March 23, 2012 INTL

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Friday, March 23, 2012        Edition: #4712

BS You Can Actually Look Forward To In the Morning!

“Jersey Shore” star Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino’s prescription drug & alcohol rehab situation is giving the show’s producers a tough choice for the upcoming 6th season (if they don’t let him drink, they’ll lose views; if they do, they will look like crass enablers) . . . TV actor Jeremy Sisto (“Suburgatory”) is the proud pap of a new son, whom he & wife Addie Lane have dubbed ‘Bastian Kick’ (add another to the list of Hollywood kids in need of future therapy) . . . FOX-TV has finally come to its senses and canceled “I Hate My Teenage Daughter” (has anyone ever watched?) . . . The ex-wives of Eddie Murphy, R Kelly, and Will Smith are set to prove that ‘they’re people too’ by starring in the new reality TV series “Hollywood Exes” on VH1 (at what point will every single person have been on TV?) . . . More of NBC-TV’s “The Office” cast is jumping ship: Paul Lieberstein (‘Toby Flenderson’) is leaving to focus on a spinoff with Rainn Wilson (‘Dwight Schrute’); while Ed Helms (‘Andy Bernard’) has joined a new show created by Mindy Kalling (‘Kelly Kapoor’) which is so far untitled (hello, is anyone home?) . . . Despite what “Star” magazine’s new cover story claims, a rep vehemently denies that “American Idol” judge Jennifer Lopez (42) has married boy-toy Casper Smart (24) in Mexico (yet) . . . Simon Cowell’s “The X Factor” (FOX) has now gone from wooing Britney Spears and Janet Jackson as replacements to Stacy Keilber and Leann Rimes (downgrade!) . . . Wilmer Valderrama (“That ‘70s Show” and, most recently, “That ‘70s Show”), who’s previously dated Demi Lovato, Lindsay Lohan, and Mandy Moore, has reportedly snagged yet another Hollywood hottie far out of his league – former “Friday Night Lights” star Minka Kelly (the guy must have hidden ‘talent’) . . . And a rep for R&B singer Ray J, is calling bunk on rumors that he’s been looking to cash in on a goldmine of sex tapes and explicit pics of himself with the late Whitney Houston (no no no, he’s looking to create a whirlwind of publicity by starting the rumor and then retracting it).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated) – Today Carly Rae Jepsen (“Tug of War”); Justin Bieber (“Never Say Never – The Remixes”).
• GLAAD Awards (NYC) – Saturday the annual media honors for ‘fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community’ are handed out. Lady Gaga is once again up for ‘Outstanding Music Artist’. Presentations will also be made in Los Angeles on April 21st and San Francisco on June 2nd.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – Tonight Allen Stone (“Allen Stone”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Mastodon (“Blood Mountain”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC) – Tonight Dr Dog (“Be the Void”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Die Antwoord (“Ten$Ion”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated) – This morning Taylor Swift (“Speak Now”).
• “Mad Men” (AMC) – Sunday the 5th season finally premieres with a 2-part episode. Returning cast includes Jon Hamm (‘Don Draper’), John Slattery (‘Roger Sterling’), Elisabeth Moss (‘Peggy Olson’), and Christina Hendricks (‘Joan Harris’). Fans have had a 525-day wait for this, thanks to non-cast contract negotiations. Theme music here …
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) – Host Anna Faris (“What’s Your Number?”); musical guest Drake (“Take Care”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – Tonight Melanie Fiona f/J Cole (“The MF Life”).
• “The View” (ABC) – Today The Cranberries (“Roses”). Rerun.

• Billy Currington – Tonight he kicks off his first-ever headlining tour at the Toadlick Music Festival in Dothan, Alabama. He also plays Biloxi, Mississippi this weekend.
• The Black Keys – They’ve apologized for calling Nickelback ‘sh–‘ in a January “Rolling Stone” interview. Patrick Carney now tells MTV News: “There’s much worse bands than Nickelback. Maybe.”
• Cake – They’ve released a fan-made video for their track “The Winter”. The clip includes over 170 people from 165 different cities in 20 different countries from 5 continents.
• Justin Bieber – He’s released the lyrics to his upcoming single “Boyfriend”, which include the following superlative prose: “Swag swag swag, on you / chillin by the fire why we eatin’ fondue.”
• Kenny Chesney – This week he was honored with the Academy of Country Music’s special ‘Crystal Milestone’ award, for selling more than 10 million concert tickets and popularizing country music outside of the format.
• KISS – They’re teaming with Motley Crue for “The Tour” this Summer, hitting 40 cities beginning July 20th in Bristow, Virginia. The bands, who first toured together in 1982, will each play a 90-minute set.
• Luke Bryan – Today he debuts the new video for “Drunk On You” on along with its various apps. It’s the 3rd single from his “Tailgates & Tanlines” album.
• Madonna – Saturday at 6 pm ET she does a live stream interview with late night TV host Jimmy Fallon that will be webcast on her Facebook page, where fans can also submit questions. Her 12th studio album, “MDNA”, is out Monday.


“The Hunger Games” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Drama ): In a future where the ‘Capitol’ selects a boy and girl from the 12 districts to fight to the death on live television, ‘Katniss Everdeen’ (Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers to take her younger sister’s place. Co-stars Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth. Based on the first book of a trilogy of young adult novels by Suzanne Collins.

“Hop” ( PG Animated Comedy ): Russell Brand (ex-Mr Katy Perry) voices the role of ‘EB’, the Easter Bunny’s teen son, who heads to Hollywood determined to become a drummer in a rock band. Voice cast also includes Elizabeth Perkins (“Weeds”), Hank Azaria (“The Simpsons”), Hugh Laurie (“House”), Chelsea Handler (“Chelsea Lately”), and David Hasselhoff … as himself.


According to new data from the Pew Research Center, nearly 1-in-5 young adults in America aged 18-to-34 gets some kind of regular allowance from parents or family members. For these people, not much has changed since middle school: They’re still living at home, doing chores, and getting a living allowance. Overall, about 1-in-10 of all adults still gets some kind of financial aid from parents or relatives. (Upon hearing this, 1-in-2 people aged 35 or more is likely to begin a story with “Back in the day …”)

Vibrating magnetic tattoos may one day be used to alert smartphone users to calls and texts if Nokia follows up on a patent application. The Finnish phone-maker describes the idea as tattooing, stamping, or spraying ‘ferromagnetic’ material onto a user’s skin and then pairing it with a mobile device. It suggests different vibrations could be used to create a range of alerts. The patent filing also proposes that the magnetized marking could be used as an identity check, with each user creating their own ‘magnetic fingerprint’. (Why not just put a chip in all our heads and be done with it?)
– Condensed from BBC News


The ‘Exxon Valdez’, arguably the most famous ship of modern times, is finally hitting the scrap yard. On March 24, 1989 it ran aground off the Alaska coast, resulting in the 2nd-largest oil spill in US history. After several ownership changes and a 2010 collision in the South China Sea, the ship has been sold for scrap for $16-million and this week is headed for Singapore and an upcoming date with a ‘ship breaker’. To deflect attention from its tragic history, the ship was renamed the ‘Exxon Mediterranean’, then ‘SeaRiver Mediterranean’, ‘Dong Fang Ocean’ and, finally, the ‘Oriental Nicety’.  (We’re betting much-maligned Captain Joseph Hazelwood has changed his name as well.)
– “Dallas Morning News”


Many pet owners leave their home radios playing all day for the listening pleasure of their dogs and/or cats. University of Wisconsin animal psychologist Charles Snowdon notes that we have a very human tendency to assume our pets will have the same musical preferences we do. But he’s discovered animals only enjoy what he calls ‘species-specific music’. To animals, human music falls into a grating, unrecognizable category that they simply aren’t wired to appreciate. In fact, studies show that animals generally respond to human music with a total lack of interest. (Wait a sec … there are animal psychologists?)
– Adapted from

Flickr hosts some 5 billion photographs; Facebook hosts more than 15 billion.


1968 [44] Damon Albarn, London UK, alt-rock singer/songwriter/producer (Gorillaz-“Feel Good Inc”, Blur-“Girls & Boys”)

1976 [36] Keri Russell, Fountain Valley CA, movie actress (“Extraordinary Measures”, “Mission: Impossible III”)/TV actress (“Felicity” 1998-2002)

1976 [36] Michelle Monaghan, Winthrop IA, movie actress (“Source Code”, “Mission: Impossible III”)

1978 [34] Perez Hilton (Mario Lavandeira Jr), Miami FL, pop culture blogger ( personality (“Radio Perez”)

Fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger (Tommy Girl) is 61; TV actor Peter Jacobson (“House”) is 47; TV actor Jim Parsons (“The Big Bang Theory”) is 39; TV actress Alyson Hannigan (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 38; Rock drummer Chad Butler (Switchfoot) is 38; NFL QB Peyton Manning (Denver Broncos) is 36; Movie actress Jessica Chastain (“The Help”) is 35; Alt-rock bassist Benj Gershman (OAR) is 32.

Soul singer Aretha Franklin (“Respect”) is 70; Pop singer Elton John (“Candle In the Wind”) is 65; TV actress Marcia Cross (“Desperate Housewives”) is 50; TV-movie actress Sarah Jessica Parker (“Sex & The City”) is 47; Race car driver Danica Patrick (Daytona 500) is 30; TV actress-singer Katharine McPhee (“Smash”) is 28.


• “Chip & Dip Day”. While North Americans might pick ‘Sour Cream & Onion’ or ‘Salt & Vinegar’ chips, the top flavors for ‘crisps’ in the UK include ‘Roast Beef & Mustard’ and ‘Smoked Ham & Pickle’. The Swiss like ‘Paprika’, while Thais choose ‘Prawn’, and in Egypt ‘Kebab’ is popular. The best dip? ‘Hot Bean with Jalapenos’ … or is it?
• “Day of Unplugging”, sponsored by the nonprofit organization Reboot, to encourage us to not use computers, cellphones, or any other technology from sundown today until sundown tomorrow. (Good luck with that.)
• “Puppy Day”, the idea being to save 10,000 homeless puppies in a single day by encouraging adoptions at dog pounds and rescue centers.
• “World Meteorological Day”, an annual UN observance to promote understanding of how weather, climate, and water affects us all. For one thing, it seems to be our favorite topic of conversation. What overused weather clichés should be dumped?

• “Chocolate Covered Raisins Day” … but not the kind you find in your kid’s bunny cage.
• “Inspect Your Cat’s Tongue Day”. You know you’ve always wanted to see what makes your cat’s tongue feel like sandpaper … today’s the day to find out!
• “World Tuberculosis Day”, to build public awareness that tuberculosis remains an epidemic in much of the world, causing the deaths of about 1.6 million people each year, mostly in the Third World.

• “Greek Independence Day”, the anniversary of the country’s proclamation of independence in 1821. (The next day, they start borrowing money.)
• “International Day of Remembrance Of the Victims of Slavery & The Transatlantic Slave Trade”. Okay it’s a worthwhile effort and all … but wearing the button will give you a hernia!
• “International Waffle Day”, a holiday that originated in Sweden to coincide with the Christian “Feast Of the Annunciation”. It was also considered the start of Spring so it became a custom for Swedish families to celebrate the 2 events by making waffles on this day.
• “Pecan Day”, an annual salute to the only nut tree native to North America. The word comes from Algonquian language, meaning a nut requiring a stone to crack. The proper pronunciation is ‘peh-CAHN’ not ‘PEE-can’.
• “Tolkien Reading Day”, an annual event launched by the Tolkien Society in 2003 with the aim of encouraging the reading of the works of JRR Tolkien. The date of March 25th was chosen in honour of the fall of ‘Sauron’ in “The Lord Of the Rings”.


1990 [22] “Pretty Woman” starring Julia Roberts & Richard Gere, opens in movie theaters (this week Gere called the film ‘a silly romantic comedy’, then quickly backtracked due to fan reaction)

1998 [14] “Titanic” wins a record-tying 11 Oscars at the 70th annual “Academy Awards” (“Ben Hur” and “Lord Of the Rings, The Return Of the King” have also won 11)

2011 [01] Screen legend Elizabeth Taylor (“Butterfield 8”, “Cleopatra”) dies in Los Angeles of congestive heart failure at age 79


1985 [27] Singer Billy Joel marries uptown model Christie Brinkley (marriage lasts 10 years)


2002 [10] Girls in Afghanistan are allowed to return to school for the first time in many years


[Mon] Legal Assistants Day
[Mon] Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
[Tues] Celebrate Exchange Day
[Tues] Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day
[Wed] Weed Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
This Week Is … Cleaning Week
This Month Is … Deaf History Month


• “I guess this means I’m out of the 20 bucks he owes me.”
• “I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit!”
• “When did he die? Really? Hey Todd, you won the pool!”
• “Don’t look now Jason, but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on.”
• “He looks natural and all but those shoes do NOT go with that dress.”
• “Geez, what died in here?”


Most consumer robots currently being sold are used for which purpose?
a. Vacuum cleaning. [CORRECT]
b. Lawn mowing.
c. Companionship.
– “Financial Times”


☎ What’s the oddest thing you’ve ever found while Spring cleaning? (Other than that you hate Spring cleaning.)


It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.


Question: If you’re average, you do THIS just over 250 times per year.
Answer: Blow your nose.


You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

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