Wednesday, August 3, 2016 – Edition: #5788

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jon Stewart’s new HBO show could be here just in time for the US presidential election in November. Stewart signed a 4-year-contract with HBO last year right after he left his long stint as host of “The Daily Show” (Comedy Central). One of his new projects is to produce an animated parody of a cable news network that may premiere in September or October. It’s been one hell of an election season so far, but one thing we’ve been missing from this massive political circus is Jon Stewart’s cynical voice of reason.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ R&B artists Faith Evans and Raphael Saadiq have guest appearances on the upcoming Marvel superhero TV series “Luke Cage”. They pop up in scenes set in the fictional Harlem NY nightclub ‘Paradise’ run by villain ‘Cottonmouth’, played by Mahershala Ali (‘Remy Danton’ on “House of Cards”). “Luke Cage” stars actor Mike Colter as the titular superhero, a former convict-turned-crimefighter. The show premieres on streaming service Netflix on September 30th.
– Hollywood.com
★ Gawker founder Nick Denton has filed for personal bankruptcy amid the website’s battle with Hulk Hogan. Denton lists $10 million-to-$50 million in assets and $100 million-to-$500 million in debts. Denton owes Hogan $125 million after a jury sided with the wrestler in an invasion of privacy lawsuit filed after Gawker posted Hogan’s sex tape online. The jury awarded Hogan $140 million, and Gawker owes the wrestler another $15 million. Gawker Media Group filed for bankruptcy in June and will be sold at auction this month.
– “New York Post”
★ Is ‘Hiddleswift’ on the rocks? Taylor Swift & Tom Hiddleston used to be photographed in public multiple times a day, but now things appear to have cooled off. In total, they made 24 public appearances in 3 weeks at the beginning of their relationship – in LA, NYC, Nashville, Rhode Island, UK, Australia, and Italy. In stark contrast, they’ve barely been spotted together of late. This is causing some to speculate on whether or not the couple has broken up.
– Telegraph.co.uk
★ And power couple Tom Brady & Gisele Bündchen have seemingly purchased a waterfront apartment in NYC for over $20 million because they want tighter security. They already own a sprawling estate overlooking Madison Square Garden but have decided to pack it up and move across town to the Hudson River. Although they’ve yet to sign the contract, it’s believed their new home – in the same building as Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, and Taylor Swift – comes complete with sauna & steam room, 5 bathrooms, and breath-taking views.
– PageSix.com.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – The results of viewer voting reveal which acts advance to the semis.
• “CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock” (ABC) – Highlights from the 4-day June event in Nashville TN. Performances by Brett Eldredge, Dierks Bentley, Eric Church, Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Little Big Town, Luke Bryan, Miranda Lambert, Rascal Flatts, and Thomas Rhett.
• “Chelsea” (Netflix) – Common (“Like Water For Chocolate”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Miranda Lambert performs “Vice”.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Radical Face (“The Family Tree: The Leaves”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Lukas Graham (“Lukas Graham”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Gallant (“Holding Back with SG Lewis”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Aaron Neville (“Apache”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Andy Grammar.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Fergie – She’s let it slip that Black Eyed Peas are ”doing something” without her. She has no plans to reunite with the Peas after last performing with them in 2011. But she says fans can expect something from them very soon to mark the 20th anniversary of the group.
• Kesha – In a surprise move she’s dropping assault charges against former manager/producer Dr Luke. It’s said to be an attempt to get her career back on track. In fact, she’s submitted 28 new songs to Luke’s Sony record label in a bid to fulfill her contract ASAP.
• The Killers – They’re planning to celebrate the 10th anniversary of their sophomore album “Sam’s Town” with a limited-edition vinyl reissue this Fall. It features 2 bonus tracks.
• KISS – Gene Simmons’ 24-year-old singer/songwriter daughter Sophie Tweed-Simmons is hoping to score a hit with Rick Ross after writing a track especially for him. It’s an odd occurrence, considering her dad has openly discussed his dislike for rap many times.
• Prince – Legal bills for sorting out his estate have already hit almost $2 million. The administrator, Bremer Trust, has also asked court approval for own fees, which have been submitted under seal. This is why you take the time to draw up a will.

THIS CAREER IS TAKING OFF:
Thinking about a career path? You might want to consider the aviation industry. According to Boeing’s annual ‘Pilot & Technician Outlook’ report, commercial airlines worldwide will need to add 814,000 cabin crew members, 679,000 maintenance technicians, and 617,000 pilots through 2035. A lot of that growth (about 40%) will happen in Asia thanks to its growing middle class. Still, there will be many airline jobs created in North America and Europe as current workers retire. North America is predicted to account for 21% of new crew members and 17% of new pilots and technicians, with growth being spurred by new markets in Cuba and Mexico. (The trouble with being a pilot is, you gotta BYOB.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

ROBO-CABS COMING TO SINGAPORE:
So far it’s the regulations surrounding self-driving cars – not the technology – that has been the biggest obstacle to getting them on the road. As a city-state with just a single layer of government, Singapore is in a unique position to make the necessary reforms to introduce them, and even go one step further. This week a new pilot program has been announced for “an urban, point-to-point, low-speed, autonomous, mobility-on-demand service”. BS translation: driver-less taxis. A fleet of self-driving Audis will soon be introduced to Singapore roads on fixed routes. It’s the world’s first driver-less cab service. (Hooray … no tipping!)
– Newsweek.com

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 56% of us sometimes eat while we’re grocery shopping. (Especially at Costco.)
• 46% of us have moved because of a love relationship. (Toward or away?)
• 42% of men have fallen asleep while getting a haircut. (And other things.)
• 40% of us have seen a neighbor fetch their morning newspaper in their underwear. (What a strange place to keep a newspaper.)
• 33% of men say their fondest memory of family car trips is torturing their younger brothers & sisters. (Who will laugh at their funeral.)
• 20% of us have swiped flowers from someone else’s their garden. (“I got this bouquet for you, honey.”)

PAGAN PARTY TIME:
The original Olympic Games were held every 4 years from 776 BC to AD 394, making them the longest-running recurring event in antiquity. What was the secret of the Games’ longevity? According to “The Naked Olympics: The True Story Of the Ancient Games”, it was the sheer spectacle of it. Sports were just one part of the grand, all-consuming extravaganza. It was first and foremost a religious event, where sacrifices and rituals would take up as much time as athletic competition. And there were all kinds of peripheral activities that came with the festival: artistic happenings, new writers, new painters, new sculptors. There were fire-eaters, palm readers, and prostitutes. (An all-inclusive pagan entertainment package!)
– NationalGeographic.com

BS BUZZWORDS:
Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Subway Desert’ – An urban area that is underserved by an urban subway system.
• ‘Tip Creep’ – The gradual increase in the standard tip percentage; also describes the number of service workers who expect or request tips.
• ‘Wrist-Top’ – A computer or similar device worn and used on the wrist.

GUN CONTROL … SORTA:
Apple has swapped out an emoji in what some describe as a reflection of growing concerns about gun safety. New Yorkers Against Gun Violence has been lobbying Apple since last year with its #DisarmTheiPhone campaign, designed to convince the company to drop the gun emoji. So, starting in September a neon-green water-pistol will replace the black-and-silver revolver emoji, part of an iPhone and iPad iOS 10 update that features redesigns of several popular characters. More than 100 new or revamped characters are part of the update. New characters include a rainbow flag, single-parent families, and new female athletes. It’s already been decided to drop a rifle from a list of new candidates. (Guns don’t kill people … bullets do.)
– CNN Money

ARE WE HAPPY?
The Swedish government has decided to investigate the sex lives of its citizens in an attempt to get a more complete picture of the country’s sexual health. Sweden’s 31-year-old Health Minister, who’s an outspoken proponent of loud sex, says sex is an area that strongly influences people’s health and the study is in part a response to tabloid newspaper surveys suggesting Swedes are getting it less than they used to. The 3-year study by the Swedish Public Health Agency will investigate whether that is the case and, if so, what the reason is. It will span social, cultural, and biological aspects of sex. (Does a government have any business delving into the bedrooms of a nation?)
– DigitalJournal.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Australia is moving 7 cm (2.75 inches) northward every year. (Shouldn’t the airfare to get there be going down?)
– BBC News
• “Burn” is the most heavy metal word in the English language, whereas “particularly” is the least. (We haven’t spotted  “hifalutin” in any Godsmack songs either.)
– “New York Magazine”

BS CHRONOMETER 08.03.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [90] Tony Bennett (Bennedetto), Astoria NY, legendary pop/jazz singer (“I Left My Heart in San Francisco”)

1963 [53] James Hetfield, Downey CA, heavy metal singer/guitarist (Metallica-“The Day That Never Comes”, “St Anger”)

1970 [46] Stephen Carpenter, Sacramento CA, rock guitarist (The Deftones-“Diamond Eyes”, “Change”)

1976 [40] Jimmy De Martini, Atlanta GA, country violinist (Zac Brown Band-“Knee Deep”, “Chicken Fried”)

1977 [39] Tom Brady, San Mateo CA, NFL QB (New England Patriots)/4-time Super Bowl winner/3-time Super Bowl MVP/wed to model Gisele Bundchen since 2009

1979 [37] Evangeline Lilly, Fort Saskatchewan AB, movie actress (“Ant-Man”, “The Hurt Locker”)/TV actress (“Lost” 2004-10)

1985 [31] Brent Kutzle, Newport Beach CA, rock bassist (OneRepublic-“Wherever I Go”, “Apologize”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Maine Lobster Festival”, the 69th annual through Sunday in Rockland ME. Mmm, pass the butter!
NET: http://www.mainelobsterfestival.com

• “Watermelon Day”, celebrating the Summer treat that’s part of the pumpkin, squash, and gourd family. Watermelons originated in Africa, then spread to Egypt, India, China, and eventually around-the-world.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007 [09] “The Bourne Ultimatum”, 3rd film in the ‘Jason Bourne’ series starring Matt Damon, opens in theaters (the new “Jason Bourne” has grossed $110 million worldwide in its 1st week)

2008 [08] People.com publishes a 19-page photo-spread of Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins, Vivienne & Knox (a bidding war resulted in a $14 million pay-off, most ever for celeb baby pics)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1996 [20] “La Macarena” by Los Del Rio hits #1 on “Billboard” pop chart (and stays 14 weeks)

2007 [09] Queen guitarist Brian May hands in his astronomy PhD thesis 36 years after abandoning it to join the band (it covers ‘The Formation of Zodiacal Dust Clouds’ … zzz)

2015 [01] 61-year-old former AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd pleads not guilty to breaching conditions of his house arrest by drinking alcohol (somehow he gets off again)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1991 [25] Hazel Stout of Portland OR sets a world skydiving record for women by ‘hitting the silk’ … at age 88

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Chocolate Chip Day
[Fri] Olympic Games opening ceremony (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
[Sat] International Hangover Day
[Sat] Sand Castle Day
This Week Is … Simplify Your Life Week
This Month Is … Cataract Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

FUNNY FOREIGN ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS:
• In a cocktail lounge, Norway: “Ladies Are Requested Not to Have Children in the Bar”.
• At a Budapest zoo: “Please Do Not Feed the Animals. If You Have Any Suitable Food, Give it to the Guard on Duty.
• At a doctor’s office in Rome: “Specialist in Women and Other Diseases”.
• In a Nairobi, Kenya restaurant: “Customers Who Find Our Waitresses Rude Ought to See the Manager”.
• In a Mumbai, India restaurant: “Open Seven Days a Week, and Weekends Too”.
• In a Japanese hotel: “You Are Invited to Take Advantage of the Chambermaid”.
• In a Swiss hotel in Zurich: “Because of the Impropriety of Entertaining Guests of the Opposite Sex in the Bedroom, it Is Suggested That the Lobby Be Used for this Purpose”.
• Hong Kong dentist ad: “Teeth Extracted by the Latest Methodists”.
• Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: “Would You Like to Ride on Your Own Ass?”.
• In a Danish airline ticket office in Copenhagen: “We Take Your Bags and Send Them in All Directions”.
– Kappit.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What kind of old person do you want to become?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
How long can one sheep remember another sheep’s face?
a. 2 minutes.
b. 2 hours.
c. 2 years. [CORRECT. And we know this how?]
d. It can’t. They all look the same.
– “Harper’s”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m not myself today … maybe I’m you.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: There’s a 1-in-3 chance you’ll do THIS on your next vacation.
Answer: Forget to take something with you.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.