Monday, October 3, 2016 – Edition: #5820

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Today Leonardo DiCaprio is set to meet with Barack Obama to discuss the issue of climate change at the inaugural South-by-South Lawn event at the White House in Washington DC. The event promises to be full of “ideas, art and action”, and will be hosted by the President and First Lady Michelle Obama. There will also be a screening of DiCaprio’s National Geographic ecological documentary “Before the Flood”, which is making its US debut at the festival
– Vulture.com
★ Michael Caine’s heist classic “The Italian Job” is set for another reboot … this time for TV. The 1969 flick was first revamped for a 2003 action film starring Mark Wahlberg and Charlize Theron, and now NBC-TV is interested in turning the project into a fast-paced small-screen series. It would revolve around a family of criminals forced out of retirement as part of a deal to get their patriarch out of jail. None of the stars from either the original film nor the 2003 reboot are expected to appear in the TV remake.
– WENN.com
• And “Kings of Summer” star Nathan Keyes has been cast as Justin Timberlake in a new Britney Spears TV biopic. The upcoming Lifetime project, titled “Britney Jean”, features Australian actress Natasha Bassett in the lead role. The biopic is said to focus on the “tumultuous true story” of the pop star’s rise to fame, fall, and her subsequent triumphant return. Production on “Britney Jean” has already begun and the movie is slated for a premiere on Lifetime channel sometime in 2017.
– “Hollywood Reporter”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Amos Lee (“Spirit”).
• “Conviction” (ABC/CTV) – Series debut centering on a brilliant young attorney (Hayley Atwell), who’s blackmailed to head up NYC’s new ‘Conviction Integrity Unit’.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – The 11 remaining celebrities perform dances inspired by a “Cirque du Soleil” show.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Stevie Nicks (“24 Karat Gold: Songs From the Vault”).
• “Harry” (syndicated) – Jason Derulo (“Platinum Hits”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Chance the Rapper (“Coloring Book”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Bob Mould (“Patch the Sky”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Skylar Grey (“Natural Causes”).
• “Scorpion” (CBS) – Elyes Gabel, Katharine McPhee, and Eddie Kaye Thomas return in the Season 3 premiere.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Dolly Parton (“Pure & Simple”).
• “Timeless” (NBC/Global) – Series debut about an unlikely trio traveling through time to protect history as we know it. Stars Chad Rook, Abigail Spencer, Matt Lanter.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Sum 41 (“13 Voices”, out October 14th).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Sheryl Crow (“Feels Like Home”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Hopefuls perform for the coaches as the blind auditions continue.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Michel’le (“Hung Jury”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She claims Bruno Mars “smokes like an old woman” … whatever that means.
• Ed Sheeran – He’s bought a pig-shaped statue of himself for $8,000 (£6,200). The porky monument, ‘ Ed Sheer-ham’, sporting Ed’s ginger locks, tattoos, and trademark checked shirt, was being displayed as part of an art project in Ed’s hometown of Ipswich UK over the Summer.
• Florida Georgia Line – Brian Kelley almost played baseball professionally after shining as a left-handed pitcher in college. Quote: “I learned a lot about life, about sports, about teamwork, about being a leader, and it kinda set me up for what we do.”
• The Head & The Heart – A new tour in support of their new album “Signs of Light” beings tonight in St Louis MO and winds up in Seattle WA on November 6th.
• Motörhead – A statue of heavy rock icon Lemmy has been erected at his favorite Los Angeles hangout, the Rainbow Bar & Grill. Lemmy died last December after a short battle with cancer. Fans launched a crowdfunded effort to raise $23,000 for the installation.

HE’S BACK!
‘Teddy Ruxpin’ is set to make a comeback. The original talking bear, released in 1985, was one of the first animatronic toys and one of the best-selling toys of all-time … even though it was kind of creepy. The original version had a moving mouth and eyes, and told stories to kids via a cassette player in its back. It was amazing technology to kids who hadn’t grown up with smartphones, and who are now 28-to-40 years-old. The new-and-improved bear features LCD eyes that can display 40 animated expressions and up to a 40-story library on hard-drive. The new ‘Teddy Ruxpin’ will sell for $99 when it’s released in July 2017. (Admit it, you’ll only consider this because it will get you out of reading the same bedtime story for the 800th time.)
– CNN.com

TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES:
Enjoy your ‘TH’ sounds for now, because they’ll be gone by 2066. That’s according to a new report from British linguistic experts at the University of York. What’s pompously known as the ‘Queen’s English’ as spoken in the UK is said to be under attack by immigrants, computers, American television, and youths (or should we say ‘yoofs’?). Those factors are already changing the pronunciation of English in London, and those changes are expected to spread. The ‘TH’ sound is already being replaced with ‘F’, ‘D’, and ‘V’ sounds, so “thick” becomes “fick” and “mother” becomes “muvver”. Other changes include words like “cute” and “beauty” becoming “coot” and “booty”, with the ‘W’ and ‘R’ sounds becoming indistinguishable. (A sentence from tomorrow: “I totes fink dat car is a booty.”)
– “The Sun”

TOP TV ALL-TIME:
A new ranking of the game-changing small-screen classics, based on a poll of actors, writers, producers, critics, and show-runners …
10. “The Daily Show”
9. “All In the Family”
8. “Saturday Night Live”
7. “The Twilight Zone”
6. “The Simpsons”
5. “Seinfeld”
4. “Mad Men”
3. “Breaking Bad”
2. “The Wire”
1. “The Sopranos”
– “Rolling Stone”

HAVE A LIGHT DAY:
The good news is you’re probably lighter now than you were at any other point so far this year. The bad news is you’re about to pack on the pounds again, and it’ll take months to lose them. So report researchers after looking at the weight patterns of roughly 3,000 people in Germany. Japan, and the USA over a 1-year period. They’ve found that, while the patterns tend to be regional and based on national holidays (such as Golden Week in Japan or Thanksgiving in the US), the overall pattern is that people eat more and gain more around the end of the year in all 3 countries. Weight starts going up slowly in October and peaks right after New Years. The average weight gain is only around 1 or 2 pounds, but it takes an average of 5 months to lose them afterward. (I lost 25 pounds in 5 minutes … at a casino in London.)
– “Live Science”

BS AMAZING FACT:
The mammal that kills the most members of its own species is not the human, the bear, or the wolf, but the meerkat.
– “The Atlantic”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.03.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1962 [54] Tommy Lee (Bass), Athens, Greece, rock drummer (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”)/ex-Mr Pam Anderson (1995-98)/ex-Mr Heather Locklear (1986-93)

1964 [52] Clive Owen, Coventry UK, TV actor (“The Knick” since 2014)/movie actor (“Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, “Closer”)

1969 [47] Gwen Stefani, Anaheim CA, TV personality (“The Voice” since 2014)/pop singer (“Hollaback Girl”, No Doubt-“It’s My Life”)/fashion designer-marketer (LAMB)

1971 [45] Kevin Richardson, Lexington KY, boy-turned-man band pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Incomplete”, “I Want It That Way”)

1973 [43] Neve Campbell, Guelph ON, movie actress (“Scream” movies, “Wild Things”)

1979 [37] Josh Klinghoffer, LA CA, rock guitarist (Red Hot Chili Peppers-“The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie”, “Dani California”)

1980 [36] Danny O’Donoghue, Dublin, Ireland, indie rock singer-songwriter (The Script-“Superheroes”, “Hall of Fame”)/TV personality (“The Voice UK” 2012-13)

1988 [28] A$AP Rocky (Rakim Mayers), Harlem NY, rapper (f/Drake, 2 Chainz & Kendrick Lamar-“F—in’ Problems”, f/Skrillex & Birdy Nam Nam-“Wild For the Night”)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “German Unification Day”, celebrating the 1990 reuniting of East & West Germany to again become a single country after 45 years. It was a benchmark of the end of the ‘Cold War’.

• “Look At the Leaves Day”, a day to admire the color changes of Autumn. (Now imagine the leaves a foot-and-half deep all over your backyard and a rake in your blistered hand …)

• “World Animal Day”, begun in Florence, Italy in 1931 to celebrate animal life in all forms. It derives from “St Francis of Assisi” feast day, celebrating the patron saint of animals. Today is also “World Pet Day”, and the annual “Blessing Of the Animals” in many places.

• “Rosh Hashanah”, the Jewish holiday commonly referred to as ‘Jewish New Year’. It’s the first of the so-called ‘High Holidays’.

• “Techies Day”, an annual salute to the people who know their way around the technology that is inseparable from our daily lives. Also a day when students are encouraged to consider a career in technology.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2011 [05] Based on scientific research, Queen’s “We Are the Champions” is announced as the ‘Catchiest Song Ever Written’

2013 [03] The family of Michael Jackson loses a multi-million-dollar negligence case against concert promoter AEG Live over the 2009 death of the 50-year-old King of Pop

2014 [02] A mint-condition copy of The Beatles’ “Please Please Me” album, signed by all 4 band members, sells for $36,655 at auction

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1946 [70] 1st TV ‘soap opera’ (“The Faraway Hill”-DuMont Network)

1964 [52] The 1st ‘Buffalo Wings’ are made at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo NY

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2007 [09] Rolling Stones’ “A Bigger Bang” tour sets a new world record after the 2-year jaunt rakes in nearly $560 million

2014 [02] General Motors issues its 71st automobile recall … of the year

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] “BET Hip Hop Awards 2016” (BET)
[Tues] “The Flash” season premiere (CW)
[Tues] Truckers Day
[Wed] “Arrow” season premiere (CW)
[Wed] Child Health Day
[Wed] International Day of No Prostitution
[Wed] World Day of Architecture
[Wed] World Day of Bullying Prevention

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Carry a Tune Week / Chimney Safety Week / Customer Service Week / Drive Safely to Work Week / Financial Planning Week / Great Books Week / Health Care Food Service Week / Kids’ Goal Setting Week / Mental Illness Awareness Week / Midwifery Week / Mystery Series Week / No Salt Week / Nuclear Medicine & Molecular Imaging Week / Post Card Week / Spinning & Weaving Week / Universal Children’s Week / Walk Your Dog Week / Work From Home Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
TRUTH OR BS?
Some of these statement are true, some total BS. Which are which?
• There is seaweed in toothpaste. [TRUE. Carrageenan, or Irish Moss, is a common ingredient in toothpaste … and ice cream.]
• 50% of all forms of life that have existed on Earth are now extinct. [BS. It’s actually closer to 95%.]
• Canada’s coastline is 6 times longer than Australia’s. [TRUE]
• Only first-generation offspring of Holstein cows have the same pattern of spots. [BS. No two are the same.]
• Shrimps’ hearts are actually in their heads. [TRUE]
• The sound of a snore can be almost as loud as a pneumatic drill. [TRUE. Snores reach up to 69 decibels; jackhammers 70-90 decibels.]
• After the USA, Canada has the world’s greatest number of tornadoes. [BS. Australia has a few hundred a year, a distant 2nd to the US which experiences about 1,000 annually.]
• It takes the human eye an hour to adapt completely to seeing in the dark. [TRUE]
– First published in “BS” 1997.

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit women don’t blink during foreplay? (They don’t have enough time.)
• Whyzit take 1 million sperm to fertilize a single egg? (They won’t stop for directions.)
• Whyzit God put men on Earth? (Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.)
• Whyzit women don’t have men’s brains? (Because they don’t have penises to put them in.)
• Whyzit men were given larger brains than dogs? (So they won’t hump legs at cocktail parties.)
– First published in “BS” 2001.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which was the first country to use paper money?
a. Greece
b. China [CORRECT]
c. Egypt
– “Trivia World”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’d go on welfare but I’m not used to living that well.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Who’s the nicest celebrity you’ve ever met?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Experts say doing THIS for several hours together over a weekend can actually strengthen a couple’s relationship.
Answer: Binge-watching TV.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Only someone who understands something completely can explain it so that no one else can understand it.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Melissa Quilling @ Eagle 93.1 [KGCX] Sidney MT; Tonya Karpinski @ GX94 [CJGX] Yorkton SK; Vimalanathan Gnanasekaran @ TRAXXfm Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; James Abey @ 102.9 FM [KMMO] Marshall MO; Dave Lyons @ 107.1 Non-Stop 90s, Dublin, Ireland; Richard Sergeant @ Radio 2NUR Callaghan NSW, Australia; and James Onen @ 88.2 Sanyu FM Kampala, Uganda.