May 28 2019

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Tuesday, May 28, 2019 Edition: #6460

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ “Game of Thrones” fans are a passionate bunch, as demonstrated by the recent petition that has so far garnered more than 1.5 million signatures, demanding that the entire eighth season be remade with writers who aren’t “woefully incompetent,” and blasting series showrunners D.B. Weiss and David Benioff. That anger has apparently not subsided, as a new petition is asking that Disney remove the duo from writing and producing three upcoming “Star Wars” movies.
(Where were these people when “Lost” ended?)
★ Moby has apologized to Natalie Portman for saying in his memoir without her permission that they had a brief romantic relationship. In his upcoming autobiography “Then It Fell Apart,” Moby wrote that he dated Portman when she was 20 and he was 33. Portman disputed that, saying, “My recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school.” Sunday, Moby took to Instagram to write: “given the dynamic of our almost 14-year age difference, I absolutely should’ve acted more responsibly and respectfully when Natalie and I first met.”
★ Stan Lee’s former business manager was arrested Saturday in Arizona for five counts of elder abuse against the late comic book legend. Among the charges that 43-year-old Keya Morgan is facing are allegations of false imprisonment, theft and embezzlement. He will go before a judge in Arizona before being extradited to L.A. to face charges. Bail has been set at $300,000. Morgan, a memorabilia dealer, became close to Lee in the last few years of the pop culture icon’s life, accompanying him to movie premieres and approving media requests for interviews.
★ Director F. Gary Gray will be honored with the 2,665th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on this morning. Gray’s films include “Law Abiding Citizen”, “Be Cool”, “The Italian Job”, “A Man Apart” and “Set It Off”. His film, “Straight Outta Compton” made over $160 million at the domestic box office, making Gray the highest-grossing African-American director.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Taron Egerton, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, the Special
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Howard Stern, Of Monsters and Men (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chris Cuomo, Nicholas Hoult, Lily Collins, James Taylor (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Issa Rae, Timothy Simons, Rachael Ray, Aaron Comess (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Eric McCormack, Danielle Macdonald, Paige Weldon (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Isla Fisher, Mark Normand (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Lisa Vanderpump (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Lamar Odom
• “The Talk” (CBS): Blair Underwood, chef Anne Burrell, guest co-host Rumer Willis
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Bryce Dallas Howard, Dana Avidan
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ali Wong, Behati Prinsloo, Willa Amai
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Season 14 premiere. Gabrielle Union and Julianne Hough join the judging panel in place of Mel B and Heidi Klum, while Terry Crews replaces Tyra Banks as host.
• “Biography: Jeff Dunham – Talking Heads” (A&E): He has entertained millions of people across the globe through his record setting comedy specials and mega-popular live performances.
• “Biography: Jeff Foxworthy – Stand Up Guy” (A&E): He became one of comedy’s biggest success stories by subverting Southern stereotypes and giving self-proclaimed “rednecks” permission to laugh at themselves. His brand of relatable humor has made him a household name.

• Ed Sheeran — is reportedly poised to become a billionaire before he turns 30. The 28-year-old has millions rolling into his bank account each week thanks to the success of his “Divide” tour, which has reportedly seen him earn close to US$636 million (£500 million) so far. He is expected to surpass U2’s record of $737 million (£579.35 million), which they made during their 2009-11 run of shows.
• Walk off the Earth — are paying tribute to their late bandmate Mike Taylor with the new track entitled ‘Mike’s Song.’ It’s an ode to the former keyboardist, who was affectionately known as “Beard Guy” by his fans. Taylor died in December from what the band said were “natural causes.”
• Susan Boyle — is taking flying lessons. The woman who soared to fame on “Britain’s Got Talent” in 2008, and recently learned to ride a bike, has now turned her attention toward flying. Boyle – who cannot drive a car – said: ”I thought about the things I’ve missed out on before. I’m approaching 60 but who cares. I live a comfortable life and deserve to enjoy it. Mum never had enough money for a bike.”
• James Blunt – says his next album will be his saddest yet. Quote: ”Misery sells and I know a few people that have died, and a few have been born, so I’m writing about those.” He points out, however, that he’s having a ”really good time” recording.
• Elton John — The woman believed to have been the inspiration for his classic ‘Someone Saved My Life Tonight’ says that she is “disappointed” that she was not portrayed in the upcoming biopic “Rocketman”. Linda Hannon – then called Woodrow – was engaged to John when he suddenly broke up. Months later, he scored his first hit with ‘Your Song’, and went on to record ‘Someone Saved My Life Tonight’ five years later.
• Queen — Billboard reports that their album sales jumped more than 483 per cent to 1.1 million units in the six months following the debut of their biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody.” On-demand streams of their music more than tripled, going from 588 million to 1.9 billion. According to Billboard’s estimates, these sales resulted in “nearly $18 million in revenue versus the $4.4 million that Queen’s catalog had earned in the preceding six months.”
• Sheryl Crow – has released a behind-the-scenes video of her all-star collaboration with Bonnie Raitt and Mavis Staples on the new song ‘Live Wire’. Her album of musical collaborations, “Threads”, will be released on Aug. 30. It will include contributions from Keith Richards, Stevie Nicks, Chris Stapleton, Maren Morris, Jason Isbell, and more.
• Jason Aldean – posted video of him bringing his almost-two-year-old son Memphis on stage at his Saturday show in Oklahoma. Aldean announced to the crowd that it was his son’s very first show because, as he put it, “Usually he’s in bed by the time we’re playing.”
• Blake Shelton – When news broke that Adam Levine will not be returning as a judge for season 17 of “The Voice”, Shelton good-naturedly tweeted that he is “Gonna miss working with that idiot.”

• “The Perfection” (Not Rated, Drama/Mystery):  When troubled musical prodigy Charlotte seeks out Elizabeth, the new star pupil of her former school, the encounter sends both musicians down a sinister path with shocking consequences. (Allison Williams, Alaina Huffman, Steven Weber)
• “Greta” (R-Rated, Drama):  Frances, a naïve young woman in New York City, meets Greta, an eccentric French piano teacher.  The two become fast friends – but Greta’s maternal charms begin to dissolve and grow increasingly disturbing as Frances discovers that nothing in Greta’s life is what it seems. (Isabelle Huppert, Chloë Grace Moretz)
• “A Vigilante” (R-Rated, Drama):  A once-abused woman devotes herself to ridding victims of their domestic abusers while hunting down the husband she must kill to truly be free. (Olivia Wilde, Morgan Spector)

A new study says that swearing not only can actually be a positive thing…it usually is. Timothy Jay of Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts says that most often, people use swear words to elicit humor. While swearing can yield both positive and negative outcomes, in more than 10,00 episodes of public swearing, very few produced negative consequences. Most public uses of taboo words were not uttered in anger, but were innocuous and produced positive consequences. It was found that using colorful language can lead to multiple results such as when used positively for joking and storytelling, stress management, fitting in with the crowd, or as a substitute for physical aggression. And if your friends frequently color the air with a blue tinge, hang on to them. Those who swear a lot were found more likely to be honest and trustworthy people. Authors of the study found “a consistent positive relationship between profanity and honesty; profanity was associated with less lying and deception at the individual level and with higher integrity at the society level”.
(I’m pretty sure that I have the most honest and trustworthy friends around!)
(All these “positive outcomes” from swearing make me think that we’re doing this radio show with a handicap!)
(And if you can’t think of one of your friends who swears a lot, guess what?  It’s YOU!)

A 12-year-old Chinese boy may just have come up with the best invention since…the clothesline. Lu Jiezhen, a sixth-grade student in Nanning, was awarded first prize at a regional science and innovation contest for creating an automatic clothes-drying rack that retracts whenever it detects rain – and extends again when the sky clears. The boy came up with the idea after being asked by his mother to bring the clothes in after they had dried, and being 12 years old, he forgot, the clothes got rained on, and his mom yelled at him. Lu’s invention features sensors that detect rain drops and retract the rack under a water-proof tarp to keep them dry. It also has a light-sensitive sensor, so when the sky clears and the sun shines again, it retracts the tarp and re-extends the drying rack. The automatic rack can even measure the wetness of the clothes and retract under the tarp when they are completely dry.
(Great, buddy. Now get to work on a dryer that folds your clothes!)
(I hate doing laundry too. But don’t you love that 3-minute period when all the laundry is done?)
(Has he got any ideas for when freshly-cut grass blows all over it?)

➠ Sharpens cognitive functions:  We all know that if you don’t get enough sleep at night, you’re definitely not on your game the next day. Just as sleep affects learning and information retaining abilities, so do naps. Taking a 60 to 90-minute nap has been shown to boost mental performance for up to 24 hours afterwards.
➠ Improves heart health:  A study showed that people who nap regularly are less likely to have heart health issues later in life. Napping makes up for a lack of sleep that can wreak havoc on heart health. “Regular” napping is defined as snoozing at least three times a week, for at least 30 minutes. (What am I supposed to do at work on the other 2 afternoons?)
➠ Reduces stress and anxiety:  Being tired causes stress, which makes you even more tired. But napping can reverse that, soothing you at the peak time of stress. A study showed that three stress hormones spiked when their participants didn’t nap, causing more health-damaging stress.
➠ Fights food cravings:  When you’re tired and craving energy, you naturally want to eat. But when you’re tired, you’re also a lot more likely to eat junk food, and to eat more of it. Napping is an alternative to snacking in that it boosts energy and stops you from thinking about food — because you’re asleep! (…dreaming about fried chicken…)
➠ Improves physical performance:  Napping seems like the opposite of working out, but studies show that athletes who take short naps enjoy improved performance on the field, including having faster motor reaction skills and increased speed.
(Going by this, I’m pretty sure my cat is going to live forever!)
(Have you ever noticed that early-morning radio hosts LOOOVE talking about naps?)

The owners of a Noah’s Ark replica are suing their insurer, saying they didn’t cover damage from — you guessed it — a flood. The Kentucky-based “Ark Encounter”, a 510-foot wooden ship straight out of the Old Testament, say the road leading to the ship and the vessel itself were damaged by a landslide spurred by intense rain in 2017 and 2018. They claim $1 million worth of damage was sustained.


1944 [75] Gladys Knight, Oglethorpe GA, soul singer (‘Midnight Train to Georgia’, ‘If I Were Your Woman’)

1945 [74] John Fogerty, Berkeley CA, rock singer/guitarist (‘Centerfield’, w/CCR-‘Proud Mary’, ‘Who’ll Stop the Rain’)

1964 [55] Phil Vassar, Lynchburg VA, country singer-songwriter (‘Just Another Day In Paradise’, ‘In a Real Love’)

1968 [51] Kylie Minogue, Melbourne, Australia, pop singer (‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head’)/movie actress (“Moulin Rouge”)

1977 [42] Elisabeth Hasselbeck (Filarski), Cranston RI, TV co-host (“FOX & Friends” 2013-15, “The View” 2003-13)/reality TV contestant (“Survivor: The Australian Outback” 2001)

1978 [41] Jake Johnson, Evanston IL, TV actor (‘Nick Miller’ on “New Girl” 2011-18)

1985 [34] Colbie Caillat, Newbury Park CA, pop singer (‘Brighter Than the Sun’, ‘Bubbly’)

1985 [34] Carey Mulligan, London UK, movie actress (“The Great Gatsby”, “Drive”)

• “Hamburger Day”, a day to celebrate one of the cornerstone foods of Western civilization – the hamburger! While it was invented in Germany, its popularity spread like wildfire throughout the United States and Canada. (What burger topping can you absolutely NOT do without?)

• “Amnesty International Day”, commemorating the 1961 launch of ‘Appeal for Amnesty’ which evolved into today’s “AI”. The organization strives to protect human rights around-the-world by publicizing problems and encouraging citizens and governments to take action.

• “Brisket Day”, brisket is a tricky meat in that it comes from the animal tough, but if you find a particularly well-marbled piece and cook it correctly, it will become fork-soft and simply peel apart, making it the tenderest of tender meats. (Whoops! Drooled just a bit there…)

[Wed] National Biscuit Day
[Wed] Paper Clip Day
[Thurs] Mint Julep Day
[Thurs] National Creativity Day

2010 [09] Gary Coleman, former child star of 1970s TV sitcom “Diff’rent Strokes”, dies at age 42 in Provo, Utah, 2 days after suffering a brain hemorrhage

2014 [05] Maya Angelou, author of “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” and many other works, dies of natural causes at age 86 at her home in Winston-Salem NC

2014 [05] Apple pays $3 billion for Beats Electronics, the music company and headphone-maker started by music producer Jimmy Iovine and rap artist Dr. Dre

2006 [13] Barry Bonds hits his 715th career home run, passing Babe Ruth on the MLB all-time list. (With a huge asterisk…)

2002 [17] ‘Mars Odyssey’ robotic spacecraft finds signs of large ice deposits on the planet Mars

1987 [32] Paul Pearman jumps over 21 barrels … on a skateboard (Augusta GA)


✓ A scientist cracked his knuckles on one hand for over 50 years to prove it did not cause Arthritis.
✓ In 2013, Bill Gates admitted that the Ctrl+Alt+Delete command was a mistake, and should have been a single button.
✓ Ichiro Suzuki, baseball’s all-time hits leader, learned Spanish just for the purpose of trash talking opponents.
✓ Horses can be trained to use symbols in order to tell humans what they want, a study found.
✓ “Holland” is a province, South and North, in The Netherlands, not the name of the whole country.
✓ Kenya has an ice hockey team.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast.

• Whenever possible, wear matching outfits.
• Don’t take it so seriously.  This one’s just a starter marriage.
• Make a list of every annoying habit your partner has and read it to her. Now that you’re married, she’ll want to change to make you happy.
• There is no need for a prenup because you are in love.
• Instead of going to bed angry, go to bed with someone else.
• Buy a timeshare while you are on your honeymoon.  It’s a great investment!
• Now that you are married, feel free to let yourself go.
• Show her you care by making sure you get the last word in during any discussion.
• The grosser you act, the sexier you look.
• When she says she’s fine, she’s fine.

Best of ‘BS’ . . .

• I have developed and perfected the rare skill of turning off my alarm in my sleep.
• Coffee is more important to me than being on time.
• People drive too slow.
• I hate where I’m going more than I hate where I’ve been.
• It’s hard to make a grand entrance when you’re on time.
• I thought you said Thursday.
• That one time I was early for something, I had to wait for all the stragglers to show up.
• There was an incident. It involved a toddler and a diaper. That’s all you need to know.
• I KNEW I should have taken that left toin at Albuquerque.
• Hey! I’m here. Whattdaya want?
• I have cats to serve.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

What are the most annoying (or best) clichés used by sports announcers?

Question:  The average person will do THIS 7,163 times before they die. What is it?
Answer:  Take a bath

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.


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