Friday, October 20, 2023 – Edition: #7579
You Really Know Your Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Will Smith made a surprise appearance at wife Jada Pinkett Smith’s Baltimore book tour stop for her new memoir, “Worthy.” She made headlines recently for her comments about their marriage, revealing that they’ve been separated for the last 7 years. But he has nothing but love for his “best friend” Jada. He made a speech at the bash, saying that he wanted to come “and hold it down for you the way you have held it down for me.” The “King Richard” star then stated that the 2 call their relationship “‘‘brutiful’…brutal and beautiful at the same time.” Smith also declared that he is “Happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life” and said he has “achieved every single thing I have ever wanted”, largely “on the foundation of Jada’s sacrifices.”
-NYPost
★ Sylvester Stallone is honoring a friend who was always in his corner. After Burt Young died at the age of 83, the “Rocky” star paid tribute to his former costar in a heartfelt message. Posting a throwback pic of the 2 on the set of the 1976 movie, Stallone wrote on Instagram: “To my Dear Friend BURT YOUNG, you were an incredible man and artist, I and the World will miss you very much…RIP.” Young died in LA on Oct. 8, but the news just surfaced on Wednesday night. In addition to playing ‘Paulie’ in the Rocky movies—a role for which he received an Oscar nomination—Young also appeared in movies and shows, including “Convoy”, “Chinatown” “M*A*S*H” and “Law & Order”. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2s4crrax
-E!
★ Netflix has increased the price of both its basic and premium plans in the US, as well as in France and the UK. The cost of the streamer’s ad-supported and standard tiers remain the same. For US subscribers, Netflix increased the price of its basic plan (which does not include ads, but is no longer available to new subscribers) to $11.99 per month, and premium (which offers streaming in Ultra HD and the ability to watch on up to 4 devices at once), to $22.99 per month, up from $9.99 and $19.99.
-Variety
★ Martin Scorsese has often found his onscreen hero in Leonardo DiCaprio — but for “Killers of the Flower Moon” (out today), the actor wanted to take on a different role. DiCaprio was originally slated to portray FBI lead investigator ‘Tom White’ a white man who is brought to Oklahoma in the 1920s to investigate murders in the Osage Nation. But when Scorsese’s story changed, DiCaprio was quick to suggest a personal recasting. Scorsese hoped to avoid the white-savior trope, and ultimately decided against anchoring the film around the detective’s perspective. It was DiCaprio who suggested he could instead play ‘Ernest Burkhart’, a man who marries an Osage woman (played by Lily Gladstone) but ultimately gets involved in schemes to kill the Osage people for their oil money. White is now portrayed onscreen by Jesse Plemons.
-People
★ Netflix has announced a debut date for its new Kevin Hart and Chris Rock tour documentary. In July 2022, the 2 comedians embarked on a stand-up tour together. The duo did 5 across New York and New Jersey. The documentary of the tour, “Kevin Hart & Chris Rock: Headliners Only” will debut on Netflix on December 12.
-Deadline
★ For the first time since the last time, “Monty Python & the Holy Grail” is coming back to the big screen. In December, the beloved (and completely ridiculous) film, which was released in 1975 by the esteemed English comedy troupe, will return to theaters for a limited-engagement run to celebrate its 48½-year anniversary. A release says: “This cinematic event kicks off in over 500 (US) theatre locations nationwide on Sunday, December 3rd with encore screenings beginning on Wednesday, December 6th. Select theatre locations will also be offering a Quote-A-long version of the film for audiences to experience the joy in sharing together, as you quote your favorite lines with the characters.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p9rxn2u
-RockCellar
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): TBA
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Keith Richards, Canelo Álvarez, 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Arnold Schwarzenegger, Metric (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tracy Morgan, Chris Hayes, Craig Reynolds (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Hip hop 50th anniversary performance
• “The Talk” (CBS): Hilarie Burton
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Deborah Roberts
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Bowen Yang, Aliah Sheffi
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): TBA
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Tyler Cameron, Nick Viall
• “Shark Tank” (ABC): A portable outdoor game that combines pickleball and Spikeball; a pet-sitting service for weddings and events; a high-fashion bodysuit; gourmet made-to-order French fries.
• “Killer Cases” (A&E): Mark Jensen seemed to be a mild-mannered man, grieving over his wife’s suicide. When police find traces of antifreeze in her autopsy, they question what was really going on.
• “The Price Is Right at Night” (CBS): Followed by the game show “Raid the Cage”.
SATURDAY-
• “Major League Baseball (Check Local Listings): NLCS game 5 (if necessary) Philadelphia @ Arizona
• “Bad Romance: The Vicky White Story” (Life): Premiere. Corrections officer Vicky White develops an infatuation with prisoner Casey White. With his transfer looming, she risks everything to break him out of jail, leading authorities on a nationwide manhunt.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Bad Bunny hosts and performs.
SUNDAY-
• “The Great Halloween Fright Fight” (ABC): Season 2 premiere. The Britt, Dunahee, McCabe and Herman families face off in hopes of winning the $50,000 prize and the Fright Fight trophy.
• “The Simpsons” (Fox): Homer thinks he’s being tricked into buying a sports car; Lisa neutralizes Nelson after he goes on a bullying spree.
• “NFL Football” (NBC): Miami Dolphins @ Philadelphia Eagles
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – has quit drinking. She told fans at her residency show in Vegas over the weekend that she cut alcohol out of her life more than 3 months ago. While she admitted “it’s boring” to quit drinking, the 35-year-old said that she consumed too much alcohol in her younger years. When a fan told her that her group had been drinking all day, Adele said: “Enjoy your whiskey sour. I’m very, very jealous.”
• Drake – This week, his collab with J. Cole ‘First Person Shooter’ debuted at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. That’s the 13th #1 for Drake, tying him with Michael Jackson for the most top-charting songs for a solo male artist. Drake reacted by posting a photoshopped image of MJ rocking his OVO hoodie. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2cz9btz4
• Blink-182 – Today, they release the much-anticipated album “One More Time” — the first with guitarist/vocalist Tom DeLonge since 2011. Wednesday, the group shared ‘You Don’t Know What You’ve Got’, a somber tune with Mark Hoppus singing of the emotions experienced with his lymphoma diagnosis, first announced in 2021. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5fjfvurr
• Rolling Stones – Mick Jagger says the legend is untrue. In his book, Keith Richards said that in 1984, an inebriated Jagger called Watts’ hotel room, demanding, “Where’s my drummer?” The story goes that, Watts got up, shaved, donned a suit and then walked to Jagger’s room, only to punch Jagger in the face and say: “Don’t ever call me your drummer again. You’re my (bleep) singer!” In a new interview, Jagger says: “Didn’t happen. No, not at all.”
• Peter Gabriel – has finally announced that his album “i/o” will be released on Dec. 1. Throughout 2023, he has been releasing one song each full moon. i/o will be released in vinyl, CD and digital forms, and fans can choose between the “bright” and “dark” side mixes of the songs. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/33mxu6k4
• Luke Combs – rocked a kilt while onstage during a gig in Scotland. Embracing his Scottish roots, he actually helped design it at a high-end kilt place in Glasgow called MacGregor and MacDuff. Combs performed most of the show in his typical stage getup. But for the encore, he changed into his tartan kilt. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2s3tvrw4
• Sam Hunt – His new song ‘Came the Closest’ is set for release today. It follows his earlier releases ‘Women in My Life’ and ‘Outskirts’, the latter of which is still in the top 40 of the country charts. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/r4znnk32
• Blake Shelton – has announced the 2nd leg of his “Back To The Honky Tonk Tour” will launch Feb. 22 in Hershey PA. Joining him on the 17-date run through the US and Canada are Dustin Lynch and Emily Ann Roberts, who was on “The Voice”. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ysw8e9py
SHOOTING THE BULL
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “Killers of the Flower Moon” (R, Crime-Drama): Members of the wealthy Osage tribe in the United States are murdered under mysterious circumstances in the 1920s, sparking a major FBI investigation involving J. Edgar Hoover, which uncovers a chilling conspiracy. (Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro, Lily Gladstone, Jesse Plemons) Tomatometer: 95%
• “Dicks: The Musical” (R, Musical-Comedy, expands to wide release): Two self-obsessed businessmen discover they’re long-lost identical twins and come together to plot the reunion of their eccentric divorced parents. (Megan Mullaly, Nathan Lane, Megan Thee Stallion) Tomatometer: 75%
MORE FOODSTUFF:
Not long after the announcement of Domino’s Emergency Pizza program, which lets Rewards club members score a free medium 2-topping pizza “whenever you need it”, comes this from the makers of M&M’s: To ensure everyone has an ample supply of candy this year, the first-ever “Halloween Rescue Squad” has been announced, which promises to restock your sweets free of charge. Parent company Mars recently discovered in a survey that that about half of American households are concerned they might run out of candy for Halloween — and 89% fessed up to consuming too many of the treats themselves ahead of time. M&M’s has teamed up with Gopuff to refill your sugary stash in just 30-60 minutes, in any region where the food delivery company operates. Because after all, according to M&M’s, the scariest part of Halloween is running out of candy! LINK: https://mmshalloweenrescuesquad.com/
(Isn’t replenishing our candy supply the reason we let our kids of trick-or-treating?)
(Actually, the scariest part of Halloween is biting into something that has raisins in it!)
-NYPost
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man has been arrested in Spain after apparently faking heart attacks at restaurants around the country — to avoid paying the bill. Reportedly, after ordering food and drinks, he would put on an outrageous theatrical performance, clutching his chest and pretending to faint on the floor. The scam worked like a charm until one establishment owner saw right through the man’s act and started showing other local restaurants photos of him, and warning them not to fall for his heart-attack routine. (The restaurant owners have agreed that if he tries it again, they’ll give him the Heimlich maneuver – REEEEEAL GOOD!)
➢ Japan Airlines had to schedule an extra flight because a group of flying sumo wrestlers exceeded the weight limit. The nightmare at 30,000 pounds occurred when the titanic tusslers were slated to fly from Tokyo and Osaka to attend the Special National Sports Festival. However, after calculating that the sumo wrestlers weighed a whopping 264.5 pounds (120kg) on average — 100 pounds (45kg) more than the typical passenger, travel authorities grew concerned that the 2 Boeing 737-800s wouldn’t be able to carry enough fuel due to weight restrictions, so the airline decided to book an additional flight for 27 members of the sumo crew, at the last minute. In addition, Amami Airport is known to be difficult both to arrive at and depart from, especially for large aircraft. (Plus, a crash would have left a VERY negative impression!)
-OddityCentral, NYPost
CHUCKPOCALYPSE:
We’re sure you heard the news this week that 83-year-old Chuck Norris is co-starring with Vanilla Ice in a film called “Zombie Plane”. (What? You haven’t heard?) Anyway, as soon as the action-comedy, which was shot in Australia earlier this year, was announced, the Chuck Norris/airplane/zombie jokes started to…uh…come to life. Here are the worst of them…
☞ “Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 zombies… then it exploded.”
☞ “When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn’t try to survive. The zombies do.”
☞ “When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn’t turn into a zombie; the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.”
☞ “There will never be a zombie apocalypse because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.”
☞ “Man uses machines to defy the laws of gravity to fly, but Chuck Norris flies because gravity dares not defy him.”
☞ “A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.”
☞ “When Chuck Norris was 5, he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.”
☞ “Chuck Norris provides close air support via flying roundhouse kicks.”
☞ “Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar; if he appears, it’s too late; you’re already dead.”
(If you ask me, the movie already sounds like a punchline!)
-EW, Messenger
DID YOU KNOW?
You definitely can’t just kick your feet up while inside a driverless car (even though a glance at the news will tell you that some people do!). Researchers from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology delved into the hazards of engaging in certain distracting activities while inside autonomous vehicles. Their research aimed to understand the challenges of suddenly having to retake control during an emergency. They tested people’s response time in emergencies after engaging in activities such as writing business emails, watching videos, or simply resting with their eyes closed. They found that all of these tasks “worsened the takeover and led to a period of poorer driving.” Resting resulted in the worst takeover response, followed by working. Social media was less disruptive – but the longer the participant engaged in an activity, the worse their response was to an emergency. (That’s the first time I’ve ever come across the words “social media” and “less disruptive” in the same sentence!)
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 10.20.23
TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Brandied Fruit Day”, a day to celebrate booze with a pit.
• “International Day of the Air Traffic Controller”, recognizing the attentive people who keep flight passengers safe by acting as an eye in the sky. (It’s considered one of the most stressful jobs, but it’s the pilot who gets the applause when the plane lands safely!)
• “Suspenders Day”. If you prefer suspenders instead of a belt (how snappy!), this would be your day to celebrate. (We think the inventor of suspenders deserves the “No belt” prize!)
• “Chicken and Waffles Day”, only celebrated since 2021, but definitely worth celebrating! Chicken and waffles generally consist of a waffle that is served with fried chicken and covered with butter and syrup. Variations date as far back as the 17th century.
• “Mammography Day”, observed on the 3rd Friday in October, “Breast Cancer Awareness Month”. On this day, or sometime this month, women are encouraged to make a mammography appointment.
• “World Osteoporosis Day”, focusing awareness on a major cause of bone fractures in older persons. Osteoporosis is a disease in which the density and quality of bone is reduced, increasing the risk of fracture.
• “International Chefs Day”. Since 2004, to celebrate the profession, and to remember that it is also a chef’s duty to pass on knowledge and culinary skills to the next generation. LINK: https://worldchefs.org/internationalchefsday/
SATURDAY-
• “Back to the Future Day”, This is the date that ‘Marty McFly’ and ‘Doc Brown’ travelled to the future (from 1985 to 2015) in their DeLorean time machine, in Stephen Spielberg’s “Back To The Future: Part II.”
• “International Day of the Nacho”, celebrating the popular snack food that originated in Mexico. Created in 1943 by Ignacio ‘Nacho’ Anaya at the “Victory Club” restaurant in Piedras Negras, original nachos consisted of fried tortilla chips covered with melted cheese and jalapeño peppers.
• “Babbling Day”, a day of tolerance for those who run off at the mouth. (And yet, despite the look on my face, they’re still talking…)
• “Garbanzo Bean Day”, celebrating the legume also known as the chickpea. They can be eaten cold in salads or cooked in stews. They’re also the basis of the popular dip hummus.
• “Pumpkin Cheesecake Day”, a seasonal dish traditionally made with a graham cracker crust and a pumpkin purée cheesecake filling.
• “Reptile Awareness Day”, to raise awareness that habitat-loss and the threat of extinction are significant concerns in the world of reptilian life. (And hopefully, we can come up with a way to provide some gator-aid…)
SUNDAY-
• “INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY”. The annual celebration of one of the more useful keys on the keyboard (Unlike ‘Scroll Lock’). Today, you’re encouraged to make use of the CAPS LOCK key on your keyboard or keypad. (But remember, the day is not called “ALL CAPS ALL DAY” day…)
• “Mother-in-Law Day”, There’s a common assumption that they are unappreciated, joked about, and generally maligned. That might not be the case, but most of the time they aren’t honored as they deserve. Today, we honor mothers-in-law “for their contributions to the success of families and for their good humor in enduring bad jokes.” (What’s your best one? Whoops – there I go again…)
• “International Stuttering Awareness Day”, originated in 1998 to raise public awareness of the millions who suffer from the speech disorder. LINK: http://www.stutteringhelp.org
• “Nut Day”. Ask anyone to name a nut, and most will say ‘peanut’, which isn’t a nut at all, but a legume. Definition of a nut: “A hard, dry, indehiscent fruit formed from 2 or more carpels but containing only 1 seed.” It’s one of nature’s most perfect foods. (BTW, ‘indehiscent’ means “not splitting open to release the seeds when ripe”)
• “Smart is Cool Day”, a day to celebrate those who are often labeled ‘egghead’ or ‘smarty-pants’. If there’s ever a time to show off your IQ test results, this is probably it.
• “Clean Up the Earth Day”, exactly 6 months after Earth Day, this is a day to reflect on the progress that has been made to make a cleaner world in the past half-year, and a day to redouble efforts to make the world a cleaner place in the future.
• “Color Day”, to learn how colors can affect both body and mind, and to encourage us to learn about how colors can influence mood, emotions, productivity, and behavior. (Sounds pretty black and white to me…)
• “Eat a Pretzel Day”, Soft or hard, twisted into a knot or straight, large or small, salted or plain, served with mustard or cheese—there are many types of pretzels and ways to eat them. (And eat them we shall!)
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [65] Viggo Mortensen, New York City NY, movie actor (“Green Book”, “Lord of the Rings” films)
1964 [59] Kamala Harris, Oakland CA, politician-lawyer (since 2021, the first female US Vice President, the highest-ranking female official in US history)
1965 [58] William Zabka, New York City NY, movie actor (“Karate Kid”)/TV actor (“Cobra Kai”) since 2018
1971 [52] Jimi Westbrook, Sumiton AL, country guitarist-vocalist (Little Big Town-‘Day Drinking’, ‘Girl Crush’)/married to bandmate Karen Fairchild since 2006
1971 [52] Snoop Dogg (Calvin Broadus), Long Beach CA, rapper (w/Katy Perry-‘California Girlz’, f/Pharrell-‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’)/movie actor (“Soul Plane”, “Old School”)
1978 [45] Paul Wilson, Kinlochleven Scotland, alt-rock bass player (Snow Patrol-‘Take Back the City’, ‘Chasing Cars’)
1979 [44] John Krasinski, Newton MA, movie actor-director (“A Quiet Place” movies)/TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/married to Emily Blunt since 2010. COMING UP… “IF”, 2024
SATURDAY- Judy Sheindlin (“Judge Judy”) is 81; Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is 74; Steve Lukather (Toto) is 66; Matthew Ramsey (Old Dominion) is 46; Kim Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) is 43; Kane Brown (w/Chris Young-‘Famous Friends’) is 30; Doja Cat (‘Say So’) is 28
SUNDAY- Christopher Lloyd (“Back to the Future”) is 85; Jeff Goldblum (“Jurassic Park”) is 71; Bob Odenkirk (“Better Call Saul”) is 61; Shaggy (‘It Wasn’t Me’) is 55; Spike Jonze (director-“Where the Wild Things Are”) is 54; Jesse Tyler Ferguson (“Modern Family”) is 48; Michael Fishman (“Rosanne”) is 42; Zac Hanson (Hanson) is 38; Jonathan Lipnicki (“Jerry McGuire”) is 33
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ:
1998 [25] Comedian Richard Pryor is awarded the first-ever Mark Twain Prize for American Humour
2000 [23] Ice-T, who in 1992 released the incendiary song ‘Cop Killer’, makes his debut on the TV show “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”, playing…a cop: ‘Detective Fin Tutuola’
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1977 [46] Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Ronnie Van Zant and Steve Gaines die when the band’s plane crashes in Mississippi. Gaines’ sister, backup singer Cassie, is also killed, along with 2 pilots and the band’s manager. (The band regroups in 1987 with Ronnie’s brother Johnny on vocals…still going…)
2016 [07] Little Big Town release the single ‘Better Man’, which they later reveal was written by Taylor Swift, marking the first time she pitched a song to another artist
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1992 [31] In the first World Series game played outside the US, the Toronto Blue Jays beat Atlanta Braves, 3-2 at SkyDome in Toronto, Canada
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The typewriter was invented before the fountain pen.
✓ The Sun makes a sound in the form of pressure waves, but it is beyond the range of human hearing.
✓ There’s no mercury on Mercury — most of it is solid iron.
✓ There are 2 mountain volcanoes in Hawaii, which are more than twice as high as Everest. But they aren’t officially considered the tallest mountains because 4.2km of their heights are underwater.
✓ It is possible to die laughing, and a number of people have, typically due a heart attack or suffocation.
✓ In the 13th century, Europeans baptized children with beer.
-UberFacts, BBC
Best of BS . . .
DATING VS MARRIAGE FROM A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE:
Dating – He takes you out to have a good time.
Married – He brings home a 6 pack and asks, “What are you going to drink?”
Dating – He holds your hand in public.
Married – He gives your ear a ‘wet willy’ in public.
Dating – Passing gas is never an issue.
Married – You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times.
Dating – He likes to discuss things.
Married – He develops a blank stare.
Dating – A single bed for 2 isn’t that bad.
Married – A king size bed feels like an army cot.
Dating – You get turned on at the sight of him naked.
Married – You think to yourself, “Was he always this hairy?”
Dating – You picture the two of you together, growing old together.
Married – You wonder who will die first.
Dating – Just looking at him makes you feel all mushy.
Married – When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.
Dating – He calls you by name.
Married – He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She”.
-Adapted from FunnyLists, first published in BS in 2016
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ A study suggests that children who eat fast food have lower IQs than kids who eat nutritious meals. (Still, both are smarter than that kid who eats paste!)
➠ A report claims that you can save about $750 a year on food by becoming a vegetarian. (But you’ll probably spend $1,500 in smug bumper stickers!)
➠ Scientists have discovered that in every cubic meter of air, there are between 1.6 million and 40 million viruses — and between 860,000 and 11 million bacteria. (…a little more in the Kardashians’ neighborhood!)
➠ Scientists say how you like your eggs could indicate your sex drive. (For instance, if you like your eggs while having sex, you have a high sex drive…!)
➠ Snoop Dogg celebrates his 52nd birthday today. (This is one of the few times when the birthday boy is ‘baked’ more than his cake!)
BE WEB GOODIE:
Appropriate reaction (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/bdzhfa2h
BS RANDOM JOKE:
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a survey, 19% of women said they find THESE men mysterious and attractive. Who are they?
Answer: Jailbirds
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You’ll instantly discover true happiness when you stop looking for reasons to be unhappy.
