May 24 2019

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Friday, May 24, 2019 Edition: #6458

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★ Dan Aykroyd has revealed that he has written a “Ghostbusters” prequel, but admits it’s ”years away” from Jason Reitman’s upcoming “Ghostbusters 3”. Aykroyd says that he has written a screenplay called “Ghostbusters High”, where the characters first meet in New Jersey in 1969.  He says: “It’s on [Reitman]’s desk…it’s a neat idea for a prequel. Imagine casting the three characters as teenagers!”
★ ABC turned back the clock Wednesday night with live reenactments of classic episodes of “All in the Family” and “The Jeffersons” in a special honoring legendary producer Norman Lear. The all-star cast included Woody Harrelson and Marisa Tomei as Archie and Edith Bunker and Jamie Foxx and Wanda Sykes as George and Louise Jefferson. But there was one all-time fan favorite that couldn’t be replaced: Marla Gibbs. She reprised her role as the Jeffersons’ wisecracking maid, Florence Johnston, and it’s safe to say that even after all these years, she’s still got it.
★ Celebrity chef Mario Batali is facing a criminal charge on allegations that he forcibly kissed and groped a woman at a Boston restaurant in 2017. Batali, who recently gave up financial stakes in all his restaurants, is scheduled to be arraigned today on a charge of indecent assault and battery. It’s the first criminal charge against Batali resulting from several sexual harassment and assault allegations that crippled his career amid the #MeToo movement.
★ Kristen Wiig is taking a stance on Georgia’s new abortion bill and has decided to pull her upcoming film shoot from the state.  “Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar”, which reunites Wiig with her “Bridesmaids” co-writer Annie Mumolo, is about two friends going on a vacation to Florida. They were supposed to start filming in Georgia, but Wiig has decided to scrap those plans and shoot elsewhere.
★ The Property Brothers are almost ready to share their biggest project ever. The Canadian home reno superstars Jonathan and Drew Scott have been hard at work restoring the original “Brady Bunch” house, used for exterior shots in the classic sitcom. Drew also revealed that they got help from “Brady” fans around the world who gave up their precious memorabilia to be included in the house’s renovated interior. “A Very Brady Renovation” is set to air this year on HGTV.

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dana Carvey, Emily Ratajkowski, Chloe Hilliard
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Kaley Cuoco, Simon Helberg, Kunal Nayyar, Mayim Bialik, Melissa Rauch, the Barenaked Ladies (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Bill Hader, Kathryn Newton, Johnny Radelat (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Adam Scott, Taron Egerton, Miles Kane (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Mark Cuban, Barbara Corcoran, Kevin O’Leary, Lori Greiner, Daymond John (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): John Travolta, Ella Bleu Travolta, Michael Ray, guest co-host Jodie Sweetin
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Dana Carvey
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Snoop Dogg, James Blake
• “Whistleblower” (CBS): Season 2 premiere: The story of a whistleblower who exposed corrupt officers who stole from drug dealers and planted drugs on innocent people.
• “Dynasty” (CW): Season 2 finale

• “From Friend to Fiancé” (HALLMARK): Jess Parks is in her early 30’s, has a good job, great friends and a cool apartment in the city. She has it all, except the ability to find a perfect match who would appreciate her quirky humor and outgoing nature.
• “Ransom” (CBS): Season 3 finale

• “Game of Thrones: The Last Watch” (HBO): Two-hour documentary chronicling the making of the final season of the HBO hit.
• “National Memorial Day Concert 2019” (PBS): Joe Mantegna and Mary McCormack host the annual salute to America’s military heroes from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol, featuring the National Symphony Orchestra under the direction of Jack Everly.
• “NASCAR Sprint Cup Series” (FOX): The Coca-Cola 600 from Charlotte Motor Speedway in Concord, N.C.
• “Killing Eve” (AMC): Season 2 finale

• Ariana Grande — shared a bee emoji on her Instagram Story in memory of those who died in the Manchester Arena bombing on Wednesday’s two-year anniversary of the tragedy. The bee is a reference to the city of Manchester, which has taken its traditional worker bee symbol as a sign of strength.
• Pink — On Tuesday, she surprised her New York audience when she brought Chris Stapleton on stage for the live debut of ‘Love Me Anyway’, which the pair sing on her new “Hurts 2B Human” album.
• The Rolling Stones — are back in the studio working on their new album. They were forced to postpone their North American “No Filter Tour” in April while Mick Jagger underwent heart valve replacement surgery. A spokesperson says ”The album is moving ahead but no release date as yet. Mick is keen to make up for lost time.”
• Moby — has responded after Natalie Portman denied that the pair dated in the ’90s. He recounted their dating in his new memoir, “Then It Fell Apart”, but Portman denied it, saying she found it “disturbing” that false stories were being used to promote the book. Moby wrote in response that he respects Portman’s “regret in dating me…(I would probably regret dating me too), but it doesn’t alter the actual facts…”
• Gin Blossoms – Their 1993 hit ‘Runaway Train’ has been recreated in a new video by singer-songwriters Skylar Grey, Jamie N Commons and Gallant in hopes of locating a new generation of lost children. The video for the original version famously featured real-life footage of missing children, and was eventually credited with locating 21 of the 36 missing kids featured.
• Black Sabbath — Zakk Wylde’s Sabbath tribute band, “Zakk Sabbath” has announced plans to recreate his heroes’ self-titled debut album 50 years to the day after the original was recorded. Pre-orders for the $100 limited-edition record sold out within two hours, and there are no plans to make more copies available in any format.
• Maren Morris – says she was so affected by the movie “A Star is Born” that she had to have therapy. Morris told Women’s Health magazine that she has experienced many things similar to what Lady GaGa’s character Ally Campana goes through in the film. She says that she’s gone through ”ups and downs” with her own mental health and found it ”hard to eat” when she wasn’t in the right state of mind emotionally, losing 20 pounds in the process.
• Blake Shelton – is in no hurry to make a new album. He says he’s not sure people care about albums anymore, and although he has more songs that he is “pumped about”, he’s happy just releasing singles.  But he concedes that at some point, his record company will probably pressure him into releasing a full album.

• “Aladdin” (PG, Kids/Family):  A kindhearted street urchin and a power-hungry Grand Vizier vie for a magic lamp that has the power to make their deepest wishes come true. (Will Smith, Mena Massoud)
• “Brightburn” (R-Rated, Horror):  What if a child from another world crash-landed on Earth, but instead of becoming a hero to mankind, he proved to be something far more sinister? (Elizabeth Banks, Jackson A. Dunn)
• “Booksmart” (R-Rated, Comedy):  On the eve of their high school graduation, two academic superstars and best friends realize they should have worked less and played more, so they try to cram four years of fun into one night. (Kaitlyn Dever, Jason Sudeikis)
• “The Poison Rose” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense, Limited):  A former football player-turned-private investigator is hired to investigate what appears to be a routine missing-persons case. It leads him to an intricate plot that seemingly pins a murder on his long-lost daughter. (Brendan Fraser, John Travolta, Morgan Freeman)

Guys, if you’re wondering why you’re still single, the truth is: you might be just too darn good-looking. A Florida State University study found that in successful relationships, the woman is usually more “aesthetically gifted” than her partner. In other words, women are happier with less attractive men. And of course, men are happier with more attractive women. They rated 113 newlywed couples on their individual looks and found that if the male was less attractive than his wife, he was more willing to make an extra effort to keep her happy. This could include doing things like showering her in gifts, doing more chores around the house and improving his grooming habits. Basically: ‘Happy wife, happy life’. Researchers also found that when men were rated more attractive than their partners, the women felt inferior, which negatively affected their relationship.
(There are smart men, handsome men, rich men, sexy men and sweet men. And then there is the combination of all. We call that one a “unicorn”)
(So, if you’re single, it could be that you’re too handsome. Or you might just have an irritating personality!)
(So, to the good-looking guys: You just be patient. And to us uglier dudes: Way to go, you sly devil!

➢ A Florida man who was spotted standing up through his sunroof while driving on a busy expressway told police that he would rather get locked up than go home to his wife. 70-year-old Leonard Olsen was detained after being spotted by an off-duty policeman while standing through the sunroof of his car with his arms spread out. Witness-shot video shows him at one point just sitting on his sunroof while the car was still moving. Olen told police that he planned to turn himself in because he didn’t want to go back to his wife.
(He could have just kept on driving…)
➢ Police in Hamburg, Germany say a couple took a cab from the hospital with their newborn baby, but when they got home, they took the baby’s year-old sibling from the car, paid the driver and said goodbye. It wasn’t until the cab had departed that the dad realized he had said goodbye to both the driver and his newborn. The driver finally noticed his stowaway after he had parked the cab for a lunch break. After a quick checkup by the ambulance crew, the baby was returned to his parents.
(…wearing a bell!)
➢ A French mayor wants to offer up free Viagra to young couples in an effort to increase the population of his town. Jean Debouzy, mayor of Montereau, a village of 650 people, issued an official decree saying he was “favorable to the distribution of small blue pills.” Debouzy said he would offer the pills, typically prescribed for erectile dysfunction, to strangers in the hopes they move to his town, as well as couples already there, hoping to spark a baby boom that would save schools in the area.
(I can just see the new town slogan: “Move to Montereau, where the livin’ is…hard!”)


1938 [81] Tommy Chong, Edmonton, AB, movie actor (“Cheech and Chong” comedy albums and movies, ‘Leo’ in “That 70’s Show”)

1941 [78] Bob Dylan (Zimmerman), Duluth MN, folk/rock/pop singer-songwriter (‘Like a Rolling Stone’)/Lifetime Achievement “Grammy Award” (1991)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1988)/Nobel Prize in Literature (2016)

1945 [74] Priscilla Presley, Brooklyn, NY, TV Actress (‘Jenna Wade’ on “Dallas” 1983-1988)/ married to Elvis Presley 1967-1973

1960 [59] Doug Jones, Indianapolis IN, movie actor (“The Shape of Water”, “Pan’s Labyrinth”)

1965 [54] John C. Reilly, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Step Brothers”, “Guardians of the Galaxy”)

1969 [50] Rich Robinson, Atlanta GA, rock guitarist (Black Crowes-‘Hard to Handle’, ‘She Talks to Angels’)

1982 [37] Cody Hanson, Plano TX, rock drummer (Hinder-‘Lips of an Angel’)

1986 [33] Mark Ballas, Houston TX, professional dancer (“Dancing With the Stars” 2007-2016)

(Sir) Ian McKellen (“Lord Of the Rings” trilogy) is 80; Frank Oz (‘Yoda’ in “Star Wars”) is 75; Mike Meyers (“Austin Powers” movies) is 56; Anne Heche (“Men in Trees”) is 50; Octavia Spencer (“The Help”) is 49; Lauryn Hill (The Fugees) is 44; Cillian Murphy (“Peaky Blinders”) is 43

Stevie Nicks (‘Edge of Seventeen’) is 71; Hank Williams Jr. (‘All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight’) is 70; Lenny Kravitz (‘Are You Gonna Go My Way’) is 55; Helena Bonham Carter (“The King’s Speech”) is 53; Scott Disick (“Keeping Up With The Kardashians”) is 36

• “Asparagus Day”, honoring the only ‘spears’ most of us ever eat. Essayist Marcel Proust wrote in the late 1800s that asparagus “transforms my chamber-pot into a flask of perfume.” (Someone needs to get his nose checked!)

• “Brothers Day”, a day to give them a quick punch on the arm … just to let ’em know you care.

• “Escargot Day”, celebrating the gourmet food you can harvest off your driveway. How come we’ll eat snails but not slugs? Aren’t they the same thing?

• “International Tiara Day”, a day for women to celebrate their leadership powers. Real or virtual tiara-wearing is optional.

• “Scavenger Hunt Day”, a game where individuals or teams compete to find items or perform tasks provided to them as a list by the organizers of the game.

• “Geek Pride Day”, a day for sci-fi fans and techno-nerds to stand tall. The date coincides with the 1977 release of the first “Star Wars” movie. What is a geek? The Geek Pride Organization says ‘you know one when you see one’. (Wasn’t May the 4th enough for these dweebs?)
• “International Missing Children’s Day”, promoting awareness of the problem, and safety tips for kids and parents. We’re encouraged to turn on porch lights as a show of hope and support for missing kids and their families.
• “Tap Dance Day”, honoring the birthday of Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson, ‘King of Tap Dancers’, in 1878.
• “Brown Bag-It Day”, taking your lunch to work or school is an effective way to save money and to ensure you and your family are eating healthy (and to smuggle all of the cookies out of the house for yourself!)
• “Wine Day”, Celebrated each year, it has a sister holiday in February, National Drink Wine Day. (really, ANY day is wine day)

• “Blueberry Cheesecake Day”. Well okay … if we have to!
• “Paper Airplane Day”, an unofficial observance honoring the simple aeronautical toy anyone can make. You’re encouraged to stage contests for ‘greatest distance’ and ‘longest time aloft’.
• “World Redhead Day”, Some Wack Redhead Facts:
➠ Less than 2% of the population has red hair.
➠ Red hair is thicker than other colors, and harder to dye.
➠ Redheads are more sensitive to hot, cold and pain.
➠ Redheads are more likely to be left handed.
➠ Thanks to climate change, it is believed that red hair is dye-ing out (sorry for the pun!)
➠ Redhead women have more sex.

1991 [28] Oscar-winning road movie “Thelma & Louise”, starring Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon, opens in theaters

2014 [05] Reality star Kim Kardashian and rapper Kanye West are married in Florence, Italy

2006 [13] Taylor Hicks wins Season 5 of “American Idol”, defeating Katharine McPhee

2016 [03] Gord Downie, lead singer of The Tragically Hip, announces that he has a terminal brain cancer called glioblastoma. Downie does one last tour with the band, closing with a show in his hometown of Kingston, Ontario, on August 21. He died Oct. 17 2017

1935 [84] In the first night game in Major League Baseball history in Cincinnati, Ohio, the Cincinnati Reds defeat the Philadelphia Phillies 2–1 at Crosley Field (This lamp post brought to you by…)

2003 [16] Paul McCartney sits down for tea with Russian president Vladimir Putin, then heads to Moscow’s Red Square for his 1st-ever performance in the country


✓ Although the use of GPS is free, it costs $2 million per day to operate. The money comes from American taxpayers.
✓ Until 2016, the song ‘Happy Birthday’ was under copyright, and those singing it in public were legally required to pay a licensing fee.
✓ There is a punctuation mark used to signify irony or sarcasm. It looks like a backward question mark. ( ⸮ )
✓ On average, a 150 pound person burns 114 calories per hour while standing and doing nothing.
✓ A wildlife technician took the famous tongue twister, “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood,” and calculated that a woodchuck would chuck 700 pounds of wood if it could chuck wood.
✓ Herring fish communicate through flatulence.

• Each time a driver passes ‘Go’, he collects $200.
• Drivers have the option of turning right.
• Every driver’s middle name is “Cooter”.
• All vehicle logos are ‘scratch and sniff’.
• You don’t watch it just for the crashes.
• Most of the jumpsuits worn by drivers are available at The Gap.
• It is possible to recreate the Daytona 500 at home by putting your dinky car collection into the toilet and flushing.
• Every car used in NASCAR races is a hybrid.
• Most drivers saved 15% or more on their car insurance by switching to Geico.
• It’s also fun to watch sober.

Best of BS . . .

• “Wish there had been more Math!”
• “I think we proved that teens really do care deeply about school spirit.”
• “It’s all smooth sailing from here on out!”
• “Why can’t I seem to swipe left on any of these pictures?”
• “I know this 5th year of high school is going to be grate.”
• “Brittney’s baby shower was the best party of the year!”
• “Remember: Zits do not last forever but your nickname ‘Zitty McZitFace’ might”
• “Let’s stay connected on Facebook because I really want to see what kinds of salads you’re eating 10 years from now.”
• “Looking forward to all of the opportunities that the real world will have for me to use algebra!”
• “I’m going to be very proud of this picture in the future!”
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

A one-day holiday all to yourself.  What do you do?

Today is Friday, which means I’ll be multi-slacking instead of multi-tasking…

Question:  When it comes to ‘dumping’ someone, more than 30% said that THIS was the real reason. What?
Answer:  The other person wasn’t smart enough!

People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.


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