Wednesday, September 6, 2006        Edition: #3359
Bullseye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Warning! Warning! TODAY wannabe rapper Kevin Federline performs on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (apparently the scathing reviews from the “Teen Choice Awards” failed to make an impact) . . . “Rock Star: Supernova” co-host Dave Navarro has co-created a new TV series dubbed “The Product” (FX) that will go behind-the-scenes to show what it’s really like playing in a rock band (sounds like cheesy promotion for his newly-formed group the Panic Channel) . . . A new book by Hollywood screenwriter Joe Eszterhas entitled “The Devil’s Guide to Hollywood: The Screenwriter as God” claims that actress Sharon Stone’s ‘prima donna’ behavior so annoyed the crew on one movie that they relieved themselves in an on-set bathtub before she got into it for her scene (then she was really PO-ed!) . . . Documentary footage of late Australian “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin being killed by a stingray will likely end up on TV because his family believes that would be his wish . . . Meantime, famed Aussie feminist author Germaine Greer (“The Female Eunuch”) says Irwin’s death was a case of the animal world finally taking its revenge on him for his long-time manhandling of creatures . . . Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham & her Brit soccer star hubby David Beckham are said to be expecting their 4th child (how can they possibly top Brooklyn, Romeo & Cruz as cruel baby names?) . . . Apple Corp is expected to announce a movie download service within the next 2 weeks, at about the same time that it unveils a new, wider-screen video iPod . . . MTV has forced the owner of a British pet grooming boutique called ‘Pimp My Pet’ to change the name because it owns the rights to the ‘Pimp My …’ concept, as in “Pimp My Ride” (and be forewarned that you can no longer head for “The Hills” or go to the butcher and order “Fresh Meat”) . . . And “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria has been polishing a comedy routine at LA’s Laugh Factory in preparation for an odd twist in the show’s storyline – ‘Gabrielle’s marriage apparently falls apart and she turns to stand-up as a way to lift her spirits (who was the last female hottie to do standup – Phyllis Diller?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ben Harper – TONIGHT he appears on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Dwight Yoakam – TONIGHT he guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Franz Ferdinand – Frontman Alex Kapranos says he’s looking forward to taking a planned break from the band because he hasn’t had a normal life in years.
• Kelly Clarkson – TODAY she’s headlining “Grammys on the Hill”, a day of music advocacy in Washington DC. Her planned activities include a recording session with members of Congress.
• Madonna – Lenny Kravitz joined her live on stage during her recent concert in Paris and the collaboration went so well that they’ve penciled in time later this year to record together.
• Shakira – She may shoot scenes for the upcoming Bollywood movie “Om Shanti Om” when she travels to India for a concert next MARCH. The idea came up after she worked on her Indian-themed “MTV Video Music Awards” performance with top Bollywood choreographer Farah Kahn.
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT he’s on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) talking about his new movie.
• The Wreckers – “Leave the Pieces” is the 1st debut single by a female duo to top country charts since the Davis Sisters’ “I Forgot More Than You’ll Ever Know” … in 1953!

COTTONHEADS AT LARGE:
Contrary to popular thinking, a recent study shows that elderly drivers are NOT a serious threat to other drivers and, in fact, kill fewer motorists and pedestrians than any other age group. (After all, it’s tough to seriously wound someone at 4 mph.)
– Reuters

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Gayborhood’ – A neighborhood that is significantly or predominantly gay. (Remember when you were a kid and watched “Mr Rogers’ Gayborhood”?)
• ‘Guyliner’ – Eyeliner designed for and used by men. (“There were fewer retakes when they shot ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest’ because Johnny Depp used no-run guyliner.”)
• ‘Jafaican’ – A mix of English, Jamaican, Indian and West African dialects that’s replaced traditional Cockney rhyming slang among the young in London, England. For example, ‘nang’ means something is ‘really good’, as in “Rah, das nuff nang!”.
• ‘Peoplerazzi’ – Everyday folks who take pics of celebs in awkward or shocking situations just so they can post them online. (“Don’t blow your nose here … we’re surrounded by peoplerazzi!”)

SOMMELIBOT:
A robotic sommelier that distinguishes different wines using infrared light has been developed at the NEC System Technology Research Laboratory in Japan. Infrared light is fired through samples allowing the robot to differentiate types of food and drink by determining the different wavelengths of light absorbed. The ‘wine-bot’ can also be programmed to recommend wines to suit the owner’s particular palate. Using a built-in voice, the bot makes recommendations based on what it has found. (“I am sorry master, there is no wine to go with peanut butter.”)
– “The Guardian”

YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS:
Using research from millions of interviews, Tom Rath, author of “Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without”, claims that without a best friend at work, the chances of you being totally ‘engaged’ by your job are just 1 in 12. Gallup polling reveals that people with at least 3 close friends at work are 96% more likely to be satisfied with their lives. (What if you work alone?)
– “Globe & Mail”

MOST ROMANTIC GESTURES:
A poll of over 2,000 women finds that these are the spontaneous gestures they find most romantic …
5. A Gift of Jewelry (6%)
4. Greeting Card (7%)
3. Surprise Date (10%)
2. Bouquet of Flowers (28%)
1. Hidden Note (41%)
(Coming in dead last – offering a ride to the STD clinic.)
– “Mens Health”

MAKING NOVELS COMIC:
“Wuthering Heights”, one of literature’s greatest masterpieces, is being rewritten as … a comic–book novel. The Emily Bronte classic will be slimmed down to just 50 pages and illustrated by a graphic design artist better known for his drawings in Marvel Comics. The comic’s ‘author’, Adam Strickson, says that although it’s a radical format, he has tried to remain true to the story. (He’s next planning to turn “War & Peace” into a 4-panel comic strip.)
– “GQ”

TUBBY TOTS:
Contrary to popular belief, toddlers who are overweight do not necessarily shed their ‘baby fat‘ when they get older. According to the National Institute of Child Health & Human Development, fully 60% of preschoolers who are overweight remain that way at age 12. (Take note, mom – those ‘coot widdle chubby cheeks’ are going to turn into ‘blubber butt’.)
– AP

HOW TO PLAN YOUR DAY:
According to the new book, “The Body Clock Guide to Better Health” by Michael Smolensky & Lynne Lamberg, here are some of the more notable times of day …
2-6 am – Natural childbirth is most common.
4-5 am – Toothache pain is worst.
7-9 am – Depression becomes worst.
10 am-Noon – Alertness, calm energy & sociability highest.
1-2 pm – Post-lunch dip in alertness and arousal.
3-5 pm – Mood is high.
5-7 pm – Best time to exercise.
7-11 pm – Osteoarthritis pain is worst.
(The forgot 6-10 am – On-air insanity peaks.)
– “Social Studies”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• There are now more than 30 million video surveillance cameras in the US and more are being installed every day.
• The word ‘listen’ contains the exact same letters as the word ‘silent’. Coincidence?

THE BULL SHEET 09.06.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [63] Roger Waters, Cambridge UK, classic rock singer/bassist (Pink Floyd-“Another Brick in the Wall”)

1957 [49] Joe Smyth, Portland ME, country singer (Sawyer Brown-“Mission Temple Fireworks Stand”)

1958 [48] Jeff Foxworthy, Atlanta GA, stand-up comedian (“You Might Be a Redneck”)/TV personality (“Blue Collar TV” since 2004)

1963 [43] Mark Chesnutt, Beaumont TX, country singer (“Too Cold at Home”)

1970 [36] Macy Gray (Natalie McIntyre), Canton OH, one-hit-wonder pop singer (“Try”)/sometime movie actress (“Idlewild”)

1971 [35] Dolores O’Riordan, Ballybricken, Ireland, alt-rock singer (Cranberries-“Linger”)

1976 [30] Naomie Harris, London UK, movie actress (‘Tia Dalma’ in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”)

1979 [27] Foxy Brown (Inga Marchand), Brooklyn NY, rapper (“Candy”) who’s made headlines for spitting on hotel clerks, smacking around a fan, assaulting manicure salon workers and, most recently, shoplifting belts in an upscale NYC boutique

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fight Procrastination Day – Do It! Day”, a backlash to YESTERDAY’s “Be Late For Something Day”.

• “Iguana Awareness Day”. Anyone who’s ever found one in a sleeping bag is really aware!

• “Read a Book Day”, one of the highlights of “International Literacy Week”. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphaghetti?
WORLD’S THINNEST BS BOOKS:
– “A Guide to Australian Etiquette”
– “Everything Men Know About Women”
– “Blind Dates That Worked Out”
– “One-Legged Folk Dances”
– “Proud Parents of Rock Musicians”

• “World Toilet Summit & Expo 2006” through Saturday in Moscow, Russia where the members of the World Toilet Organization (who knew?) have gathered to discuss … toilets, of course.
NET: http://www.worldtoilet.org/hp/wto_hp.htm

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1952 [54] Canada’s 1st television station, CBFT Montréal, begins broadcasting (2 days later, CBLT starts up in Toronto)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [09] Millions watch worldwide on TV as Elton John sings “Candle in the Wind” at Princess Diana’s funeral at Westminster Abbey in London UK

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1910 [96] ‘Regina (later Saskatchewan) Roughriders Football Club’ is formed

1977 [29] 1st Canadian highway signs go metric (confused Canadians begin driving 100 mph)

1927 [79] 1st ‘Harlem Globetrotters’ team formed

1959 [47] 1st ‘Barbie Doll’ sold by Mattel Toy Corporation

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1987 [19] Saskatchewan’s Dave Ridgway kicks CFL-record 60-yard field goal

1995 [11] Baltimore scalpers get $1000 a ticket to watch Cal Ripkin Jr break Lou Gehrig’s MLB ‘consecutive game record’ by playing in his 2,131st game (Camden Yards crowd cheers for 22 minutes, 15 seconds)

2000 [06] ‘Largest Gathering of World Leaders’ in history as more than 150 attend the “UN Millennium Summit” in NYC

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] NFL Opening Kickoff 2006 (Pittsburgh PA)
[Thurs] Ganesh Charturhi (Hindu)
[Thurs] Full Moon (Corn Moon)
[Thurs-Sept 16] 31st Toronto International Film Festival
[Fri] International Literacy Day
[Fri] “Hollywoodland”; “The Covenant”; and Toby Keith’s “Broken Bridges” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Waffle Week
This Month Is … Bed Check Month

BULL’S BITS

BS REAL ESTATE TERMS EXPLAINED:
Looking to move? Save search time by using this handy dictionary to translate the truth about over-hyped homes in realty ads …
• “Cute” – Incredibly tiny.
• “Delightful Rural Location” – In the flight path of a bomber base.
• “A Wealth of Period Features” – Includes dry rot and damp basement.
• “Rare Opportunity to Buy” – No one else wants it.
• “For the Gardening Enthusiast” – Welcome to the jungle.
• “Unusual Location” – In the path of a projected freeway.
• “Character House” or “Fixer Upper” – Soon to be condemned.
• “Select Neighborhood” – Beside a sewage treatment plant.
• “Unusual Features” – No roof.

BS ‘ANIMAL TALK’ GAME:
Everybody knows that dogs ‘bark’ and cats ‘meow’, but what about giraffes or peacocks or rhinos? Here’s a list of dozens of critters and what the sounds they make are called …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/lkre9

BS PHONE STARTER:
What kind of music goes best with beer drinking?

BS ‘10 SECOND DASH FOR CASH’:
Contestants compete to list the most things to fit a category you stipulate. Start with one contestant, give out the category, then start the clock. Total the score, then give your other contestant a new category and see if they can beat the total. A few suggested topics …
• Breakfast Foods
• Things You Use in the Shower
• School Supplies
• Excuses For Being Late to Work
• Famous Redheads

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
Marketing gurus will tell you that any new product should have at least 3 easily recognizable advantages over its competition. So what’s your show got going for it?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: It’s estimated that 1 in 10 kids regularly exhibit THIS odd behavior.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sleepwalking. (Mostly on the way to school.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The more you say, the less people remember.