May 22 2019

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Wednesday, May 22, 2019 Edition: #6456

Accept No Substitutes, Ask For 100% Pure BS!

★ Administrators appointed to celebrity chef Jamie Oliver’s British restaurant empire have closed all but three of the company’s restaurants. The company includes 22 of Oliver’s Italian restaurants in the UK as well as his Fifteen and Barbecoa restaurants. About 1,300 jobs are affected. Trouble has been brewing for Oliver’s empire for some time, and it has been seeking a new investor. In a statement, Oliver said: “I am deeply saddened by this outcome and would like to thank all of the people who have put their hearts and souls into this business over the years.”
★ Move over “Game of Thrones” coffee cup — and make way for “Game of Thrones” water bottles. Two weeks after viewers spotted a stray cup sitting in front of Daenerys Targaryen on the show, two different water bottles were seen on screen during a pivotal scene in the series finale that aired on Sunday night. While many “GoT” fans made the same “A Song of Coffee and Water” jokes, many others have equated the two mishaps with the show’s drop in quality in the final season.
(And many others created memes about it!)
★ Chris Rock had a busy Sunday when he opened himself up for questions from fans, and not only revealed some details on his new “Saw” project, but also explained why he’s the worst Illuminati member in the secret organization. Other things we learned in Rock’s Instagram Q&A:
-He cried when Adam Sandler sang a tribute to Chris Farley on “SNL”
-He’s never hit on Halle Berry … because she likes attractive men
-He’d be most nervous to follow Dave Chappelle on stage
-He doesn’t know if he’ll ever run for office, but he’d like to be President right now
-He is in the Illuminati but he’s not a very active member. Quote: “I’m not good with follow up.”
★ Denise Richards and John Schneider have joined the cast of the upcoming teenage faith-based movie, “Switched”. It tells the story of an ultra-popular high schooler who switches bodies with the girl she torments, thanks to a night time prayer. Filming is currently underway in Louisville, Kentucky.
★ Guy Fieri will be honored with the 2,664th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this morning.  According to the Walk of Fame, the chef, restaurateur, New York Times bestselling-author, Emmy Award-winning television host and executive producer began his love affair with food at the age of ten, selling soft pretzels from a three-wheeled bicycle cart he built with his father called “The Awesome Pretzel Cart.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): John Travolta, Ella Bleu Travolta, Lala Milan, Chika
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Millie Bobby Brown, Jeff Ross, Richard Curtis, Lang Lang
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sen. Kamala Harris, Kaitlyn Dever
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Lithgow, Beanie Feldstein, Julián Castro, Sebastian Thomson
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Elizabeth Banks, Bradley Whitford, David Tennant, Billy Ray Cyrus
• “Conan” (TBS): Lisa Kudrow
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ramona Singer, Tracy Pollan
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Eric Stonestreet, Dan Abrams
• “The Talk” (CBS): Rick Springfield, guest co-host Diana  Maria Riva
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kevin Hart, DJ Khaled, Chris Janson
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Tom Hanks
• “Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Norman Lear’s ‘All in the Family’ and ‘The Jeffersons'” (ABC): Jimmy Kimmel and Norman Lear present a live re-creation of classic sitcom episodes with a cast that includes Woody Harrelson, Marisa Tomei, Kerry Washington, Jamie Foxx, Wanda Sykes, Ellie Kemper, Justina Machado, Anthony Anderson, Sean Hayes, Ike Barinholtz, and Will Ferrell.
• “The Butcher” (HISTORY): Season premiere. Four masters of the butchery craft bring their knives and skills to the meat competition.
• “Whiskey Cavalier” (ABC): Season 1 finale
• “SEAL Team” (CBS): Season 2 finale

• Rihanna – will release her luxury Fenty collection in partnership with LVMH later this month.  According to her, “It’s sweatpants with pearls, or a masculine denim jacket with a corset. “I feel like we live in a world where people are embracing every bit of who they are. Look at Jaden Smith, Childish Gambino. They dare you to tell them not to.”
• Drake – His old notebook, featuring lyrics written when he was a teenager, is up for sale for $35,000. The notebook, from around 2000, includes a journal entry about buying a Lacoste jacket for $171 and mentions another LaCoste shirt and a hat as ”must-haves”, as well as Adidas sneakers and various items from Nike.
• Aretha Franklin — Three handwritten wills have been found in her suburban Detroit home, months after her death. The most recent one is dated March 2014 and appears to give her assets to family members. Some writing is extremely hard to decipher. Franklin’s lawyer filed the wills on Monday, telling a judge that he’s not sure if they’re legal under Michigan law.
• The Lumineers – have released their new video for ‘Gloria’, depicting the struggles of an alcoholic mother. ‘Gloria’ is the first single from their upcoming third studio album, “III”, out September 13th. The album will consist of three chapters, each its own separate EP and revolving around a separate character across different generations in the fictional Sparks family.
• David Byrne – The former Talking Heads frontman is bringing his “American Utopia” show to Broadway. The production, titled after Byrne’s seventh solo studio album, will take up residency at the 1,500-capacity Hudson Theatre for 16 weeks beginning Oct. 4.
• Whitney Houston — Her estate has revealed plans for a new album of unreleased tracks from the late singer, as well as a tour featuring her hologram. Estate executor (and Whitney’s sister-in-law) Pat Houston says there are is also a Broadway musical in the works.
• Sinead O’Connor – has announced that she will release a new album, “No Mud, No Lotus” under the name she has adopted since converting to Islam, Shuhada Sadaqat. She’s planning to tour internationally after the album’s release, expected next year.
• Jon Pardi – will release his third studio album, “Heartache Medication”, on Sept. 27. The single of the same name drops June 3. He and Thomas Rhett also teamed up on ‘Beer Can’t Fix’, which will be included on Rhett’s “Center Point Road” album.
• Eli Young Band — have scored their first No. 1 single in more than five years. ‘Love Ain’t’ is their first chart topper since ‘Drunk Last Night’ in December, 2013.
• Caylee Hammack – says that although her pal Luke Bryan inspired her to move to Nashville, she never told him when she actually relocated. She says that when she eventually got a record deal with Capitol, the same label that Bryan records for, “That’s when he called me, and he’s like, ‘Why did you not tell me you moved to Nashville?’”

It may not have taken a study to tell you this, but it has been determined that rich people think they are better than everyone else…even when they’re not.  Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people in higher social classes tend to think they are more adept at certain tasks — whether it is true or not — than their lower-class peers. And that overconfidence is often seen by others as competence, which can help them in situations like job interviews.  Researchers determined that people with more education, higher income and higher social class had “an exaggerated” belief that they performed better – at tasks, in interviews, and even when taking tests or quizzes. The lead researcher says that this shows that “social class shapes the attitudes that people hold about their abilities and that, in turn, has implications for how class hierarchies perpetuate from one generation to the next.”
(He’s right.  It shows how people of every generation learn to hate the rich!)
(But the rich do serve a very important role. Without them, we wouldn’t have anyone to make the “hoity-toity” face behind their backs!)
(I always dreamed of being a millionaire like my uncle.  No, he’s not rich…he’s dreaming of being a millionaire too!)

Maybe social media isn’t so bad for our teenagers after all. The rap has always been that the use of social media is depriving today’s teens of human connection, forcing them to compete with unrealistic lifestyles, and ultimately making them depressed, lonely and unhappy. But new research from the Oxford Internet Institute found that social media has very limited effects on the average teenager’s well-being. Amy Orben, a co-author of the study, says, “We’re not saying there’s no adolescent out there who is positively or negatively affected by social media. But taken on average, the grave amount of concern at the moment is overblown.”
(She’s right.  Now, video games, on the other hand…)
(You’ve got to admit, teens have always been kinda moody…)
(Maybe the biggest thing we should be concerned about is the fact that they can spend all day staring at their phones rather than actually DOING something!)

Dr. Patricia Farris, a dermatologist and fellow of the American Academy of Dermatology, says that while it’s true that we should always wear sunscreen as well as sunglasses and hats when the weather turns warmer, when it comes to protecting yourself from the sun, eating certain foods is almost as important. Here are some of her suggestions:
➢ Tomatoes:  High in antioxidants, which are you best friends when it comes to limiting damage from the sun.  Pink grapefruit and watermelon are beneficial in this area as well.
➢ Sweet potatoes and spinach:  They are rich in beta carotene, which decreases redness in skin after sun exposure. Also: carrots, mangoes, apricots, cantaloupe and kale. (Kale?  Still not worth it…)
➢ Berries, grapes and pomegranate:  Contain sun-protective polyphenols, which have antioxidant properties.
➢ Oranges, grapefruit and kiwi:  loaded with vitamin C, which protects against free radical damage that can cause skin aging.
➢ Fatty fish:  The omega-3s from fish oil can make sunburn less severe and prevent the development of skin cancer. Salmon, sardines, herring and trout are good sources of omega-3s.
➢ Flaxseeds and walnuts:  These are plant-based sources of omega-3s.
➢ Coffee and green tea:  Coffee can lower the risk of malignant melanoma, green tea may protect the skin from sun damage and skin cancer.
(Edibles.  Is there anything they CAN’T do?)

Fast walkers appear to live longer than dawdlers, regardless of their weight. Researchers in the UK found that women who walked briskly had a life expectancy of between 86-88 years. Slow walkers were found to live to 72 on average. Men who walked fast lived to age 87, while slow-walking men had a life expectancy of just 65. The ratio held true even if the walkers were severely overweight.


1950 [69] Bernie Taupin, Sleaford UK, lyricist (Elton John’s songwriting partner-‘Candle In the Wind’, ‘Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me’)

1959 [60] (Steven) Morrissey, Manchester UK, alt-rock singer (‘You Have Killed Me’, The Smiths-‘How Soon is Now?’)

1968 [51] Michael Kelly, Philadelphia PA, TV actor (‘Doug Stamper’ on “House of Cards” 2013-18)

1970 [49] Naomi Campbell, London UK, fashion model, actress, activist (‘Empire’ 2015-16, ‘American Horror Story: Hotel’ 2015)

1978 [41] Ginnifer Goodwin, Memphis TN, TV actress (‘Mary Margaret Blanchard/Snow White’ on “Once Upon a Time” 2011-18)

1979 [40] Maggie Q (Margaret Quigley), Honolulu HI, TV actress (‘Hannah Wells’ on “Designated Survivor” since 2016, “Nikita” 2010-13)/movie actress (“Divergent” films, “Mission: Impossible III”) COMING UP…”Fantasy Island”, 2020

• “Canadian Immigrants Day”, celebrating the many contributions made by immigrants to Canada. Hey, if you go back far enough … we’re all immigrants.

• “Maritime Day”, an annual observance to recognize the maritime industry. Har, hoist that bilge, matey!

• “World Goth Day”, celebrating the goth scene and exposing it to the rest of the world. The subculture of music & fashion is often associated with dark attire, makeup, and hair.

• “Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day”. But respect your neighbors … don’t make it drums! (Can you believe my neighbor pounded on my wall until 3am last night? Fortunately, I was up late playing my drums….)

• “International Day for Biological Diversity”, created by the UN to increase understanding and awareness of biodiversity issues.

• “Vanilla Pudding Day”, creamy pudding we know and love today has been around since the 19th century. Jell-O introduced its first line of instant pudding in the 1950s. The advertising campaign announcing the new product promoted it as a “busy-day dessert”.

[Thurs] Lucky Penny Day
[Thurs] World Turtle Day
[Fri] Brother’s Day
[Fri] Asparagus Day

1992 [27] Johnny Carson makes his final appearance as host of “The Tonight Show”

2004 [15] Michael Moore’s controversial documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11″ wins the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival (sequel “Fahrenheit 11/9″ about the Trump administration was released in 2018)

2015 [03] Country singer and actress Jana Kramer marries former NFL player Mike Caussin

2017 [02] Minutes after an Ariana Grande concert ends at the Manchester Arena in England, a suicide bomber detonates a device, killing 22 and injuring at least 60 others in an act of terrorism.

2003 [16] Golfer Annika Sorenstam becomes the 1st woman to play in a PGA men’s tour event in 58 years (Fort Worth TX)

2012 [07] Japan’s Tokyo Skytree is opened to the public, the tallest tower in the world (634 m/2,080 ft) and the 2nd-tallest structure after the Burj Khalifa (829.8 m/2,722 ft)


✓ You could swim through syrup just as fast as you can swim through water, even though it is many times thicker.
✓ Continents split up at the same speed fingernails grow.
✓ Americans throw away US$62 million worth of coins every year.
✓ There are more statues of lions in the world than there are real wild lions.
✓ There is a species of bison with the scientific name “Bison bison bison.”
✓ Sean Connery was once pulled over and fined by a British police officer for speeding. The officer’s name was Sergeant James Bond.

• ‘I Like Big Books and I Cannot Lie’
• ‘Braindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head’
• ‘Thesis How We Do it’
• ‘Algorithm Nation’
• ‘Like an Einstein Cowboy’
• ‘Amazing Grades’
• ‘867-53.1415926/Jenny’
• ‘Scholarly Fields Forever’
• ‘It’s Raining Mensa’
• ‘The Rational Anthem’

Best of BS . . .

• A whole month without dropping the phone in the toilet.
• A year of gym membership…without ever actually setting foot in the place.
• Second ‘drunk and disorderly’ arrest.
• Popping your 10th pimple of the day.
• Someone liked my Tweet.
• 15 years single.
• Don’t know one song in the Top 20.
• Finally featured on an episode of “Cops”.
• ‘Friend-zoned’ for the 5th time this month.
• Baby’s first swear word.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

What’s the best ‘Song of the Summer’ ever?

• Composer Ludwig Van Beethoven began to lose his sense of WHAT when he was 28 years old?
a. hearing [CORRECT]
b. sight
c. smell
d. style

• According to the song, what eventually killed the old lady who swallowed the fly?
a. a cow
b. a fly
c. a horse [CORRECT]
d. booze

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.

Question:  22% of people say they knew they were getting older when THIS started happening on a regular basis. What is it?
Answer:  Forgetting where they left their glasses

Find what you love and do that … every single day.



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