February 14, 2012 INTL

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Tuesday, February 14, 2012        Edition: #4690
Happy Valentines Day, For Sheet’s Sake!

We’re on hiatus February 16-23 inclusive. Subscribers will receive account credits for missed service.

Acerbic TV personality Simon Cowell has shown a softer side by lending his private jet to a “Britain’s Got Talent” crew member to fly home from Scotland when his wife unexpectedly went into labor early (which he was then promptly encouraged to leak) . . . OKmagazine.com is reporting that Justin Theroux helped his actress-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston celebrate her 43rd birthday by throwing a lavish, star-studded rooftop party at the Chateau Marmont hotel in Los Angeles (which she no doubt paid for) . . . Media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s reputation is being marred by yet another scandal as 5 senior journalists at his tabloid “The Sun” have been arrested on suspicion of corruption for bribing officials, including a Ministry of Defence civil servant, a member of the military, and a cop (fortunately, 80-year-old Murdoch still has the strength to throw staffers under the bus) . . . As Halle Berry continues her custody battle with former partner Gabriel Aubry, TMZ.com claims their 3-year-old daughter Nahla has told the Department of Children & Family Services that she’s frightened of her dad (this is getting so ugly, it’s likely to permanently taint Berry’s career) . . . And “Sparkle”, the movie touted as Whitney Houston’s acting comeback, will be out earlier than the original August release date according to a studio insider, because ‘she gives a remarkable performance her fans will want to see’ (BS translation: We’re going to capitalize on all the publicity before it’s too late).


• Berlin Film Festival (Germany) – Tonight 62-year-old actress Meryl Streep receives an honorary ‘Golden Bear Award’ in recognition of career achievement at the screening of her latest film “The Iron Lady”.
• “Conan” (TBS) – RZA (Wu-Tang Clan).
• “Cougar Town” (ABC) – Ian Gomez, Christa Miller, and Courteney Cox return in the 3rd season premiere, entitled “Ain’t Love Strange”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – Robin Thicke (“Love After War”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Bear Hands (“High Society”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Joss Stone w/Dave Stewart (“LP 1”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC) – Jake Owen (“Barefoot Blue Jean Night”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Erykah Badu (“New Amerykah Part 2: Return Of the Ankh”) w/the Dap-Kings & Zigaboo Modeliste (“Funk Me Hard Live”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated) – Christina Perri (“lovestrong”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – The Cranberries (“Roses”, out February 28th).

• Adele – Word has it she’s given £1,000 to every single staff member at her record label XL, including cleaners and canteen workers, to thank them for the phenomenal success of her album “21”. (Just one more reason to like her.)
• Beyoncé – “NY Daily News” reports she & hubby Jay-Z turned down a $14-million offer ‘from a glossy magazine’ for the first photos of their daughter Blue Ivy and instead uploaded them for free on Tumblr. A related report suggests Jay-Z has moved to trademark his daughter’s name.
• Drake – Tonight his 18-city “Club Paradise Tour” gets underway in Miami, Florida. The North American leg is expected to be followed by a string of additional dates in Europe.
• Gavin Degraw – His pal Ryan Tedder (OneRepublic) tells “Hollywood Reporter” that DeGraw is set to compete on the next season of “Dancing With the Stars”, but so far there’s no word on whether he’s officially inked to appear on the show.
• Paul McCartney – He’s seemingly everywhere lately. Now he’s agreed to a walk-on role in an upcoming episode of “Mad Men” (AMC). The series’ 5th season finally debuts on March 25th.
• Shakira – Today she releases the charity single “Love & Rock”, a duet with Miley Cyrus whose proceeds will benefit  children with severe heart problems.
• Whitney Houston – ABC News reports that Bobby Brown left his reunion tour with New Edition to fly to LA and support his 18-year-old distraught daughter Bobbi Kristina, who was reportedly hospitalized twice within 12 hours following her mother’s death.

• “The Rum Diary” ( R-Rated Mystery Thriller ) – Johnny Depp plays a 1950s-era journalist who takes a freelance job in Puerto Rico, where he struggles to find a balance between island culture and the expats who live there. Based on the Hunter S Thompson novel.
• “Take Shelter” ( R-Rated Psychological Thriller ) – A man begins to obsessively build a storm shelter in his backyard after experiencing terrifying dreams. His inexplicable behavior concerns his family and causes tension in his community. Stars Michael Shannon, Jessica Chastain.
• Also released today: “Beavis & Butt-Head: Volume 4” (Animated Comedy); “Elevate” (Documentary); “Family Matters: The Complete 2nd Season” (Classic TV); “How to Die in Oregon” (Documentary); “Under the Boardwalk: The Monopoly Story” (Documentary); “Urbanized” (Documentary); and “Woody Allen: A Documentary” (Documentary). (Our favorite release of the week is the 2010 thriller “Nude Nuns With Big Guns”, total crap but a great title!)


“This Means War” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): A special Valentines screening in select theaters. A pair of CIA operatives wage an epic battle against one another after they discover they’re dating the same woman. Stars Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Tom Hardy. Opens wide Friday.
NET: http://www.thismeanswarmovie.com

Ever buy those little candy hearts with the romantic sayings on them? Each year’s batch of ‘Sweethearts Conversation Hearts’ introduces 10 new sayings. Some of the latest are: ‘Melt My Heart’, ‘In a Fog’, and ‘Chill Out’. About 100,000 lbs (45,000 kg) of ‘Conversation Hearts’ are produced every day from late February through mid-January of the following year in order to stockpile enough for Valentines Day, the product’s biggest sales season.
– Necco.com

Tracks most listened to after ending a relationship, according to a new Facebook poll …
5. “Take Care” by Drake.
4. “Rolling In the Deep” by Adele.
3. “All Of the Lights” by Kanye West.
2. “Crew Love” by Drake.
1. “The Cave” by Mumford & Sons.
– ContactMusic.com


According to a Valentines survey by Yahoo’s OMG! website, a lot of men would rather be single than take Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi out on Valentines Day. And newly-single Kim Kardashian didn’t do much better, ranking 2nd in the ‘Nightmare Celebrity Date’ poll.  As for women’s choice of bad Valentines, Charlie Sheen came out on top (bottom?), followed by “Jersey Shore’s” Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino. No surprises when it comes to ‘Dream Celebrity Dates’ for Valentines: George Clooney and Jennifer Aniston remain tops.
– Reuters.com


A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 53% of women say they’d break up with a guy who didn’t give them a Valentines Day card.
• 42% of fresh flowers purchased for Valentines Day are red roses.
• 39% of Valentines participants say they intend to celebrate by having sex.
• 31% of us have broken up more than once with the same person.
• 27% of Valentines celebrants plan to have champagne.
• 11% of Valentines Day diners plan to split the bill.

Of people who’ll celebrate Valentines Day, 17.2% also intend to splash out on something for their pets … to the tune of $367 million.
– National Retail Federation


1942 [70] Michael Bloomberg, Boston MA, NYC mayor since 2002, elected an unprecedented 3 terms/media mogul (Bloomberg News)/estimated net worth of $19.5 billion, making him USA’s  12th-richest

1948 [64] (Raymond) Teller, Philadelphia PA, Las Vegas magician (the shorter, less obnoxious one from Penn & Teller) who has legally reduced his name to one word

1970 [42] Simon Pegg (Beckingham), Brockworth UK, movie actor (“Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol”, “The Adventures of Tintin”)

1972 [40] Rob Thomas, Landstuhl Military Base, Germany, pop singer (“Lonely No More”, 3 Grammy Awards w/Santana-“Smooth”, Matchbox 20-“Push”, “3 AM”)

• “Call In Single Day”, when those not celebrating Valentines are encouraged to take a day off work and set aside some time for themselves. After all, nobody can love you like you. Similarly, it’s “International Quirky Alone Day”, a reminder to value yourself, develop your individuality, and celebrate the possibilities available to single people today.
NET: http://www.quirkyalone.net/qa/iqd.php

• “Donor Day”, the 14th annual observance encouraging us to fill out an organ & tissue donation card and also to donate blood. You could save a life! How appropriate that it’s on the day when we give hearts.

• “Extraterrestrial Culture Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Tuesday of February as a day to honor all past, present, and future extraterrestrial visitors. It’s an official memorial (not a law) in New Mexico, that acknowledges the state has been recognized worldwide as a nexus of sightings and unexplained mysteries ever since the ‘Roswell UFO Incident’ of 1947.

• “Ferris Wheel Day”, celebrating the 1859 birth of George Washington Gale Ferris, the Galesburg IL engineer who invented the ‘Ferris wheel’ for the 1893 “Chicago World’s Exposition”. The original wheel measured 250 feet in diameter and could hold 1,440 people.

• “Have-A-Heart Day”, when vegetarians encourage you to quit eating animals. (So go kill a carrot today!)

• “International Read to Your Child Day”. It’s an investment in the kid’s future! (“You want to hear ‘Zits’, ‘Sherman’s Lagoon’ or ‘Adam @ Home’?”)

• “Pet Theft Awareness Day”, promoting awareness of the need for pet protection in public places. (Go ahead … just try and steal my pitbull!)
NET: http://bit.ly/eGmgAE

• “Valentines Day”, the most widely celebrated unofficial holiday. A few interesting facts …
– The Catholic Church recognizes at least 3 different saints named Valentine, all of whom were martyred, one for performing secret weddings for young lovers.
– Pope Gelasius declared February 14th “St Valentine’s Day” around 498 AD, in part to replace the ancient Roman fertility festival “Lupercalia”.
– About 1 billion Valentine cards are exchanged, making it the 3rd largest card-sending occasion after Christmas and Fathers Day. It’s also the 4th-biggest flower-selling occasion.
– Teachers receive the most Valentines Day cards, followed by school children, mothers, wives, and then … sweethearts. More on the history of the observance here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/yu7p6m


1992 [20] “Wayne’s World”, starring Mike Myers & Dana Carvey as ‘Wayne & Garth’, opens in movie theaters (“Party time!!! Excellent!!!”)

1984 [28] Elton John marries Renata Blauel in Sydney, Australia (the next day he’s nominated for a ‘Best Actor’ Oscar)

1996 [16] Prince weds Mayte Garcia in a Valentines Day ceremony in Minneapolis MN (what’s her new last name?)

2006 [06] Willie Nelson releases the song “Cowboys are Secretly, Frequently (Fond of Each Other)” on Valentines Day


1977 [35] The B-52’s play their 1st-ever gig at a Valentines Day party in Athens, Georgia (their hit “Love Shack” is featured on tonight’s episode of “Glee”)

2000 [12] After keeping his remains in a cardboard box for years, Blessed John Duns Scotus Church in Glasgow, Scotland puts the bones of St Valentine on display (other European churches also claim to have Valentine relics … they should get together and build a complete saint!)


1415 [597] ‘Oldest Known Valentine’ is sent by the Duke of Orleans to his French wife while he’s imprisoned in the Tower of London; it’s still on display at the British Museum (simply reads: “Missed you at the last conjugal visit … WTF?”)

[Wed] Gum Drop Day
[Thurs] Innovation Day
[Fri] “Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance”; “The Secret World of Arrietty”; “Undefeated” open in theaters
[Fri] PTA Founders Day
[Fri] World Human Spirit Day
This Week Is … Celebration of Love Week
This Month Is … Cat Health Month


• “Wait, Valentines Day is in February this year?”
• “Todd, meet Aaron … he’s going to be joining us this evening.”
• “I gave you the wrong necklace, honey … that one’s for my girlfriend.”
• “OK, I’m in for the hanky, but there’ll be no panky!”
• “I picked out these flowers especially for you … at the cemetery.”
• “You’re not a cop, are you?”
• “Table for one?”


I’m writing down all the noises our new baby makes so later I can ask her what she meant.


☎  Which performers should never be allowed to talk to the media because when they do, they sound like complete idiots?


• Which herb was an early symbol of Valentines Day?
a. Parsley.
b. Bay leaves. [CORRECT. Try giving a bouquet to your Valentine & see what happens.]
c. Garlic.
– Novareinna.com

• In the 18th century tradition of sending flowers as messages, what did sending a rose signify?
a. “You have a secret admirer.”
b. “I love you passionately.” [CORRECT]
c. “I did your sister … sorry.”
– Floral Industry Association


Question: Women are twice as likely as men to do THIS for Valentines Day.
Answer: Book a motel room.


Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

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