Thursday, May 16, 2019 Edition: #6453
Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will not be publishing on Monday, May 20 to observe the Canadian ‘Victoria Day’ holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 21.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ On Monday, “The Voice’s” official Twitter page teased a quick clip featuring the Jonas Brothers and BTS, declaring, “Tomorrow, two of the world’s hottest bands have a special announcement.” The Jonases did show up in a brief video on Tuesday’s show to share the news that they’ll be performing on The Voice finale May 21, and host Carson Daly revealed that Taylor Swift and Brendon Urie will also perform. BTS fans expected a similar announcement from BTS, but there was no appearance by, or even mention of, BTS on Tuesday’s episode. The Voice’s original teaser tweet from Monday — the one that had included BTS — has mysteriously disappeared.
-Yahoo
★ Production on the latest James Bond film has been delayed again, after star Daniel Craig injured his ankle while filming an action sequence in Jamaica. Craig slipped and fell while running, and the subsequent ankle injury resulted in him being flown to the US for treatment. This is not Craig’s first injury on a Bond set: in 2006 he had two teeth knocked out while making “Casino Royale”, he lost a fingertip on “Quantum of Solace” in 2008, and hurt his knee in 2015 while shooting “Spectre”.
(I can see why he wants to pack it in!)
-TheGuardian
★ ABC is reviving the comedy-variety show “Kids Say the Darndest Things” next season, with comedian Tiffany Haddish stepping in to host. Described as a “reimagined” take on the Bill Cosby-hosted show from the late 1990s about the humorous things children say when talking to adults, the new “Kids Say the Darndest Things” will feature “a mix of in-studio segments and taped pieces from across the country, all set in front of a live studio audience.”
-TheWrap
★ “The Big Bang Theory’s” Kaley Cuoco may be wrapping up the biggest role of her career tonight, but that doesn’t mean she’s too big to give back. She and her husband Karl Cook recently dropped in to visit with patients at the Kentucky Children’s Hospital where they spent the day with kids and their families. Posting a series of photos showing her hugging and laughing with the children, Cuoco wrote: “It was truly remarkable to meet the kids one on one and see the smiles spread across their faces.”
-TheBlast
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Trevor Noah, Billie Lourd, Ciara
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Alba, Yara Shahidi, The Head and the Heart
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Kaley Cuoco, Simon Helberg, Kunal Nayyar, Mayim Bialik, Melissa Rauch, the Barenaked Ladies
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Aidy Bryant, John Waters, Sen. Michael Bennet, Johnny Radelat
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Halle Berry, Anjelica Huston, Allison Williams, Carly Rae Jepsen
• “Conan” (TBS): Judd Apatow, Rachel Feinstein (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Bill Hader, Rachael Ray
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Howard Stern
• “The Talk” (CBS): guest co-hosts Brie Bella & Nikki Bella
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hannah Brown, a look behind the scenes of the Broadway musical “Tootsie”
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, Sue Aikens
• “The Big Bang Theory” (CBS): Series finale
• “Unraveling The Mystery: A Big Bang Farewell” (CBS): stars Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco take viewers behind the scenes of the longest-running multi-camera comedy series in television history.
• “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC): Season 15 finale
• “Superstore” (NBC): Season 4 finale
• “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (NBC): Season 20 finale
• “S.W.A.T.” (CBS): Season 2 finale
• “Young Sheldon” (CBS): Season 2 finale
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande – is being sued by a photographer who claims she has no right to post his photos of her on her Instagram page without permission or compensation. Grande has 154 million followers and the photos in question scored 3,392,035 likes. The photog is asking for either the profits she earned from the photos or $25k for each photo, whichever is greater.
• Daddy Yankee – will be one of many big-name performers on Sunday’s “American Idol” season finale. Also scheduled to hit the stage: Adam Lambert, Weezer, Kool & The Gang, Carrie Underwood, Dan + Shay, Kane Brown, Montell Jordan, Jon Pardi & the three “Idol” judges.
• OneRepublic – Their new single ‘Rescue Me’ will be released tomorrow. The group has a number of performances coming up across North America, including at Bottlerock Napa on May 24, Niagara Falls’ Fallsview Casino on July 25 and 26, and Red Rocks Amphitheatre on August 26.
• Madonna — has rejected calls for her to boycott this year’s Eurovision song contest in Israel, saying she will “never stop playing music to suit someone’s political agenda.” The Palestinian-led boycott movement against Israel has urged artists to skip this week’s Eurovision. In a statement, it accused Madonna of “artwashing” and urged her to cancel.
• Poison – Singer Brett Michaels’ daughter, Raine, became a finalist of a model search competition for this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. The 18-year-old documented the experience with behind the scenes videos and snapshots on her Instagram, which boasts more than 87,000 followers.
• Peter Frampton – is streaming his version of ‘The Thrill is Gone’ from his forthcoming covers album “All Blues” (out June 7). He is joined by Sonny Landreth on the song, which was originally released in 1951 by Roy Hawkins, and was a hit for B.B. King in 1969.
• The Doobie Brothers – will release “Live From the Beacon Theatre” on June 28. The album documents a November, 2018 show in New York when they performed 1972’s “Toulouse Street” and its follow-up “The Captain and Me” in their entirety, followed by an encore featuring ‘Take Me in Your Arms (Rock Me)’ and ‘Black Water’, and a reprise of ‘Listen to the Music.’ It will be available on CD and DVD.
• Keith Urban – is teasing his new single, ‘We Were’. A week before the song’s official release, he posted an in-studio snapshot to social media. Check it out HERE
• Morgan Evans – is among The Grand Ole Opry members who will play at Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. Others making appearances at the Manchester, Tennessee, festival on opening night, Thursday, June 13th will be Steve Earle & the Dukes, Ricky Skaggs and Riders in the Sky, Ashley Monroe, Molly Tuttle and Wendy Moten, plus hosts Old Crow Medicine Show.
A REAL EYE-OPENER – AND YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO DRINK IT:
If you thought your $5 morning latte was expensive, think again. Southern California-based Klatch Coffee Roasters has been selling a $75 cup of coffee, but it’s all sold out. The company offered a tasting experience at its San Francisco location on Saturday, and gave people the option to buy. Why is (or was) it so expensive? The coffee shop was roasting the rare “Elida Geisha 803” coffee beans from Panama. They were sold at $803 per pound, the highest price paid for any coffee beans at the “Best of Panama” auction. The auction is referred to as the “Oscars for coffee.” Only 100 pounds of the beans were available for purchase, and Klatch managed to snatch up 10 of them, becoming the only coffee shop in the United States to have it. And here’s the thing: The Elida Geisha 803 is a type of coffee which is made from partially digested coffee beans. The beans are eaten by civets, a cat-like animal, and then (AHEM!) pooped out.
(OK, then. NOW it makes sense!)
(And my fancy coffee-drinking friends say the stuff I get at McDonalds is crap!)
($75 per cup? Somewhere, Starbucks is rubbing its hands together and saying, “Thanks for getting them used to it…”)
-USAToday, CNN
PARTIAL ARTS:
Nunchucks are now legal in Arizona. Gov. Doug Ducey has signed a bill lifting the ban on the martial arts weapons, which was enacted during the Kung Fu movie craze of the 1970s. Nunchucks, or “nunchaku”, were on the state’s list of “prohibited weapons,” along with automatic firearms, sawed-off shotguns, grenades and IEDs. Until Friday, people who practiced martial arts in Arizona faced the risk of a felony charge for possessing nunchucks in public. The state only allowed the weapons to be used in preparation for martial arts competitions. By the way, Arizona residents are allowed to carry guns without permits or licenses.
(There’s gotta be a Chuck Norris joke in here somewhere!)
(Finally, politicians are taking on the important issues!)
(Sure, now everyone can have them, but no one can pronounce them!)
-CNN, NPR
BIG “BIG BANG THEORY” FINALE SECRETS:
☞ The Two-Part Episode Has Tons of Easter Eggs: The one-hour finale is jam-packed with inside jokes and on-set secrets that only true ‘Big Bang’ fans will notice — including a sparkly return and an emotional math problem.
☞ There’s a Surprise Scene at the End: Those who were lucky enough to be at the final live audience taping they thought they were seeing the entire episode. Showrunners say that they pulled one last “Bazinga!” and there’s actually a bonus scene at the very end of the episode that even the audience didn’t get to witness.
☞ And a Shocking Celeb Cameo: The show has had sensational guest stars over the past 12 seasons, but they’ve never had this beloved celeb on the series before.
☞ Spinoff Talks Are Happening: If you’re still not quite ready to say goodbye, take comfort in the fact that showrunner extraordinaire Chuck Lorre has already been brainstorming about how the series could get another spinoff. (We already have “Young Sheldon”) Kaley Cuoco has already said “yes” to playing Penny again, although she hasn’t been asked…
☞ Wait for it…: It was a priority that every castmember have a suitable ending, and a chance to shine in the finale. Executive producer Steve Molaro says: “The final two scenes are what we are most excited about for people to see. We’re really proud of it.”
(And if you find this moment too difficult, be like Sheldon and turn to a force greater than yourself: Star Trek.)
-ET
DID YOU KNOW?
An American undersea explorer has completed what he claims to be the deepest manned sea dive ever recorded. Victor Vescovo journeyed 10,927 meters (35,853 feet) to the bottom of the Challenger Deep, in the Pacific Ocean’s Mariana Trench. He made multiple trips nearly 11 kilometers (7 miles) to the ocean floor, and says that he discovered four new species that could offer clues about the origins of life on Earth — and a plastic bag.
-CNN
BS CHRONOMETER 05.16.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [75] Danny Trejo, Los Angeles VA, movie actor (“Machete”, “Grindhouse”)
1953 [66] Pierce Brosnan, Drogheda, Ireland, movie actor (“Mamma Mia!”, “Die Another Day”) COMING UP…”False Positive”, 2020
1955 [64] Debra Winger, Cleveland Heights OH, movie actress (“An Officer and a Gentleman”, “Terms of Endearment”)/TV actress (“The Ranch” since 2016)
1965 [54] Krist Novoselic, Compton CA, rock bassist (Nirvana-‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’)
1966 [53] Janet Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (‘Rhythm Nation’, ‘Control’)
1969 [50] David Boreanaz, Buffalo NY, TV actor (“SEAL Team” since 2017, “Bones” 2005-2017, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-2003)
1973 [46] Tori Spelling, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-2000, “Tori & Dean: Inn Love” 2008-2010) COMING UP…”BH90210″, 2019
1986 [33] Megan Fox, Rockwood TN, movie actress (“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movies, “Transformers” films) COMING UP…”Zeroville”, 2019
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?
• “Love a Tree Day”, a great day for tree-huggers everywhere. Trees are a good thing. They give us shade, comfort and shelter. They give off oxygen, too.
• “Mimosa Day”, celebrating the cocktail traditionally made with equal parts chilled orange juice and champagne and served in a champagne flute. It was originally created at the Ritz Hotel in Paris, France back in 1925.
• “Piercing Day”, a ‘Hole-y Holiday’ celebrating the practice of puncturing or cutting a part of the human body to create an opening in which jewelry can be worn. (You need another piercing like you need another hole in the head!)
• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’, whose goal is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.
• “Sea Monkey Day”, celebrating the amazing pet that comes alive when placed in water. ‘Sea-Monkeys’ is the brand name for brine shrimp sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom since 1960.
BS DRUM BANGERS:
This month is “National Drum Month”, a good excuse to make fun of the least-respected of all musicians with a few of our fave drummer jokes …
➢ How can you tell when a drummer’s at the door? [The knocking speeds up. Then he doesn’t know when to come in.]
➢ How can you tell when the stage riser is level? [The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.]
➢ What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? [Homeless.]
➢ What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band? [“Hey guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?”]
➢ What’s the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer? [A podiatrist bucks up your feet.]
➢ And the all-time classic: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? [A drummer.]
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Endangered Species Day
[Fri] NASCAR Day
[Sat] Armed Forces Day
[Sat] Museum Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [14] Sony’s PlayStation 3 makes its debut
2011 [08] After 23 years on-air and 1,151 fugitives caught, FOX-TV cancels “America’s Most Wanted”
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1983 [36] Michael Jackson introduces the ‘Moonwalk’ when he busts out the move on the Motown 25th anniversary TV special.
2013 [06] Brit pop singer George Michael is airlifted from an accident scene after tumbling out the passenger door of a moving vehicle onto the 3rd northbound lane of the M1 highway
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1866 [153] Hires Root Beer is created by pharmacist Charles Elmer Hires
1966 [53] ‘Spaghetti-Os’, gooey pink pasta circles in a can, are first marketed
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1991 [28] 14 Stanford University students begin leapfrogging and don’t stop for 10 days and 999.2 miles to set a new Guinness World Record
2013 [06] The oldest water ever found is discovered in a Canadian mine in Timmins ON; estimated to date back 2.6 billion years (How could they tell? The best-before date?)
2014 [05] Archaeologists in Patagonia, Argentina unearth a set of bones that appear to belong to the largest dinosaur yet discovered, thought to have weighed 77 tonnes (85 tons) and to have stood around 20 meters (66 ft) tall
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ A rare tumor called a “limbal dermoid” can cause hair to grow out of a person’s eyeball.
✓ One bat can eat 600 or more mosquitoes in a single hour.
✓ Chimps use medicinal plants to treat themselves for illness and injury.
✓ 99% of Finns take a sauna at least once a week.
✓ 5,840 people in the United States have a last name that ends with their first name, with Donald MacDonald being the most common.
✓ The word “school” comes from the ancient Greek for “free time.”
-WhattheFFacts
BS PICKUP LINES FOR ROBOTS:
• “Can I binary you a drink?”
• “WD-40 and chill?”
• “I find you riveting.”
• “I’m not saying I’ve got a virus, but I’d certainly corrupt you.”
• “My docking station or yours?”
• “Nice bits!”
• “You compute me.”
• “You’re just the type of robot that I could take home to my motherboard.”
• “Are those real, or were you upgraded in Silicon Valley?”
• “Beep boop boop beep.”
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS GRADUATION GIFT FAILS:
• A McDonald’s application
• New carpet for the basement
• A lifetime subscription to ‘World Of Warcraft’
• A box of ramen noodles
• A timer counting down to your first student loan payment
• An itemized bill of all of your life and school expenses up to this point
• A baby
• Anything that isn’t money or a job
• An eviction notice
• Thoughts and prayers.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the boldest (or strangest) thing you’ve done out of impulse?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Thursday doesn’t even count as a day, it’s just the thing that’s blocking Friday.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Almost 5 per cent of us say they’ve never washed THIS. What is it?
Answer: Their jeans
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, The pessimist, the parachute.
