October 24 2019

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Thursday, October 24, 2019 – Edition: #6558

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

★ Actress Alexis Bledel tops this year’s ‘most dangerous celebrities to search on the internet’ and the explanation why is very interesting. Bledel and Sophie Turner are well known for their roles on Hulu’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” and HBO’s “Game of Thrones.” So, according to McAfee, their names are strongly associated with searches including the term “torrent.” Fans of each show are choosing to put their information at risk by searching for ways to watch the hit shows for free. In many cases, by trying to avoid paying a subscription fee, these viewers are at a much higher risk of infecting their devices with viruses associated with torrent or pirated downloads.
★ Cardi B has joined the cast of  Fast & Furious 9” in an undisclosed role. Vin Diesel made the announcement in a post on his Instagram account with a video that showed him and Cardi B on the U.K. set of the movie. It’s the rapper’s first movie part since her role as the stripper ‘Diamond’ in “Hustlers.”. The new film will not include Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham, who starred in the spinoff “Hobbs and Shaw”, the most recent movie in the “Fast & Furious” franchise, which has now grossed $5.8 billion since its launch in 2001.
★ Monica Lewinsky has teamed with “Catfish” co-host and producer Max Joseph to produce “15 Minutes of Shame,” a documentary for HBO Max about the culture of public shaming. It is described as a look at people from around the world who have been caught up in a situation that involved public criticism and humiliation. Lewinsky was in the eye of such a storm starting in 1998 when the bombshell story broke that the former White House intern had a sexual relationship with President Bill Clinton.
★ Henry Thomas Jr., who famously played ‘Elliott’ in 1992’s “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial,” found himself in trouble with government officials again when he was arrested in Oregon. He was booked for a misdemeanor DUII, which means officers felt he was driving under the influence of intoxicants other than alcohol. According to jail records, Thomas was released Tuesday morning on his own recognizance.
(I trust that he was allowed to “phone home”??)
★ Bela Lugosi’s “Dracula” cape is going on display at The Academy Museum of Motion Pictures. The actor starred in Tod Browning’s 1931 horror classic and kept the cape until his death in 1956. It has now been donated by Bela’s son, Bela G. Lugosi and will be seen at the new museum of cinema in Los Angeles, which is scheduled to open in 2020.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Eddie Murphy
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Keegan-Michael Key, Chance the Rapper, Brockhampton
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Steve Carell, Rob Corddry, Toby Keith
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Willem Dafoe, Kathryn Hahn, A$AP Ferg, Terence Higgins
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Edward Norton, Leslie Odom Jr.
• “Conan” (TBS): Megan Mullally
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Julie Andrews, Whoopi Goldberg
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael Douglas
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Willem Dafoe, Cynthia Erivo, Lindsey Stirling
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Max Greenfield, Ariel Winter, guest DJ Loni Love, guest host Stephen “tWitch” Boss
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Gabriel Iglesias, D’Arcy Carden
• “Will & Grace” (NBC): Season 3 premiere
• “Saudi Women’s Driving School” (HBO): Allowed to drive legally for the first time, Saudi women embrace a new way of life and the freedom that comes from being behind the wheel.

• Harry Styles — In an interview, one of his clothing designers dished about the lengths to which Styles will go to keep his stage outfits in pristine condition. He said: “It’s basically like a giant refrigerator — a frozen vault. The clothes all have 24-hour surveillance, which you can look at via an iPad…and they have all been cryogenically frozen in time to preserve them.
• Dua Lipa – has tweeted a 10-second snippet of her upcoming single ‘Don’t Start Now’. In the caption, she wrote: “Miss me?” The video shows off a blonde Lipa clad in a sexy yellow bodysuit, black tights and black stilettos as she lays across a circular black chair in different positions.
• Harry Connick Jr. — will be honored with the 2,678th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. Not only has he sold 28 million albums, he has appeared in 19 films, starred on TV, and he has won 3 Grammys and two Emmys.
• Eddie Van Halen – His son Wolfgang tweeted that the pair were at the Tool show at LA’s Staples Center when “A guy asked my dad if he could take a picture of him with the stage behind him, having no idea who he just asked…and that was my favorite moment from the Tool show last night.” He included his own pic of the interaction.
• Alanis Morissette – says she is having ”compulsive, obsessive thoughts” that sometimes include images of something happening to her loved ones, as a result of her postpartum depression following the birth of her son Winter in August. She experienced the same condition following the birth of her first two children.
• The Who – Their musical “Tommy” is returning to Broadway in 2021. It will be directed by Des McAnuff – who was in charge of the original production between 1993 and 1995. Tommy tells the story of a ”deaf, dumb and blind boy”, who ”becomes lost in the universe”, and McAnuff says the tale couldn’t be more fitting today. He said: ”Tommy is the antihero ground zero.”
• Steely Dan — A collection of musical equipment belonging to late guitarist Walter Becker was auctioned off this past weekend. It raised $3.3 million, more than double the anticipated total of $1.4 million. He had amassed approximately 600 guitars and 400 amplifiers.
• Maren Morris — is pregnant! She Instagrammed that she and her husband, singer-songwriter Ryan Hurd, are expecting their first child, a baby boy, in 2020. She captioned a photo: “The irony is just too rich that after a year of living in the “GIRL” headspace, the universe would give us a baby boy to even things out.”
• Lauren Alaina – Her emotional new song ‘The Other Side’ honors the memory of her late stepfather, Sam Ramker, who she calls her “guardian angel.” Ramker died a year ago, following a battle with cancer. Alaina teamed with Jon Nite and Zach Kale to write the song, which depicts him watching over her as she goes on with her life.

If you are sick and tired of your iPhone running out of juice halfway through your workday, Apple may have just released the solution. The YouTube channel “PhoneBuff” says that setting your phone up with Apple’s new ‘Dark Mode’ can help improve your iPhone’s battery life by up to 30 percent. Dark Mode is a new feature of Apple’s latest software update – iOS 13. It uses a darker color palette than the color scheme iPhone users are used to. For example, if you visit Instagram while in Dark Mode, the background becomes black, allowing text and images to really pop. Apple says that the new color scheme provides “a great viewing experience especially in low-light environments”, but Phonebuff’s experiments showed the added benefit of extending the length of time until you have to plug back in by as much as one-third. They point out that in their testing, they only used apps that have Dark Mode enabled on them, so you probably won’t see such an extreme result when using a wide range of apps and websites.
(My battery life improved by 30% when I stopped taking it with me to the bathroom!)
(I don’t think this is what my ‘Android’ friends mean when they tell me to come over to the dark side!)
(Ever notice that we’re always encouraging others to spend less time with their faces buried in their phones, but when you hear of a way that could allow you to spend more of YOUR time on the phone, you’re all ears?)

An expert says that most pizzas will be made using crushed-up insects within 20 years. And that’s not all. Tom Cheesewright, an applied futurist (which is a real thing – he helps paying clients predict the future), says not only will your ’za contain bug-based dough, it could also feature lab-grown meats and cheese and be charred by lasers. Oh, and it won’t be cooked. It’ll be printed out by a robot chef. Cheesewright says that as restaurants begin to choose more sustainable ingredients, “The food we eat in 20 years may well look very similar to how it does today, but its journey to your plate will have been totally transformed.” He says that even replacing 25% of the grain currently used for bread with a protein-packed alternative such as crickets could transform our reliance on resources such as water, energy and land.
(But if they serve you a pizza with an insect on it now, they get sued!)
(At midnight on a Saturday night, who’s going to be able to tell the difference?)
(Pineapple, insects….same difference!)

➠ Can’t be too short or too tall:  Because they need to help passengers with their bags and reach medical kits, British Airways, for instance, requires them to be between 5’2” and 6’1”
➠ Can’t have visible tattoos:  While policies vary from company to company, most airlines don’t allow visible tattoos—and that includes ones that are covered with makeup or bandages. (Got ink? Done!)
➠ Can’t get too creative:  Most airlines require females to avoid going too extreme — or not extreme enough – in the makeup department. Men are often given similar guidelines when it comes to facial hair (AND makeup!)
➠ Can’t use all the medical equipment aboard:  They can’t necessarily use everything in the medical kit because they aren’t medically trained. Instead, they need to wait for directions from a doctor onboard.
➠ Can’t always accept tips:  Company policies vary, but some are only allowed to take cash if the passenger insists, while others might only be able to accept gift cards. (Am I a horrible person because I’ve never even THOUGHT of tipping a flight attendant?)
➠ Need to be a strong swimmer:  On the off-chance of an emergency water landing, passengers will be happy to know that flight attendants need to be able to pass a swimming test. (So, they can save themselves…but what about me?)

BASE, when used in reference to those BASE-jumping adrenalin-junkies who enjoy falling from high places, stands for Building, Antenna, Span and Earth – the four common objects from which BASE jumpers launch their descent.


• “Bologna Day”, a good day to fry up a slice to add to your peanut butter sandwich. Yummers!

• “Food Day”, a day to resolve to make changes in our diets and take action to solve food-related problems in our communities.

• “United Nations Day”, honoring the 74th anniversary of the day in 1945 that the majority of the world’s countries adopted the charter that formed the UN.

• “National Crazy Day”, a day to bring out the child who lives in all of us, and do something outlandish to make others roll with laughter. (I wore one brown and one blue sock.  Crazy, I know!)

• “Good and Plenty Day”, this is one of those candies that you either like or don’t.  The licorice treat is the oldest brand of candy in the U.S.A.  Good and Plenty was first made in 1893 by the Quaker City Confectionery Company of Philadelphia.

[Fri] Frankenstein Friday
[Fri] International Artist Day
[Sat] Horseless Carriage Day
[Sat] Make a Difference Day

1947 [72] Kevin Kline, St Louis MO, movie actor (“A Fish Called Wanda”)/TV voice actor (“Bob’s Burgers” since 2011) COMING UP…”The Diary”, 2019

1973 [46] Korie Robertson, Louisiana, reality star (“Duck Dynasty” 2012-2017)

1980 [39] Monica (Arnold), College Park GA, pop singer (‘So Gone’, w/Brandy-‘The Boy Is Mine’)

1980 [39] Casey Wilson, Alexandria VA, TV actress (“Happy Endings” 2011-13″)/movie actress “Gone Girl”

1985 [34] Wayne Rooney, Liverpool UK, soccer star (Everton, Manchester United, England national team, and now with D.C. United) who seemingly always chokes in Euro- and World Cups

1986 [33] Drake (Aubrey Drake Graham), Toronto ON, pop singer-songwriter (‘Hotline Bling’, ‘In My Feelings’)/former actor (“Degrassi: The Next Generation” 2001-09)

1989 [30] Shenae Grimes, Toronto ON, TV actress (“90210″ 2008-13, “Degrassi: The Next Generation” 2004-08)/movie actress (“Empire State”)

2006 [13] “Forbes” reveals that Kurt Cobain has overtaken Elvis Presley as ‘Highest-Earning Dead Celebrity’ in the past year, $50 million vs $42 million

1980 [39] The Guinness Book of World Records presents Paul McCartney with a special ‘rhodium’ album for being the best-selling songwriter in the history of recorded music, having written 43 platinum songs and sold over 100 million records.

1992 [27] ‘End Of The Road’ by Boyz II Men ties Elvis Presley’s ‘Don’t Be Cruel’/’Hound Dog’ as the longest-running #1 single with its 11th week at the top. It spends two more weeks at #1, but loses the record three months later when Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ stays for 14 weeks

2011 [08] The Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis) become visible over much of North America due to a ‘coronal mass ejection’ (ooh, that sounds serious!)

1929 [90] “Black Thursday”, when panicked sellers traded nearly 13 million shares on the New York Stock Exchange (more than three times the normal volume at the time), and investors suffered $5 billion in losses, kicking off the Great Depression

2008 [11] ‘Bloody Friday’ as many of the world’s stock exchanges crash, experiencing the worst declines in their histories, with drops of 10% or more on most indices (Not a great day of the year to be an investor…!)

2004 [15] Arsenal Football Club loses to Manchester United, ending a row of unbeaten matches at 49, the record in England’s Premier League


✓ One in 10 people in the world live on an island.
✓ The world average annual egg consumption per capita is 230.
✓ In the Western World, people move on average every 7 years.
✓ Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means “the capital” in the Korean language.
✓ South Africa is the only country with three official capitals: Pretoria, Cape Town, and Bloemfontein.
✓ Nepal is the only country without a rectangular flag; it looks like two pennants, one on top of the other.

• There would be a few seeds of truth.
• They’d spill their guts.
• They would tell you you’re out of your gourd.
• They’d probably tell us that they’re not too happy about the whole carving thing.
• They’d say to spice things up a little.
• They’d tell you that they’re going to get smashed next Thursday.
• They’d say nothing…unless we gave them pumpkin to talk about.
• They’d express their deep-seeded hate for pumpkin pie.
• They’d say, “Do I REALLY look like that guy in the White House?”

Best of BS . . .

• Nobody ever got rich being honest.
• What I need to do is have a TV commercial where I’m literally yelling every word.
• Please, please, please don’t ask me for the Carfax.
• Actually, no credit IS a problem…
• What was I thinking when I bought this suit?
• 0% interest is exactly what I have in the welfare of my customers.
• Please don’t kick the tires.  Please don’t kick the tires. Please don’t kick the tires…
• I can’t believe I’m a used car salesman.
• I’m NOT a used car salesman. I’m a Cardealologist.
• At least I’m not a lawyer.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

What question did your kid stump you with?

I keep looking for something even after I’ve found it — just to spite people who say its always in the last place you look.

Question:  The average woman burns 14,844 calories a year doing THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Walking while shopping.

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.


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