Wednesday, September 22, 2004        Edition: #2871
100% Canada #1 Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
LAST NIGHT’S 2-hour “Amazing Race” finalé had the teams racing through Sunshine Village ski resort in Banff AB and visiting the ski jump at Canada Olympic Park in Calgary . . . TONIGHT the new season of ABC-TV’s “The Bachelor” premieres, this time with 25 bachelorettes choosing from 2 eligible bachelors (cat fight!) . . . A poll in “Nuts” magazine asks who’d be in the ‘Ultimate Nightmare Girl Band’ and the ‘winners’ are – Madonna, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, and former Spice Girls Victoria Beckham & Geri Halliwell (aghhh, turn it down!) . . . HBO has given the greenlight to a comedy pilot called “The Comeback” about a sitcom actress trying to revive her career, ironically starring former “Friends” actress Lisa Kudrow (who’s also co-producing & writing it) . . . Pamela Anderson’s new bald boyfriend is a circus performer known as ‘Jesus’ from Cirque Du Soleil’s new show “Zumanity” (word is he’s a contortionist – well, he is now anyway) . . . Actor Johnny Depp has finally sold off his share in LA nightclub ‘The Viper Room’, where his acting pal River Phoenix died back in 1993 . . . “Playboy” magazine’s Website is looking for McDonald’s employees to pose for its upcoming ‘Women of McDonald’s’ online pictorial (you must have nice buns) . . . Hey, does anyone have Rodney Dangerfield in the dead pool?

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ashlee Simpson – TONIGHT she’s on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin claims the stress of recording the band’s new album is making him go bald. Fortunately, he says, they’re one receded inch of hair away from finishing.
• Rod Stewart – His 33-year-old model girlfriend Penny Lancaster is joining the London cast of “Tonight’s the Night”, the West End musical based on his music. Her recent guest appearance was such a hit she’s been written in as a regular, performing with a troupe of dancers on Rod’s hit “Hot Legs”.
• Britney Spears – She & new hubby Kevin Federline reportedly spent a whopping 48 hours in the sack at LA’s Hotel Bel-Air after getting hitched.
• Billy Joel – Word is the 54-year-old aging popster will marry his 26-year-old girlfriend Katie Lee NEXT MONTH.
• Madonna – Her Kabbalah pilgrimage to Israel cost a reported $200,000.
• Marc Anthony – Wife Jennifer Lopez refused to serenade him at his surprise birthday party, claiming she hadn’t been given enough time to prepare, so he ended up singing to himself.

NEW ENGLISH 101:
• ‘P Diddys’ – The new nickname for ‘per diems’, the per day expense allowances offered as incentives in the entertainment industry to celebs who are already well paid. (“The Diddys on this job are downright stingy.”)
• ‘Slutwear’ – The low-riding jeans and navel-baring tops that are quickly going out-of-fashion. In fact, almost all the duds in fashion shows exhibiting designs for next spring feature a more demure covered-up look.
• ‘Sleep Eaters’ – People who get up and eat in the middle of the night when they are neither hungry nor fully awake. Most prefer carbs and sugars. In fact, doctors say they’ve never heard of a sleep eater making a beeline for salad in the middle of the night. Surprisingly, sleep eaters are no more likely to be obese than anyone else.
• ‘Alphanumerics’ – The increasingly complicated series of numbers and letters used to name luxury car models, ie: the Lexus LS 430, the Cadillac SRX SUV, and the BMW 325Xi.

AD FAB:
THIS WEEK is “Advertising Week” in NYC and a related online poll has picked the all-time top advertising slogans and the all-time top ad characters, who’ll have their names immortalized in concrete on Madison Avenue’s new ‘Advertising Walk of Fame’. Some highlights …
TOP SLOGANS:
1. Melts in your mouth, not in your hands. (M&M’s)
2. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. (Almond Joy/Mounds)
3. Where’s the beef? (Wendy’s)
4. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. (United Negro College Fund)
5. Can you hear me now? (Verizon)
TOP CHARACTERS:
1. M & M Characters
2. AFLAC Duck
3. Mr Peanut
4. Pillsbury Doughboy
5. Tony the Tiger
NET: http://promotions.yahoo.com/advertisingweek_2004

OUT OF THE CHUTE:
TODAY People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals launches it’s new anti-rodeo crusade called “Buck the Rodeo” with a steamy poster of former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Bonnie-Jill Laflin rolling in the hay – topless – under the cheeky slogan, ‘Nobody Likes an 8-Second Ride’.
– “Daily News”

A REAL MAN’S VEHICLE:
There’s a new vehicle on the market that makes the Hummer look like a girlie-man car. Navistar International has introduced the 5-passenger ‘CXT’, the world’s biggest production pickup, a 14,500-lb behemoth capable of towing 20 tons. It’s 9-ft-tall, 8-ft-wide, 21.5-ft-long and gets about 7 mpg on diesel fuel (the reason for the 70-gallon fuel tank). The CXT dwarfs full-size SUVs and weighs about twice as much as a Ford F-350 Super Duty pickup. The price is also big – $93,000, but options can boost that to $115,000. The company says the monster truck is for businesses that want to make a bold statement. (And middle-aged guys nicknamed ‘Stubby’.)
– MSN Money/CNBC Business News

MULTI-PLAYER CELLPHONES:
The newest twist in cellphones is ‘multi-player gaming’, not just a posting of high scores on a leader board, but actual head-to-head competition. The new game “Momentum”, for instance, allows players to challenge up to 5 other people from just about anywhere to collect coins scattered throughout a maze. Electronic Arts, the world’s largest video game maker, is expanding its lineup of cell phone games for consumers in North and South America and Europe, including new games for Nokia and Sony Corp. The market for cell phone games remains a niche in the overall video game business, though experts believe it will grow to $1 billion within a few years. (Why do we have games on phones? Why not on toasters?)
– MyWay.com

GROUPS ADD GIRTH:
A new study carried out by researchers from Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center has revealed that women living in households with 4 or more people are significantly more likely to be obese than those who live by themselves. The research also reveals that married women are more likely to be obese than single females. (Because they’ve given up hope.)
– “Daily Mail”

PROS & CONS:
A new golf course in Angola, Louisiana was built and is being maintained by – prisoners. The fairways were graded and seeded by hand; the sand pits dug by convicts using shovels; the tees are marked with handcuffs. The first tee overlooks the maximum-security Louisiana State Penitentiary, giving the course its name – ‘Prison View’. Prisoners cannot play, but a few inmates have earned the privilege of tending the greens. The prison warden says the 2-year course construction gave inmates a sense of accomplishment and taught them useful skills. (Sand raking?)
– “NY Times”

HOW DO I SOUND THIS MORNING?
A new study by a research team at the University at Albany, State University of New York, shows that people with attractive voices are likely to be more sexually adventurous than others. By having people rate the attractiveness of a series of recorded voices, researchers found that the most appealing voices belonged to people who had sex at an earlier age, had more partners and were more prone to infidelity. (Ohhh, you mean radio people!)
– ANI

FOR THE RECORD:
27-year-old Malaysian Nur Malena Hassan has broken a world record by enduring 32 days enclosed in a glass box with 6,069 scorpions. She suffered 7 stings in the process.

AND WE QUOTE:
“If I hear one more word about the ’80s, I’ll have to kill someone. To me, it was just a time of bad haircuts and bad clothing.”
– Tears For Fears’ Curt Smith telling “Daily Dish” the band doesn’t want to be a nostalgia act.

THE BULL SHEET 09.22.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [46] Andrea Bocelli, Lajatico ITA, operatic singer (“The Prayer”) whose “Romanza” album sold 10 million-plus

1960 [44] Joan Jett (Larkin), Philadelphia PA, classic rock singer (“I Love Rock & Roll”, “I Hate Myself For Loving You”)

1964 [40] Bonnie Hunt, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Cheaper by the Dozen”, “Jerry Maguire”)/TV actress (“Life with Bonnie” 2002-04)

1987 [17] Tom Felton, London UK, movie actor (‘Draco Malfoy’ in the “Harry Potter” films)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Clunk! TODAY “Autumn” officially falls at 12:30 pm EDT. “Spring” begins in the Southern Hemisphere.

TODAY is “National Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more. According to StatsCan, there has been a 21% increase in the number of centenarians in Canada over the past decade. The majority are women. (In related news, this station is changing to a new format – Ragtime.)
The number of centenarians in America has doubled over the past decade to about 50,000. That makes centenarians the most rapidly growing age group within the fastest-growing segment of the US population – those 85 and over. (In related news, this station is changing to a new format – Ragtime.)

TODAY is also …
• “Hobbit Day”, commemorating author JRR Tolkein and the birthdays of his “Lord of the Rings” characters ‘Frodo’ and ‘Bilbo Baggins’.
• “Proposal Day”, a day on which single people are encouraged to propose marriage. (Apparently someone’s attempt to share the pain.)
• “Dear Diary Day”, a day to ‘put it on paper because it’ll make you feel better’. (Same goes for your new puppy.)
• “Elephant Appreciation Day”, to celebrate the world’s most interesting and noble endangered land animal.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1994 [10] The sitcom “Friends” debuts on NBC-TV, beginning a frenzy for the ‘Rachel’ hairstyle

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1999 [05] Shania Twain wins ‘Entertainer of the Year’ at the “CMA Awards”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1954 [50] 1st ‘pina colada’ is concocted (rum, coconut cream & unsweetened pineapple juice) by Ramon ‘Monchito’ Marrero, a bartender at the Caribe Hilton Hotel in San Juan who wanted to capture all of the flavors of Puerto Rico in a single drink

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1990 [14] World’s fastest talker utters 595 words in 56.01 seconds or 637.4 wpm

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Native American Day
[Sat] One Hit Wonder Day
[Sat] National Comic Book Day
[Sat] Hunting & Fishing Day
[Sun] Food Service Employees Day
[Mon] Ancestor Appreciation Day
[Mon] World Tourism Day
[Tues] Ask A Stupid Question Day
This Week Is . . . Deaf Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Backpack Safety Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
WHAT’S ON SPORTS CHANNELS INSTEAD OF HOCKEY:
Wow, with no NHL there’s a lot of time to fill on TSN and Sportsnet! Thanks goodness they’ve found some alternative sports …
• Pantless Ski Jumping
• Lobster Wrestling
• Javelin Catching
• Racketeering
• Really Drunk Luging
• Playing Hopscotch on Highway 2
• Dachshund Roping
• Four-Man Zamboni
• World Cup of High School Hookey

BS REJECTED INTERNATIONAL SPORTS TEAM NAMES:
• Brussels Sprouts
• Cannes Openers
• Vienna Sausages
• Belgium Waffles
• Prague Tologists
• Manila Folders
• Syria Killers
• Czech Bouncers
• Taipei Personalities
• Peking Toms

BS WEB GOODIE:
Here’s a new variation on the ‘Am I Hot or Not’ theme where Web surfers rate average folks who submit their own pictures. The ‘How Many Would It Take’ Website asks how many drinks someone would have to chug to make a particular person seem attractive.
NET: http://howmanywouldittake.com

BS TRIVIA:
Q: This breakfast staple was first introduced in 1947.
A: Concentrated frozen orange juice.
– “Trivia World”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you are 25-54, you are involved in THIS activity more than any other age group.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Driving.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.