Wednesday, June 21, 2023 — Edition: #7500
The Sheet Hits the Fans!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ So much for the “Duchess of Dior.” While it’s been recently reported that Meghan Markle “may be on the brink of signing a major deal with French couture house Dior to make her a face of the company,” apparently, it’s not happening. The duchess is hoping to ink a deal with a luxury brand at some point, says Page Six, and is eyeing Cartier in particular, but the jeweler’s close ties to the royal family could complicate things. A spokesperson for the Sussexes told a reporter that the Dior claims are untrue, adding that its team was “nonplussed as to how the story came about.”
★ Former “Daily Show” host Trevor Noah has made a deal with Spotify for a new original podcast to debut later this year. The podcast will feature Noah discussing current events and chatting with “some of the most influential and interesting figures around the world”, according to the streaming service. In a statement, Noah said: “We’ll engage in interesting and meaningful conversations with some of the world’s most fascinating people…We’ll also probably fix every single issue humankind has ever faced…” Noah’s new podcast will debut later this year.
★ ‘Ethan Hunt’ is back. Tom Cruise graced the red carpet in Rome Monday night for the star-studded “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One” premiere. Flanked by the movie’s ensemble cast, Cruise expressed his gratitude to the crowd for their support, stating: “It’s extraordinary to be in this stunning city of cinema.” Cruise showered his co-stars with praise, and pointed out the yellow Fiat 500 prominently displayed at the foot of the red-carpeted steps, teasing its pivotal role in a car chase sequence. He also joked that the next “Mission: Impossible” film will be a musical. “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One” bursts into theatres July 12.
★ John Goodman has stuck to the goals he set for himself 16 years ago. The “Conners” star flaunted his 200-pound weight loss at the Monte-Carlo Television Festival in Monaco. The 70-year-old looked dapper in a fitted navy blue suit jacket. Goodman, who served as the jury president at the festival, began his physical transformation in 2007 when his weight hit 400 pounds.
★ One man, two streaming successes. Arnold Schwarzenegger single-handedly comprised 20% of the most-watched movies and TV series (in the US) from the past week across both streaming and linear television. Not only is the “Terminator” star behind Netflix’s hit series “Fubar,” which scored the #2 spot, The Arnold is also the subject of a new revealing 3-part docuseries on the streaming platform, which came in at #4 after debuting June 7. At the top of the charts this week is “Avatar: The Way of Water”.
★ The Recording Academy has updated its rules surrounding Grammy Awards eligibility for music created using artificial intelligence. The new rules explicitly state that “Only human creators are eligible to be submitted for, consideration for, nominated for, or win a Grammy Award.” That said, music authored by a human and augmented with generative AI elements is permitted, so long as the human’s contribution to a work is “meaningful”.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dave Bautista, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Bryan Adams (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Michelle Williams, Phil Keoghan, Dierks Bentley (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): The Jonas Brothers, Aidy Bryant, Rep. Eric Swalwell (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Heather Dubrow, Isaac Mizrahi
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Matthew Broderick
• “The Talk” (CBS): Alex Borstein, guest co-host Jamie Yuccas (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Danai Gurira, Linda Cardellini, Louis Tomlinson
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Bryan Cranston, Rita Wilson, Katie Chin (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): John Stamos, Abbi Jacobson, Danny DeVito (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Samuel L. Jackson (R)
• “LA Fire & Rescue” (NBC): Premiere. First responders of the LA County Fire Department perform a rescue on Sunset Boulevard, tackle a brush fire, and respond to a collision at a busy city gas station.
• “The Stroll” (HBO): The history of New York’s Meatpacking District from the perspective of transgender sex workers who lived and worked there. They recount the circumstances that led to a movement for transgender rights.
• “Holmes Family Rescue” (HGTV): The Holmes team gathers to talk about their electrician friend, Frank, who’s overwhelmed with his renovation due to health issues; the design choices and finishes at a client’s bungalow leaves Mike having a crisis of color.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bebe Rexha – Monday, she shared selfies showing stitches over her eye, with the caption: “I’m good”. She fell to the floor after being hit in the face with a cellphone during her gig in New York on Sunday. She was immediately taken to hospital. The alleged assailant has been charged. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3cdu9ccu
• Adele – revealed to fans at her Las Vegas residency that she has developed a nasty fungal skin infection. She declared from the stage that she’d recently been diagnosed with a case “jock itch”, a result of wearing Spanx under her clothing, in combination with the hot lights. Quote: So, it looks like I am an athlete basically…I don’t know why the (heck) I just told you that!”
• Cyndi Lauper – isn’t bothered by the fact that she was passed over for induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. She was nominated in 2023, but not selected. She told People: “I don’t need a badge. I need to be able to continue the work and help to make a difference… You have to remember to be human and help other humans.”
• Foo Fighters – brought Paramore frontwoman Hayley Williams onstage to deliver guest vocals on their song ‘My Hero’ during their Sunday show at Bonnaroo Festival in Tennessee. In 2006, her band recorded and released their own version for the film “Superman Returns”. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2mwmu2y5
• Def Leppard – guitarist Phil Collen has no plans to retire from touring. The 65-year-old was asked the question in an interview, and said: “Not when I feel like this…I work out every day. I’m a vegan. I haven’t drunk for 36 years. So all of those things really help.” He pointed to Mick Jagger (80 next month) as an inspiration.
• Cole Swindell – With ‘Drinkaby’ in the top-20, ABC had to ask: “What is a ‘Drinkaby’?” First, he said he doesn’t really know, but “I just knew when I saw the title, I was like…‘Oh, like a lullaby, but a drinkaby.’” His first instinct was: “That’s got to be a HARDY title or something.” He was correct, as HARDY did co-write the song. Swindell uses it as his concert opener.
• Luke Bryan – staged a tear-jerking reunion at his Darien Center NY show. He summoned “Shannon” to the stage, and told the crowd that her husband “has been fighting overseas for a couple of years and I want to get her to help me.” He then led the crowd in a chorus of ‘Country On’, before Shannon’s husband appeared, to her surprise. The couple then embraced as both broke into tears.
• Tracy Lawrence — With Jo Dee Messina’s ‘Heads Carolina, Tails California’ resurfacing, thanks to a revamped hit from Cole Swindell, and Willie Nelson’s ‘On the Road Again’ getting a re-working with Jake Owen’s ‘On the Boat Again’, he was asked which of his songs is ripe for a re-do. Quote: “I don’t know who it would be [to sing it], but…(1996’s) ‘Time Marches On’ would be a great song to remake.”
SHOOTING THE BULL
The secret to eternal youth might be…death. Someone else’s death, that is. Some dermatologists are offering a product called Renuva, made from human cadaver tissue, instead of synthetic fillers or using a customer’s own fat to add volume in their face. Renuva is said to last longer, and “it keeps getting better” with each treatment, according to one proponent. Yes, it is made from cadaver tissue, but those using it don’t seem to mind. One said: “I see it as equivalent to a medical transplant.” Cosmetic dermatologist Dr. Paul Jarrod Frank says Renuva is an “off-the-shelf injectable, like any other filler, that does not require surgery.” It can also be used to fill in dimples or unevenness on the body, such as after surgery.
(This is not what Grandma meant when, on her death bed, she’d always be a part of me!)
(Well, it’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a corpse that “keeps getting better” over time!)
IT’S A DEAL:
⇒ One in 5 shoppers admit they’re “too lazy” to hunt around for the best deals, which could be costing them a small fortune. A survey of 2,000 adults in the UK found 19% will book the first vacation that pops up in a search if it looks half-decent, rather than shopping around for the best price. Meanwhile, 37% say they complain about the price of things like utilities, but do nothing about it. The top excuses for not making a change to save money include “it’s boring,” “it’s confusing,” and “I don’t believe the effort is worth the reward.” For those thrifty people who do spend time shopping around, they believe they save about $261 per year, on average. (I save that much in a year simply by waiting for bacon to go on sale!)
⇒ Do 8-year-olds pay attention to the price of their favorite candy at the store? Researchers from the University of Bonn have found that some elementary school students actually do. But it also turns out that if their favorite treat costs a bit more, they’re willing to pay the extra cash to get what they want. Of course, there are also some that don’t have the cognitive skills to factor in pricing at all. The researchers wrote: “The results allow conclusions to be drawn about how well children can evaluate numbers. Those who have lower skills in this regard are probably less able to assess prices.” (This goes a long way in explaining why I paid $30,000 for a 1981 Dodge Omni last week…)
GOOD BAD DAD JOKES:
The best-ever Dad-jokes have been compiled after a Father’s Day poll asked Americans to help identify the top-20 cheesy gags that dads dish out. 2,000 adults voted this one to be the most popular: “This graveyard looks crowded—people must be dying to get in”. Here are the rest of the top-10, in order…
2. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down”.
3. Q: “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” A: “I don’t think they’ll fit me”.
4. “I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.”
5. Q: “Can you put the dog out?” A: “I didn’t know it was on fire”.
6. Q: “What car does Jesus drive?” A: “A Chrysler”.
7. (When putting the car into reverse): “Ah, this takes me back”.
8. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y”.
9. Q: “What do you call a magician who lost their magic?” A: “Ian”.
10. Q: “How do I look?” A: “With your eyes”.
(Nothing about the “seafood diet”? Or an illegally-parked frog being ‘toad’ away? What’s wrong with these people?)
(What? These jokes are considered ‘corny”? Sorry…I’m a dad!)
HOW TO KEEP YOUR BED COOL THIS SUMMER:
✓ Keep things cool in the day: During morning and evening, open windows to let air flow through. In afternoon, (or before you leave for work), close the windows and pull down the blinds to keep the cool air in and the hot sun out. (I’m guessing this is an “I don’t have A/C” scenario…)
✓ Make a ‘Swamp Cooler’: Spray a sheet with cold water and hang it in front of an open window. Pick a window that has a breeze coming in.
✓ Create another: Put a bowl of ice in front of a fan. (During a heat wave, I’m betting that my ice cubes will already have been spoken for!)
✓ Cool you instead of your home: If you can’t cool your home down, cool your body down with a cold shower right before bed. It can lower your body temperature enough for you to fall asleep comfortably.
✓ Go all Willie Nelson: If all else fails, wet a bandana in cold water, wring it out, fold it into a rectangle, and drape it over your neck. Having something cool close to your major blood vessels will help cool your whole body. (And your spouse will be SO impressed when you come to bed wearing a bandana. Just a bandana…)
✓ The big fan: If you have a ceiling fan, make sure you’ve switched it to its “summer” setting — counter-clockwise.
✓ Hydrate: Drink a glass of cool, refreshing water. Even though you may have to get up in the middle of the night to ‘unhydrate’, it’s way better than waking up all warm, headachy and dehydrated.
(Also, ditch the flannel Pjs for a while!)
-Lifehacker, first published in BS in 2020
SONGS OF THE SUMMER – THE PAST 10 YEARS:
2013: ‘Blurred Lines’ – Robin Thicke ft. T.I. and Pharrell
2014: ‘Fancy’ – Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
2015: ‘Cheerleader’ – OMI
2016: ‘One Dance’ – Drake ft. WizKid and Kyla
2017: ‘Despacito (Remix)’ – Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber
2018: ‘In My Feelings’ – Drake
2019: ‘Old Town Road’ – Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
2020: ‘Rockstar’ – DaBaby ft. Roddy Ricch
2021: ‘Good 4 U’ – Olivia Rodrigo
2022: ‘As it Was’ – Harry Styles
• The complete list back to 1975: https://tinyurl.com/37c5zmty
(What’s your best bet for 2023? Taylor Swift – ‘Cruel Summer’? Morgan Wallen – ‘Last Night’? Lola Brooke – ‘Just Relax’? Miley Cyrus – ‘Rose Colored Lenses’?)
DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers say they are close to being able to grow decaffeinated coffee beans. A Brazilian coffee research institute has started a decisive stage in a 2-decade project to develop arabica coffee varieties that are naturally decaffeinated, something they feel could have significant commercial potential. They believe there’s a market niche among consumers who would prefer caffeine-free beans to current decaffeinated brands that are the result of chemical or industrial processes. Companies selling decaffeinated coffee could benefit with reduced costs, since they could skip the processes to remove caffeine from regular coffee varieties.
(Fine…as long as I can add a spoonful of caffeine, along with cream and sugar!)
BS CHRONOMETER 06.21.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “First Day of Summer”, in the Northern Hemisphere. Also known as Summer Solstice, it is observed when the Sun reaches its northernmost point in the sky, making it the day with the longest period of light. Summer arrives this morning at 10:58am EDT. (It’s gonna be a loooooong day!) FUN FACTS:
➢ The word ‘solstice’ comes from the Latin words “sun” and “stoppage.” Makes sense: the sun stops moving north that day. (Sounds scary, though…)
➢ The solstice is also when those in the northern hemisphere see the highest sun of the year. But it’s getting lower over time. That’s because Earth’s tilt is slowly decreasing.
➢ The solstice is when the sun is lowest in the sky for those at the equator.
➢ Today, the sun rises farthest left on the horizon, and sets at its rightmost possible spot. Sunlight strikes places in your rooms that get illuminated at no other time. (Should’ve dusted!)
➢ Most importantly: “It’s the start of Summer!” (Or, Winter, if you live below the equator)
• “Go Skateboarding Day”, an unofficial annual holiday conceived by the International Association of Skateboard Companies to promote boarding. (BYOBandaids)
• “International Day of Yoga”, first declared by the UN in 2015 to recognize the importance of yoga as a physical, mental, and/or spiritual practice. (And to some, a great spectator sport!)
• “Peaches & Cream Day”, not the complexion nor the corn variety, but the real deal. You won’t find a better Summer treat than fresh-sliced peaches covered with real cream.
• “Selfie Day”, encouraging the world to take selfies and post them online. (Is it Kim Kardashian’s birthday or something?)
• “World Handshake Day”, the goal is “the global connection of all people and the symbolic transfer of love, gratitude, and positive energy to mother earth and all its living beings.” (My goal is to get through this without everyone knowing how sweaty my palms are…)
• World Giraffe Day”, The world’s tallest animal is celebrated today, on the longest day or night (depending on the hemisphere) of the year. World Giraffe Day also raises support, creates awareness, and sheds light on the challenges that wild giraffes face.
• “Atheist Solidarity Day”, a day of awareness, when atheists are encouraged to be open about their lack of belief in God and not fear harmful consequences.
• “World Peace and Prayer Day”, on the summer solstice, encouraging people of all faiths and nations to pray for the planet. It’s also a day to learn more about Mother Earth and to inspire youth to care for the environment.
• “World Music Day”, honoring amateur and professional musicians alike. The primary aim is to provide free music to everyone, and to encourage amateur musicians to showcase their work to the world. (Unless they play the accordion…)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Chocolate Éclair Day
[Thurs] World Rainforest Day
[Fri] Typewriter Day
[Sat] Smurfs Day
This Week is…Play Catch Week
This Month is…Burglary Prevention Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944  Ray Davies, London England, rock singer-guitarist (The Kinks-‘Lola’, ‘You Really Got Me’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1990
1950  Joey Kramer, NYC, rock drummer (Aerosmith-‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’, ‘Dream On’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2001
1951  Nils Lofgren, Chicago IL, rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Neil Young & Crazy Horse)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (with the E Street Band), 2014
1973  Juliette Lewis, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (‘Audrey’ in “Christmas Vacation”, “Natural Born Killers”, “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”)/TV actress (“Yellowjackets” since 2021) COMING UP…”The Thicket”, 2023
1979  Chris Pratt, Virginia MN, movie actor (“Jurassic World” films, “Guardians of the Galaxy” films)/TV actor (“Parks & Recreation” 2009-15) COMING UP…”The Electric State”, 2024
1981  Brandon Flowers, Henderson NV, rock singer-keyboardist (The Killers-‘Somebody Told Me’, ‘Mr. Brightside’)
1982  Prince William (William Arthur Philip Louis Windsor), London England, British royal (Duke of Cambridge)/eldest son of Prince Charles & the late Princess Diana/married to Kate Middleton (Duchess of Cambridge) since 2011/first in line to the British throne
1982  Jussie Smollett, Santa Rosa CA, TV actor (‘Jamal’ on “Empire” 2015-19)/convicted of 5 counts of disorderly conduct for staging a fake hate crime against himself, and making false police reports. Currently released on bond while his case is on appeal.
1985  Lana Del Rey (Elizabeth Grant), NYC, pop singer-songwriter (w/Ariana Grande & Miley Cyrus-‘Don’t Call Me Angel’, ‘Summertime Sadness’)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003  “Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix” (the 5th book in the series) is published, and grosses more in one day than the heavily-hyped movie opening of “Hulk”, an unprecedented feat in publishing
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2015  Apple Music reverses its policy, agreeing to pay artists for music streamed during trial periods, a day after Taylor Swift threatens to ban her latest album “1989″ from the service
2020  Kurt Cobain’s guitar used during Nirvana’s “MTV Unplugged” show sells for a record $6 million
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2004  The “SpaceShipOne” rocket punches through Earth’s atmosphere, then returns to glide to a landing on California’s Mojave Desert in the first privately-financed manned spaceflight
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2000  The ‘World’s Longest Bench’ is unveiled at a flower show in Japan, measuring 1,832 feet (558m) and seating 900 people (world’s largest collection of chewing gum wads is soon found underneath)
2015  Golfer Jordan Spieth wins the US Open golf championship at age 21, making him the youngest to win since Bobby Jones, over 90 years earlier
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The first day of summer (in the Northern Hemisphere) is always between June 20th and June 22nd. It varies due to the Earth’s rotation not exactly reflecting our calendar year.
✓ China has only one time zone.
✓ The first stroller, invented in 1733, was engineered to be pulled by a goat.
✓ The original recipe for chocolate contained chili powder instead of sugar.
✓ Adult cats are lactose intolerant.
✓ Humans are scientifically proven to be happier in the summer.
Best of BS . . .
Summer officially arrived this morning at 10:58am EDT. Here are the . . .
BS SIGNS SUMMER HAS ARRIVED:
• Idiots switch from asking “Cold enough for ya?” to “Hot enough for ya?”.
• Your friends with the pool have stopped answering texts.
• Bags of turtlenecks being dropped off at the Goodwill.
• Best tee-time available: 9 pm – a week from Tuesday.
• You never see any teenagers before noon.
• Walmart and Target have put out their Halloween decorations.
• Just a couple weeks till hockey training camps begin.
-First published in BS in 2004
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Summer officially arrives today! (You can tell too . . . kids everywhere are playing baseball, football, and basketball. . . . on their iPads.
➠ The song ‘Summertime’, by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince, has become an anthem for summer and it still makes the duo a ton of cash. (I’ll let you figure out who needs the money more!)
➠ A study suggests that 80% of people keep their feelings to themselves — because they believe it’s hard for others to understand their pain. (The other 20% are on Facebook.)
➠ The maker of Pyrex kitchenware and the Instant Pot pressure cooker has filed for bankruptcy protection. (In other words, their business plan didn’t “pan-out”. Hands off!!! I know where the door is…)
➠ Rebecca Black, Lana Del Rey and Kris Allen all celebrate birthdays today. (Or as it shall forevermore be known: “The REAL day the music died”.)
BS RANDOM JOKES:
• It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.
• My friends couldn’t afford their water bill — so I sent them a “get well” card.
(Give contestant the clues, they tell you what all 3 have in common…)
• Straight, Acute, Obtuse
Answer: They are all angles
• Owl, Piglet, Tigger
Answer: They are all “Winnie the Pooh” characters
• Frames, Quarters, Sets
Answer: Sections of time in different sports
BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s on your “summer bucket list”?
• What’s your favorite line from a movie?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Among couples who take a road trip this summer, almost 30% will argue about THIS. What is it?
Answer: How to load the car
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shadows.