Friday, July 14, 2023 – Edition: #7516

Get a Load of This Sheet!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One” kicked off to $15.5 million on opening day. Paramount and Skydance’s big-budget tentpole, which is the 7th installment in the Tom Cruise-led action franchise, is projected to collect at least $60 million between Friday and Sunday. In its first 5 days of release, ticket sales for “Dead Reckoning Part One” are expected to reach $85-95 million in North America and $160 million at the international box office, for a strong global start of $250 million.
-Variety
★ Because, of COURSE it is. A documentary on Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski crash trial is on its way. Just 3 months after a jury found retired optometrist Terry Sanderson 100% at fault in the collision case, a documentary about the trial is coming to Warner Bros. Discovery UK and Ireland. The 2-part special, will debut sometime later this year. Paltrow was granted her a symbolic request of $1 in damages in the trial. Sanderson was seeking $300,000, accusing her of running into his back while skiing in 2016. He initially sought $3.1 million, claiming he sustained a “brain injury, 4 broken ribs and other serious injuries.” (There. Now you don’t have to watch it!)
-E!
★ Kevin Costner reportedly wants “revenge” on his estranged wife, Christine Baumgartner. A source, described as a close friend of Costner’s ex, told the Daily Mail that the “Yellowstone” actor wanted to “humiliate” Baumgartner after she filed for divorce. Quote: “This isn’t about the house, it’s about making Christine’s life a living hell for actually going through with the divorce.” The former handbag designer must vacate their Santa Barbara mansion by the end of the month after a judge reinforced the premarital agreement they both signed in 2004.
-PageSix
★ Fox has finally unveiled its fall schedule and, as expected, it’s full of unscripted series and animated shows. And the fact that it is leaning entirely on reality shows and animated series, as well as wrestling, isn’t a surprise given the fact that the writers strike has disrupted production, and actors are set to strike too. The following shows are in limbo, for the time being: “9-1-1: Lone Star”, “The Cleaning Lady”, “Accused”, “Alert: Missing Persons Unit”, and “Animal Control”.
-Deadline
★ “Barry” star Anthony Carrigan, who just scored an Emmy nom, has been cast as good-guy hero ‘Metamorpho’ in DC Studios’ “Superman: Legacy”. The 3-time Emmy nominee joins an ensemble that includes Isabela Merced as ‘Hawkgirl, Edi Gathegi as ‘Mister Terrific’ and Nathan Fillion as ‘Guy Gardner’.  James Gunn’s DC reboot stars David Corenswet as the ‘Man of Steel’, and Rachel Brosnahan as ‘Lois Lane’. The movie’s targeted release date is July, 2025.
-TheWrap
★ Laura Linney jumped into action when a projector malfunctioned midway through a screening for her new movie “The Miracle Club.” The “Ozark” actress advised the crowd to get up and stretch their legs or use the bathroom, as employees at the Tribeca Screening Room in New York attempted to get the movie back up and running. She also took the time to chat with pals and her mom, who came along as her plus-one. When it became apparent that the projector wasn’t going to co-operate, Linney stood by the door and personally thanked each guest for coming, as they left.
-PageSix

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jason Bateman, Action Bronson (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): James Corden, Jenna Ortega, Mike Feeney (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mariah Carey, Kumail Nanjiani (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Andy Samberg, Chris O’Dowd (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of hot topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kenya Moore, Shereé Whitfield (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Jenny Mollen co-hosts
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Ana Gasteyer, Phil Dunster (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Guy Branum, Billy Eichner, Luke Macfarlane (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Boris Kodjoe (R)
• “Tough as Nails” (CBS): Season 3 winner Lia Mort returns to guide the crews through a series of challenges.
• “CMT Summer Sessions” (CMT) Chris Janson shares new music and some of his big hits at a beautiful lake in Tennessee.

SATURDAY:
• “2023 WNBA All-Star Game” (ABC): A’ja Wilson and Breanna Stewart captain teams of the WNBA’s best. From Michelob ULTRA Arena in Las Vegas.
• “Baking It” (NBC): Season 2 premiere. Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler welcome new teams to the cabin, starting things off with a bang by asking them to recreate a cake that just exploded.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Austin Butler; musical guest Lizzo (R)

SUNDAY:
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Neil Patrick Harris vs. David Burtka & The Cast of Drag Me to Dinner and Nikki Glaser vs. Bebe Rexha
• “The Chosen” (CW): Series premiere. A biblical series based on events surrounding the ministry years of Jesus Christ. It follows the backstory of a few well-known characters before they meet Jesus.
• “The Real Housewives of New York City” (BRAVO): Season 14 premiere
• “Barbie Dreamhouse Challenge” (HGTV): Series premiere. Eight teams turn a house in California into a real-life Barbie Dreamhouse, and one lucky Barbie lover will get the chance to stay there.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• One Direction — Zayn Malik admits that One Direction were “sick of each other” by the time he left the group. He shocked fans in 2015 when he announced he was quitting the group, and in his first interview in 6 years, he now says he saw the breakup of the group coming, and “selfishly wanted to be the first person to go and make my own record.” He’ll release the solo single ‘Love Like This’ on July 21.
• Demi Lovato — is continuing the “Rockvato” era with another rock version of one of her biggest pop hits. This week, she revealed that her new version of ‘Sorry Not Sorry’ will feature Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash – and it drops today! LINK: https://tinyurl.com/378h7b7b
• Fleetwood Mac — An unissued song by Christine McVie called ‘Little Darlin’ was released Wed., on what would have been her 80th birthday. It was recorded during the sessions for her 2004 solo album “In the Meantime”, and is included in a new mix, available now. McVie died in November. LINK:  https://tinyurl.com/mr2e3ww7
• Judas Priest – If case you haven’t heard. They’ve agreed to step in and replace Ozzy Osbourne as a headliner at “Power Trip”, the hard rock festival set for California in October. Ozzy announced on Monday that he would be pulling out of the festival due to his health.
• The Doors – The new box set “Live at the Matrix 1967: The Original Masters” will drop Sept. 8. The limited collection will be available in 3-CD and 5-LP configurations, and is culled from 5 shows the group played while on the cusp of stardom. The performances have been bootlegged for years.
• Shania Twain – will release a number of different, re-mastered editions of her “Come on Over” album, to celebrate the 25^th anniversary of its release. It will be completely remastered from the original tapes, and will be made available on Aug. 25. Come on Over is both the top-selling country album and the highest-selling album by a female artist — of any genre — of all time.
• Morgan Wade — has released a new song with an intriguing title: ‘80’s Movie’. It’s the latest preview of her forthcoming album “Psychopath”, out August 25. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bdfsm4r7
• Garth Brooks – will headline the first-ever Country Kickoff to the 2023 NCAA football season. Lainey Wilson and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band will also perform at the event, set for Saturday, Sept. 2 at the Caesars Superdome in New Orleans. Tickets go on sale July 21. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/8wxs4dmj

SHOOTING THE BULL

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One” (PG-13, Action/Adventure – opened on Wednesday): Ethan Hunt and the IMF team must track down a terrifying new weapon that threatens all of humanity if it falls into the wrong hands. With control of the future and the fate of the world at stake, a deadly race around the globe begins. (Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames) Tomatometer: 96%, Audience: 93%
• “The Miracle Club” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama, Limited): There’s just one dream for the women of Ballygar to taste freedom: to win a pilgrimage to the sacred French town of Lourdes. With a bit of help from the local priest, a group of close friends get their ticket of a lifetime. (Laura Linney, Kathy Bates, Maggie Smith) Tomatometer: 74%
• “Theater Camp” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama, Limited): Eccentric staff members of an upstate New York theater camp must band together when their beloved founder falls into a coma. (Ben Platt, Molly Gordon) Tomatometer: 77%

EAT, DRINK, AND BE CHUBBY:
It’s the news that you ABSOLUTELY wanted to hear – and if it isn’t, you can’t go out for dinner with my crowd! Surprising new research says that being…shall we say…”stout”…doesn’t mean you’re headed to an early grave. The Rutgers University study suggests body mass index (BMI) may not increase mortality independently of other risk factors in adults. The findings come after looking at a massive dataset covering the health info of over 500,000 American adults spanning 2 decades. The researchers say they found that all-cause mortality risk was similar across a wide range of BMI categories. They also pointed out, though, that being overweight still may contribute to a number of medical conditions.
(…none of which is tight abs…just ask me!)
(I’m fully aware of the fact that people tend to become “little old ladies” and “little old men” as they age. I figure that having a big belly is simply my way of preventing that from happening too soon!)
-StudyFinds

WORD TO REMEM-“BER”:
It’s not the type of development you’d expect to come from a mathematical scientist, but one of them claims to have come up with the world’s ultimate swear word, using…science! MSc student Sophie Maclean, who has a BA in Mathematics, has written a code which can read an existing list of swearwords and analyze their qualities, to create a new one. So, what curse did the code come up with? According to maths, the ultimate swearword is “banger” – or ‘ber’ for short. I know. That’s a little disappointing after such a build-up. MacLean herself agrees – to a point. Quote: “I think neither is as satisfying as (the classic swear words you might use) when you’ve stubbed your toe, or…when you realize you’ve forgotten your parent’s birthday. But both feel like they could be quite good insults for people.”
(Well, it’s not a REAL swear word until someone has rapped it!)
(Taking into account the fact that I’ve just used that word on-air, I guess we’ll just wait a few years for it to catch on – and see if I’ve just gotten myself fired!)
-ScienceFocus

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man’s attempt to rob an Atlanta nail salon last week didn’t quite go as planned. An unidentified suspect ― with his hand in a bag as if he were holding a weapon ― stormed into the Nail First salon demanding money. Despite the fact that the man shouted: “Everybody get down! Give me all your money!”, surveillance video shows he was ignored by both customers and employees. The salon owner even decided it was OK to answer the phone during the attempted robbery, and a customer casually stood up to go outside, although the suspect snatched her phone as she walked. Eventually, the humiliation was too much for the suspect, who left the salon in a silver sedan, according to police. He’s still at large. (Actually, he tried to turn himself in at the police station, but…you guessed it…) LINK: https://youtu.be/GZ43YcnLyEI
➢ Police responding to a report of a screaming woman were surprised to discover the source of the suspicious sound was actually — a squawking pet parrot. Steve Wood of Essex, England said he was confused when police showed up at his home. But then he opened the door to find 2 laughing police officers, and one said: “Don’t worry mate, I think we’ve got this one sussed.” The officers explained they had received a report of a screaming woman, but when they arrived at Wood’s home, it immediately became clear that the sound was actually the squawking of one of the 22 pet parrots that live there. Wood said he is “just surprised it hasn’t happened previously.” (We’re NOT surprised, however, to hear he’s single!)
-HuffPost, UPI

DID YOU KNOW?
Choose wisely. That hot dog you’re looking forward to grilling up this weekend could shorten your “healthy life” by up to 36 minutes. On the other hand, eating a serving of cashews instead may extend it by 26 minutes! In a study, University of Michigan researchers found that substituting just 10% of your usual daily caloric intake from beef and processed meats with a mixture of fruits, vegetables, nuts, legumes, and some seafoods may extend your “healthy life” significantly…and help preserve the environment. (When researchers talk about “healthy living,” they’re referring to the ability to live life without having to deal with fragility, sickness, or disability.)
(Trust me: ANYTHING cooked by me is gonna shorten my life by at least 26 minutes…)
-StudyFinds

BS CHRONOMETER 07.14.23

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “The Happiest Day of the Year”, as calculated by the UK’s Dr Cliff Arnall. He decided that July 14^th is the cheeriest day of the year by using a simple formula that includes the good weather and extra daylight hours enjoyed today, plus the start of the weekend, and recent beginning of school summer holidays. Other research has given the “happiest day” designation to June 20, but if the doctor says it’s today, we’ll take it!
• “Bastille Day”, the national holiday in France that commemorates the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789, when patriots stormed the Bastille prison. (“Off with their heads!”)
• “Grand Marnier Day”, celebrating the cognac concoction that’s used in mixed drinks (ie: Cosmopolitan) and in desserts (ie: Crêpe Suzette). It was an 1880s French invention by one Alexandre Marnier-Lapostolle.
• “International Non-Binary People’s Day”, aimed at raising awareness and organizing around the issues faced by non-binary people. The day was first celebrated in 2012, and the date was chosen for being precisely between International Men’s Day and International Women’s Day.
• “Shark Awareness Day”, to point out that these magnificent creatures are more threatened by people than people are by sharks. Demand for shark-fin soup and shark-tooth medallions combine to make sharks endangered, with millions killed each year. (“Shark Week” on Discovery begins July 23!)
• “Nude Day”, a serious celebration of the ‘naturist’ lifestyle. (Then why does everyone laugh if they see me naked?)
• “Mac & Cheese Day”, an annual salute to the cheap food that we couldn’t have made it through college without. In Canada, the most popular brand is known as “Kraft Dinner”. In the US and Australia, it’s called “Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner” or “Mac & Cheese”, and in the UK, it’s “Macaroni Cheese” or “Cheesey Pasta”. (Ketchup on it, or no? Go!)
• “Pandemonium Day”, a day to embrace and even celebrate the pandemonium that often seems to surround us. (AKA – “Kid’s Day”!)
• “Tape Measure Day”, a great day to bust out the tape measure, buy a new one, or give one as a gift. There’s definitely one nestled in your toolkit or crammed in the back of a junk drawer. (I keep one in my panic room. Because desperate times call for desperate measures!)

SATURDAY:
• “Be a Dork Day”, an annual excuse to wear goofy clothing, not brush your teeth, eat yucky food, and trip over your own feet. (In other words, act normal.)
• “Give Something Away Day”, an opportunity to share some of your bounty, whether it be buying a meal for someone, donating clothing, or giving flowers to someone confined to their home. (#GiveSomethingAwayDay)
• “Gummi Worm Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey candies first created by German company Trolli in 1981. ‘Gummi’ means ‘rubber’ in German.
• “Pet Fire Safety Day”, a day to consider ways to keep your 4-legged friend(s) safe from house fires. The #1 tip is to have an escape plan that includes your pets. (Some fire stations offer free Pet Fire Safety window stickers, so first responders know to look for any pets inside, in the event of a fire.)
• “Saint Swithun’s Day”, honoring the 7th-century Bishop of Winchester. According to legend, if it rains on St Swithun’s Day, it’ll rain for the next 40 days. If it is clear, no rain will fall for 40 days. (Sort of a saintly Groundhog Day…)
• “Tapioca Pudding Day”, While we observed “Tapioca Day” on June 28, today, we should make it a point to enjoy it as a pudding. Or, get adventurous, and try it in soup, beverages, or a baked good.
• “I Love Horses Day”, to salute a greatly-loved animal and pet. Horses played an important part in history by helping us explore new territories, deliver mail, and have served in wars. Horses such as Silver, Trigger, and Mr. Ed have even become TV stars.

SUNDAY:
• “Fresh Spinach Day”, an occasion to make use of some healthful leafy greens in your favorite recipes. Spinach & sharp cheese omelet, anyone?
• “World Snake Day”, an annual celebration by wildlife enthusiasts of the age-old fascination with these beautiful but misunderstood creatures. (Snakes are so creepy that even snakes are afraid of snakes…)
• “Guinea Pig Appreciation Day”, as far as small fuzzies go, the Guinea Pig is certainly one of the world’s favorites. Having been domesticated in South America for thousands of years, they’re one of the longest-serving companions to humans. (Be sure to keep them away from those snakes!)
• “Personal Chefs Day”, an annual reminder to consider hiring a private chef for a day, a unique way to entertain friends and business guests in your home. It’s not as costly as you might think. (Funny enough, there is also a Personal Chef Day in February. Was this part of the contract?)
• “Corn Fritter Day”, a celebration of comfort food and simple cooking. With some corn, egg, flour, milk, and melted butter, anyone can throw together a batch of these side-dish favorites. Add your own favorite ingredients to spice them up, or create your very own fritter monstrosity. (Sardines and chocolate chips, anyone?)

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [75] Tommy Mottola, The Bronx NY, music executive (head of Sony Music for 15 years)/former talent manager (Hall & Oates, Carly Simon)/married to Mariah Carey 1993-98, Thalia since 2000

1960 [63] Jane Lynch, Dolton IL, TV host (“Hollywood Game Night” 2013-20, “The Weakest Link” since 2020)/TV actress (“Glee” 2009-15)/movie actress (“The 40-Year-Old Virgin”, “Talladega Nights”)

1966 [57] Matthew Fox, Abington PA, TV Actor (‘Charlie Salinger’ in “Party of Five” 1994-2000, ‘Jack Shephard’ in “Lost” 2004-2010)

1975 [48] Jamey Johnson, Enterprise AL, country singer (‘In Color’, ‘The Dollar’)/country songwriter (‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk’, ‘Give It Away’)

1975 [48] Taboo (Jaime Gomez), LA CA, hip-hop musician-MC-dancer (Black Eyed Peas-‘I Gotta Feeling’, ‘Where Is the Love?’)

1985 [38] Phoebe Waller-Bridge, London England, TV actress (“Fleabag” 2016-19)/movie actress (“Solo: A Star Wars Story”)

1987 [36] Dan Reynolds, Las Vegas NV, pop-rock singer (Imagine Dragons-‘Demons’, ‘Radioactive’)

1988 [35] Conor McGregor, Dublin Ireland, MMA fighter/boxer (Ultimate Fighting Champion 2013-2016)/Forbes’ 2021 “World’s highest paid athlete”, earning a reported $180 million

SATURDAY- Linda Ronstadt (‘When Will I Be Loved’) is 77; Terry O’Quinn (“Lost”) is 71; rock guitarist Joe Satriani is 67; Forest Whitaker (“The Butler”) is 62; Brigitte Nielsen (“Rocky IV”) is 60; Adam Savage (“Mythbusters”) is 56; Scott Foley (“Scandal”) is 51; Brian Austin Green (“Beverly Hills, 90210”) is 50; Diane Kruger (“Inglourious Basterds”) is 47; Taylor Kinney (“Chicago Fire”) is 42; Iain Armitage (“Young Sheldon”) is 15

SUNDAY- Jimmy Johnson (“Fox NFL Sunday”) is 80; Stewart Copeland (The Police) is 73; Phoebe Cates (“Fast Times at Ridgemont High”) is 60; Will Ferrell (“Anchorman”) is 56; Corey Feldman (“The Lost Boys”) is 52; Jayma Mays (“The Millers”) is 44; AnnaLynne McCord (“90210”) is 36; Luke Hemmings (5 Seconds of Summer) is 27

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [15] “The Dark Knight”, starring Christian Bale and Heath Ledger, premieres in New York. (Becomes the highest-grossing film of 2008 and nets a posthumous ‘Best Supporting Actor’ Oscar for Ledger)

2012 [11] London’s West End closes its all-time longest-running musical, “Chicago”, after 15 years

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2018 [05] Drake breaks his own record for most entries on the Hot 100 at once when he places 27 songs on the tally, following the release of his album “Scorpion”.

2015 [08] Las Vegas Coroner’s Office confirms blues legend BB King died of natural causes stemming from Alzheimer’s disease, not murder (2 of his daughters alleged he was poisoned by associates)

TODAY’S FIRST. . .
2015 [08] NASA’s “New Horizons” probe performs the first flyby of Pluto (launched in 2006 and travelling over 3 billion miles, it continues transmitting data for the next 16 months)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ A study found that dunking an Oreo in milk for 3 seconds gives the optimal balance of sogginess and structural integrity.
✓ LEGO has an underground vault containing every set ever made.
✓ Like casinos, shopping malls are intentionally designed to disorient visitors.
✓ The first person convicted of speeding (in 1896) was going 8 mph (13kph).
✓ That wonderful “new car smell” is actually a combination of the scents of 50+ chemicals.
✓ Goldfish can distinguish the music of one composer from another.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, MentalFloss

Best of BS . . .
BS SUGARCOATING BAD NEWS:
• “We had to amputate your legs, but the guy in the next bed would like to buy your slippers.”
• “Just think of jail as a vacation from your family.”
• “On the plus side, you won’t have to pay an inheritance tax.”
• “It’s not contagious.”
• “I don’t like you, but I’m sure somebody will.”
• “Yes you did sprain your ankle after slipping in dog poo, but it was Bill Gates’ dog.
• “Sorry to hear about your divorce. Try to think of your bank account as “half-full”…
• “The surgery was a success, but you’re still ugly.”
• “You’re always saying that you’re so hungry you could eat a horse…”
• “Yes, that dress does make you look fat, but big butts are in.”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Scientists say working for a ‘bad boss’ will more than likely ruin your marriage. (Especially if your boss is Simon Cowell…)
➠ Kylie Jenner just uploaded some scantily-clad bikini vids on TikTok. (She wanted to take a break from posting her theories on particle acceleration…)
➠ The ESPY’s aired on Wednesday night. (Isn’t it amazing that even the presenting of the baseball awards is more boring than the presenting of other awards?)
➠ The Rolling Stones performed their first onstage gig (at London’s Marquee Club) on this week in 1962. (And now, some 61 years later, they plan another tour. (Keith Richards marked the occasion by somehow being alive one more day…)
➠ Thursday was National French Fry Day. (Which means, of course, that today is National Pimple Day…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Weekend goals:  https://tinyurl.com/4pwhphja

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I haven’t been this excited about Friday since last Friday.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the weirdest thing about modern life that people just accept as normal?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Over half of us will do THIS at some point this weekend. What is it?
Answer:  Sweep

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.