being mid-October, a Fall or Halloween theme is in order.
MONDAY –
• “Thanksgiving Day” in Canada, thanks to a 1957 act of parliament making the 2nd Monday in October ‘a day of general thanksgiving for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed’. Many historians believe the first North American “Thanksgiving” event occurred in Newfoundland in 1578. That would put it 43 years before the Pilgrims landing in Massachusetts in 1621. Others claim the first Canadian Thanksgiving was celebrated in Halifax in 1763. It became an annual Canadian tradition in 1879, celebrated on the same day as the USA. It was later moved ahead to reflect the earlier harvest season.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [14] Google pays more than $1.6 billion for the video-sharing website YouTube
2017 [03] Producer Harvey Weinstein is fired from The Weinstein Company after allegations of sexual abuse
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [35] On what would have been John Lennon’s 45th birthday, a section of Central Park in New York City is christened “Strawberry Fields” in his memory
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2009 [11] Barack Obama becomes the first sitting US president since Woodrow Wilson to win the Nobel Peace Prize (before he had even done anything!)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2011 [09] Germany’s 24-year-old Sebastian Vettel of Germany becomes the youngest driver to win the Formula One World Championship … twice
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ When your “inner voice” speaks in your head, it triggers small muscle movements in your larynx.
✓ The modern popped collar originated as a way to keep tennis players’ necks from getting sunburnt.
✓ It takes a drop of ocean water more than 1,000 years to circulate around the world.
✓ The number 4 is the only number with the same number of letters as its value.
✓ An NFL waterboy makes an average salary of $53,000 a year.
✓ In Colombia, dried ants have replaced popcorn as the typical movie theater snack.
-WhattheFFacts, MentalFloss
BS WHACK TURKEY FACTS:
✓ A baby turkey is called a ‘poult’. A turkey under 16 weeks of age is called a ‘fryer’.
✓ That flesh-like appendage that hangs over a turkey’s beak is called the ‘snood’. The ‘wattle’ is the bright red appendage on the neck.
✓ A 15 lb (6.8 kg) turkey usually has about 70% white meat and 30% dark meat.
✓ Commercially raised turkeys are too heavy to fly. In fact, turkey breeding has caused turkey breasts to grow so large that turkeys sometimes fall over.
✓ A nervous disorder can cause turkeys to stare at the sky for 30 seconds or more. But scientists dismiss the notion that they can drown that way when it is raining.
✓ If you throw an apple to a group of turkeys, they’ll play with it together, kind of like soccer.
-University of Illinois, TorontoStar
Best of BS . . .
BS SQUARE DANCE PROBLEMS:
• People doing the “Safety Dance” instead.
• When you don’t know where Cotton Eye Joe came from, nor where he went.
• Round rooms.
• The only Do-Si-Do most people are familiar with is a Girl Scout cookie.
• Squidward is such a grouch sometimes. Oh, wait…Did you say ‘Square Dance’, or ‘Square Pants’?
• In some circles, the phrase “Swing Your Partner” takes on a whole different meaning.
• I just keep feeling the urge to dance in a triangle.
• Performance-enhancing drugs. Yes, I’m speaking of “Do-Si-Doping”.
• They have a history of violins.
• The simple fact that it exists.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Scientists have genetically modified cows to be born with patches of gray fur instead of black to help cows deal with climate change. (So, guys, how’s that COVID-19 vaccination coming?)
➠ Tesla has fired an employee on allegations of ‘maliciously’ sabotaging their Fremont, CA factory. (He is expected to be charged, then charged again a few days later…)
➠ A Domino’s delivery driver was fired after being caught rubbing an ice cream container on his crotch. (How Dairy?!!)
➠ Stormy Daniels has snapped back at Melania Trump after the First Lady called her a “porn hooker” in newly revealed tapes. (This sounds like the beginning of a catfight at a strip club.)
➠ Dolly Parton is teasing that she “might” pose for Playboy to celebrate turning 75. (Fans think it will be the biggest issue in Playboy history, while insiders say it’ll just be another big bust.)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Take it for a spin: https://tinyurl.com/yyvgrca7
BS PHONE STARTER:
What small thing completely enrages you?
BS RANDOM JOKES:
• I’m guessing I’ll die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you actually have room for it.
• Well, to be Frank with you, I’d have to change my name.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
Question: 4% of us have experienced a Thanksgiving gathering where THIS embarrassing situation happened to us …
Answer: Sat down on a chair and broke it!
Question: 86% of dog owners do THIS at least once a month. What is it?
Answer: Tell him/her “I love you.”
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.