October 26 2017

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Thursday, October 26, 2017 – Edition: #6084

Sheet Happens!

★ Robert Guillaume, who rose from squalid beginnings in St. Louis slums to become a star in stage musicals and win Emmy Awards for his portrayal of the sharp-tongued butler in the TV sitcoms “Soap” and “Benson,” has died at age 89. Guillaume died at home Tuesday in Los Angeles, according to his widow, Donna Brown Guillaume. He had been battling prostate cancer.
★ Mark Wahlberg is such a devout Catholic that he now regrets starring in the movie “Boogie Nights”.  The film, which centered on the San Fernando Valley porn industry from 1977-1984, featured Wahlberg as the aptly-named porn star ‘Dirk Diggler’. Now, Wahlberg says “I just always hope that God is a movie fan and also forgiving, because I’ve made some poor choices in my past”.  The two-time Golden Globe nominee also wants to set a good example for his 4 children, who range in age from 7 to 14.
(You want to talk about poor choices, how about ‘Ted’?  Or ‘Wahlburgers’??)
★ “Stranger Things” star Millie Bobby Brown is living up to her namesake … earning a cool “milli” to star in the new “Godzilla” sequel.  According to Brown’s contract which has surfaced online, the 13-year-old actress agreed to be paid $1,000,000, plus a cut of the back end, to star as Maddie in “Godzilla: King of Monsters.”
★ The View’s Star Jones has revealed that she’s set to get married.  Jones has been flashing a diamond ring from her beau Ricardo Lugo, an assistant state attorney in Illinois.  She is best known as one of the original co-hosts of the ABC morning talk show ‘The View’, on which she appeared from 1997 to 2006. But when she plugged her wedding products too often on the show, she was let go.  Jones divorced Al Reynolds nine years ago.
(We just hope that all this wedding excitement doesn’t get her fired again…from whatever it is she is doing now!)
★ ‘The Walking Dead’ hit a 5-year premiere low in viewers in its Season 8 debut on Sunday. Although it seems that the AMC drama is showing signs of age in season eight, it’s still TV’s biggest hit with adults 18-49. Initial Nielsen numbers give the episode an average 11.4 million viewers. Comparing those stats to the premiere a year ago shows a dramatic drop of 43 percent,  but that also isn’t entirely fair. The seventh-season premiere of The Walking Dead proved to be a ratings anomaly. Thanks to interest in a cliff-hanger, it neared series record highs, averaging 17 million viewers.
★ Ryan Reynolds turned 41 on Tuesday, a milestone that his wife, Blake Lively, celebrated with a photo of the ‘Deadpool’ star and his pal Ryan Gosling — but mostly of Gosling. The hilarious prank cropping comes a few months after Lively’s 30th birthday, which Reynolds marked with a sweet message and picture of the couple. Well, kind of, considering that Lively was was almost completely (and intentionally) cut out of that image.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Susan Sarandon, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, ODESZA
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kelly Ripa, Jim Jefferies, Cole Swindell, Stokley
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Julianne Moore, Jermaine Fowler, Capt. Scott Kelly
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Liev Schreiber, Cheryl Hines, Mikey Day, Sonny Emory
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Dustin Hoffman, Kenneth Branagh, Jordan Spieth
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Paul Weller
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Amy Sedaris, Henry Winkler
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Dr. Phil McGraw, Miles Teller
• “The Talk” (CBS): Natalia Dyer, Charlie Heaton, Joe Keery, Dacre Montgomery, Valerie Bertinelli, guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hugh Laurie, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Matt Damon, Luke Bryan

• Eminem — has been awarded $415,000 in damages from the New Zealand National Party for their unlicensed use of a variation of his hit song ‘Lose Yourself’, which appeared in his 2002 Academy Award winning movie ‘8 Mile’.
• Drake – had an epic 31st birthday celebration Monday night … and called it his “Re-Bar Mitzvah.” Included in the festivities:  pizza boxes printed up with pictures of little Drake from his original bar mitzvah at 13, and a marching band delivering a truckload of champagne.
• Luis Fonsi – he and Demi Lovato have confirmed that they’ve been working on something together. Both took to Instagram to hint about a music video they have apparently already filmed.
• Lady Gaga – her fans are bashing the Gaga wax figure that was unveiled at a museum in Lima, Peru. When images began hitting social media, users called the creation an “alien cockroach,” a bad “Donatella Versace” lookalike, and someone in need of “a Euro for a hostel.”
• Kid Rock – is not running for Senate in Michigan. He admitted he won’t be on the ballot on Tuesday, claiming that the months-long tease was really just a lark to help promote his new album, ‘Sweet Southern Sugar’.
• Bob Seger – has undergone surgery for a pinched vertebra in his neck.  The affliction had caused the postponement of his tour, but indications are that the procedure went well and makeup dates may be announced soon.
• Billy Joel – has welcomed his second daughter with wife Alexis. He shared the first photo of Remy Anne, who was born on Sunday.  Mom and baby are doing great. The two also have a two-year-old daughter, Della.
• Maren Morris – has revealed that she’s signed a major modeling deal with the renowned Wilhelmina agency.  According to her, “This is one of the most exciting things for me personally just because I’ve always loved fashion and I’ve loved pushing the envelope and I just feel like taking it the next level with Wilhelmina.”
• Alan Jackson – has released new a new song called ‘The Older I Get’, his first studio recording since 2015.  It will be featured on an album scheduled for 2018.  Jackson says, “This song reflects a lot of how I feel these days”.

Just when you thought it was safe to get back into your car….comes the news that the car industry has an exploding sunroof problem, according to data from Transport Canada.  Yes.  Exploding sunroofs.  Although still rare, occurrences of sunroofs spontaneously exploding have increased from zero in 2007 to over 110 in 2016.  According to those who have experienced it, when a sunroof blows, it makes an actual “exploding” sound.  Apparently sunroofs can explode for a variety of reasons.  Panoramic glass roofs and sunroofs are commonly made of tempered glass  which shatters into tiny pebbles rather than into sharp shards.  Tempered glass has spontaneously shattered for years, and the cause could be as basic as a nicked or chipped edge during installation, which eventually becomes a larger crack, causing the explosion.  The weather is another issue. As the glass expands and contracts inside it’s frame, enough force can be generated to cause the tempered glass panel to explode.  The U.S. government has also received more than 850 shattering sunroof complaints since 1995.
(I guess I’ll stick to my convertible Lamborghini!)
(Exploding sunroofs: inconvenient when you are driving in rush hour.  Handy when you drive into a lake!)
(Note to self: Never buy a plane with one of those!)

If it is your lifelong quest to stay on top of every fashion trend, you just might want to sit this one out.  Or you might love it.  Either way, word has it that ‘natural’ eyebrows are coming into vogue.  Think big.  And messy.  Think ‘look like they’ve never seen a pair of tweezers’.  Sherrille Riley, founder of Nails & Brows, recently coined the term “virgin brow” to describe it.  She says that it isn’t really about going completely natural with your brows, but it is about growing them out and then cleaning out the small hairs just beneath the browline, whatever that means.  Start by growing your brows out, then filling in any gaps with brow pencil.  Next, brush the brows up with a clear brow gel to set the look.   The buzzword they are going with is “authentic”.  Run with it, ladies!
(I believe ‘authentic’ was Grandma called Grandad’s brows, just before they started blocking his glasses!)
(And of course next year: the unibrow!)
(What? Women have to trim their eyebrows too?)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 75% of adults have blocked a Facebook ‘friend’ because of persistent game requests.
• 60% of women (and only 54% of men) believe that hard work will help them get ahead at work.
• 29% of us lie to our boss.
• 28% of young adults (18-26) with a job, also have a side-job.
• 75% of adults say they have taken a vitamin in the last six months.
• 29% of guys would decline a first date if they find out their potential date is a vegetarian.

• Get a stuffed dog and sew it’s mouth to your pant leg … you’re a mailman!
• Get a bunch of Barbie dolls and a black sweatsuit. Attach the dolls randomly all over the sweatsuit … you’re a babe magnet!
• Wear a black sweatsuit and randomly attach single socks all over it. You’re the sock thief from the dryer!
• Get a bunch of small, single-serving size cereal boxes. Glue them all over some old clothes and bring along a big, rubber knife. You’re a ‘cereal killer’!
• Paint your car tires with black paint, lay old clothes on driveway and run over them. Put them on and go as … roadkill.
• Tie a sneaker to the top of your head, wear pink and paint your face pink … wow, you’re a piece of chewing gum!
• Dress as a dog and carry a bottle of your favorite liquor … you’re a booze hound!
• Pin underwear to your torso and go as … a ‘chest of drawers’.
• Wear coveralls with all the pockets overflowing with stuffed cats … you’re a cat burglar!
• Plaster yourself with name tags, a different name on each … someone with an identity crisis!
• Dress up as you normally do. If someone asks what you are, tell them you’re a werewolf … but tonight there’s no Full Moon.
– essortment.com


1945 [72] Jaclyn Smith, Houston TX, TV actress (“Charlie’s Angels” 1976-1981, K-Mart fashion icon since 1985

1946 [71] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune” since 1981)

1947 [70] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, US presidential candidate/Secretary of State 2009-13/US Senator (2001-08)/First Lady (1992-2000)/wed to Bill Clinton since 1975

1954 [63] James Pickens Jr, Cleveland OH, TV actor (‘Dr Richard Webber’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1961 [56] Dylan McDermott, Waterbury CT, TV actor (“The Practice” 1997-2004, “American Horror Story”) COMING UP…“LA>Vegas”, 2018

1962 [55] Cary Elwes, London England, movie actor (“The Princess Bride”, “Saw”, “Twister”)

1967 [50] Keith Urban, Whangarei, New Zealand, country singer (“Wasted Time”, “Raise ‘Em Up”)/wed to actress Nicole Kidman since 2006

1973 [44] Seth McFarlane, Kent CT, TV show runner-writer-actor (“Family Guy” since 1999, “American Dad!” since 2005, “The Cleveland Show” 2009-13)

1975 [42] Paula Faris, Jackson MI, TV personality (“The View” since 2015, “Good Morning America Weekend” 2014-15)

1977 [40] Jon Heder, Fort Collins CO, movie actor (“Napolean Dynamite”, “Blades of Glory”) COMING UP… “Killing Winston Jones”, 2018

• “Mincemeat Day”.  Odds are you either love it or you can’t stand the stuff. Mincemeat is a mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits, spices, and sometimes beef suet. Originally, mincemeat always contained meat; many modern recipes use vegetable shortening in its place.

• “Horseless Carriage Day”, in the early days of automobiles, it was common that carriages were pulled by animals, typically horses, but the automobiles were not.  In recent years, the phrase has been compared to terms like ‘cordless phone’ and ‘wireless phone’. These are cases in which a new technology is described by what it does not have, compared to older technology.

• “Pumpkin Day”, celebrating the orange member of the squash family best known for being carved into jack-o-lanterns or made into pie filling. Did you know that pumpkins are 90% water? At one time, they were recommended for removing freckles and curing snake bites.  (Not saying it worked, just that it was recommended…)

• “Mule Day”, a day designated to celebrate these unique hybrid animals.  Mules are the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse and are more common than hinnies, the offspring of a female donkey and a male horse.  Because donkeys and horses are actually different species with a different number of chromosomes, their offspring are nearly always sterile. (And stubborn!)

• “Worldwide Howl At the Moon Night”, an annual pre-Halloween tradition.  A wolf howl can carry up to 10 miles in areas where there are no trees. Owoooooo!
NET: http://tinyurl.com/q84u4q7

[Fri] American Beer Day
[Fri] Frankenstein Day
[Sat] National Chocolate Day
[Sat] Forgiveness Day

1984 [33] “The Terminator” directed by James Cameron and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton is released in the U.S.

2010 [07] Keith Richards releases his autobiography “Life”, which details his drug use and his thorny relationship with Mick Jagger, among other things

2011 [06] A coroner’s inquest on the death of Amy Winehouse reaches a verdict of ‘misadventure’, a nice way of saying her blood alcohol content was more than 5 times the legal drinking & driving limit

2015 [02] Justin Bieber cleans up at the MTV European Music Awards, winning ‘Best Male’, ‘Best North American Act’, ‘Best Collaboration’, ‘Biggest Fans’, and ‘Best Look’

1975 [42] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as aid for people choking on food (named for its co-developer, Dr Henry Heimlich, who was able to use his own maneuver in 2016 at age 96 to save 87-year-old Patty Ris when she began choking on a hamburger at his senior living center)

1990 [27] 1st NHL hockey player to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)


✓ If you shuffle a deck of cards, chances are that the new order of playing cards has never existed before.
✓ It took thousands of years after domesticating the horse to invent the stirrup.
✓ All the humans on the planet could fit into 1 cubic mile.
✓ Alcohol is considered a performance-enhancing drug in competitive shooting competitions.
✓ There are more fake flamingos in the world than real flamingos.
✓ Turtles can breathe out of their butts

• People who forget to buy candy and just offer you a bite of their sandwich.
• People who want receipts.
• When your Mariachi costume is so convincing you get deported to Mexico.
• Encountering a jack-o-lantern that looks suspiciously like your mailman’s head.
• Black jelly beans that turn out to be blood-swollen ticks.
• People who sit outside on their porch at the end of a long driveway and give you the stink-eye.
• When you find something in your goodie bag called ‘Malted Meat Balls’.
• As soon as you get home your dad wrestling you to the ground for the Kit Kats.
• When they say “Trick-or-treat”, and the homeowner says, “OK….trick!”
– First published in “BS” 1998.

If at first you don’t succeed, try left field.

☎ Couple’s Halloween costumes: good thing or bad thing?  And what is the best one you’ve ever seen?

Question: You’ve probably already used ONE of these today and you’ll probably use at least 7 more by this time next week.  What is it?
Answer:  A password

Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude.

Leave a comment