September 17 2020

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Thursday, September 17, 2020 — Edition: #6810

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

★ Chris Evans made a slick recovery from his NSFW photo scandal. Breaking his silence after accidentally posting explicit photos on Instagram over the weekend, the he used the moment to encourage people to carry out their civic duty on Nov. 3 — by voting. He tweeted the words: “Now that I have your attention” alongside two emojis — one of a man facepalming and another of a man shrugging, followed by the message — “VOTE Nov 3rd!!!”
★ You know that part of every “Jeopardy!” episode, right after the first commercial break, when Alex Trebek mingles with the contestants? Don’t expect to see that in the era of COVID-19. Ken Jennings, a former contestant who has been named a consulting producer for the show’s 37th season, said on Good Morning America that Trebek will “stay at the…podium…instead of coming over to the contestants because Alex’s health is priority No. 1 on that set.” Jennings also said that Trebek “was not happy about the slightly longer-than-usual Jeopardy! hiatus. He’s excited to be back.”
★ As “Tiger King” star Carole Baskin made her debut performance on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” Monday, the family of her late husband, Don Lewis, was airing a commercial asking for answers about his mysterious disappearance. To no one’s surprise, Baskin’s first number was ‘Eye of the Tiger’. But all the dancing in the world won’t ease the minds of Lewis’ family — they’re asking the public to come forward with any information they might have. Baskin has repeatedly denied any involvement in Lewis’ disappearance.
★ The professor of profanity, Samuel L. Jackson, is offering lessons on how to talk a blue streak if enough people register to vote. The actor famous for his blue language promised in a video tweet Monday: “I will teach you how to swear in 15 different languages” if at least 2,500 of his 8.5 million Twitter followers go online at his Headcount site to register to vote in the US election — or to check their registrations to make sure they’re good to go.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Rainn Wilson, guest host Brad Paisley (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Seth MacFarlane, Evan Rachel Wood, Penn & Teller
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sarah Paulson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Stacey Abrams, David Byrne, Sonny Emory
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Neil Patrick Harris, Ziggy Marley featuring Ben Harper
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jane Fonda
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Janelle Monáe, Gabourey Sidibe
• “The Talk” (CBS): Vivica A. Fox (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Bethenny Frankel, Pat LaFrieda
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Emily Blunt, Duo Transcend, Hunter Woodhall (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Too Much Good Stuff, including Alison Brie, Ben Affleck, Amy Poehler, Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick, Tom Hanks, Jason Aldean, Sean Astin, Josh Gad
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Charlize Theron, Tyra Banks, Luvvie Ajayi Jones
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Maria Menounos vs. Jeannie Mai and NFL Legends vs. NFL All-Stars
• “Big Brother” (CBS): A houseguest is evicted and interviewed by host Julie Chen Moonves; remaining houseguests compete to become the next head of household
• “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” (E!): Season 19 premiere

• Lady Gaga — is in talks to play ‘Emma Frost’ aka ‘The White Queen’ in an upcoming Marvel X-Men blockbuster. Frost was previously played by January Jones in 2011’s “X-Men: First Class”.
• Justin Bieber – has announced that Chance the Rapper will appear on his upcoming single ‘Holy’, out tomorrow, and that his world tour has been rescheduled for next summer.
• Cardi B — has filed for divorce from her husband Offset. The ‘WAP’ rapper, whose real name is Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, filed a divorce petition in Fulton County, Georgia, requesting an end to her marriage to the Migos rapper, whose real name is Kiari Kendrell Cephus. They were secretly wed in Sept. 2017 and have a 2-year-old daughter, Kulture.
• The Tragically Hip — are headed to the big screen. They’ve announced a special double-feature of their celebrated films “Long Time Running” and “A National Celebration”, will screen at select Cineplex Theatres across Canada beginning tomorrow. The band is also selling reusable face masks with the word “Courage” emblazoned on them to benefit musicians and their crew members.
• Guns N’ Roses – According to former US press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ book “Speaking for Myself: Faith, Freedom and the Fight of Our Lives Inside the Trump White House”, President Trump calls their video for ‘November Rain’ the “greatest music video of all time” and forced staffers to watch it in the Oval Office. (Which is weird, because his opponent Kanye West knows Beyoncé made “one of the best videos of all time. OF ALL TIME!!”)
• Black Crowes – Rich Robinson will be participating in “Six String Salute” tonight, as some of rock’s biggest guitarists perform in a virtual concert to support touring and venue crew in the wake of the pandemic. Also appearing: Steve Vai, Tommy Shaw of Styx, Joe Satriani, former Genesis guitarist Steve Hackett, and members of Whitesnake, Tesla, Kansas, Alice Cooper and Night Ranger. It will stream on Live Nation’s YouTube channel.
• Kane Brown – is taking his talents to the drive-in on Sept. 26. A one-night-only concert, filmed exclusively for drive-in theaters across North America, is the next installment of “Encore Drive-In Nights”, which has also featured Blake Shelton and Metallica. Granger Smith will perform a full opening set, and Jimmie Allen, Lauren Alaina and Granger will join Brown as special guests during the show.
• Gabby Barrett – ‘I Hope’ is #1 on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart for the eighth week. After topping the Billboard Country Airplay chart in April, the song reached the top of the Hot Country Songs chart in its 64th week, the longest trek to #1in the chart’s 76-year history.
• Dolly Parton – has released her version of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’. It will appear on “A Holly Dolly Christmas”, dropping October 2. Guests on the album include Miley Cyrus, Jimmy Fallon, Billy Ray Cyrus, Michael Bublé, Willie Nelson, and her brother Randy Parton.

Who wants to be a billionaire? Not this guy. Chuck Feeney, the cofounder of retail giant Duty Free Shoppers, wanted to die broke, and now he officially is. Broke, not dead. The 89-year-old has finally given all his money away to charity –and he couldn’t be happier. Over the last four decades, Feeney has donated more than $8 billion to charities, universities and foundations while living a life of monk-like frugality. His generosity influenced Bill Gates and Warren Buffett when they launched the “Giving Pledge” to convince the world’s wealthiest to give away at least half their fortunes before their deaths. His “Atlantic Philanthropies” was set up years ago as part of his plan to make high-impact donations and set a hard deadline to give away all his money. That organization was officially shuttered on Sept. 14 – mission accomplished. Where did the money go? Here’s a sample:
• $3.7 billion to education, including nearly $1 billion to his alma mater, Cornell
• More than $870 million to human rights and social change
• More than $700 million to health, including $270 million to improve healthcare in Vietnam and $176 million for the Global Brain Health Institute at the University of California
Why the generosity? He says: “I see little reason to delay giving when so much good can be achieved…Besides, it’s a lot more fun to give while you live than give while you’re dead.”

➢ Recent research indicates that following a healthy diet may help prevent hearing loss. In a review of 22 studies, researchers in Spain found evidence linking fruits and vegetables, omega-3 fatty acids, and antioxidant nutrients, such as vitamins A, C, and E to a lower risk of developing age-related hearing loss. Other research shows that people who ate fish two to four times a week were 20% less likely to experience hearing problems. (That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my wife…but does she listen?)
➢ A study has found that eating nuts twice a week could add years to your life. The research, presented at the European Society of Cardiology Congress after a study of over 4,800 adults, showed that consuming a single serving of nuts at least twice a week can reduce one’s risk of dying from heart disease-related conditions by as much as 17%. In addition to being an ideal low-calorie alternative to traditional saturated snacks, nuts are packed with nutrients and unsaturated fatty acids. (And loaded with salt when I eat ‘em…)
-ConsumerReports, Ladders

⇒ You don’t know sticky until you try to use your kid’s tablet — @FatherWithTwins
⇒ I just gave the kids extra credit for helping carry my wine from the car to the house. Shutup, I’m the teacher now and it’s fine. Everything’s fine. — @divergentmama
⇒ My teenager’s biggest fear is me sneezing in front of someone she knows. — @SIMONCHOLLAND
⇒ My kids are my everything. I mean this literally–they’ve methodically broken all of my personal belongings over the past four and a half years. — @HenpeckedHal
⇒ I told my kid to put his toys in the toy box and he told me the entire house is a toy box. He’s not wrong. — @thedadvocate01
⇒ I don’t wear white after labour day or on any other day of the year because I have small kids — @VisionBored1
⇒ Sorry I can’t make it, I asked my toddler if he wanted help putting on his shoes he answered “yes I don’t” — @snarkymomtobe
⇒ I put on my husband’s deodorant and now I’m angry at the way I load the dishwasher. — @Imegordon
⇒ If you have to tell your wife “it was a joke,” it’s already too late. Godspeed. — @mommajessiec

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will still take place in 2020, but the annual holiday tradition will be “reinvented” in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic. Instead of a live parade on the streets of New York City, the 2020 Thanksgiving Day Parade on Nov. 26 will be pre-taped to be watched on TV and online. Five specially-designed vehicles will parade the event’s signature balloons through the Herald Square area for a two-day taping. Performers, the list of which has yet to be announced, will be socially distanced from each other and must wear masks or other appropriate face coverings. Only about 25 percent of the usual number of participants will be on hand during filming.


1951 [69] Cassandra Peterson (“Elvira, Mistress of the Dark”), NYC, movie actress (“Elvira, Mistress of the Dark”, “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure”)/TV host/author/comic book and video game star

1962 [58] (Mark) Baz Luhrmann, Sydney Australia, movie director-producer-screenwriter (“The Great Gatsby”, “Moulin Rouge”)/music producer (‘Everybody’s Free [To Wear Sunscreen]’)

1965 [55] Bryan Singer, NYC, movie director-producer-screenwriter (“Superman Returns”, “X-Men” movies)

1965 [55] Kyle Chandler, Buffalo NY, TV actor (“Friday Night Lights” 2006-11, “Bloodline” 2015-17) COMING UP…“Godzilla vs. Kong” 2021

1971 [49] Nate Burkus, Orange County CA, TV show host (“The Nate Burkus Show” 2010-12)

1979 [41] Chuck Comeau, Montréal QC, punk-pop drummer (Simple Plan-‘Addicted’, ‘Welcome to My Life’)

1985 [35] Alexander Ovechkin, Moscow Russia, NHL left winger (Washington Capitals captain with 706 career goals, 8th all-time, first among active players)/Stanley Cup 2018

1985 [35] Jon Walker, Chicago IL, pop-rock bassist/guitarist (ex-Panic! at the Disco-‘Time to Dance’, ‘I Write Sins Not Tragedies’)

• “International Country Music Day”, established in the 1950s to promote country music and to unite its fans all over the world.

• “Apple Dumpling Day”, celebrating the tasty Fall treat that consists of pastry filled with sweet, delicious apples. (Don’t forget the ice cream!)

• “American Citizenship Day” (aka “US Constitution Day” and “I Am an American Day”), focusing on the rights & responsibilities of American citizens. It commemorates this date in 1787 when the US Constitution was signed in Philadelphia PA, the oldest working constitution in the world.

• “Monte Cristo Day”, It’s typically a savory sandwich made with bread dipped in egg batter and either pan fried or deep fried. Variations may include sliced turkey and different types of cheese. It can be served grilled or open-faced and heated under a grill or broiler.

• “Time’s Up Day”, a day to let you know that if you’ve been waiting to make up with someone close to you, you’ve officially run out of time and it’s time to make amends. Life’s too short to be on bad terms with those who should be close to you. (Not to be confused with #TimesUp, or with “Make Up Day”, which was on Sept. 10…)

• “World Patient Safety Day”, a day to raise awareness about the importance of addressing health worker safety as a prerequisite to patient safety.

[Fri] First Love Day
[Fri] Cheeseburger Day
[Sat] International Talk Like a Pirate Day
[Sat] Butterscotch Pudding Day

1957 [63] Two male attorneys “stand in” as actress Sophia Loren & producer Carlo Ponti wed by proxy in Juarez, Mexico (Wow! A ‘virtual’ wedding…in the 50s!)

1972 [48] “M*A*S*H” premieres on CBS-TV (lasts 11 seasons; the finale sets a record as the all-time highest-rated TV series episode)

1982 [38] Pink Floyd’s double album “The Wall” makes it to the big screen as a feature-length musical. The band’s celluloid collaboration with director Alan Parker and animator Gerald Scarfe becomes a surprise box office hit and a cult classic

1999 [21] Eminem’s mother, Debbie Mathers-Briggs, files a lawsuit against him, claiming that his allegations that she was an unfit mother have ruined her life, as she can no longer get a job or credit. In his song ‘My Name Is’, Eminem raps: “I just found out my mom does more dope than I do.” The case is eventually settled for $25,000

1920 [100] The NFL is organized in Canton OH as 12 teams pay a fee of $100 each to obtain franchises (current value of Dallas Cowboys franchise: $5.7 billion)


✓ Bumblebees can fly higher than Mount Everest.
✓ A Boeing 767 airliner is made of 3,100,000 separate parts.
✓ When opossums are “playing ‘possum,” they are not playing. They actually pass out from sheer terror.
✓ At least two-thirds of wisdom teeth extractions are unnecessary.
✓ Grapes will catch on fire if left in an operating microwave oven.
✓ Spaghetto, confetto, and graffito are the singular forms of spaghetti, confetti, and graffiti.
-Owlcation, BestLife

Best of BS . . .

• They can’t read minds.
• Sometimes they ARE thinking about nothing.
• How they ever find anything when there isn’t a woman at home to tell them where it is.
• That they believe women when they say “I’m fine”.
• They are afraid of that spider, too.
• They cannot detect any difference between ‘Violet’, ‘Fuchsia’ and ‘Magenta’.
• They are terrified of the words, “We need to talk”.
• How they are able to sleep anywhere.
• Secretly, they know that women are always right.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

• “You look good…for your age.”
• “THAT’s what you’re wearing?”
• “Are those real?”
• “Calm Down.”
• “That is one ugly baby!”
• Anything that follows the phrase “I’m not racist but..”
• The word “walk” within 50 feet of a dog…unless you’re serious.
• “Yes, those jeans DO make your butt look fat.”
• “When are you due?”
• “What’s wrong with Nickelback?”
• Pretty much anything, really, because someone will be offended.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

➠ Brach’s has introduced a new “turkey dinner flavored” Candy Corn. (So, good news for people who want to gorge on candy while holding back the urge to fall asleep…)
➠ Season 10 of “American Horror Story” will begin production in October for a 2021 release.  (This season’s theme? American Horror Story: The Election Results.”
➠ The new iPhone 12 is being labelled as the “Biggest Upgrade in Electronics History.” (So suck on that Tesla, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, and that geeky dude who invented the Commodore 64!)
➠ A naked man in England was seen jogging down the road but wasn’t arrested. (He said he didn’t drive because he didn’t have anywhere to put his license…)
➠ A sex-shop owner in Florida called police when a woman used a sex-toy in the lobby of his adult superstore. (Making the arrest was hard, getting off was easy.)

Walking on water – briefly:


What “normal” thing scares the pants off of you?


Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.


Question:  Those who have one of THESE only use it about 8 times per month. What is it?
Answer:  A landline phone


Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Welcome to these new members of the herd: Val Harris @ CKPR Thunder Bay ON; Logan Coutts @ The Eagle 100.9 Okotoks AB; Glen Slingerland @ 89.5 The Drive Chilliwack BC; Alton Tipps @ WCDT Winchester TN; Graham Caddell @ WKSK The Farm West Jefferson NC; Keith Landau @ The Podcast Guys, Huntington Beach CA; Jay Allen @ Safety FM Orlando FL

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