Friday, June 30, 2023 — Edition: #7507
The BS Press!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There’ll be no “BS” service for Monday July 3, to observe the Canada Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, July 4.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Vanna White is holding out for her own wheel of fortune. It was reported earlier this week that she has “lawyered up” in an effort to get a raise to continue her run on “Wheel of Fortune” when Ryan Seacrest takes over as host next year. Sources say that White is negotiating for the pay disparity between her and Sajak to be addressed. On the show, they are introduced this way: “Here are the stars of our show, Pat Sajak and Vanna White.” The problem? Their salaries are anything but equal. White makes $3 million a year, and hasn’t had a raise in 18 years. Sajak reportedly makes $15 million, and while White isn’t asking for that, sources say she’s demanding half of what Sajak makes.
★ Kevin Costner’s estranged wife, Christine Baumgartner, is willing to vacate the mansion she used to share with him, but on one condition. She has been holed up at the $145 million property — despite their prenup, which says she had 30 days to leave after she filed for divorce on May 1. After weeks of legal back and forth, Baumgartner now says she’ll will vacate if Costner coughs up more money to guarantee that she won’t be left penniless, says Radar Online. She wants the “Yellowstone” actor to agree to pay any support fees that the judge orders him to at a July 12 hearing in their divorce proceedings.
★ Meghan Markle may be striking out on her own. Following the end of her and Prince Harry’s podcast deal with Spotify, royal watcher Daniela Elser reports that the Duchess of Sussex is fielding numerous offers, and “It is looking increasingly like the duchess has traded their Sussex double act for her own one-woman show.” At news.com.au, Elser wrote: “Meghan — and only Meghan — has a new super agent and reportedly ‘offers have been pouring in’ for Meghan — and only Meghan.” She added, “It looks a lot like, for the first time, the couple are truly on divergent professional paths.”
★ It’s a full house! Chrissy Teigen and John Legend announced that they have welcomed their 4th child, a baby boy named Wren Alexander, via surrogate, 5 months after the arrival of baby girl, Esti. She wrote on Instagram: “For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted 4 children.” She went on to detail how she and Legend underwent IVF – and she became pregnant with Esti, whom the couple welcomed in January. While pregnant, the couple was overjoyed to learn their surrogate was also expecting. The baby was born June 19th. He is named after the surrogate, Alexandra.
★ A life-sized version of Barbie’s classic ‘DreamHouse’ will be available for overnight stays ahead of the release of the “Barbie” movie. The Malibu DreamHouse is listed on Airbnb for 2 one-night stays for up to 2 guests July 21 and July 22. The listing, supposedly written by ‘Ken’, describes the house as a “life-size toy pink mansion.” It reads: “Welcome to my Kendom! While Barbie is away, she has handed over the keys to her Malibu DreamHouse…and my room could be yours for the night.” The house boasts an outdoor disco dance floor, a swimming pool, and a wardrobe full of Barbie and Ken-style outfits. Booking starts July 17. Barbie arrives in theaters July 21.
★ We haven’t had a “bizarre behavior from Nicholas Cage” story for a while, but now there’s this: Minnie Driver claims he once paid for an airplane seat for his son’s imaginary friend. She told the story while trying to prove that Cage is not the mean-spirited person a fan tried to make him out to be in an Instagram post. She commented: “Was once on a plane with NC and his son — and a seat had also been purchased for his son’s imaginary friend. 🖤” It’s unclear which of Cage’s sons — Kal-El or Weston, that she was referring to .
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Octavia Spencer, Ramón Rodríguez, Reneé Rapp (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Cameron Diaz, Matt Smith, Sheryl Crow (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Neil deGrasse Tyson, Phil Rosenthal (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Johnny Knoxville, Jake Lacy, Pusha T (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Ellie Kemper, Deborah Roberts (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Eric McCormack, guest co-host Jamie Yuccas (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Josh Duhamel, Brianne Howey, Jordan Fisher
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): DJ Cassidy, Chance the Rapper, Angie Martinez (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Nate Berkus, Jeremiah Brent, Brandon Marshall, Brandice Daniel (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Ike Barinholtz, Zach Stafford, Sam Sanders, Saeed Jones (R)
• “90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days” (TLC): With bonus scenes; after 7 years, Meisha and Nicola meet; Christian and Cleo hope opposites attract; Razvan tests Amanda’s jealousy.
• “Gold Rush: Mine Rescue Pay Dirt” (DSC): A Nevada miner stages a last-ditch intervention to save his stubborn boss’s 30-year-old mine, and convert the rickety old plant into a new fine gold super sluice.
• “Brandi Carlile: In the Canyon Haze – Live From Laurel Canyon” (HBO): Carlile performs reimagined songs from her acclaimed album, “In These Silent Days,” from LA’s Laurel Canyon neighborhood.
• “USFL Football” (NBC): Championship: Pittsburgh Maulers vs. Birmingham Stallions from Tom Benson Hall of Fame Stadium in Canton, Ohio.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Pedro Pascal; musical guest Coldplay (R)
• “Tough as Nails” (CBS): Season 5 premiere. Competitors cut, grind and torch 500 pounds of scrap metal; the first to finish the job earn the privilege of choosing their teammates.
• “NASCAR Cup Series” (NBC): Drivers take to the streets of Chicago for the Grant Park 220.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Pink — at least it wasn’t human cremains this time. Another viral moment happened, this time when she accepted a large wheel of Brie cheese from a fan mid-concert in London. She was much more grateful with this present, mouthing the words “I love you”, to the fan in the middle of the song ‘Perfect’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/22nwhdpt
• Olivia Rodrigo – Tuesday, she dropped a visual sneak peak of her new single ‘Vampire’, which comes out today. In a YouTube Shorts teaser, she is seen through a camera monitor lying on a patch of grass, sporting a dark red lip shade as a pounding electric guitar snippet plays. She wrote: “so excited for Friday!!!” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2sntuurr
• Fall Out Boy – has released a cover of Billy Joel’s iconic single ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’, with new lyrics covering newsworthy items from 1989-2023. It mentions pop culture moments including Pokemon, Harry Potter, and Twilight, notable figures including Kurt Cobain, Kim Jong Un, and Robert Downey Jr., plus serious happenings, such as school shootings and Fukushima. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/22zjte6a
• Madonna — has been forced to postpone her upcoming tour after spending a few days in ICU. She was found unresponsive and rushed to a New York City hospital on Saturday. Her manager posted that she had “developed a serious bacterial infection.” The 64-year-old was intubated for at least one night, but is now said to be alert, and a full recovery is expected.
• Paul McCartney — joked that Bruce Springsteen has “ruined it for everyone”, because fans expect very long concerts. On Conan O’Brien’s podcast, he pointed out that in the 60s, The Beatles barely played for an hour, but “now people will do 3 or 4. I blame Bruce Springsteen – I’ve told him so.”
• Skid Row, Winger and Twisted Sister – members are featured in the new Paramount+ 3-part docuseries “I Wanna Rock: The ’80s Metal Dream”. It premieres July 18 in North America, and July 19 in the UK and Australia. It follows the groups “as they chased stardom in the cutthroat world of ’80s metal.”
• Lauren Alaina – will perform on an episode of ABC’s “The Bachelorette”. In an episode airing next month, she’ll sing a new, as yet-unreleased song for this season’s bachelorette, Charity Lawson, during an intimate one-on-one date.
• Russell Dickerson — has dropped his new summer EP “Three Months Two Streets Down”. Though he is credited as a writer on 4 of its 5 songs, Tyler Hubbard and Dan + Shay‘s Shay Mooney also contribute as writers. Russell quote: “I like how there’s a track on there for everyone – whether it’s one that makes you nostalgic or more of a feel-good song to blast in your car.”
• Miranda Lambert — For the third consecutive year, she has donated $250,000 to foster-based animal rescue shelters through her MuttNation Foundation. The non-profit is supplying one shelter in each state (plus Washington DC and a bonus “wildcard” location) each with a $5,000 grant. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/32n3j2t9
SHOOTING THE BULL
THIS WEEK’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): The daredevil archaeologist races against time to retrieve a legendary dial that can change the course of history. Accompanied by his goddaughter, he soon finds himself squaring off against a former Nazi who works for NASA. (Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Antonio Banderas) Tomatometer: 67%
• “Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken” (PG, Kids/Comedy, Animation): A shy adolescent learns that she comes from a fabled royal family of sea krakens — and that her destiny lies in the depths of the waters, and is bigger than she ever imagined. (Lana Condor, Toni Collette, Annie Murphy) Tomatometer: 67%
⇒ Ketchup. Does it go in the cupboard, or in the fridge? Heinz has finally set the record straight. Just in time for the Fourth of July Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, the official Heinz UK Twitter account posted: “FYI: Ketchup. goes. in. the. fridge!!!” Fans flooded the comments section, with many asking why the product is stored on shelves at stores and restaurants. Heinz then asked followers to vote on whether they keep their ketchup in the fridge or the cupboard. The result: After more than 2,500 votes, the answers were nearly split down the middle. (Sorry, I just can’t make a “Heinz-sight is 20/20” joke here. I haven’t mustard up the courage!)
⇒ Pepsi has announced its first infused condiment. Named “Colachup,” in honor of the Fourth of July, the sauce is meant to be the finishing touch on a hot dog. Starting with a Pepsi reduction, the topping is combined with things like smoked tomatoes, spices, plus onions and ketchup, to create the saucy delicacy. The limited-edition product features the “sweet, citrusy taste” of the carbonated drink, says the company. But online reaction has been underwhelming, with one commenter writing: ““I mean I like Pepsi… but not that much.” (I don’t think anyone could like Pepsi that much!)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ (***Caution – ‘Damn’***) A man accused of robbing a woman at gunpoint outside her Indianapolis home insisted she ‘friend’ him on Facebook…then asked her out – on Facebook. Amber Beraun says she was checking her mailbox when a man approached her, pulled out a gun and demanded to get inside her home. She declined to let the man, identified by police as Damien Boyce, into her home, instead handing him $100. Boyce then allegedly pointed the gun at her and demanded she add him on Facebook, according to court documents. She told a TV station: “I thought if maybe I added him on Facebook, he would leave, and he did.” Soon after, she began receiving messages from the alleged gunman, including one where he asked to meet up with her to “chill. One of the messages read, “Damn, you was too pretty to rob.” (Same reason I feel safe – wherever I go!)
➢ A California man who mistakenly donated $15,000 instead of $150 to a GoFundMe says his blunder turned out to be a blessing. ‘Michael’, posted the now-viral story to Reddit – with screenshots as evidence. After an encounter with a friendly neighbor about a hunger charity he heads in Bangladesh, he says he “wanted to support my neighbor and the charity,” and donated $150. Or so he thought. Moments later, he received a text, warning him “of an unusually large transaction on my credit card,” Michael wrote. He determined that due to a keystroke error, “150 became 15,041.” The good news? Before a refund could be processed, the man who runs the charity sent Michael pictures and videos of people thanking him for the donation, including video of a man surrounded by dozens of impoverished people holding bags of food. After he got a refund, Michael donated $1,500 to the charity. And even better – the story went viral, causing others to contribute, and the fundraiser’s target was exceeded by $10,000. (I just made a $1,500 donation to a hunger fundraiser this morning…I went grocery shopping with my teenagers!)
BS CANADIAN SLANG TERMS THAT CONFUSE OTHERS:
(Tomorrow is Canada Day…)
☞ Caesar – It’s not a salad. It’s a drink similar to the Bloody Mary, but better because it includes Clamato juice (rather than tomato juice), along with vodka, horseradish, Worcestershire and celery salt.
☞ KD – It’s short for Kraft dinner, the classic Mac & Cheese in a box.
☞ Hydro bill – While others call it their “electric bill”, Canadians pay hydro bills. It comes from where many Canadians’ power is created, hydroelectric generators.
☞ Toboggan – While most countries with snow go “sledding”, Canadians prefer “tobogganing”.
☞ Serviette — Why use a napkin when you can use something as fancy-sounding as a serviette?
☞ Pencil crayons – A distinctly Canadian term for colored pencils.
☞ Eavestroughs — Sounds a lot more extravagant than rain gutters, eh?
☞ Chocolate bar — Others call it a candy bar, but when you get right down to it, what is it made of…candy or chocolate?
☞ Stag — A bachelor party. The female equivalent: stagette.
☞ Humidex — The measurement used to gauge the combined effect of heat and humidity. (None of this “real feel” business for Canadians…)
☞ Gitch or Gotch — A very classy term for men’s underwear.
☞ Dinged — In the U.S., cars get dinged. In Canada, it’s our wallets, as in, “I got dinged 110 bucks for that speeding ticket.”
☞ Housecoat — The item of clothing that others refer to as a “bathrobe,” or (if they’re classy) a “dressing gown,” is known to Canadians by its true name: the “housecoat”.
☞ Gong show: To most, “Gong Show” is an intentionally awful TV talent show. For Canadians, the term “gong show” (sometimes shortened to “gonger”) is slang for anything that goes off the rails, a wild, crazy or just plain chaotic event. (Used in reference to politics more often than it should need to be!)
-MSN, first published in BS in 2019
DID YOU KNOW?
America’s fastest-growing sport, Pickleball, is taking a toll on players’ wrists, legs and shoulders. And on the health care system. UCB analysts say injuries sustained from playing the game will cost Americans $377 million in health care costs this year, about 10% of total unexpected medical costs. It’s estimated that there will be around 67,000 emergency room visits, 366,000 outpatient visits and 9,000 surgeries related to pickleball injuries this year. Around 60% of pickleball injuries are sprains, strains, and fractures. Twenty percent are contusions, abrasions, or internal injuries; and fewer than 10% are lacerations or dislocations. (So far, I’ve only injured my pride…and my spleen – don’t ask!)
BS CHRONOMETER 06.30.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Social Media Day”, to recognize and celebrate social media’s impact on global communication. While every day is essentially “Social Media Day”, today marks the 14th annual official celebration. (***A social media timeline that you can post on…wait for it…social media: https://nationaltoday.com/social-media-day / ***)
• “Food Truck Day”, a day to celebrate food trucks. It was started by a radio DJ (Go figure — probably as a way to get a free meal!). [Rick McNeely of the Fishbowl Radio Network in Arlington, Texas, in 2015]
• “Asteroid Day” (aka “Meteor Day”), an observance on the anniversary of the 1908 “Tunguska Event” in Russia, the largest impact on Earth in recorded history, which flattened an estimated 80 million trees, even though the asteroid or comet is believed to have burst in the air rather than hitting the surface.
• “National Organization For Women Day”, marking the date in 1966 that ‘NOW’ was founded in Washington DC by delegates at the National Conference of State Commissions on the Status of Women.
• “National OOTD Day, short for “National Outfit of the Day Day”, Today, you’re encouraged to develop your own personal style and celebrate what makes you feel good about yourself. (For [***Co-host***], this could also be called “National Whatever Outfit is on Top in His Dresser Drawer Day”!)
• “Drive Your Corvette to Work Day”, the annual event initiated by Mid America Motorworks. (I hope you don’t need to pick up groceries on the way home!)
• “Canada Day”, the annual celebration of Canada’s nationhood (1867), first established as a holiday in 1879. This year’s official national celebration from Ottawa’s LeBreton Flats Park and live from across the country will feature fireworks, and performances by Jann Arden, Madison Violet, Dax and others. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ake7x225
• “Early Bird Day”, a great day to get up bright and early . . . if you like worms for breakfast!
• “Blink-182 Day”, on the 182nd day of the year. The day began after bassist-vocalist Mark Hoppus put out a tweet, declaring it.
(***Caution – “fart”***) • “International Joke Day”, The oldest joke is thought to be a Sumerian proverb from as early as 2300 BC, which translates to: “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”
• “Halfway Point of the Year”, Today is the 183rd day of the year; 182 days remain in 2023. So, today is the first day of the second half of the year, as well as the midpoint, because there are 182 days before and 182 days after it. (An optimist would say “the year’s already half-over”, while a pessimist would say “another half-year to go…”)!
• “Freedom From Fear of Public Speaking Day”. They say speaking in public is our #1 fear, with death being #2. That means if you’re at a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than giving the eulogy!
• “I Forgot Day”, set aside to make up for all the birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions that you forgot to acknowledge over the past year. (What’s the lamest excuse you’ve heard?)
• “World UFO Day”, to celebrate the “existence” of UFOs and extra-terrestrial life. We are encouraged to gather and watch the skies for Unidentified Flying Objects. Or just watch UFO movies. (I’m pretty sure that’s what anyone who celebrates UFO day does on ANY day of the year…)
• “World Sports Journalists Day”, honoring those who report on sport, an essential element of any news media organization. Sports journalists from all over the world are united by the International Sports Press Association. (And are called the “Toy Department” by the news people!)
• “Special Recreation for the Disabled Day”, In many cases it doesn’t take a lot of time or money to make a business or facility to accessible to disabled people.!)
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959  Vincent D’Onofrio, NYC, movie actor (“Jurassic World”)/TV actor (“Law & Order: Criminal Intent” 2001-11)
1966  “Iron” Mike Tyson, Brooklyn NY, former pro boxer (world boxing champ 1987-90, the youngest ever)/sometime actor (“Entourage” TV series, “The Hangover” movies)/ex-con/cannabis entrepreneur (“Tyson Holistic”)
1972  Molly Parker, Maple Ridge BC, TV actress (‘Jackie Sharp’ on “House of Cards” 2014-16)
1977  Colton Dunn, Normal IL, TV actor (‘Garrett’ on “Superstore” 2015-21)
1982  Lizzy Caplan, LA CA, TV actress (‘Virginia Johnson’ on “Masters of Sex” 2013-16)/movie actress (“Now You See Me 2”, “Mean Girls”)
1983  James Adam Shelley, Boston MA, rock guitarist (American Authors-‘Best Day of My Life’, ‘Believer’)
1983  Cole Swindell, Glennville GA, country singer (‘Chillin’ It’, w/Lainey Wilson-‘Never Say Never’)/songwriter (singles for Thomas Rhett, Scotty McCreery, Luke Bryan)/2015 ACM New Artist of the Year)
1984  Fantasia Barrino, High Point NC, R&B singer (‘I Believe’)/reality TV star (“American Idol” winner, 2004)
1985  Michael Phelps, Baltimore MD, former competitive swimmer (most-decorated Olympian of all-time with 28 medals; a record 23 of them gold
SATURDAY- Debbie Harry (Blondie) is 78; Dan Aykroyd (“Blues Brothers”) is 71; Andre Braugher (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine”) is 61; Pamela Anderson (“Baywatch”) is 56; Missy Elliott (‘Work it’) is 52; Liv Tyler (“Armageddon”) is 46
SUNDAY- TV producer-director Larry David is 76; Roy Bittan (The E Street Band) is 74; model-actress Jerry Hall is 67; Michelle Branch (w/Santana-‘The Game of Love’) is 40; figure skater Johnny Weir is 39; Lindsay Lohan (“Mean Girls”) is 37; Margot Robbie (“Suicide Squad”) is 33
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006  Singer-TV personality Jessica Simpson divorces 98 Degrees singer Nick Lachey after 3 years of marriage. The had starred together in the reality series “Newlyweds”
2010  “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” opens in movie theaters
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2015  Apple launches its new streaming service, “Apple Music”
2019  Taylor Swift’s former label, Big Machine, is sold to Scooter Braun’s company for an estimated $300 million, giving him control of her back catalog and master recordings. In response, Swift announces plans to re-record all her old albums to devalue his purchase
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1953  GM workers assemble the first ‘Corvette’ sports car in Flint, Michigan. List price? US $3,498. Now? It starts at $65,895
1937  The world’s first emergency call telephone service is launched in London, using the number ‘999’
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Elvis Presley’s manager sold “I Hate Elvis” badges.
✓ Caffeine affects men more strongly than women, and women metabolize it about 25% faster.
✓ Clouds cover about 60 percent of Earth at any moment.
✓ Japanese ATMs sterilize cash before dispensing it.
✓ Apes make human laugh-like vocalizations when they are tickled.
✓ Canadians say “sorry” so much that The Apology Act was passed in 2009, declaring that an apology can’t be used as legal evidence of admission of guilt.
Best of BS . . .
BS WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR SPOUSE:
• Laugh at your phone for no reason.
• Clear the PVR.
• Save your Amazon boxes, then stack about 20 of them on your porch just before he arrives home.
• Do impressions during sex.
• Cupboards. Leave ’em open. You’re welcome.
• Pluck his nose hairs while he’s fast asleep.
• Serve breakfast in bed…to your neighbor’s wife.
• Look at her through a fork and pretend she’s in jail.
• Just stare at him.
–Twitter, first published in BS in 2020
BS FAKE CANADIAN HISTORY:
• At birth, Canadians are issued their own hockey card, rather than a birth certificate.
• Over 100 years ago, Canada decided “eh” would be the sound the question mark makes.
• A group of Canadians is called an “apology”.
• The NFL cancelled its Canadian expansion plans in 1973 when all 7 proposed cities demanded their team names would be ‘Roughriders’.
• Vancouver gets its name from the Squamish word for “unaffordable rents”.
• Newfoundland was bought and paid for with Canadian Tire money.
• The term “Double Double” is the Canadian version of ‘Aloha’, meaning both Hello & Goodbye.
• Neil Young wrote the national anthem, but they had to cut out the 10 minute guitar solo.
• On Canada Day, every citizen is required to apologize to 3 random strangers and offer them maple syrup as a token of friendship.
• Canadian Netflix has always had a great selection.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2017
BS WEB GOODIE:
Hope for humanity — restored (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/2a9za28n
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I have clean conscience. I haven’t used it once.
BS PHONE STARTER:
Holiday Friday or Holiday Monday: Which do you prefer, and why?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
Question: Surprisingly, a survey found that 60% of kids have never experienced this summertime delicacy. What is it?
Answer: Marshmallows toasted on a fire
Question: It is considered bad etiquette to eat THIS in more than 5 bites. What is it?
Answer: A hot dog
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.