Friday, October 8, 2021 — Edition: #7082

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “BS” service for Monday October 11 to observe Canadian Thanksgiving. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, Oct. 12.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Netflix is coming to the aid of the real-life person whose phone number is featured on the hugely popular series “Squid Game”. It will edit out all scenes that include the number, after the person behind it received a deluge of prank calls and text messages. The number’s owner said they received “calls and texts endlessly, 24/7”, making it hard to carry on with daily life. Quote: “There are more than 4,000 numbers that I’ve had to delete from my phone and it’s to the point where due to people reaching out without a sense of day and night…my phone’s battery is drained and turns off.”
-Yahoo
★ Tom Cruise is learning to fly a Second World War military plane for stunt scenes in “Mission: Impossible 8.”  Cruise, who is renowned for performing his own stunts in his action blockbusters, was spotted flying a 1943 Boeing Stearman at Duxford Airfield in Cambridgeshire, England. He’s already begun his work as agent ‘Ethan Hunt’ for Mission: Impossible 8, which isn’t slated for release until 2023, even though filming only recently wrapped on the upcoming “Mission: Impossible 7”.
-Canoe
★ Dave Chappelle is drawing a growing wave of criticism for his derogatory comments about the LGBTQ+ community in his newest Netflix stand-up special. “The Closer” premiered on the streamer on Tuesday and is the final entry in a series of stand-up routines by Chappelle on Netflix. In it, he makes explicit jokes about trans women and offers defenses for previous derogatory comments made by figures such as “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling and rapper DaBaby. In a statement, GLAAD called out his pattern of derogatory jokes, saying: “Chappelle’s brand has become synonymous with ridiculing trans people and other marginalized communities.”
-Yahoo
★ “Trainspotting” star Robert Carlyle has confirmed that a spin-off series centered on his character, ‘Begbie’, is in the works. The series will be based on Irvine Welsh’s follow-up novel “The Blade Artist”. Carlyle says that, while things are in the very early stages, development on the project is looking promising. He first portrayed the terrifyingly aggressive psychopath Francis “Franco” Begbie in director Danny Boyle’s critically acclaimed adaptation of Trainspotting in 1996.
-MovieWeb

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ana de Armas, Big Red Machine
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Brian Cox, Sarah Snook, Kieran Culkin, Alan Ruck
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ike Barinholtz, Jenny Slate, Andē (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Lil Rel Howery, Billie Piper (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): will.i.am
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jennifer Tilly, Tawny Newsome
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Julianna Margulies, Ben & Collin Johns
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Adam Lambert, guest host tWitch
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): LL Cool J, Melissa Etheridge
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Gloria Estefan, Lili Estefan, Emily Estefan, Lisa Ling
• “Shark Tank” (ABC): Season 13 premiere
• “20/20” (ABC): Premiere. A look at the greed and murder behind the rise of male exotic dance troupe Chippendales and its creator, Steve Banerjee.
• “MLB Post Season” (Check local listings): White Sox @ Astros; Braves @ Brewers; Red Sox @ Rays; Dodgers @ Giants

SATURDAY-
• “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”(CW): Season 10 premiere
• “Voyagers” (HBO): Premiere. With the future of the human race at stake, a group of young men and women embark on an expedition to colonize a distant planet.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Kim Kardashian West, with musical guest Halsey
• “MLB Post Season” (Check local listings): Braves @ Brewers; Dodgers @ Giants

SUNDAY-
• “The Equalizer” (CBS): Season 2 premiere
• “NCIS: Los Angeles” (CBS): Season 13 premiere
• “Renovation, Inc: Home Sweet Home” (HGTV): Series premiere. Builder Bryan Baeumler convinces his wife to uproot their growing family and head to the country, where he plans to build their dream home.
• “MLB Post Season” (Check local listings): Rays @ Red Sox, Astros @ White Sox

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Jonas Brothers – are selling popcorn. The “secret recipe” for Rob’s Backstage Popcorn was developed nearly 30 years ago by Rob Garbowsky, the father former Jonas bass player and current management team member Greg Garbowsky. The brothers say Rob’s homemade popcorn became a staple for snacking during tours.
• Ed Sheeran – has revealed that he has an upcoming Christmas song with Elton John. In an interview, he said John called him on Christmas Day 2020, and said: “Step Into Christmas is #6 on the charts, and I’m 74, and I’m still having chart hits, this is great! I want to do another Christmas song, will you do it with me?”
• Tina Turner – has sold the rights to all her music, along with the rights to her image, name and likeness to publishing company BMG for a reported $50 million. In a statement, the 81-year-old said: “I am confident that with BMG…my work is in professional and reliable hands.”
• Deep Purple – will release their first covers album “Turning to Crime” on November 26. The first single, ‘7 And 7 Is’, originally recorded by Arthur Lee’s band Love, dropped Wednesday. The upcoming album will also include covers of tunes by Fleetwood Mac, Cream, Bob Seger and Bob Dylan. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/pujpps2a
• Kiss — Paul Stanley says that the final concert of the band’s “End Of The Road” tour will likely happen within the next year and a half. Kiss launched its farewell trek in January 2019, but was forced to put it on hold last year due to the pandemic. “End Of The Road” was originally scheduled to conclude on July 17, 2021 in New York City but has since been extended to at least the end of 2022.
• Chris Stapleton — On Tuesday, he performed ‘You Should Probably Leave’ on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” – with Fallon as part of his backing band. Why? When one of Stapleton’s band members couldn’t make the performance, the show’s host stepped in to play rhythm guitar. LINK: https://youtu.be/0kC4LRAE2j4
• CMAs — The Country Music Association has announced that The 55th Annual CMA Awards will return to Bridgestone Arena in Nashville on Nov. 10. Due to the pandemic, last year’s awards were held at Nashville’s Music City Center with only nominees and essential personnel in attendance. This year, there will be a limited number of tickets available for purchase. Vaccination will be required.
• Walker Hayes — A few months ago, he was a country singer who’d had a couple of hits. But his ode to date nights at Applebee’s ‘Fancy Like’ turned him into a TikTok celebrity, then a bonafide pop star. After He and his teen daughter came up with a dance to go with it, it went viral on TikTok and ended up in an Applebee’s commercial. It has also become a pop hit – And there’s even a remix with Kesha.

SHOOTING THE BULL

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “No Time to Die” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): James Bond has left active service, but his peace is short-lived when an old friend from the CIA turns up asking for help, leading Bond to the trail of a mysterious villain armed with dangerous new technology. (Daniel Craig, Ana de Armas, Rami Malek)
• “Lamb” (R-Rated, Drama/Thriller): A childless couple in rural Iceland make an alarming discovery one day in their sheep barn. They soon face the consequences of defying the will of nature.
• “South of Heaven” (PG-13, Drama/Action): Convicted felon Jimmy gets early parole after serving 12 years for armed robbery. Upon release, he vows to give Annie, his childhood love, now dying from cancer, the best last year of her life – but it’s not that simple. (Jason Sudeikis, Evangeline Lilly)

A FEW THINGS TO CHEW ON:
⇒ Wendy’s beloved Frosty isn’t just for dessert, anymore. It’s for breakfast, too. The fast-food chain is partnering with Kellogg to make “Wendy’s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal,” which transforms the milkshake’s chocolatey taste into…yes…cereal form. It contains chocolate-flavored marshmallow pieces that “intermingle with crispy, cocoa-coated round cereal bites.” Wendy’s says: each spoonful “evokes the irresistible taste of a Wendy’s Frosty.” The limited-edition Frosty cereal will hit grocery store shelves in December for $3.99, and includes a coupon for a free Frosty from Wendy’s. (Finally, I can fulfill my life-long goal of having a ‘Frosty’ with every meal!)
⇒ The holidays may not be completely back to normal this year. But spooky Peeps are back. Last year, Just Born, the company behind the marshmallow bunnies and chicks, paused production on its non-Easter holiday Peeps due to the pandemic. That meant anyone looking for Halloween or Christmas-themed Peeps was out of luck. Same for Valentine’s Day this year. But now, I’m happy to say, Peeps ghosts, dark purple cats, orange pumpkins and Frankenstein-type monsters have returned. There’s a new item for this year, too: decorated skulls that look like they’re designed for those celebrating the Day of the Dead. (They didn’t make Halloween Peeps last year? I KNEW I should’ve checked the date on the ones I found at the dollar store!)
⇒ Will that be red wine…white…or Grey Poupon? Yup, brace yourself for Grey Poupon wine. Kraft Heinz, makers of Grey Poupon, has introduced La Moutarde Vin, a limited-edition “celebration” of the white wine used in its hoity-toity mustard recipe. The full-bodied wine is infused with Grey Poupon mustard seeds and uses Viognier grapes from southern France. Kraft Heinz says the wine features “bright hints of spice and pronounced citrus” and “floral characteristics” making it ideal to pair with charcuterie boards, sandwiches or even Grey Poupon itself. It is now on sale for $30, including a jar of Grey Poupon mustard. (The first wine that pairs with sausage on a bun too, probably!)
-CNN

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ Two Rhode Island men who touched off a needless ocean search-and-rescue effort when they fired maritime distress flares to celebrate a friend’s wedding have agreed to pay $5,000 each to settle the case. The Coast Guard and the town of New Shoreham spent more than $100,000 responding to the flares off Block Island last June, when there was no one in distress, according to the U.S. attorney’s office. The men, Perry Phillips and Benjamin Foster, borrowed a flare gun and flares, set out on the water in a small skiff, and fired 3 flares that to be seen by people at their friend’s wedding reception, touching off the search and rescue effort. They recorded their actions to post on social media. (They had probably been heavily into the ‘S.O.S’ [sauce]…)
➢ A longtime Alabama sheriff removed from office for theft and ethics violations gave a 5-star review to the jail where he spent more than 2 weeks in custody. As well he should: He ran it for decades. Ousted Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely addressed the news media on Tuesday. Free on bond while appealing, he maintained his innocence but had no complaints about doing time in Limestone County jail. Quote: “Best jail in the state of Alabama…The food was real good, the staff took very good care of me.” He also said fellow inmates treated him well, with some even offering to have food delivered to him in jail. (Just in case he’s ever reinstated…)
-AP

DID YOU KNOW?
In a survey, the average person said it took them 5 hours of trial and error before quitting a DIY project and calling in a pro. As for the more successful DIY projects, when asked what they’re proudest of doing themselves, the #1 answer was repainting rooms. New landscaping was second, followed by kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom remodels. Next on the list were replacing light fixtures and new windows. (For me? Definitely replacing light…bulbs!)
-FamilyHandyman

BS CHRONOMETER 10.08.21

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [82] Paul Hogan, Sydney Australia, movie actor (“Crocodile Dundee” movies)

1943 [78] [Cornelius] Chevy Chase, New York City NY, comedian-TV actor (“Saturday Night Live” 1975-2013, “Community” 2009-14)/movie actor (“Vacation” movies)

1949 [72] [Susan] Sigourney Weaver, New York City NY, movie actress (“Avatar”, “Alien” movies)

1970 [51] Matt Damon, Cambridge MA, movie actor (“The Martian”, ‘Jason Bourne’ films)/screenwriter (Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)

1980 [41] Nick Cannon, San Diego CA, TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” 2009-16, host of “The Masked Singer” since 2019)/movie actor (“Drumline”)/married to Mariah Carey 2008-15

1985 [36] Bruno Mars [Peter Hernandez], Honolulu HI, pop singer-songwriter-producer (‘Locked Out of Heaven’, Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars-‘Uptown Funk’)

1993 [28] Angus T. Jones, Austin TX, TV actor (‘Jake’ on “Two and a Half Men”, 2003-15)

1997 [24] Bella Thorne, Pembroke Pines FL, model-TV actress (“Shake It Up”, 2010-13)/movie actress (“The Duff”)

SATURDAY- Jackson Browne (‘Doctor My Eyes’) is 73; Sharon Osbourne (“The Talk”) is 69; Guillermo del Toro (“The Hobbit”) is 57; Steve Burns (“Blue’s Clues”) is 48; Brandon Routh (“Arrow”) is 42; Chris O’Dowd (“Bridesmaids”) is 42; Scotty McCreery (‘Five More Minutes’) is 28

SUNDAY- David Lee Roth (Van Halen) is 67; Bradley Whitford (“The West Wing”) is 62; Wendy McLendon-Covey (“The Goldbergs”) is 52; Mario Lopez (“Access Hollywood”) is 48; NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr is 47; Mya (‘Lady Marmalade’) is 42; Dan Stevens (“Downton Abbey”) is 39

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Pierogi Day” (also spelled pyrogy, perogi, pirogi), honoring the traditional Eastern European dish consisting of boiled dumplings of unleavened dough stuffed with various ingredients. They’re best served while wearing a babushka. (So, what’s the yummiest kind?)
• “Touch Tag Day”, a salute to the schoolyard game that almost every kid has played in some version. The game that’s variously known as ‘Touch’, ‘Tag’, ‘It’, ‘Chasey’, and ‘Catching’ has been played by children for thousands of years, going back as far as Ancient Egypt. (Best thing about it . . . the equipment is really cheap!)
• “World Octopus Day”, an annual celebration of the odd animal with 8 semi-autonomous arms, thousands of smart suckers, cold-adapted blue blood, 3 beating hearts, and eerily advanced intelligence.
(BS FUN FACT: The plural for octopus is ‘octopuses’. While Merriam-Webster points out that people also refer to ‘octopi’ and ‘octopodes’ in modern usage, it’s still considered incorrect.)
• “Fluffernutter Day”, a sandwich consisting of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, or creme, that is usually served on white bread. Sometimes foods such as bacon or bananas are added to the fluffernutter as well.
• “National Depression Screening Day”, to raise awareness of depression through a short, anonymous and free online depression screening test, that can be taken with any computer or mobile device. LINK:  https://test4depression.com/english.html
• “World Egg Day”, eggs certainly are what they are cracked up to be. Aside from high cholesterol, eggs are a healthy food, high in nutrition, and low in fat.

SATURDAY-
• “Fire Prevention Day”, a highlight of the annual “Fire Prevention Week”. Why today? It marks the anniversary of the ‘Great Chicago Fire of 1871’, the disaster that began a movement toward fire prevention as an adjunct to firefighting.
• “Leif Erikson Day” in Norway and Iceland, commemorating the Viking explorer’s discovery of North America (‘Vinland’, thought to be northern Newfoundland) circa 1000 AD . . . almost 500 years before Christopher Columbus.
• “UN World Post Day”, honoring the founding of the Universal Postal Union in 1874. Today the UPU, with 192 member countries, oversees co-ordination of the global postal service.
• “Beer and Pizza Day”, paying homage to one of the most iconic food and drink combinations on Earth (without which, would we even HAVE bowling?).
• “National Sneakers Day”, also known as athletic shoes, tennis shoes, gym shoes, sport shoes, runners, or trainers, sneakers are the most democratic form of footwear, owned by almost everybody. There is also a large culture dedicated to the appreciation and collection of athletic and casual footwear.

SUNDAY-
• “Angel Food Cake Day”, honoring the dessert every starving dieter touts as being ‘fat-free’ … just before inhaling it in its entirety. (With a ton of high-fat whip cream!)
• “World Homeless Day”, to draw attention to the needs of the homeless and provide opportunities for communities to get involved in responding.
• “World Mental Health Day”, for mental health education and awareness. It was first celebrated in 1992 as an initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health, which operates in more than 90 countries.
• “World Porridge Day”, a celebration of Scotland’s traditional national dish. It began in the wee Scottish Highlands village of Carrbridge (home of the annual “World Porridge Making Championship”) as a fundraiser to help feed needy children. So how do you like your gruel? (I like mine not too hot, not too cold…. but JUST RIGHT!)
• “Hug a Drummer Day”, to celebrate percussionists who keep the rhythm, but are usually the least celebrated musicians in a band. Because we never miss a chance to tell them, here are our favorite drummer jokes:
➢ How can you tell when a drummer is at the door? [The knocking speeds up. Then he doesn’t know when to come in.]
➢ What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend? [Homeless.]
➢ How can you tell when the stage riser is level? [The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.]
➢ What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band? [“Hey guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?”]
➢ What’s the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer? [A podiatrist bucks up your feet…]
➢ And the all-time classic: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? [A drummer.]

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [17] Martha Stewart begins her prison sentence after being convicted of securities fraud, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy in a stock trading case (She has said her prison nickname was “M. Diddy”)

2015 [06] Selena Gomez reveals that she suffers from the autoimmune disease Lupus

TODAY IN MUSIC . . .
1971 [50] John Lennon releases his peace anthem ‘Imagine’. “Rolling Stone” later ranks it #3 in its list of “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time”

2019 [02] Pitbull trademarks his famous “grito” yell (‘EEEEEEEYOOOOOO.’), making it one of the few sounds protected by trademark, and likely the first by a musical artist

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [07] Buffalo Bills are sold to businessman Terry Pegula for $1.4 billion, then the highest price paid for an NFL team (Carolina Panthers were purchased by David Tepper in 2018 for $2.275 billion)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The memory capacity of the human brain is equivalent to more than four terabytes.
✓ Half of all forest fires are started by lightning.
✓ The first-ever email was sent in 1971.
✓ If there are 23 people in a room, there’s a 50% chance 2 will share a birthday.
✓ The most popular fruit worldwide is the tomato. If you don’t consider tomato a fruit, it’s the banana.
✓ The rate at which a person’s hair grows doubles during an airplane flight.
-BrightSide, BathroomReadersInstitute

BS WHACK TURKEY FACTS:
✓ A baby turkey is called a ‘poult’. A turkey under 16 weeks of age is called a ‘fryer’.
✓ That flesh-like appendage that hangs over a turkey’s beak is called the ‘snood’. The ‘wattle’ is the bright red appendage on the neck.
✓ A 15 lb (6.8 kg) turkey usually has about 70% white meat and 30% dark meat.
✓ Commercially raised turkeys are too heavy to fly. In fact, turkey breeding has caused turkey breasts to grow so large that turkeys sometimes fall over.
✓ A nervous disorder can cause turkeys to stare at the sky for 30 seconds or more. But scientists dismiss the notion that they can drown that way when it is raining.
✓ If you throw an apple to a group of turkeys, they’ll play with it together, kind of like soccer.
-University of Illinois, TorontoStar

Best of BS . . .
BS THANKSGIVING ‘TO-DO’ LIST:
• Go to supermarket, try to fit 3 frozen turkeys in pants.
• To give turkey delicious smoky flavor, leave in garage 4 days with car running.
• Buy fake severed finger to put in stuffing … a sure laugh-getter.
• Boil down bag of cranberries to make sauce which will stay untouched in the refrigerator until next July.
• Hook up tubing for gravy I-V.
• Check mother-in-law’s plane reservations. Give thanks for round-trip tickets.
• Practice Heimlich maneuver.
• Be prepared … unbuckle pants now.
-First published in BS in 2015

BS STUPID QUESTIONS AT WALMART:
• Is this Gucci?
• Why do you have 75 registers but only 3 cashiers?
• Would you like to buy the extended warranty on your item, which comes with a lifetime warranty?
• Where are the walls?
• Do you have any “flat earth” snow globes?
• Dude, where’s my car?
• Where’s the caviar section?
• Could this line be any longer?
• Do you have a dress code?
• There are no stupid questions at Wal Mart. Only stupid people.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Monday is Thanksgiving in Canada and Columbus Day in the US. (If Christopher Columbus were alive today, he’d say: “If only they had a special day where you could get an awesome deal on Sleeper-Sofas”!)
➠ A huge asteroid, 3 times the size of the Statue of Liberty, just flew by earth. (Which is good news because earth has comprehensive . . . but not collision.)
➠ A power outage in Ohio left thousands without power earlier this week. (It was the longest my Uncle Jerry has ever gone without microwaving a Hot Pocket…)
➠ A study found that conservatives are better at dieting than liberals. (Read more about it in today’s edition of “Studies that Didn’t Include Chris Christie.”)
➠ Russian President Vladimir Putin turned 69 yesterday. He did what he always does . . . huge party with friends and family, opened up presents . . . then he blew out Georgia…)

BS WHATCHA CALL IT?
Some of the following pairs are different names for the same item; some are 2 different foods altogether, despite conventional thinking. So, what’s the preference at your house?
• ‘Turkey Stuffing’ or ‘Turkey Dressing’?
• ‘Yams’ or ‘Sweet Potatoes’?
• ‘Cranberry Sauce’ or ‘Cranberry Jelly’?
• ‘Whipped Potatoes’ or ‘Mashed Potatoes’?
• ‘Tart’ or ‘Pie’?
-ReadersDigest

BS WEB GOODIE:
Jumping into the weekend like:   https://tinyurl.com/3j8s25up

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You are what you eat eats.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your favorite holiday? And why?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
Question:  An estimated 42% of Thanksgiving dinners feature THIS. What?
Answer:  A kid’s table

Question:  A survey of 1,000 men found that the average dad spends 7 hours a year doing THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Hiding in the bathroom to take a break from his family

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.