Friday, September 3, 2021 — Edition: #7060
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Monday September 6, the Labour Day holiday. The Bull Sheet will resume on Tuesday, September 7th. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service day.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ We’re about to find out if Olivia Jade’s a real dancer. She’s joining the star-studded cast of “Dancing with the Stars.” The daughter of Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli will be back in the public eye in a big way for season 30 of the popular celebrity dance competition. Though the official cast won’t be announced until next week, it has been confirmed that the woman wearing a visor seen being escorted into the show’s rehearsal studio was, in fact, Olivia Jade. It appears her partner will be Val Chmerkovskiy.
★ “Shark Tank” stars Kevin O’Leary and Kevin Harrington are facing allegations of promoting a “predatory fraud scheme.” The two businessmen have been named in a lawsuit filed by 20 hopeful entrepreneurs from across the US, accusing them of running a “diabolical and brazen scam” involving startup firms focused on crowdfunding. O’Leary and Harrington are accused of working together to defraud people through the alleged use of “fictional executives, false promises of financial success, and even illusions of being on the show Shark Tank itself,” according to court documents.
★ (***Caution – language***) Rose McGowan is still blowing up on social media. She went on an explosive Twitter tirade on Wednesday, after someone told her to stop throwing stones at others and “shut tf up”. She responded by saying: “You think I throw stones? No bitch, I drop bombs.” She first stirred up controversy over the weekend when she tweeted that she believed Oprah Winfrey faked her support for the #MeToo movement.
★ The summer of George may have passed them by, but at least “Seinfeld” arrives on Netflix well ahead of Festivus, or television fans may have had a lot of grievances to air this year. All 180 episodes of the classic 1990s sitcom are launching Oct. 1 on the streaming giant. Netflix acquired the rights to “Seinfeld” in 2019 in a 5-year deal with Sony Pictures Television thought to be worth $500 million. Sony controls distribution of the former NBC series.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Thandiwe Newton, Izzy G., Belly, guest host RuPaul (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Helen Mirren, Kenya Barris, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Emily Blunt, Bob Costas (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Cecily Strong, Patton Oswalt, Jeff Bowders (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Molly Ringwald, Whitney Cummings (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Linda Lavin, guest co-host DeVon Franklin (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Richard Branson, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Favorite Moments From Season 18, featuring Megan Thee Stallion, Melissa McCarthy, Octavia Spencer, Tony Hawk
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Wanda Sykes, Mike Epps, Simu Liu, Tom Jones (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Tom Selleck, Gucci Westman (R)
• “Bitchin’: The Sound and Fury of Rick James” (SHOWTIME): A raw documentary look at his wildly colorful life; original interviews with artists, collaborators and friends.
• “8:46 Films” (CBS): A collection of 4 narrative shorts telling stories of Black love and joy, 8 minutes and 46 seconds at a time.
• “Cheer for Your Life” (LIFETIME): Humiliated during initiation week, a high school cheerleader finds herself in grave danger after another girl on the squad turns up dead.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Kristen Wiig, with musical guest Dua Lipa
• “DC’s Legends of Tomorrow” (VW): Season 6 finale
• “Guilt on Masterpiece” (PBS): Series premiere. Brothers Max and Jake run down an old man while Jake is driving them back from a wedding, stoned and uninsured.
• “Webcam Cheerleaders” (LIFETIME): After the death of her beloved sister, Maisy transfers to the college where her sister attended to be closer to her grieving mother and father.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake — has unveiled his new “Certified Lover Boy” Nike merchandise line. On Insta, he’s shown off a series of black t-shirts with lyrics on them. The Nike logo has been filled with roses. The new album dropped today.
• BTS – Twitter has declared their hit ‘Butter’ the “song of summer 2021”. Between the end of May and the middle of August, it was the most tweeted about song in the US. The rest of the top-5, in order: ‘Essence’ – Wizkid ft. Tems and the remix ft. Justin Bieber; ‘Industry Baby’ – Lil Nas X ft. Jack Harlow; ‘Stay’- The Kid LAROI ft. Justin Bieber; ‘Yonaguni’ – Bad Bunny.
• Amy Winehouse – Her dad says the production company planning a biopic about his late daughter is should be stopped, because it’s “100% not allowed.” Mitch Winehouse, who is also an administrator of her estate, says there’s no way the recently announced project with Halcyon Studios can go forward, because the estate already has its own plans for a biopic and owns all the rights.
• Spice Girls – will release a deluxe 25th anniversary edition of their debut album “Spice” on Oct. 29. “Spice25” will come as a 2-CD set inside a hardback book, and will feature bonus tracks, b-sides and previously unheard recordings including an alternative mix of their breakthrough hit ‘Wannabe’.
• Elton John – Oct. 22, he’ll release a new album made during the coronavirus lockdowns, with an array of A-list guests who contributed remotely or while maintaining social distancing. “The Lockdown Sessions” will feature contributions from Dua Lipa, Stevie Wonder, Lil Nas X, Stevie Nicks, Gorillaz, Eddie Vedder, Young Thug and Nicki Minaj, Brandi Carlile, Jimmie Allen, and more.
• The Doors – will release a 50th-anniversary deluxe reissue of their classic “L.A. Woman” album on Dec. 3. The 3-CD, 1-LP set includes 2 bonus discs containing more than 2 hours of outtakes and a stereo mix of the album on 180-gram virgin vinyl. The group is now previewing the original demo of ‘Riders on the Storm’ from the reissue. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4ynz958f
• Carrie Underwood — has partnered with Dan + Shay for ‘Only Us’ which will appear on the soundtrack of Broadway musical-turned-film “Dear Evan Hansen”, out September 24.
• Chase Rice — Both TMZ and E! News have reported they are officially a couple. She starred in “Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County” before joining a spinoff called “The Hills”. More recently, she and now ex-husband Jay Cutler starred in “Very Cavallari” for three seasons.
• Josh Turner — will release his first Christmas album “King Size Manger” on Oct. 8. It will include 7 Christmas classics and 4 originals. He’ll also embark on a 16-city “Holiday & The Hits Tour” winding up at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium on Dec. 20.
SHOOTING THE BULL
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings” (PG-13, Fantasy/Action): Shang-Chi, the master of unarmed weaponry-based Kung Fu, is forced to confront his past after being drawn into the Ten Rings organization. (Simu Liu, Awkwafina)
• “Zone 414” (R-Rated, Mystery/Sci-Fi): Set in the near future in a colony of humanoid robots. When its creator’s daughter goes missing, he hires private investigator David Carmichael, who teams up with Jane, a highly advanced and self-aware A.I., to track her down. (Travis Fimmel, Guy Pearce)
• “We Need to Do Something” (R-Rated, Horror): Melissa and her family become trapped after seeking shelter from a storm. When hours turn to days, Melissa realizes that she and her girlfriend Amy might have something to do with the horrors that threaten to tear her family – and the entire world, apart. (Lisette Alexis, John James Cronin)
• “Who You Think I Am” (PG, Comedy/Drama): Ghosted by her twentysomething lover, Claire, a middle-aged professor and single mom, creates a fake Facebook profile to do some online snooping. But when her avatar is friended by her ex’s equally attractive roommate, things quickly escalate. (Juliette Binoche, François Civil)
Laughter is the universal language — and now scientists say it’s universal across some primate species, too. The laughing patterns of human infants match those of Great Apes, according to a study published by Leiden University in the Netherlands. Human adults primarily laugh while exhaling, whereas infants and great apes laugh during both inhalation and exhalation. When laughing, human adults first inhale, then produce “ha-ha-ha” sounds in short bursts, before fading away. The ape-type laugh is more of a “huh-ha-huh-ha” sound, as it creates noises both while inhaling and exhaling. The study found that infant laughter isn’t necessarily similar to that of all species of great apes, just those that are evolutionarily closest to us — such as chimpanzees and bonobos.
(What I’d like to know is who the monkey is that approved this study…)
(Of course, the difference is that it’s easier to change a chimp’s diaper!)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ Authorities in Rio de Janeiro are investigating how a man was able to receive at least 5 doses of 3 different Covid-19 vaccines in 10 weeks. According to official records, the unnamed man started his vaccination marathon by getting his first Pfizer shot on May 12. He received a second dose of AstraZeneca on June 5, the second dose of Coronavac on June 17, a second dose of Pfizer, on July 9th, and a “first dose” of Coronavac on July 21. And those are just the shots that there are records for. It’s not clear what his “sixth” dose would have been had he not been discovered by staff at a vaccination station earlier this month while attempting to get yet another Covid shot. This comes as Brazil is dealing with a “critical” shortage of vaccines. (He’s the only guy I’ve heard of who’s “quintuple-vaxxed”!)
➢ The world’s fastest-accelerating roller coaster has been temporarily closed after a number of people sustained broken bones while riding it. Located in the Fuji-Q Highland Park, in Fujiyoshida, Japan, the Do-Dodonpa roller coaster is famous for being able to accelerate from 0 to 180km/h (112 mph) in just 1.56 seconds. Despite its speed, Do-Dodonpa had never been associated with rider injuries until December, when people started reporting broken bones. Six incidents have reported since, 4 of which involved broken back or necks. Neither the park, nor the ride’s manufacturer have been able to explain what is causing the sudden spate of injuries. (But they have invited Kid Rock to come for a ride!)
DID YOU KNOW?
Research shows your walking speed is affected by the person you are walking with. Men tend to slow their pace by an average of 7% when walking with a female they are romantically interested in. Women walking together move the slowest, and men walking with male friends walk the fastest. (And interestingly, women who I’m romantically interested in tend to walk A LOT faster when I’m around…)
BS CHRONOMETER 09.03.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942  Al Jardine, Lima OH, pop-rock guitarist/singer (Beach Boys-‘Help Me, Rhonda’)
1955  Steve Jones, London England, punk rock guitarist (Sex Pistols-‘God Save the Queen’)
1965  Charlie Sheen [Carlos Estevez], NYC, TV actor (“Anger Management” 2012-14, “Two & A Half Men” 2003-11)/movie actor (“Major League” movies, “Platoon”)/Martin Sheen’s son, Emilio Estevez’s brother
1975  Redfoo [Stefan Gordy], LA CA, pop singer-DJ-rapper (LMFAO-‘Sexy & I Know It’, ‘Party Rock Anthem’)
1979  Tomo Miličević, Sarajevo Bosnia & Herzegovina, alt-rock guitarist (30 Seconds to Mars-‘This Is War’, ‘Kings & Queens’)
1986  Shaun White, San Diego CA, snowboarder/skateboarder (3 Olympic golds, 13 X-Games gold medals, more than any other competitor)
2001  Kaia Gerber, Los Angeles CA, model /movie actress (“Sister Cities”)/daughter of supermodel Cindy Crawford
SATURDAY- Kim Thayil (Soundgarden) is 61; Damon Wayans (“Lethal Weapon” TV show) is 61; Ione Skye (“Say Anything”) is 51; Music producer Mark Ronson is 46; Wes Bentley (“Hunger Games”) is 43; Max Greenfield (“New Girl”) is 41; Beyoncé (‘Crazy in Love’) is 40; Comedian Whitney Cummings is 39
SUNDAY- Bob Newhart (“The Bob Newhart Show”) is 92; Raquel Welch (“The Three Musketeers”) is 81; Michael Keaton (“Batman”) is 70; Brad Wilk (Rage Against the Machine) is 53; Rose McGowan (“Charmed”) is 48; Carice Van Houten (“Game of Thrones”) is 45; Kat Graham (“The Vampire Diaries”) is 32
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “National Flag Day” in Australia, celebrating the anniversary of the 1901 date when the new flag, known as the Commonwealth blue ensign, was flown for the first time, over the dome of the Exhibition Building in Melbourne. It was later renamed the Australian National Flag.
• “Skyscraper Day”, to appreciate and admire the world’s tallest buildings. By definition, a skyscraper is any structure that clearly stands out above its surrounding environment. A loose agreement in North America & Europe puts the lower limit of a skyscraper at 150 meters (500 ft). A skyscraper taller than 300 meters (984 ft) is referred to as ‘supertall’.
WORLD’S TALLEST BUILDINGS:
5. Lotte World Tower (Seoul, South Korea) … 554.5m (1,819 ft)
4. Ping An Finance Centre (Shenzhen, China) …599m (1,965ft)
3. Abraj Al-Bait Clock Tower (Mecca, Saudi Arabia) … 601 m (1,971 ft)
2. Shanghai Tower (Shanghai, China) … 632 m (2,073 ft)
1. Burj Dubai (Dubai UAE) … 828 m (2,717 ft)
• “Welsh Rarebit Day”, saluting the traditional dish that, explained simply, is melted cheese on bread. But anyone who’s had it knows it’s far more exotic than that, incorporating butter, flour, cheddar, dry mustard, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, and – optionally – beer.
• “US Bowling League Day”, primarily an outdoor sport until around 1840, the game was called ninepins and was popular with gamblers. To snuff out the gambling, Connecticut banned the game in 1841. To circumvent the law, indoor lane owners added one pin to their alleys.
• “Wear Teal Day”, a day when teal is worn to raise awareness about ovarian cancer.
• “Bacon Day”, in the United States, bacon refers to meat from the belly of a pig, known as the pork belly. Bacon from the loin is called Canadian bacon.
• “Macadamia Nut Day”, saluting the yummy nut first found in the rainforests of eastern Australia thousands of years ago by aboriginals. Though they can be toxic to dogs, they are super nutritious for humans. NET: http://tinyurl.com/lm2ur99
• “Newspaper Carrier Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the first recorded ‘news boy’, 10 year-old Barney Flaherty, who began hawking the “New York Sun” in 1833 (now an endangered species?)
• “Eat an Extra Dessert Day”, guiltlessly indulge yourself in an extra dessert today and inform everyone you know about this happy holiday (…and if they won’t participate, eat theirs too!).
• “National Wildlife Day”, focusing on endangered species, preservation, and conservation efforts around the world. Zoos, aviaries, and marine sanctuaries provide a variety of ways to get involved.
• “World Beard Day”, all about promoting and elevating the global status of the beard. Today it is supposedly customary for the bearded members of a family to relax and partake in no jobs or chores. The beardless traditionally show their support by waiting on the bearded hand and foot. (Will that happen at my place? “Not by the hair of their chinny-chin-chin!”)
• “Be Late for Something Day”, sponsored by the Procrastinators’ Club, a day to delay anything you can. (So maybe celebrate this tomorrow?)
• “Cheese Pizza Day”, saluting the favorite order of cheapskates everywhere.
• “National Shrink Day”, celebrating psychologists and psychiatrists. September 5 was chosen because it is Bob Newhart’s birthday. He played a psychologist on “The Bob Newhart Show”.
• “International Day of Charity”, observed annually on September 5th and first declared by the United Nations General Assembly in 2012.
• “Pet Rock Day”, celebrating the collectible craze created by ad exec Gary Dahl, who had the idea to take smooth stones from Rosarito Beach in Mexico and market them like live pets. The fad lasted for around 6 months in 1975. More than one-million Pet Rocks, costing $4 each, made Dahl a millionaire.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1966  The TV show “Star Trek” debuts with a private showing at the “World Science Fiction Convention” in Cleveland, Ohio (attended by the first ‘geeks’)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009  A private funeral for Michael Jackson is held at the Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California, more than 2 months after his sudden death on June 25th
2017  Steely Dan co-founder and guitarist Walter Becker dies of esophageal cancer at 67
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1895  The first ‘professional football game’ is played. (Latrobe, Pennsylvania YMCA beats Jeannette Athletic Club 12-0)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1970  The ‘largest hailstone’ lands in Kansas … 17.5 inches in circumference, weighing 1.67 pounds and estimated by scientists to have struck the ground at 105 mph.
BS WHACK SCHOOL FACTS:
✓ Experts say it’s harder to tell a lie to someone you find sexually attractive.
✓ A person’s sense of hearing becomes less sharp after overeating.
✓ In 1987, Indiana state legislators tried to pass a bill that would have legally redefined the value of pi as 3.2.
✓ J.K. Rowling invented Quidditch in a pub.
✓ The clowns who portray Ronald McDonald are forbidden to reveal their true identities.
✓ Guinness estimates that 93,000 liters of beer are lost in facial hair each year in the UK alone.
Best of BS . . .
BS STUPID STUFF MEN DO:
• Add hot sauce to spicy food.
• Watch the news 8 times a day and expect something new.
• Think Axe body spray is an effective substitute for a shower.
• Tell her to calm down.
• Get married. I’ll hide now.
• Mansplain. That means a man explaining something to a woman in a condescending manner, ladies.
• Hold my beer and I’ll show you…
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2020
It’s “National Flag Day” in Australia, so we present…
BS STUPID QUESTIONS FOR AUSTRALIANS:
• What do you didgeridoo for a living?
• Why do you throw shrimp on a helpless doll?
• Is Paul Hogan related to Hulk Hogan?
• How do you throw away your old boomerangs?
• Is that Men at Work song your National Anthem?
• Vegemite is just a joke you trick us foreigners with, right?
• Is a lazy kangaroo called a ‘pouch potato’?
• Every time I attempt your accent I sound like an extra trailer park-y Britney Spears, and yours sounds so cool. Why?
• What g’day is it?
• Is this a knife?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ A report found that 10% of people routinely hug their co-workers. (Although if you disqualify pro wrestling, the porn industry, and the way Biden greets women, that number goes way down…)
➠ Rhythm guitarist and co-founder of the Beach Boys, Al Jardine is 79 today. (You can tell the boys are getting older. These days instead of ‘Help Me Rhonda,’ it’s ‘Help Me Rhonda, I Can’t Get Up.’)
➠ FACT: 200 years ago, the treadmill was used as a torture device. (Today? Yup. Hanging your dry cleaning!)
➠ (Tweet this) I listened to ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ 8 times in a row, but what do you expect from someone with OCDC?)
➠ (***Caution***) A man who inserted an eel into his rectum in hopes of ‘relieving constipation’ has been hospitalized. (I bet his Proctologist was shocked…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
‘Filing’ this idea away for later: https://tinyurl.com/4srep7k9
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Male or female, no one messes with you if you put on lipstick like The Joker.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What still exists, even though there is no longer any need for it?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 16% of cat owners and 12% of dog owners admit they have shared THIS with their pet. What is it?
Answer: A comb or brush
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.