Friday, May 3, 2019        Edition: #6444

Sheet For Brains!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

★ “Game of Thrones” star Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas have tied the knot in a surprise ceremony. Hours after appearing together at the Billboard Music Awards, where the singer and his brothers performed, the couple appeared to have gone to a local chapel where an Elvis impersonator officiated the services.
-Yahoo
★ “Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek is dealing with both the physical and mental aspects of cancer. Trebek guested on Good Morning America to give fans an update on his condition for the first time since announcing he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Trebek said he has been experiencing “surges that come on suddenly of deep, deep sadness” that bring tears to his eyes. He painted a positive picture about his outlook, saying that he is “fighting through it.” Trebek says that his blood counts and weight are steady and “The cancer indicators are coming down.”
-TheBlast
★ Marie Osmond is joining “The Talk” — replacing Sara Gilbert, but not without a little controversy. Osmond has guest-hosted on the show before, and whenever she was on, the ratings spiked. That said, reportedly, there’s a little grumbling with a few of the other hosts. Insiders are speculating that they feel a better replacement for Gilbert would have been someone younger and edgier than the 59-year-old singer. An official announcement is expected on Tuesday.
-TMZ
★ Meghan Markle isn’t going to double tap on Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Instagram content anytime soon. Markle and Prince Harry’s official Instagram account, Sussex Royal, has unfollowed Kensington Royal, the account of their brother and sister-in-law. However, it appears William and Kate’s account is still following Meghan and Harry’s.
-PageSix
★ If you’re still looking for someone to tell you how to get…how to get to “Sesame Street”, we’re pretty sure that your GPS will get you there these days.  As part of the show’s 50th anniversary celebration, the intersection of West 63rd Street and Broadway in Manhattan, where the show’s offices are located, has been permanently renamed “Sesame Street” At Wednesday’s official ceremony, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio was joined by Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Elmo and more of their friends to commemorate the event, which is part of the educational show’s year-long celebration.
-NBC

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Craig Ferguson, Ronda Rousey
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Mark Hamill, Ashley Longshore (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kate Beckinsale, Milo Ventimiglia, Better Oblivion Community Center (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Diane Sawyer, Rebel Wilson, chef Aarón Sanchez
• “The Talk” (CBS): Janelle Monáe
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ryan Reynolds, Retta
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson
• “At the Heart of Gold: Inside the USA Gymnastics Scandal” (HBO): Featuring brave testimonials from the athletes at the center of the story.
• “Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile” (NETFLIX): Zac Efron stars as infamous serial killer Ted Bundy in a dramatized look at Bundy’s life.

SATURDAY–
• “Paris, Wine & Romance” (HALLMARK): The new owner of her family’s Oregon winery travels to Paris to compete in a wine competition. She meets and falls for a fellow winemaker, but have a falling out when believes he disparaged her wine.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Adam Sandler; with musical guest Shawn Mendes

SUNDAY–
• “American Idol” (ABC): The journey continues as judges Luke Bryan, Katy Perry and Lionel Richie set out to discover the next American Idol.
• “World of Dance” (NBC): Season finale

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Kelly Clarkson – Her song ‘Piece By Piece’ has taken on a new meaning for her since her father’s death a few months ago. Clarkson says she gets emotional every time she sings it.  She has been open about her relationship with her dad, who left her when she was six-years-old.
• Liam Payne — has been named the first Hugo Boss brand ambassador. He’s partnered up with the German fashion house to be the new face of their younger-skewed label, which is launching this summer, and will design his own capsule collection that will be unveiled in July.
• Soulja Boy — will serve 240 days in prison due to a probation violation. Despite his lawyer’s claims that the rapper has had an “awakening,” a judge handed down the sentence on Tuesday, and added 265 days of community service. While awaiting his hearing, Soulja’s home was robbed.
• Drake — made history at the Billboard Music Awards when he took home 12 prizes, making him the most-decorated artist at the event with 27 wins in total. Taylor Swift is second all-time with 23. Drake beat off competition from Card B – who led the nominees with 21 nods – in the Top Artist category as well as Ariana Grande, Post Malone and Travis Scott.
• Van Halen – “Lost Weekend”, a short documentary about a fan who won the chance to party with the band for 48 hours, began screening at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York this week. The film tells the story of Kurt Jefferis, who won an MTV contest in 1984. Frontman David Lee Roth predicted that Jefferis “won’t know what will happen. And when it’s over, he probably won’t be able to remember it anyway.”
• Level 42 – Founding member Boon Gould was found dead at his UK home on Tuesday. He was the guitarist and saxophone player for the group between 1980 and 1987 and reunited for a one-off performance in Bristol in 2012. He was 64. Their best-known song is ‘Lessons in Love’.
• Lady Antebellum – are working on a new album. Singer Hillary Scott says that the group is “refreshed in a way artistically that we haven’t in a long time.” No word yet when the record will be released. The group is also continuing their “Our Kind of Night” residency in Las Vegas, and as performing at several fairs and festivals this summer.
• Carrie Underwood — isn’t sure if her family is complete. In an interview with Today’s Natalie Morales, she said that despite the fact that she suffered multiple miscarriages before her second son – Jacob – was born in January, she will evaluate her family planning with hubby Mike Fisher “after this tour is over.”

 TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Long Shot” (R-Rated, Comedy):  When Fred Flarsky reunites with his first crush, one of the most influential women in the world, Charlotte Field, he charms her. As she prepares to make a run for the Presidency, Charlotte hires Fred as her speechwriter and sparks fly. (Charlize Theron, Seth Rogen)
• “UglyDolls” (PG, Animation/Comedy):  The free-spirited UglyDolls confront what it means to be different, struggle with a desire to be loved, and ultimately discover who you truly are is what matters most. (Kelly Clarkson, Nick Jonas, Janelle Monáe, Blake Shelton)
• “The Intruder” (PG-13, Mystery/Suspense):  A young married couple buy a beautiful house on several acres of land only to find out that the man they bought it from refuses to let go of the property. (Meagan Good, Dennis Quaid)
• “El Chicano” (R-Rated, Action/Drama):  A pair of twin brothers from East L.A. choose to live their lives differently and end up on opposite sides of the law. (Adolfo Alvarez, Logan Arevalo)
• “Tell It to the Bees” (Not Rated, Drama/Romance):  In 1950s small town Britain, a doctor develops a relationship with her young patient’s mother. (Anna Paquin, Holliday Grainger)

MAKING A BACKUP:
An environmental group is asking for the government to step in after a study showed that there is no such thing as a “flushable” wipe. Friends of the Earth would like Canada’s Competition Bureau to launch an inquiry after a Ryerson University study tested 23 wipes labelled “flushable” and found that none of them actually lived up to the claim. Two of the “flushable” wipes partially disintegrated in drains, and the other 21 didn’t disintegrate at all.  Some of them took six flushes just to get through a toilet.  Friends of the Earth would like to see a fine of $10 million for every product sold under a bogus claim of flushability.
Single-use wipes have become a serious concern for operators of municipal sewage systems, clogging pipes and causing millions of dollars in damage and clean-up costs every year.
(I’ve never heard the word “flushability” before, but now I’m going to use it whenever I can!)
(When I was a kid, we wouldn’t have cried to the government.  We would have taken flushing them as a challenge!)
(Maybe they just need a new toilet?)
-CBC

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man in Hong Kong was beaten up after yelling major spoilers to fans waiting outside a theater showing “Avengers: Endgame”. According to local reports, the man was leaving one showing of the superhero flick when he started shouting key spoilers to those waiting in line for the next showing. Eventually, he was attacked by other moviegoers and left beaten and bloodied on the side of the road, before being treated by onlookers.
(Weird.  I did the same thing at “Titanic” and no one batted an eye!)
-News.com.au, Independent
➢ Gillette, Wyoming police say a man who allegedly swiped stuff at a store twice in the same day also asked to fill out a job application during one of his visits. The story is that the man went to Sportsman’s Warehouse and bought items with a rewards card, but allegedly took some sunglasses and ammunition without paying for them. Police say he returned a few hours later, asked to fill out a job application and left, this time making off with two more pair of sunglasses without paying. Police eventually caught up with the man and issued a citation for the thefts.
(We’re guessing he didn’t get the job!)
-AP
➢ An airline traveller in Alaska had something in his carry-on that made TSA agents turn up their noses – literally.  Airport inspectors checked his luggage and found moose feces.  Why? The man said that he collects moose droppings to drop off with politicians to protest what he calls their “bleep policies.” A TSA rep says the discovery didn’t warrant writing a report and the man was sent on his way with the poop.
(With the way things are going, he’s going to need a bigger bag!)
-AP, CTV

DID YOU KNOW?
On ‘Final Jeopardy’, contestants are not permitted to wager $69, $666, or three numbers associated with Nazi propaganda, $14, $88, or $1488.
-ConsequenceofSound

BS CHRONOMETER 05.03.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [85] Frankie Valli, Newark, NJ, Still-touring pop singer (Frontman of the “Four Seasons”, whose hits include ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ and ‘Sherry’)/Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, 1990

1946 [73] Greg Gumbel, New Orleans LA, CBS-TV sportscaster (“The NFL on CBS”, NCAA basketball)

1969 [50] Amy Ryan, Queens NY, TV actress (“The Office” 2008-11)/movie actress (“Birdman”)

1971 [48] John Driskell Hopkins, Atlanta GA, country bass guitarist-vocalist (Zac Brown Band-‘Colder Weather’, ‘Chicken Fried’)

1975 [44] Christina Hendricks, Knoxville TN, TV actress (“Good Girls” since 2018, “Mad Men” 2007-15, “Firefly” 2002-03)/“Esquire” magazine’s ‘Sexiest Woman In the World’ (2010)

1977 [42] Eric Church, Granite Falls NC, country singer (‘Record Year’, ‘Drink in My Hand’)

1984 [35] Cheryl Burke, San Francisco CA, professional dancer (first 2-time champion on “Dancing With the Stars”)

SATURDAY–
Mick Mars (Mötley Crüe) is 68; Randy Travis (‘Forever & Ever Amen’) is 60; Will Arnett (“Arrested Development”) is 49; Mike Durnt (Green Day) is 47; Sportscaster Erin Andrews 41; Lance Bass ( (‘NSYNC) is 40

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Wordsmith Day, just one more excuse for miscellaneous merriment. How scintillating yet somehow egregious.

• “Two Different Colored Shoes Day” celebrate your uniqueness and put it on display today. Wear two different colored shoes and see where they take you.

• “Paranormal Day”, a day for all paranormal enthusiasts to get together and share their unique experiences with each other. Seminars and readings are scheduled worldwide. (Personally, I would have this on Oct. 31. Maybe a pair o’paranormal days?)

• “Specially-Abled Pets Day”, begun in 2006 to educate the public about caring for disabled pets and to find homes for orphaned and physically-challenged animals.

• “World Press Freedom Day”, created by the UN to recognize the value of freedom of expression and the sacrifices journalists have made to attain this freedom.

• “Garden Meditation Day”, a day to let go of concerns and center your full attention on a garden, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Meditate about when you’re going to get around to weeding.

SATURDAY-
• “Intergalactic Star Wars Day”, an unofficial holiday which celebrates the “Star Wars” franchise created by George Lucas. Why today? The date was chosen for the painful pun: “May the 4th be with you” (ouch!).

• “International Firefighters’ Day”, to recognize the efforts of those brave hearts who risk their lives to keep us safe. (And what women consistently pick in polls as ‘Sexiest Profession’.) NET: http://www.firefightersday.org

• “Petite & Proud Day”, for all people under 5’4″ who are tired of derogatory comments about their size. It’s all about celebrating your lack of height and the advantages it brings. Famous names 5’4″ and under include: Amy Poehler, Eva Longoria, Natalie Portman, Michael J Fox, Reese Witherspoon.

• “National Orange Juice Day”, When someone mentions vitamin C, you probably picture a glass of orange juice. Orange juice has more nutrients than virtually any other fruit juice. If you want the maximum vitamins per serving, drink orange juice with the pulp in it! If you don’t, have a screwdriver!

SUNDAY-
• “Cinco de Mayo”, a Mexican holiday commemorating the 1862 victory over French troops at the Battle of Puebla. Mexicans everywhere celebrate with parades and fiestas. That’s likely the reason today is also called “Totally Chipotle Day”, a celebration of the smoked jalapeño pepper. (And just like on St. Patrick’s Day when everybody is a little bit Irish…)

• “Cartoonists Day”, kicking off “Cartoon Art Appreciation Week”, to create greater public awareness of and appreciation for the cartoon. Why today? “The Yellow Kid”, the first newspaper comic strip, was initially published on this day 124 years ago (1895). What’s your favorite? Least favorite?

• “Hoagie Day”, celebrating the official sandwich of Philadelphia. It was reportedly named after Philly’s “Hog Island” shipyard by Italian workers. Hog Island sandwiches became “Hoggies”, and then “Hoagies”.

• “International Midwives Day”, observed since 1991 in over 50 nations worldwide to recognize and honor these healthcare professionals who are experts in women’s reproductive health.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [07] On its opening weekend, “The Avengers” earns $200.3 million in domestic box office, overtaking “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part 2” for biggest film opening of all-time

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1986 [33] Dolly Parton’s “Dollywood” amusement park opens near Gatlinburg, Tennessee

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1934 [85] 1st-ever ‘Comic Book’ is published, “Famous Funnies” from Dell Books

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [33] 54-year-old Willie Shoemaker, aboard 18-to-1 longshot Ferdinand, becomes the oldest jockey ever to win the Kentucky Derby

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Tom Hanks is a third cousin, four generations removed, of Abraham Lincoln.
✓ Natalie Portman has been published in TWO scientific journals.
✓ Kesha has an IQ of 140 and scored 1500 on her SATs.
✓ Woody Harrelson’s dad was an assassin.
✓ Geena Davis is an archer who made it to the semifinals in the qualification rounds for the 2000 Olympics.
✓ Bill Gates’ real-life net worth is ten times that of Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne’s in the comics.
Buzzfeed, UnbelievableFacts

BS BEST YEARBOOK QUOTES:
• Do they have more accommodating trash bins to be stuffed in, in college?
• If at first you don’t succeed, transfer to Mr. Wilson’s 5th Period class. He’ll give anyone a C.
• Best six years of my life!
• I’ll totally explain this hairstyle at the reunion.
• If you’re still single, look me up in 10 years.
• I never seem to finish what I st…
• I’ve had a great year.  But it sure wasn’t this one.
• What do you mean, “Do I go here”?  I see you literally EVERY DAY.
• See everyone next fall in the school of hard knocks!
• No picture
• I’m not allowed within 300 feet of a school, yet here I am !
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS IT’S NEVER A GOOD SIGN WHEN:
• Your mechanic wants to “show you something”.
• You skip makeup for the day and everyone asks if you’re sick.
• The restaurant parking lot is empty.
• She doesn’t text back.
• Your UBER driver has had more to drink than you have.
• Your teenager starts the conversation by telling you what a great Mom you are.
• Your phone rings at 3AM.
• Your doctor tells you to say, “Ahhh”…then gasps.
• You’re invited to someone’s house for dinner and there’s no hand soap in the bathroom.
• The kids are suddenly very quiet…
• Your wife asks, “Notice anything different?”
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You can’t make everyone happy. You are not chocolate.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the weirdest compliment you have ever received?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  The average guy will do THIS almost 1200 times this year, while the average woman will do it fewer than 800 times.  What is it?
Answer:  Lie

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
May today be the Fridayest Friday that ever Fridayed.