Tuesday, September 14, 2004        Edition: #2865
Sheet Rocks!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY through Thursday, Sotheby’s is auctioning property from the estate of Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash, including musical instruments, notebooks, handwritten lyrics, art & furniture (http://search.sothebys.com) . . . TODAY Kitty Kelley’s tell-all book “The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty” hits bookstores, which promises to reveal ‘the matriarchs, the mistresses, the marriages, the divorces, the jealousies, the hypocrisies, the golden children, and the black sheep’ of the USA’s first family . . . 50-year-old billionaire Oprah Winfrey already owns her own plane and now she’s taking flying lessons so she’ll be able to fly it herself, encouraged by fly-boy  friend John Travolta . . . Also up in the air – actress Angelina Jolie (“Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow” premiering TONIGHT in Hollywood and opening FRIDAY) is learning to fly and has already bought her own airplane . . . Has the novelty worn off? “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” is suffering a massive 2nd season ratings drop – going down as much as 40% . . . 18-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen has split with 21-year-old boyfriend David Katzenberg (son of media mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg) who supported her throughout her 6-week treatment for an eating disorder (there’s the thanks you get, Davo!) . . . The latest rumored Hollywood couple is – Kirsten Dunst (“Spider-Man”) and Josh Hartnett (“Wicker Park”) who’ve been spotted doing some romantic wrestling moves while clubbing . . . And because you really need to know, Paris Hilton’s least favorite body feature is her feet – her size 11 feet! (the good news is, she never has to rent skis).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Nelly – TODAY he makes rap history by releasing 2 new albums, “Sweat” and “Suit”, on the same day. He says “Sweat” is ‘up-tempo’ while “Suit” is ‘grown and sexy’.
• Green Day – TODAY they release “ American Idiot”, their first studio album in 4 years.
• Jennifer Lopez – Friends say she can’t wait to be a mom and is eager to have children with hubby Marc Anthony. (Well why not, everybody else seems to be.)
• Tina Turner – She supposedly ‘retired’ 4 years ago, but she’s set to release the new single “Open Arms” NEXT MONTH and the 2-disc compilation album “All The Best” NOVEMBER 1st.
• Madonna – She threw a 36th birthday party for husband Guy Ritchie that was extremely modest by show biz standards, renting a private room in a London pub where some 20 friends joined them to chug Guinness and sing-along with a 2-piece Irish band.
• Britney Spears – Word has it a wedding planner has asked all her wedding guests for their mother’s maiden name, then assigned each a code number. On the eve of the wedding, each guest will get a call and be asked for the name & secret code. If they answer correctly, they’ll be directed to a parking lot where security will check their details again, then load them on buses to the wedding. It’s now rumored to be scheduled between now and late October. Meantime, she’s reportedly throwing a 72-hour bachelorette party for 8 close friends at her Malibu mansion THIS WEEKEND at the same time as fiancé Kevin Federline has a stag party in Las Vegas.
• Justin Timberlake – His former *NSYNC bandmates were said to be shocked that he showed up for Joey Fatone’s wedding LAST THURSDAY. There’s been friction with Justin because he won’t do an *NSYNC reunion album and has not been very supportive of their solo careers.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Man on Fire” (Thriller – DVD): Denzel Washington plays a burned-out ex-CIA operative hired as the bodyguard for an industrialist’s 9-year-old daughter in Mexico City. Co-stars child actress Dakota Fanning, Christopher Walken, and singer Marc Anthony.
• “Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed” (Comedy – DVD/VHS): Freddie Prinze Jr & real-life wife  Sarah Michelle Gellar return for this ‘Scooby’ sequel in which an anonymous masked villain wreaks mayhem on ‘Coolsville’ with a monster machine. Alicia Silverstone & Peter Boyle co-star.
• “Home on the Range” (Family – DVD/VHS): Animated adventure that follows the exploits of 3 cows, a karate-kicking stallion and a colorful corral of critters as they try to save their ‘Patch of Heaven’ dairy farm. Voices by Randy Quaid, Jennifer Tilly, Judi Dench, Rosanne Barr & Cuba Gooding Jr. Songs by Tim McGraw, kd lang, and Bonnie Raitt.

RELIGIOUS FERVOR:
Thanks to the recent DVD release of “The Passion Of The Christ” (AUGUST 31st), rentals of other religious movies are way up. For instance, rentals of the classic “Ben-Hur” are up 160%, Franco Zeffirelli’s “Jesus Of Nazareth” is up 100%, and requests for 1965’s “The Greatest Story Ever Told” have increased by a third.
– New ‘Rentrak’ stats.

SKITTERS BITE THE ‘O’ TYPE:
If you wonder why mosquitoes find you irresistible, the answer may be in your blood. New research suggests that mosquitoes prefer to bite those with type ‘O’ blood, and people who are at least a little bit on the porky side. After numerous experiments, researcher Dr Yoshikazu Shirai has found that men are slightly more likely to be bitten than women, but it is blood type and body heat that really get them interested. Leaner types are more likely to be spared the aggravation.
– “The Age”

WWW MAY COLLAPSE:
Intel and other computer industry companies are warning that the Internet will eventually become so overloaded it will break down. At Intel’s recent technical conference, CTO Patrick Gelsinger suggested the collapse will begin as millions of new computer users from developing nations sign on. In order to circumvent the Web’s architectural limitations, Intel is advocating that a new network be built overtop the current Internet, that would monitor and direct traffic and better fight security threats or traffic surges. (And of course, access to it will likely require a special chip … only available from Intel.)
– “Forbes” magazine.

TOP DOGS FOR FAMILIES:
According to pet experts, these are the best breeds to have as family dogs …
1. Golden Retriever – An excellent choice for families that enjoy lots of outdoor activities.
2. Welsh Corgi – This stocky short-tailed breed loves romping with kids.
3. West Highland White Terrier – A good watch dog and faithful friend.
4. Irish Setter – Has a natural aptitude as a companion and is always eager to please.
5. Schnauzer – Thrives on human companionship and comes in 3 different sizes.
The experts warn, however, that while the list serves as a good guideline, individual dogs have their own personality no matter what their breed.
– PetPlace.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
35 million cardboard beer cases are in circulation in Canada at any given time. (Many  serving as coffee tables in student apartments.)

43% of all stolen cars are left running, or have the keys in the ignition, or are left unlocked.

THE BULL SHEET 09.14.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [57] Sam Neill, Omagh N IRE, movie actor (“Jurassic Park 1 & 3″, “The Piano”)  UP NEXT: The romantic comedy “Wimbledon” (starring Kirsten Dunst    & Paul Bettany), which premiered LAST NIGHT in Beverly Hills and opens wide this FRIDAY.

1964 [40] Faith Ford, Alexandria LA, TV sitcom actress (‘Hope Shanowski’ on “Faith & Hope” since 2003)

1971 [33] Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Rye NY, TV sitcom actress (‘Dana’ on “According to Jim” since 2001)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Anthem Day”, celebrating the anniversary of Francis Scott Key penning the lyrics to the “Star-Spangled Banner” in 1814. Key, a Washington attorney, was aboard a warship during the War of 1812 when he wrote the famous words, which officially became the US national anthem by an act of Congress in 1931.

TODAY is “Pregnant Women’s Day”, set aside to honor all moms-to-be. What’s the most unusual pregnancy craving you’ve ever heard of?

TODAY is “National Cream-Filled Donut Day” … a holiday for cops?

TODAY is “International Cross-Cultural Day”, a good excuse to pepper your show with greetings in different languages. The Website for the ‘Say Hello Project’ will help you out …
NET: http://www.ipl.org/div/kidspace/hello

TONIGHT the “World Cup of Hockey” final is played at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre as Team Canada takes on Finland. Even if Canada wins, will it be as satisfying as a final against the US?
NET: http://www.wch2004.com

THURSDAY-Monday is the annual “Testicle Festival” in Clinton, Montana, when they’ll be serving up more than 2 tons of what locals call ‘Rocky Mountain Oysters’ (it’s enough to give Da Bull shivers!). The festival’s slogan is ‘Have a Ball!’ Ask for delicious recipes.
PHONER: 406.825.4868 (Rock Creek Lodge)
NET: http://www.testyfesty.com

SATURDAY’s “Egremont Crab Fair” in West Cumbria, England (held annually since 1266) is the home of the “World Gurning Championships”. For the uninitiated, ‘gurning’ is the art of making scary or goofy distorted faces. As well as pulling the most grotesque face possible, contestants are encouraged to generate even more excitement by thrashing around the stage making wild animal noises.
PHONER: 011.44.1946.821554 (Alan Clements, Egremont Crab Fair & Sports)
NET: http://www.whitehaven.org.uk/gurn.html

10 YEARS AGO …
1994 Already shut down by a month-long strike, the remainder of the Major League Baseball season is canceled, along with the World Series

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1981 [23] TV’s syndicated “Entertainment Tonight” show biz magazine debuts

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [19] The Cars and Michael Jackson are the big winners at the 1st “MTV Video Music Awards”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1964 [40] Quickie breakfast alternative the ‘Pop Tart’ is introduced

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987 [17] ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper Edition’ as Sunday “NY Times” has 1,612 pages and weighs in at 12 lbs (paper carriers use forklifts for delivery)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Hat Day
[Wed] National Care Givers Day
[Wed] World Music Awards (Las Vegas)
[Thurs] Working Parents Day
[Thurs] Women’s Friendship Day
[Thurs] Rosh Hashanah begins at sundown (Jewish)
[Sun] 56th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards
[Sun] 24th Terry Fox Run (http://www.terryfoxrun.org)
This Week Is . . . Child Injury Prevention Week
This Month Is . . . Mushroom Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
WHAT A GUY’S UNDERWEAR SAYS ABOUT HIM:
• Briefs – Tighty whities are symbols of youth and wearing them as adults may indicate a guy is unwilling to grow up.
• Boxers – The most conservative style of underwear on the market. A ‘boxer guy’ is usually a proponent of tradition and enjoys being a ‘real man’.
• Boxer Briefs – These have become the underwear of choice, offering the comfort and loose feel of boxers while providing support with their brief-like design. Men who wear them are usually athletic, enjoy working out and pay extra attention to their appearance.
• Bikini – Preferred by men who dress to impress. These guys don’t want to leave anything to the imagination. They want everyone to know exactly what’s lurking below.
• Commando – The underwear-less man is generally a free-spirited guy who is rebellious, carefree and self-confident.
– AskMen.com

BS ‘FIND THE FAKE’:
You run down the list rapid-fire while a studio guest or phone contestant tries to decide whether each is an actual current article from a women’s magazine or a complete fake …
• “How to Have Bathtub Booty”
• “What His Eyes Say About His Size” [BS]
• “Four Frisky Fix-its That’ll Beef Up Your Big O”
• “Find Your Signature Scent”
• “22 Desserts That Will Make Him Turn to Jelly” [BS]
• “Does Beauty Rule Your Life?”
• “5 Times Is Never Enough” [BS]
• “Is Your Guy Hooking Up At Work?”
• “Turn Last Night’s Dinner into a Fresh, Exciting Surprise!”
• “Are You Ready For a Trio?” [BS]
• “How to Touch a Naked Man”
• “50 Ways to Live to 100″
– “Ladies’ Home Journal”, “Cosmopolitan”, “Chatelaine”, “Redbook”, “Woman’s Day”.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your favorite food item that’s served on a stick?

BS TRIVIA:
Q: What Canadian city’s name is derived from the Mohawk word for ‘trees standing in the water’.
A: Toronto.
– “All Canadian Trivia”

Q: Which US city is largest in area – New York City, Los Angeles or Juneau, Alaska?
A: Hard to believe, but it’s Juneau at 3,108 square miles, almost 8 times the size of LA.

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Don’t worry about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Guam.
• [She’s] not just another pretty face. In fact, not even close!
• Make love, not war. Heck, do both … get married.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS is the most common nightmare experienced by adults.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Being chased.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.