Thursday, November 3, 2016 – Edition: #5843

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Lindsay Lohan says her bizarre new accent is a mixture of the languages she speaks and those she’s trying to learn. The 30-year-old actress debuted her new way of speaking when caught on tape at the opening of her new nightclub in Athens, Greece. The patois appears to have notes of Australian, French, Turkish, and Saudi Arabian. Lohan boasts: “I’m fluent in English and French, can understand Russian, and am learning Turkish, Italian, and Arabic.”
– DailyMail.com
★ 56-year-old Val Kilmer is dismissing recent suggestions from fellow actor Michael Douglas that he’s battling cancer. Douglas hasn’t gone into detail about Kilmer’s condition, but he himself suffered from tongue cancer after originally being diagnosed with throat cancer. However, Val has now taken to his Facebook page to set the record straight. Quote: “The last time I spoke to him was almost 2 years ago, when I asked him for a referral for a specialist … I still have a swollen tongue and am rehabbing steadily.”
– WENN.com
★ And aging actress Pamela Anderson (49) has finally found some work. She appears in a new game-show styled PSA called “The Driving Game”. It warns that drivers for ride-share apps – such as Uber and Lyft – aren’t properly vetted, and are committing sexual assaults at alarming rates. There are few hard stats on the matter, but some police departments, like Boston’s, have issued warnings about such services after alleged sexual assaults. Other cities, like Austin TX, have flat-out banned Uber and Lyft for refusing to submit drivers’ fingerprints. Reps for both companies insist all their drivers go through vigorous background checks.
– TMZ.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Daily Show” (Comedy Central) – Common (“Nobody’s Smiling”).
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Maroon 5 perform the new single “Don’t Wanna Know”, their first collaboration with 7-time Grammy Award-winning artist Kendrick Lamar.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kings of Leon (“Walls”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – DIIV (“Is the Is Are”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – OAR (“XX”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Guest co-host Eve (“Lip Lock”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – My Morning Jacket’s Jim James (“Eternally Even”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chris Brown – He’s a dumbass, wheely-poppin’ ATV fool. At least, that’s what his neighbors are saying. One of his San Fernando Valley neighbors is so pissed about the noise and recklessness she’s posted footage of him driving on one of the streets in the neighborhood.
• Kane Brown – Tonight in Kalamazoo MI he embarks on his headlining “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now Tour”. The 30-date trek runs through January 21st in Houston TX.
• K’naan – The 39-year-old Somali-Canadian rapper is shooting the HBO series “Mogadishu, Minnesota”, the story of immigrants trying to adjust. But he’s run into opposition from fellow Somalis in Minneapolis, home to the largest Somali community in the US. While he envisions a family drama, others worry the series will focus on young Somalis who join terrorist groups.
• Lil Wayne – The 34-year-old rapper tells ABC-TV’s “Nightline” that the Black Lives Matter movement has nothing to do with him. He explains that he doesn’t agree with horrific acts like young blacks being killed by police being given a generic name.
• Little Big Town – Taylor Swift may not have released new music of her own this year, but it seems she’s been busier than we thought. She’s credited as the writer of LBT’s new single “Better Man”. The country group performed with her during her “1989” tour.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• ‘Alexander McQueen biopic’ – Actor Jack O’Connell (“Unbroken”) is lined up to play Alexander McQueen in this as-yet-unnamed film about the late fashion designer’s life. It’s based on Andrew Wilson’s 2015 biography “Blood Beneath the Skin”. One of the UK’s most celebrated designers, McQueen died of suicide at age 40 in 2010. Filming starts next Spring.
• “All-Star Weekend” – Actor Jamie Foxx wrote the screenplay and makes his directorial debut with this story about 2 obsessed basketball fans who win two tickets to the NBA All-Star Game. The cast includes Eva Longoria, Jeremy Piven, and Jessica Szohr; with cameos from DJ Khaled, boxer Floyd Mayweather, The Game, and Snoop Dogg. Production has already begun.
• “Dashing Through the Snow” – Comedian/actor Kevin Hart (“Ride Along”) is in negotiations to play ‘Santa’ in this new Disney comedy that’s in development. The story revolves around a New York City detective who has a difficult relationship with his son. The producers are still looking for a director to helm the project.
• “The Lady & The Panda” – 33-year-old actress Rebecca Ferguson is set to star as the real-life explorer Ruth Harkness in this new historical adventure. Harkness was a 1930s NYC socialite who unexpectedly took over her husband’s expedition after he died, and subsequently became the first person to ever bring a live panda out of China and into the world’s attention.
• “Rambo: New Blood” – A reboot of the 1980s action film franchise is in the works, but it won’t star Sylvester Stallone. The now 70-year-old played the iconic ‘John Rambo’ in the franchise’s 4 previous movies. A search is on for a younger actor who can transform the titular character into a modern-day hero. No plot details have been revealed as the movie is still in development.

RENT-A-CAR:
Starting next year, some Toyota owners will be able to rent out their cars … which could allow them to pay for their vehicle. Toyota is partnering with Getaround, a startup that assists drivers who want to rent out their cars, to launch a 500-car test of the program in San Francisco CA in January. Owners of a Toyota Prius or Lexus C200h are eligible to make their cars available, and anyone who rents one is able to unlock and start it using a smartphone app thanks to a ‘smart key box’ that Toyota has developed. If the trial is a success, Toyota may sell the box, which can be installed on a car’s dashboard, to current Toyota owners. The average San Francisco Prius owner in the test trial is expected to make about $500-a-month. (After all, how long is your car just sitting somewhere parked each day?)
– CNNMoney.com

INVISIBLE PROTEST:
More than 1.4 million people have checked in on Facebook to support protesters fighting against a new oil pipeline in Standing Rock, a Sioux nation reservation in North Dakota. Since last weekend, activists have been asking people to falsely check in on Facebook to confuse police about the actual number and identity of those actually protesting. Protestors believe the cops are using Facebook’s location feature to compile a list of activists. Police deny they are using social media to track protesters’ movements. Activists say the Sioux nation is under threat as the pipeline could contaminate their water source. (This is like a ‘flash mob’ where nobody shows up.)
– Reuters.com

THE NEW BRIDAL SHOP:
The brand-new company Floravere is changing the process of shopping for a wedding dress by speeding things up with the first-ever direct-to-consumer system. It allows brides to shop designs crafted by former artisans of luxury fashion houses such as Monique Lhuillier, Dior, Zac Posen, and Reem Acra, then decide on 3 samples to try at home. She can then throw a party and dance around in front of the mirror in the pieces, then choose her favorite silhouette and ship everything back. Back online, she’ll make tweaks and customize her total look, and the dress will be finished in 10-to-15 weeks. The debut collection is available to browse now, and all the gowns ring in under $4,000. (Or you can go ‘vintage’ for about $19.99)
NET: http://floravere.com
– PopSugar.com

BS AMAZING COFFEE FACTS:
• Millennials (18- to 34-year-olds) now represent about 44% of retail coffee business.
• 48% of 18-to-24s now drink coffee daily, up from 34% in 2008. 60% of those aged 25-to-39 drink it daily, up from 51%.
• Older Millennials, those born around 1982, started consuming coffee at an average age of 17.1 years. Those born after 1995 started much earlier … 14.7 years.
– Condensed from Mashable.com

BS CHRONOMETER 11.03.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [62] Phil Simms, Springfield KY, NFL analyst (CBS-TV)/former NFL quarterback (2 Super Bowls with NY Giants 1979-93)

1957 [59] Dolph Lundgren, Stockholm, Sweden, movie actor (“The Expendables” films, “Rocky IV”)/martial artist UP NEXT: “The Expendables 4” (2017).

1978 [38] Tim McIlrath, Indianapolis IN, rock vocalist-guitarist (Rise Against-“Savior”, “Help Is on the Way”)

1987 [29] Colin Kaepernick, Milwaukee WI, NFL QB (San Francisco 49ers) who takes a knee during the pre-game anthem

1987 [29] Courtney Barnett, Sydney, Australia, singer-songwriter (“Elevator Operator”, “Pedestrian at Best”)/2016 Grammy Award for ‘Best New Artist’

1995 [21] Kendall Jenner, LA CA, fashion model/TV personality (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”)/fashion designer (Kendall & Kylie)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cliché Day”. It’s amazing how they infiltrate our daily conversations. Try to make it through an entire show without anyone uttering a cliché. Hit the buzzer every time one pops up!
MOST ANNOYING BS CLICHÉS:
✗ “Run it up the flagpole.”
✗ “You know what I mean?”
✗ “At the end of the day …”
✗ “To be honest …”
✗ “Threw me under the bus.”
✗ “It is what it is.”
✗ “I’m not joking.”
✗ “With all due respect …”
✗ “Bite the bullet.”
✗ “Par for the course.”

• “Men Make Dinner Day”, annually on the 1st Thursday of November. It’s intended to be the one guaranteed meal cooked by the man-of-the-house each year. Sure millions of guys make dinner for their families on a regular basis, but this day is for the last remaining neanderthal homes where they don’t … and for guys who are just too scared to cook.
NET: http://www.menmakedinnerday.com/home/index.php

• “Sandwich Day”, celebrating the 1718 birth of John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich. A compulsive gambler, he wanted something that could be eaten at gaming tables and earned immortality when he began eating beef between slices of toast in 1792. (Some dissenters say Montagu stole the idea from a guest, the Earl of Shrewsbury. So it should be a peanut butter shrewsbury, a grilled cheese shrewsbury, a knuckle shrewsbury, etc.) Truly odd sandwiches …
NET: http://bit.ly/sCip1r

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2004 [12] Eric Clapton is made a CBE (Commander Of the Order Of the British Empire) by Princess Anne at Buckingham Palace in London

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2014 [02] NYC’s One World Trade Center officially opens, 13 years after terrorists destroyed the twin towers of the original World Trade Center

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [12] “Jeopardy!” contestant Ken Jennings shatters the record for game show earnings by accumulating $2,197,000

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “Doctor Strange”; “Hacksaw Ridge”; “Trolls” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Use Your Common Sense Day
[Sat] Sausage & Kraut Day
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time ends
[Sun] “Soul Train Awards” (Las Vegas NV)
This Week Is … World Origami Days
This Month Is … Banana Pudding Lovers Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
• If humans evolved from monkeys, how come we still have monkeys?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
• Can a guy named ‘Nick’ have a nickname?
• If ‘inert’ is to be stationary, what is ‘ert’?
• When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
• If kids refuse to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
• If you are bald, what hair color do they put on your driver’s license?
• Do birds pee?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Virtually everybody in the world would recognize Lisa Gherardini, but not by that name. What name is she better known by?
a. Jennifer Lawrence
b. Lady Gaga
c. Mona Lisa [CORRECT. Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by her husband to paint her 509 years ago today in 1507.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ You’re a big recording star. What would you ask for in your tour rider?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I majored in Liberal Arts. Would you like fries with that?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The 5 things that matter to women when dating a man are personality, looks, education, profession, and THIS.
Answer: Income.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It was all so different before everything changed.