Thursday, October 8, 2020 — Edition: #6825

The BS Press!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “BS” service for Monday October 12 to observe Canadian Thanksgiving. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, Oct. 13. With leftovers.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ One of the world’s most popular games has been given the ultimate festive twist from what might be the world’s favorite Christmas film. That’s right, it’s time to play “Elf Monopoly”. Gamers are promised a ‘trip down memory lane’ in the re-imagined version of Monopoly, with iconic characters, locations and quotes from the 2003 movie starring Will Ferrell. The Amazon listing says: “Celebrating the classic holiday comedy, this custom edition of Monopoly will have you collecting and trading wonderous landmarks along the path of Buddy’s journey, like Santa’s Workshop, Gimbel’s Toy Department, and the Lincoln Tunnel.  It’s available now, for US $63.
-LADBible
★ Will Smith and his family have been honored by Robin Williams’ children for their “longstanding contributions to the world.” The Robin Williams Legacy of Laughter Award was established in honor of the late actor after his death in 2014. In a YouTube video shared by Smith, he accepted the award virtually alongside his family, with son Jaden joining them via FaceTime as he was awaiting COVID-19 test results. Referring to the fact that both Williams and Smith played ‘The Genie’ in Aladdin films, Williams’ son Zak said: “From one genie family to another, thanks for sharing your phenomenal cosmic powers with the world.”
-People
★ Warner Bros is delaying the release of “Dune” and “The Batman” movies, another setback for the entertainment industry hit by COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns and social distancing measures that have closed theatres worldwide. The movie industry received a jolt when Cineworld, the world’s second-biggest cinema chain, said it would close its U.K. and U.S. movie theatres, blaming the decision on the reluctance of studios to go ahead with major releases. “Dune” is now scheduled to open in October 2021, instead of December, while the release of “The Batman,” starring Robert Pattinson, has been moved from Oct. 2021 to the spring of 2022.
-Canoe
★ Robert Downey Jr. wants to launch a Sherlock Holmes film universe. He played the legendary detective in Guy Ritchie’s take on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s character in the 2009 film and its 2011 sequel “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”. Downey says he thinks the character has the potential to be the subject of a Marvel-style film universe, and “At this point, we really feel there’s not a mystery-verse built out anywhere, and Conan Doyle is the definitive voice in that arena to this day.” He is set to reprise his role alongside Jude Law as ‘Dr. John Watson’ in a third film, which is slated for release in December 2021.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Eddie Redmayne, Guy Raz, Lele Pons x Guaynaa
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mindy Kaling, John Brennan
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jim Parsons, Amber Ruffin, Yaa Gyasi
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Armie Hammer, Surfaces
• “Conan” (TBS): Beth Stelling (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Mariah Carey
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Marsha Blackburn
• “The Talk” (CBS): Taraji P. Henson, Jay Shetty
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Uma Thurman, JP Saxe
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Silverman, Jeff Foxworthy, Bon Jovi
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Michael Strahan, Haley Lu Richardson, John Kanell, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sabrina Carpenter, Zara Larsson
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Kathie Lee Gifford, Eva Chen, Nadia Caterina
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): NFLPA Legends compete against NFLPA Pro-Bowlers; rappers Macklemore and Lil Yachty compete.
• “CONNECTING…” (NBC): Series premiere. As the friend group gathers for its new-normal virtual hang, Annie contemplates opening up to Ben about her feelings; Jazmin has been MIA.
• “The Outpost” (CW): Season 3 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga – leads with 7 nominations for the 2020 MTV Europe Music Awards, followed by BTS and Justin Bieber, with 5 each. Gaga’s nominations include best artist, best pop and best video for her collaboration with Ariana Grande on ‘Rain on Me’. Fans can vote until Nov. 2. The ceremony will air globally on MTV Nov. 8.
• Miley Cyrus – will star in a new episode of “MTV Unplugged” airing Oct. 16. She’ll perform a mix up of her own songs and covers from her home in Los Angeles. The setlist includes Britney Spears’ ‘Gimme More’, as well as Cyrus’ newest single, “Midnight Sky”.
• Drake – sent a video message to a young fan after hearing about 14-year-old Zelek Murray’s battle with a rare form of brain cancer. He said, in part, “(My friend Mustafa and I) thought it would be a great thing if I could send you some love and admiration and respect. I can’t imagine how tough you have to be. Mustafa let me know you’re a fan of mine, well, I’m a fan of you….)
• Green Day – frontman Billie Joe Armstrong will release the solo album “No Fun Mondays” on Nov. 27. It will feature covers of songs including The Bangles’ ‘Manic Monday’, Tommy James’ ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’, and John Lennon’s ‘Gimme Some Truth’.
• Rolling Stones — Ronnie Wood has revealed — he loves knitting. He’s been sober for a decade, and in place of getting drunk and high, he says he stays in and makes “endless scarves now.”
• Fleetwood Mac – Thanks to the buzz generated by that viral TikTok video, their song ‘Dreams’ has captured its largest streaming week ever. It garnered 8.47 million on-demand streams in the U.S. in the week ending Oct. 1 (up 125% over the previous week).
• Rod Stewart – says he and Elton John still aren’t speaking after falling out last year after Stewart criticized John’s decision to head out on an extensive farewell tour, as well as calling his “Rocketman” biopic “not very flattering”. As an olive branch, Stewart says he emailed an invite to John and his children to visit and use his football pitch, and didn’t receive a reply.
• Sara Evans – is among the country stars who will star in Hallmark Channel’s upcoming television film “A Nashville Christmas Carol”. Inspired by the classic “A Christmas Carol” it will also feature RaeLynn, Kix Brooks and Wynonna Judd, plus actors Jessy Schram, Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Wes Brown. It premieres Nov. 21.
• Kane Brown – will perform at the 2020 Billboard Music Awards on Oct. 14. He will be joined by Khalid and Swae Lee for a performance of their collaboration ‘Be Like That’. Brown is up for three trophies: Top Country Artist, Top Country Male Artist and Top Country Album.
• Ingrid Andress – has been announced among the latest round of 2020 CMT Music Awards performers. Hardy, Caylee Hammack, Mickey Guyton, Riley Green and Travis Denning will also all perform on the Ram Trucks Side Stage for the awards on Oct. 21.

SINGING IN THE SHOWER:
A Canadian karaoke bar is letting customers sing in the shower during the pandemic to keep people safe. Tracie’s Place Karaoke Bar and Restaurant in Hamilton, Ontario had a shower stall constructed on the stage after it was allowed to reopen in July with strict protocols due to COVID-19. The cubicle of clear plastic shower curtains is “a great way to stay sanitized ad keep everything clean” according to owner Tracie England, who points out she plays a song between each singer, which gives her a chance to clean the shower stall. Shower curtains also separate the tables.
(There’s a real risk here. A risk that someone will decide to sing ‘It’s Raining Men’!)
(I’m not sure if singers have to wear a mask, too, but I know every time I sing karaoke, I’m told to cover my face!)
(I know we’re supposed to be washing a lot these days, but…)
-NYPost

TECH UPDATE:
⇒ Instagram is celebrating its 10th birthday with a few new features. The new “Stories Map” is designed to help you find old stories by displaying a calendar of when they were posted. Stories usually vanish off a user’s profile after 24 hours, and enter an archive. There are two new anti-bullying features too – one hides comments that Instagram believes are similar to ones previously flagged as abusive. They can still be seen if a user taps “View Hidden Comments.” Instagram is also displaying new warnings for users who repeatedly post comments flagged as abusive, encouraging them to think twice before hitting send. The photo-sharing app was first launched on the App Store on October 6 2010. (I’ll finally figure Insta out right about when it becomes passé. What? Too late?)
⇒ You’ve heard of “touchless” payment, but he’s a new angle on that from Amazon. The retailer’s physical retail team is introducing a new biometric device that will allow shoppers to pay at Amazon Go stores using…the palm of their hand. This week, the company introduced its “contactless” Amazon One, a scanner where you’ll first insert your credit card, then hover your palm over the device to associate your palm signature with your payment mechanism. Once your card is on file, you’ll be able to enter the store in the future simply by holding your palm above the Amazon One device for a second or so. When you’re done shopping, your items will be associated with your payment method via your palm print. Amazon says the new device uses technology in real time to create the unique palm signature because palm recognition is more private than photographing customers’ faces.
(Because no one has their hands full when they’re out shopping, do they?)
(Well, you can’t say it’s not a handy payment option…)
-TechCrunch, BusinessInsider

FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM PARENTS:
⇒ Why would I spend $5 on a bag of apples at the store when I can wear warm fall clothes in 88° weather and pay $36 for our family to pick them ourselves? – Simon Holland
⇒ Can Chris Wallace be replaced with a mom who’s been home with her kids since March? – Wendi Aarons
⇒ My sons started calling each other pudgy and skinny and I told them no body shaming, so now they’re calling each other idiots which I’m totally cool with. – Sweet Momissa
⇒ My 4yo thinks she looks just like Elsa because “they both have necks” – Professional Worrier
⇒ What I say: “don’t do that it’s dangerous” What my toddler hears: “prove to me you’re not a coward” – The Dad
⇒ My 6-year-old asked me if parenting is hard and I’m not saying I lied, but I did the thing all parents do: I downplayed the truth just so someday I’ll get me some grandchildren. – Mommy Owl
…AND A FEW FROM PET OWNERS:
⇒ Only interested in folks who look at me the same way my dog looks at squirrels. – Petra Hunter
⇒ If I could say one sentence to cats and make them understand it, it would probably be, “When you puke, please try to do it on a hard surface.” – Tom Cox
⇒ My cat constantly cries to go out the front door lately.. (he’s an indoor cat) and I’ve never related to him more… – Gingy the Ginger Queen
⇒ I understand cats better now…When you’re upset, sometimes you just want to hiss at everything – celine
-HuffPost

DID YOU KNOW?
“Ambiancé” is an upcoming experimental film by the Swedish director Anders Weberg. The film, with a projected release date of December 31, 2020, will have a running time of 720 hours, or 30 days. One of the trailers is over 7 hours long.
-Independent

BS CHRONOMETER 10.08.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [81] Paul Hogan, Sydney Australia, movie actor (“Crocodile Dundee” movies)

1943 [77] (Cornelius) Chevy Chase, New York City NY, comedian-TV actor (“Saturday Night Live” 1975-2013, “Community” 2009-14)/movie actor (“Vacation” movies)

1949 [71] Sigourney (Susan) Weaver, New York City NY, movie actress (“Avatar”, “Alien” movies) COMING UP…“Ghostbusters: Afterlife″, 2021

1970 [50] Matt Damon, Cambridge MA, movie actor (“The Martian”, ‘Jason Bourne’ films)/screenwriter (Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”) COMING UP…”Stillwater”

1980 [40] Nick Cannon, San Diego CA, TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” 2009-16)/movie actor (“Drumline”)/married to Mariah Carey 2008-15

1985 [35] Bruno Mars (Peter Hernandez), Honolulu HI, pop singer-songwriter-producer (‘Locked Out of Heaven’, Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars-‘Uptown Funk’)

1993 [27] Angus T. Jones, Austin TX, TV actor (‘Jake’ on “Two and a Half Men”, 2003-15)

1997 [23] Bella Thorne, Pembroke Pines FL, model-TV actress (“Shake It Up”, 2010-13)/movie actress (“The Duff”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Pierogi Day” (also spelled pyrogy, perogi, pirogi), honoring the traditional Eastern European dish consisting of boiled dumplings of unleavened dough stuffed with various ingredients. They’re best served while wearing a babushka. So, what’s the yummiest kind?

• “Touch Tag Day”, an annual salute to the schoolyard game that almost every kid has played in some version. The game that’s variously known as ‘Touch’, ‘Tag’, ‘It’, ‘Chasey’, and ‘Catching’ has been played by children for thousands of years, going back as far as Ancient Egypt. Best thing about it … the equipment is really cheap!

• “World Octopus Day”, an annual celebration of the odd animal with 8 semi-autonomous arms, thousands of smart suckers, cold-adapted blue blood, 3 beating hearts, and eerily advanced intelligence.
(BS FUN FACT: The plural for octopus is ‘octopuses’. While Merriam-Webster points out that people also refer to ‘octopi’ and ‘octopodes’ in modern usage, it’s still considered incorrect.)

• “Fluffernutter Day”, a sandwich consisting of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, or creme, that is usually served on white bread. Sometimes foods such as bacon or bananas are added to the fluffernutter as well.

• “National Depression Screening Day”, helps raise awareness of depression through a short, anonymous and free online depression screening test with complete anonymity, from any computer or mobile device LINK:  https://test4depression.com/english.html

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Curious Events Day
[Fri] Fire Prevention Day
[Sat] Hug a Drummer Day
[Sat] National Angel Food Cake Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [16] Martha Stewart begins her prison sentence after being convicted of securities fraud, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy in a stock trading case (She has said her prison nickname was “M. Diddy”)

2015 [05] Selena Gomez reveals that she suffers from the autoimmune disease Lupus

TODAY IN MUSIC . . .
1971 [49] John Lennon releases his peace anthem ‘Imagine’. “Rolling Stone” later ranks it #3 in its list of “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time”

2019 [01] Pitbull trademarks his famous “grito” yell (‘EEEEEEEYOOOOOO.’), making it one of the few sounds protected by trademark, and likely the first by a musical artist

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [06] Buffalo Bills are sold to businessman Terry Pegula for $1.4 billion, the highest price paid in history for an NFL team (late previous owner Ralph Wilson paid $25,000 in 1959)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The memory capacity of the human brain is equivalent to more than four terabytes.
✓ On average, a person’s respiration rate is one third higher in spring than in autumn.
✓ Female lions prefer males with dark manes.
✓ In China, schools run from 7:30am to 5:00pm.
✓ The most popular fruit worldwide is the tomato. If you don’t consider tomato a fruit, it’s the banana.
✓ The rate at which a person’s hair grows doubles during an airplane flight.
-BrightSide, BathroomReadersInstitute

BS AMAZING TURKEY FACTS:
• An adult turkey has about 3,500 feathers.
• Male turkeys are called ‘gobblers’ after the gobble call they make to announce themselves to females. Other turkey sounds include ‘purrs’, ‘yelps’, and ‘kee-kees’.
• Both gobblers and hens have a ‘snood’ (a dangle-y appendage on the face), a ‘wattle’ (the red bit hanging under the chin), and only a few feathers on the head.
• Eating the skin on a serving of roast turkey (dark meat) adds about 18% more calories to a serving without the skin.
• Nutritionists believe that the amount of tryptophan in turkey is insufficient by itself to induce sleepiness. Rather, it’s the traditional bread-potato-stuffing-pie Thanksgiving meal as a whole that triggers after-dinner lethargy (plus all that wine…).
-CNN, Smithsonian

Best of BS . . .
BS THANKSGIVING ‘TO-DO’ LIST:
• Go to supermarket, try to fit 3 frozen turkeys in pants.
• To give turkey delicious smoky flavor, leave in garage 4 days with car running.
• Buy fake severed finger to put in stuffing … a sure laugh-getter.
• Boil down bag of cranberries to make sauce which will stay untouched in the refrigerator until next July.
• Hook up tubing for gravy I-V.
• Check mother-in-law’s plane reservations. Give thanks for round-trip tickets.
• Practice Heimlich maneuver.
• Be prepared … unbuckle pants now.
-First published in BS in 2015

BS MISHEARD QUOTES:
• Money is the loot of all evil.
• You are either with us…or taking an Uber.
• Dance like everybody’s watching…and judging you.
• Speak softly and carry a big stick…of gum.
• I love the smell of lip balm in the morning.
• I feel the need, the need for weed!
• If you miss 100% of the shots you take, you suck.
• Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall — and re-build it near Mexico.
• [***CAUTION***] I came here to kick ass and to chew bubble-gum. Does anyone have a piece of gum?
• [***CAUTION***] Wow! This guy’s got the force coming out his ass!
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Lady Gaga leads 2020 MTV EMA nominations, followed by BTS and Justin Bieber. (“That’s right . . .Damn! WE DO NEED ANOTHER AWARDS SHOW!” — said nobody ever.)
➠ A Colorado man was gored in the back and taken to the hospital after a wild elk charged his golf cart. (His playing partners knew there was a problem when they discovered two holes on the final green…)
➠ Sofia Vergara has once again topped the “Forbes” list of the world’s highest paid actresses.  (So, better luck next year, Tori Spelling!)
➠ An employee has been accused of stealing at least $1.3 million in printer toner from Austin Public Library and re-selling it online. (Luckily for him, he’ll soon be in the Pen with a long Sentence to make…)
➠ Russian President Vladimir Putin turned 68 yesterday. (For his enemies, he didn’t make a wish.  Instead he just offered them some cake and punch…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
The person flying the drone did pretty well, too:  https://tinyurl.com/y3mzaqaf

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your favorite way to waste time (BESIDES playing with your smartphone)?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
Question:  An estimated 42% of Thanksgiving dinners feature THIS. What?
Answer:  A kid’s table

Question:  40% of us secretly eat chocolate. The top 5 places where we eat our secret stash are: on the way home from work…at our desk at work…standing in front of the fridge…whenever our significant other leaves the room…and…where?
Answer:  Under the covers in bed

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.