Tuesday, October 24, 2023 – Edition: #7581
Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson says he’s going to ask a museum to make some “improvements” to a wax figure supposedly in his likeness that depicts him with white skin. The Musée Grévin waxwork museum in Paris unveiled its baffling creation last week, with images of the light-skinned work quickly going viral as fans reacted with horror and hilarity at the inexplicable way Johnson had been rendered. Johnson shared a clip of comedian James Andre Jefferson Jr. roasting the waxwork on Instagram, and wrote: “For the record, I’m going to have my team reach out to our friends at Grevin Museum…so we can work at ‘updating’ my wax figure here with some important details and improvements- starting with my skin color. And next time I’m in Paris, I’ll stop in and have a drink with myself.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mrwtk39w
-DailyBeast
★ Mayim Bialik is not too happy about a “Saturday Night Live” parody that mocked her nose with a fake prosthetic. The “Jeopardy!” host recalled feeling “ashamed” of the 1994 sketch in a new interview. Long before she stood behind the hosting podium, she was a child star on the sitcom “Blossom”, which was parodied in a SNL sketch featuring Melanie Hutsell, wearing a prosthetic and playing Bialik’s character. Although she admits: “The actress portraying me…was hilarious…but…she wore a fake, big nose. The “Big Bang Theory” alum says that struck her as odd, because “no one else on the show was parodied for their features.”
-TheBlast
★ Cher claims she “probably” won’t marry her toyboy lover, Alexander ‘A.E.’ Edwards, even though he gave her a diamond ring at Christmas. The 77-year-old superstar was first linked to the 37-year-old producer last November, and they recently got back together after a brief split, but in an interview she was asked if she would ever get married again and she replied: “Probably not. Because I’ve done it.” But she added: “I’m really happy with Alexander.” And that diamond ring? She doesn’t refer to it as an engagement ring. Quote: “He just wanted to give it to me.”
-ContactMusic
★ ‘James Bond’ fans will have to wait a while to see who the next ‘007’ will be, according to producer Barbara Broccoli. In an interview Broccoli shared that executives “haven’t even begun” modernizing the franchise, and there is a “big road ahead” before the Bond character is “reinvented for the next chapter.” Broccoli praised what Daniel Craig, who retired from the role in 2021, brought, saying he “gave us the ability to mine the emotional life of the character…and…the world was ready for it.” Now, the producer says, the job is to “focus on what a 21st-century hero would look like.”
-Variety
★ Britney Spears briefly deactivated her Instagram account ahead of the release of her memoir “The Woman in Me”. Her book drops today, but it has been making headlines with its revelations – including that she aborted Justin Timberlake’s baby – after copies were accidentally put on sale early in Mexico. Before removing, then restoring, her Instagram over the weekend, she posted a message expressing her worries over the public’s reactions to her autobiography, and writing: “I don’t like the headlines I am reading. That’s exactly why I quit the business 4 years ago !!!”
-ContactMusic
★ Former NFL tight end Rob Gronkowski is the new host of the L.A. Bowl, it has been announced. He replaces Jimmy Kimmel, who served since the bowl game’s inception. In an X video, the former All-Pro tight end says: “It’s Gronk’s turn now … I can get used to this.” Gronkowski played for the New England Patriots and won 3 Super Bowls, emerging from retirement to win one more with Tampa. The third 2023 L.A. Bowl will be held Dec. 16 at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4549nnp7
-Deadline
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Olivia Rodrigo, Eric André
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): John Stamos, Tyla, Mick Jagger
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jim Gaffigan, Caroline Polachek
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Nate Bargatze, Andrew Rannells, Jesmyn Ward
• “The Daily Show (COM): Guest host Desus Nice
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kyle Cooke, Brian Benni
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): John Stamos, Harry Dunn
• “The Talk” (CBS): Adrienne Bailon-Houghton, Crystal Kung Minkoff
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Heidi Gardner
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Sam Heughan, Jana Kramer
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Cleo Wade
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Derek Hough
• “MLB Playoffs (Check local listings): NLCS game 7 (if necessary): Arizona @ Philadelphia
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC): The 10 remaining couples perform dances inspired by a pivotal year that held great significance in their lives.
• “The Voice” (NBC): Recap: The Battles, Part 2
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Doja Cat – Usher serenaded her for her birthday in Las Vegas. During his Fri. residency show, he crooned his sexy #1 hit ‘There Goes My Baby’, to her in the front row, singing: “Loving everything you do,” and letting the audience take over for “Ooh girl, look at you,” as the pair danced. Cat turned 28 on Saturday. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2ppujt7z
• Kanye West – is not running for president in 2024. After a failed long-shot bid for the White House in 2020, Ye will not challenge President Joe Biden next November, according to his personal attorney, Bruce Marks.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers — Keanu Reeves once received a bass guitar lesson from Flea. The actor, who plays in the band Dogstar, has revealed he asked Flea for advice when they met on a movie set. Speaking on Fender’s YouTube channel, Reeves said: “I was like, ‘Hey, Flea, can you give me a lesson?’ And he was like, ‘Sure, man!”
• Rolling Stones – How “everywhere” are they these days? The group’s iconic Tongue and Lips logo will be displayed on Barcelona’s jerseys for their match against Real Madrid on Saturday, in place of the Spotify emblem. Fans can also, of course, buy their own jersey with the Stones’ logo. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yc5fduxn
• Poison — Brett Michaels has adopted a dog named ‘Bret Michaels’. Last week, the Nebraska Humane Society posted that the 6-year-old husky had saved the life of a kitten by having its blood used in a transfusion. Later, the NHS wrote: “word got around to THE Bret Michaels who loved the story…and guess who’s gonna be living the rock star life from here on out?” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2wwszx4a
• Chris Young – wowed fans Friday when he posted pics showing the results of his workout regimen. He uploaded a shirtless pic to Instagram with the caption: “Just gonna leave this here,” with the hashtag, #results. Fans were quick to praise his transformation — especially the female ones. In Aug., he posted that he was down 60lbs. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yac8rfab
• Luke Grimes – The “Yellowstone” actor has dropped his debut EP “Pain Pills or Pews”. He says the 8 songs on it were chosen “because they felt the most personal”, and even the ones written by others “felt almost biographical”. His fav? ‘Ain’t Dead Yet’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5n88txkp
• Scotty McCreery – A day after being inducted into the North Carolina Music Hall of Fame, he dropped the new, original holiday tune ‘Feel Like the Holidays’, on Friday. He said it has “a classic Christmas song vibe and puts you right in the mood for the holiday season.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ywymde5u
SHOOTING THE BULL
VOODOO SCHOOL:
It won’t be here in time for Halloween, but Britain’s Exeter University has announced it’ll offer an unusual postgraduate course next year for those looking to score a master’s degree in magic and occult science. The program will analyze the history of magic and witchcraft, as well as give an analysis of the occult in literature, philosophy, archaeology, sociology, psychology, drama and religion. Modules offered to students in the program will include dragons in western literature and art, the legend of King Arthur, paleography, archaeological theory and practice, the depiction of women in the Middle Ages and the philosophy of psychedelics.
(That last one just might explain EVERYTHING we need to know about this whole course!)
(We understand the exam at the end is a “spelling” test!)
-UPI
UBER EATS’ SPREADSHEETS:
(***Caution: preview for content***)
Delivery service Uber Eats has released its 5th annual “Cravings Report”, detailing the most popular, and more interestingly, the weirdest and most unpredictable special requests that customers have made so far this year. Among the highlights:
• A customer asked that a restaurant put her order into a box rather than a circular container, saying: “I refuse to eat any food if presented in a circle container. Please don’t ruin my meal for me.”
• Another demanded this: “Please drench the whole bowl in white sauce with a spiral of red sauce!!!! Thank you so much!!!! Just do what I ask.”
• Probably at the end of a night out, one customer asked for “Extra cheese sauce please 🙂 I’ll pay for it. I’m also drunk as f so if you load it up, you’d make me the happiest drunk girl ever.”
• A chicken lover specified: “Please fry my chicken VERY hard. Very very crispy. Almost burned!”
• Another ‘chicken orderer’ said: “My cats think your chicken is crack, so this is for them!”
• And this person must have had a craving: “Long time no order! Breasts please! Please fry me up some big ‘ole breasts! Thank you, so excited!”
And by the way, Uber also reported that the “wildest” food pairings of the year are: Cottage cheese & mustard, steak & jelly, condensed milk & avocado, seaweed & pasta sauce…and butter & pickled onions. (We’re sure the person who asked for that last combo was pregnant!)
-NYPost
GRUB HUB:
❑ If your partner has been bugging you to go on a “weight loss journey” together, let them know about this: Researchers from the University of Connecticut say they have found that dieting as a couple does not have a positive influence on the amount of weight one can expect to lose. In fact, they didn’t find any social influence at all between couples when it came to factors like self-control or “grit” (the capacity to persevere toward long-term goals), both of which have been linked to better weight loss and weight maintenance outcomes. (Go ahead on your own, baby. I’d only drag you down…literally!)
❑ You might think that with the recent popularity of appetite-supressing drugs, candy-makers could soon be feeling the crunch, due to a corresponding drop in sales. But Nestlé isn’t going down without a fight. The company has announced it is working on “companion products” for weight-loss drugs like Ozempic, and Wegovy. Nestlé claims there is a market for products that will allow those on weight-loss drugs to get the nutrients, minerals and nutrients they need — while still supporting their goals. (Do these people know that cucumbers have already been invented?)
-StudyFinds, NYPost
FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM WOMEN:
⇒ every sunday night i feel like bella in her depression chair in new moon – trish
⇒ Working In Office is soooo degrading why am I biking 3 miles in slacks at 8 am with a jar of beef stew in my backpack – manic pixie cheese curd
⇒ call me humpty dumpty, the way I am having a great fall – trash jones
⇒ Someone asked to share my table at a coffee shop and then asked me to leave the table because they have a meeting??? Am I in an episode of Seinfeld?? – Elizabeth Goodspeed
⇒ after u do your laundry u should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. no charge – chase
⇒ ‘I wasn’t born yesterday’ is such a perfect retort because it lets people know you’re not an idiot while also dunking on new born babies for being stupid – stoned cold fox
⇒ Be kind. Everyone is going through something. Heartache. Financial stress. Their bananas ripened too quickly. Having the song from the Jardiance commercial stuck in their head because it’s aired 5 million times a day. We all have our battles to fight. – Abby Heugel
⇒ a friend-in-law is one of your best friends’ best friends who you’ve met maybe 4 times but you know everything about their job, relationships, career, family, shame, dreams, medical history etc – Madeleine Aggeler
⇒ My in laws are visiting and I feel like my mother-in-law is much too smug for someone who’s son I’m still raising. – Tori Fletcher
⇒ Does THE PROCESS know I’m trusting it??????? – Felon Degeneres
-HuffPost
DID YOU KNOW?
Sure, e-bikes are a convenient and efficient mode of transportation. But it seems they’ve caught on in a surprising place: Amish communities. Although it’s commonly believed that the Amish reject any type of technology that isn’t several centuries old, in reality, there is no central Amish governing authority, and each community is allowed to make its own decisions about what tech it makes use of. And in Lancaster, Pennsylvania — home of numerous Amish communities — several churches have jumped astride the e-bike trend. As David Mullett, a member of the Old Order Amish Church and owner of an e-bike shop, points out: “It’s a lot quicker to jump on your bike and go into town than it is to bring your horse into the barn, harness it to the buggy, and go.” (Please tell me they’re not pulling their buggies with those things!)
-TheCoolDown
BS CHRONOMETER 10.24.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Food Day”, a day to resolve to make changes in our diets and take action to solve food-related problems in our communities.
• “Bologna Day”, a good day to fry up a slice to add to your peanut butter sandwich. Yummers!
• “United Nations Day”, honoring the 78th anniversary of the day in 1945 that the majority of the world’s countries adopted the charter that formed the UN.
• “40 Hour Workweek Day”, honoring the US Fair Labor Standards Act, which President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed into law to take effect on October 24, 1938. The law established a 40-hour workweek, as well as a minimum wage of 25 cents per hour.
• “National Crazy Day”, a day to bring out the child who lives in all of us, and do something outlandish to make others roll with laughter. (I wore one brown and one blue sock. Crazy, I know!)
• “Good and Plenty Day”, this is one of those candies that you either like or you definitely don’t. The licorice treat is the oldest brand of candy in the US. Good and Plenty was first made in 1893 by the Quaker City Confectionery Company of Philadelphia.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Pasta Day
[Wed] Punk For a Day Day
[Thurs] Mincemeat Day
[Fri] Cranky Co-Workers Day
This Week is…Disarmament Week
This Month is…Family History Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [87] Bill Wyman (Perks), London England, rock bassist (The Rolling Stones 1962-93-‘Satisfaction’, ‘Under My Thumb’)
1947 [76] Kevin Kline, St Louis MO, movie actor (“Sophie’s Choice”, Oscar-“A Fish Called Wanda”)/TV voice actor (“Bob’s Burgers” since 2011)/married to Phoebe Cates since 1989
1973 [50] Korie Robertson, Louisiana, reality TV star (“Duck Dynasty” 2012-2017)/married to Willie Robertson since 1992
1980 [43] Monica (Arnold), College Park GA, pop singer (‘So Gone’, w/Brandy-‘The Boy Is Mine’)
1980 [43] (Catharine) ‘Casey Wilson’, Alexandria VA, TV actress (“Happy Endings” 2011-13″, “Saturday Night Live” 2008-09)/movie actress “Gone Girl”
1986 [37] Drake (Aubrey Drake Graham), Toronto ON, rapper-pop singer-songwriter (‘Hotline Bling’, ‘In My Feelings’)/TV actor (“Degrassi: The Next Generation” 2001-08)
1989 [34] Shenae Grimes, Toronto ON, TV actress (“90210″ 2008-13, “Degrassi: The Next Generation” 2004-08)/movie actress (“Empire State”)
1989 [34] PewDiePie (Felix Kjellberg) Gothenburg Sweden, YouTube star (over 111 million subscribers and 29 billion views)/made Time’s 2016 list of the world’s 100 most influential people
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [34] Televangelist Jim Bakker is sentenced to 45 years in prison for fraud. The sentence is later reduced to 8 years on appeal
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1980 [43] Guinness presents Paul McCartney with a special ‘rhodium’ album for being the best-selling songwriter in the history of recorded music, having written 43 platinum songs and sold over 100 million records
1992 [31] ‘End Of The Road’ by Boyz II Men ties Elvis Presley’s ‘Don’t Be Cruel’/‘Hound Dog’ as the longest-running #1 single, with its 11th week at the top. It spends 2 more weeks there, but 3 months later Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ stays at #1 for 14 weeks (current record: Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus’ ‘Old Town Road’ – 19 weeks)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1992 [31] Toronto Blue Jays beat Atlanta Braves, 4-3 in Game 6 at Atlanta’s Fulton County Stadium to become the first team based outside the US to win the World Series
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1929 [94] “Black Thursday”, occurs, as panicked sellers trade nearly 13 million shares on the New York Stock Exchange (more than 3 times normal volume), and investors suffer $5 billion in losses, kicking off the Great Depression
2008 [15] “Bloody Friday” occurs, as many of the world’s stock exchanges crash, experiencing the worst declines in their histories (Not a great day of the year to be an investor…!)
2021 [02] Michael Jordan’s 1984 Nike Air Ships sell for $1.472 million at Sotheby’s, a new record for sneakers
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ According to a study, wealthy people are more likely to believe that greed is justified, beneficial, and morally defensible.
✓ According to a study, needles hurt less if you watch them being administered, rather than looking away.
✓ The world average annual egg consumption per capita is 230.
✓ In the Western World, people move, on average, every 7 years.
✓ It would take a manned rocket ship 70,000 years to reach the next closest solar system.
✓ An octopus actually has 6 arms and 2 legs, not 8 legs.
-DidYouKnow, UberFacts
BS SIGNS YOU’RE AT A LAME HALLOWEEN PARTY:
• When host runs out of fake blood, she stabs you with a fork.
• The scariest thing at the party is the expiration date on the onion dip.
• The only snack is pumpkin innards.
• Some guy named Shecky shows up wearing a mistletoe hat.
• ‘Balloon Boy’ just urped all over the rug.
• ‘Bobbing for apples’ inadvertently becomes ‘bobbing for Zika virus’.
• The Domino’s delivery guy shows up with your pizza and wins ‘Best Costume’.
-First published in BS in 2017
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ A report claims that attractive people are generally healthier than unattractive people. (Well, it’s nice to hear that attractive people are FINALLY getting a break in life!)
➠ A poll suggests that you are 75% more likely to divorce if one of your friends is also divorced. (Especially if you were the reason for their divorce!)
➠ A study found that alcohol works as an antidepressant. (In other news, MAN, I’m feeling great at work today!)
➠ A report says that Americans will spend over $8 billion celebrating Halloween. (Proving that dressing up like a cheap hooker – sure ain’t cheap!)
➠ Dwight Yoakam turned 67 yesterday. (Not saying he’s old, but these days, ‘A Thousand Miles From Nowhere’ is how it feels when he walks to the bathroom…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Needed this today (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/ds377667
BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you’ve ever done me wrong, be aware that my hairstylist knows, won’t ever forget, and probably strongly dislikes you.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What was your last ‘face-palm’ incident?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a survey, about 10% of people said they don’t like THIS food. What is it?
Answer: Pancakes
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It always seems impossible — until it’s done.
