May 23 2019

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Thursday, May 23, 2019 – Edition: #6457

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

★ “The Big Bang Theory” went out with a, well, a pretty big bang for CBS last week, and three days of delayed viewing only saw the ratings for the May 16 series finale increase. The final episode drew 23.44 million viewers, according to Nielsen’s live-plus-three ratings, which factors in three days of delayed viewing. That makes “The Big Bang Theory” finale the most-watched non-sports program of the 2018-19 season on any network or streaming platform. “The Big Bang Theory” wrapped with its 279th episode, which made it the longest-running multi-camera series in television history.
★ Things are gonna get dark when “Stranger Things” returns for its third season on July 4. In was announced on Tuesday that Coca-Cola is partnering with Netflix to journey back to one of the darkest periods in recent history: the birth of New Coke. The infamous soda sparked outcry when Coca-Cola changed its formula for the soft drink in the summer of 1985, in what is now considered the biggest marketing mistakes of all time. New Coke lasted just 79 days before the original recipe returned as “Coca-Cola Classic.” “New Coke” will appear in several episodes of Season 3, and a limited number of New Coke cans will become available as part of the deal.
★ Legendary Formula 1 racer and the inspiration for the movie “Rush” Niki Lauda died Monday … nine months after undergoing a lung transplant. He was 70. Lauda is considered one of F1’s greatest-ever drivers, winning the F1 drivers’ championship in 1975 and ’77 with Ferrari and again in ’84 with McLaren — but he’s most famous for crashing and catching fire in 1976 at the German Grand Prix. Lauda’s incredible comeback after dodging death made him the stuff of legend, and his 1976 rivalry with British driver James Hunt was the plot line of the 2013 movie “Rush.”
★ Johnny Depp has accused his ex-wife of painting injuries on her body to make him look like an abuser. Depp filed a $50 million defamation lawsuit against Amber Heard earlier this year, after she implied that she was a domestic violence victim in a piece she wrote for The Washington Post. Now, his deposition has been published by “The Blast”. In it, Depp says: “Ms. Heard’s fabricated domestic violence allegations against me are categorically and demonstrably false.” He goes on to suggest that Heard completely fabricated her stories of abuse, going as far as to fake bruises in photos using makeup.
★ Elle Fanning experienced a frightening medical emergency at a Cannes Film Festival event Monday evening. The “Maleficent” star spoke out about the health scare on Instagram, explaining that she passed out. Why? Fanning Elle explained she fainted due to her dress being too tight and it was also that “#timeofthemonth.”
(Hashtag TMI!)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jason Sudeikis, Ben Platt
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Harrison Ford, Richard Madden, Bazzi
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Conan O’Brien, Jim Sciutto
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Olivia Wilde, Christopher Abbott, Janine Brito, Sebastian Thomson
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Lucy Liu, James Marsden
• “Conan” (TBS): Jason Mantzoukas, Nish Kumar
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Billie Lourd, Allison Williams
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Allison Williams
• “The Talk” (CBS): William Shatner, guest co-host Kellie Pickler
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jamie Foxx, Corinne Foxx, Richard Madden
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kunal Nayyar, David Mizejewski, YG featuring Tyga, Loni Love
• “This Is Farrah Fawcett” (ABC): Exploring her life, career and legacy, featuring footage from video diaries of her fight against cancer; and remarks from those who knew her, including her “Charlie’s Angels” co-star, Jacyln Smith
• “Red Nose Day” (NBC): Comedy and music mix in the fifth annual fund-raiser for programs that address the needs of children and young people. Kelly Clarkson and Blake Shelton perform, plus: a reimagining of Hall and Oates’ ‘You Make My Dreams’
• “Elementary” (CBS): Season 7 premiere

• Kanye West – is planning to become an ordained minister following the recent birth of his Biblically-named son, Psalm West. An insider was quoted as saying: “Kanye is convinced that his calling in life is now gospel and spreading the word of God. He has always been a man of faith, but he has taken it to a whole new level now.”
• Justin Bieber — announced on Tuesday that he is the new face of natural deodorant brand “Schmidt’s”. His “Here + Now” deodorant will launch this fall and will be made vegan, cruelty-free and with all plant-based ingredients. Bieber helped design the label artwork and formulated the scent.
• Cher – has teamed up with the company “Scent Beauty” to create her own “genderless” perfume. “Eau de Couture by Cher” is for both men and women. It will be her first fragrance since the “Uninhibited” was discontinued 1987.
• Queen — Adam Lambert is throwing cold water on the idea of recording new material with the group. In an interview, the Queen + Adam Lambert singer said: “I’m not sure it makes total sense because it wouldn’t really be Queen, because to me Queen is Freddie [Mercury].”
• David Lee Roth – says he is exploring the possibility of a new Las Vegas residency. He appears to have turned away from hinting that Van Halen is planning to tour anytime soon. Roth did a Vegas residency in the 1990s, long before it became a popular move for big-name musicians.
• Jon Bon Jovi — received an honorary Doctor of Music degree from the University of Pennsylvania on Monday. He was recognized at the school’s commencement for both his musical achievements and his humanitarian endeavors, including his “Soul Kitchen” community restaurants in New Jersey.
• ZZ Top – are working on a ‘jukebox musical show’. “Sharp Dressed Man” is set to open in Las Vegas next year. Described as an “outrageous, bawdy musical romp,” it will include many of their classics such as ‘Gimme All Your Lovin’,’ ‘La Grange’, and ‘Legs’. Band members Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill and Frank Beard are acting as executive producers.
• Luke Combs — is packaging his latest hit single ‘Beer Never Broke My Heart’ as part of a new five-song EP. “The Prequel” will be released June 7th and include all-new material. It will be the first extended release from Combs since his deluxe edition of “This One’s for You Too” last summer.
• Montgomery Gentry – There is unreleased music on the way. A new EP titled “Outskirts” is set for release on June 14. Recorded before the tragic death of Troy Gentry, it will feature seven tracks, including a cover of Merle Haggard’s ‘What Am I Gonna Do With the Rest of My Life’ and a guest appearance by rock guitar legend Steve Vai.

One of the things that a Uber or Lyft driver is rated on is the cleanliness of their vehicle. But what about the germs and bacteria and stuff that you CAN’T see?  Researchers associated with the “Netquote” insurance company determined that the rideshare vehicles that they tested contain 35,000 times more germs than a toilet seat. What kind of wonderful creations were found lurking in the creepy crevices of these strangers’ cars? Well, the cold and flu viruses for starters.  How about E. coli? Check. They found that too. The majority of germs were found on the window buttons, with seat belts found to be the second-grossest area.
(So you’re telling me that it’s probably safer NOT to buckle up in one of those things?)
(The thought of riding the toilet for most of New Year’s Eve doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?)
(So when we are going to have a “Hazmat” option on the app?)

One of the great things about a summertime campfire (besides seeing Uncle Bob pass out in a lawn chair and slooowwwly slide toward the flames…) is the ooey gooey marshmallow and chocolate deliciousness of s’mores. The combination of the two sweets is the very definition of summertime for many children. One problem, though: When chocolate doesn’t melt as well as you want it to. And this is why we have science.  Recognizing this all-to-common thief of summertime joy, Stuffed Puffs has come up with a new type of marshmallow to hopefully save the day (or evening, as the case might be…). Introducing: Marshmallows filled with chocolate! That’s right, they’ve taken one major step out of the s’mores making process, by putting the chocolate inside the marshmallow. Apparently, you can roast them over the fire and they look just like normal giant marshmallows, but when you take a bite, you’ll find that the core—the chocolate filling—melted first, and it remains held in place by its toasted marshmallow shell. And all is good with the world.  They are available now…in time for Memorial Day weekend.
(As if they’ll ever make it as far as the campfire!)
(Now can they please work on creating a s’more that doesn’t make my beer taste funny?)
(I’ve never seen a kid…or a Mom…who was bothered in the LEAST if the chocolate didn’t melt!)

Gadgets for the tech-loving dog owner (and his or her dog) . . .
➢ Dog Tracker:  They usually attach to your dog’s collar and once you install an app on your phone, you can then track your dog’s activity and location.  Especially handy if your dog has poor “location recall”, if you take him to unfamiliar areas, or if he tends to “follow his nose.” (Or if there are fireworks!)
➢ Interactive Ball Thrower:  A great investment if your dog is quite “ball motivated”. Some dogs can learn how to activate the ball launcher themselves; others need some guidance.  (Especially handy if you have a throwing arm like mine!)
➢ GoPro Harness:  Just what it sounds like…a GoPro camera mounted on a dog harness. Can be used to film from the dog’s perspective when out on a hike, while they are taking part in a doggie sport, or even when they are swimming. (Or if you’ve ever wondered what garbage-eating looks like close-up…)
➢ Dyson Groom:  This vacuum cleaner attachment allows you to groom your dog while the hairs are sucked straight into the vacuum cleaner. (Because you know how much your dog loves the vacuum cleaner…)
➢ Outdoor Pet Water Sprinkler:  Yes, a pet water sprinkler which Rover can be taught to activate himself by stepping on the pedal. Great for helping to keep your dog cool, hydrated and mentally enriched in summer.  (And it’s entirely possible that the kids will figure it out, too!)
➢ Ultraviolet Urine Detector:  If you have a puppy or new rescue dog going through toilet training, or a male dog that is prone to lifting his leg in the house, this could be a practical product for helping with home hygiene. (I’m much more inclined to go with the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” line of thought…)
➢ iCalmDog Portable Speaker:  Yes, a stereo speaker for your dog. Designed to help dogs that suffer from separation anxiety, as well as those which easily become over-excited. It comes pre-loaded with 4 hours of music which is specially designed to promote a calming effect. (4 hours?  Did they think he was going to complain if you played the same song twice?)

‘Smart’ home devices understand men better than women. An American study found that 67% of female owners say that their device fails to respond to a voice command at least sometimes, compared to 54% of male owners. It appears that the devices are better at detecting the deeper tones of men’s voices. The study also found that women tend to speak more politely to their smart speakers, with 45% saying they always or often say “please” and “thank you”, compared to only 30% of male owners.
(We figure those last numbers would be about 95 and 85% in Canada…)


1933 [86] Joan Collins, London, England, TV Actress (‘Alexis Carrington’ on “Dynasty” 1981-1999)

1958 [61] Drew Carey, Cleveland OH, comedian/TV host (“The Price is Right” since 2007)/TV producer (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2006)/TV actor (“Drew Carey Show” 1995-2004)

1958 [61] Lea DeLaria, Belleville IL, TV actress (‘Big Boo’ on “Orange Is the New Black” 2013-18)

1965 [54] Melissa McBride, Lexington KY, TV actress (‘Carol Peletier’ on “The Walking Dead” since 2010)

1967 [52] Phil Selway, Abingdon UK, alt-rock drummer (Radiohead-‘Creep’, ‘Karma Police’)

1970 [49] Matt Flynn, LA CA, pop drummer (Maroon 5-‘Moves Like Jagger’, ‘She Will Be Loved’)

1974 [45] Jewel (Kilcher), Payson UT, country/folk/pop singer (‘Foolish Games’, ‘Who Will Save Your Soul’)

1999 [20] James Charles, New York, influencer (Makeup artist who became the first male spokesperson for CoverGirl)

• “Taffy Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey soft candy that sticks to your dental fillings. Salt water taffy was originally produced in Atlantic City, NJ back in 1883

• “Lucky Penny Day”, see a penny, pick it up… All day long you’ll have good luck. When you are out and about, look on the ground for pennies. It just might be your lucky day! (Canadians, Aussies and Kiwis, you’ll have to look for a lucky nickel…)

• “Turtle Day”, an opportunity to learn more about turtles and how to protect them and their shrinking habitats. (Scientists are now saying that the earliest turtles developed their shells not for protection, but for digging. Do you believe them?)

• “World Crohn’s and Colitis Day”, a way to bring people affected by either disease together, as well as friends and family members of those individuals, and even those who knew nothing about either disease in order to increase awareness of them.

[Fri] Brother’s Day
[Fri] Asparagus Day
[Sat] Geek Pride Day
[Sat] National Tap Dance Day

2005 [14] Tom Cruise infamously leaps on the couch and pumps his fist in the air to express his love for Katie Holmes during an appearance on “Oprah” (that seemed to help the relationship…)

2010 [09] Bret Michaels of Poison wins Season 9 of Donald Trump’s show “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

2007 [12] The US Library of Congress hands out its first ‘Gershwin Award’ to singer-songwriter Paul Simon

2012 [07] Adam Lambert becomes the 1st openly gay artist to debut at #1 on the ‘Billboard 200’ chart, with his album “Trespassing”

1982 [37] Colin Wilson rides a surfboard a record 294 miles (473 km)


✓ All babies are color blind when they are born.
✓ On average, a disposable diaper can hold up to 7 pounds of liquid.
✓ There are three golf balls sitting on the moon.
✓ The sting from a killer bee contains less venom than the sting from a regular bee.
✓ Apples are 25% air.
✓ An airplane mechanic invented Slinky while he was playing with engine parts and realized the possible secondary use for the springs.

1. What year was stick deodorant introduced?
a. 1941
b. 1963 [CORRECT]
c. 1979
d. 1983

2. What was Oprah Winfrey’s intended first name, before a misspelling on her birth certificate?
a. Orpah [CORRECT]
b. Opreh
c. Ophar
d. Harpo

• The Lion Taunter
• Fast Animals, Slow Children
• Panda-monium
• Late Night National Geographic
• Animals Gone Wild Kingdom
• Get This Thing Off of Me!
• Guy Fieri Tries Put BBQ Sauce on a Live Gator
• Wait, I Think They’re Watching Us Back
• Baby Shark Week
• Jacques Cousteau Does Dallas

• It’s being live-blogged online.
• Everybody’s drinking open source beer.
• There is barbecue-flavored ramen.
• Heat resistant webcam inserted in the grill lid keeps an eye on the food when it’s closed.
• It’s being held in mom & dad’s basement.
–, first published in ‘BS’ 2008

What, to you, is totally overrated?

If anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my door’s always open.

Question:  61% of men have lied about liking THIS in order to fit in. What is it?
Answer:  NFL football

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision.


Leave a comment