Thursday, September 12, 2002 Edition: #2376
This Sheet’s Off The Hook!
BS CELEBRITY BUZZ:
TODAY actress Winona Ryder is due in LA court – again – and a trial date may finally be set for her shoplifting case (prosecutors have filed a motion to allow evidence of ‘prior acts’ to be admitted) . . . Whitney Houston is due in court OCTOBER 9 for violating New Jersey’s water-use restrictions by leaving her lawn sprinklers on – when nobody was even home! (not the first time her grass has got her into trouble) . . . Santana will release “Shaman”, the long-awaited follow-up to 1999’s 11-million selling “Supernatural”, on OCTOBER 22 and it will feature 3 songs written by matchbox twenty’s Rob Thomas sung by 3 different singers, plus collaborations with Latin rock band Ozomatli and opera tenor Placido Domingo . . . When is big just TOO big? Atlanta Hawk Theo Ratliff’s 4-year-old daughter Yasmin got lost FOR AN HOUR in his new 15,000-sq-ft mansion, but a search party of 3 finally found her taking a nap in one of the many guest rooms . . . And stupormodel Naomi Campbell has launched a new company which will ‘lifestyle brand’ your life by putting ‘important people, magnificent things and exotic places together’ (such as her, your money and her bank).
MOVIES IN THE WORKS:
Actor Jason Ritter (son of John Ritter and a co-star in “Swimfan”) will replace Brad Renfro in the upcoming battle of the horror film titans “Freddy vs Jason” . . . Reese Witherspoon will pull down a whopping $15 million to star in a sequel to her 2001 comedy hit ”Legally Blonde” to be called “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde”, scheduled to start filming in NOVEMBER . . . Country phenom LeAnn Rimes will star in the movie “The Girl Who Struck Out Babe Ruth”, the true story of Jackie Mitchell who struck out baseball legends Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig back-to-back in 1931 but was banished from the big leagues for being a woman . . . Oscar-winner Geoffrey Rush (“Shine”) is among the actors short-listed to play British funny man Peter Sellers in a new biopic . . . Word is Nicole Kidman is hot to trot on a script called “Pay the Girl”, a drama that chronicles the rise and fall of a Hollywood hooker (so to speak) . . . And greedy “American Idol” creator Simon Fuller is now in talks about making a feature film version of the show starring winner Kelly Clarkson and runner-up Justin Guarini, mixing their real-life adventures with scripted hijinks (talk about ‘milking it’ – give it a break, man!).
INGREDIENTS TO A GOOD MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO WOMEN:
5. Compassion.
4. Commitment.
3. Ability to compromise.
2. Communication.
1. Respect.
INGREDIENTS TO A GOOD MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO MEN:
5. Commitment.
4. Compatibility.
3. Respect.
2. Good sex.
1. Intimacy.
Source: “Love & Sex” magazine
CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE POLL:
A survey by University of Illinois researchers finds that men and women differ on what they consider ‘comfort foods’. Women prefer chocolate and cookies, while men pick soup, pizza and pasta. (We took an impromptu poll here in the studio and the favorite comfort food was – beer.)
SLEEPING SCENT:
Having trouble catching Zs? British researchers have discovered that the scent of lavender works as well as sedatives when it comes to helping insomniacs get to sleep. (If that fails to work, roll over to the edge of the bed and you’ll drop off in no time.)
MONEY WON’T BUY HAPPINESS:
A study of lottery winners published in “Woman’s Own” magazine finds that 70% became lonely after giving up work and changing their lifestyle. (So take a lesson from celebs, use a few million to go buy some friends.)
COLD PIZZA IS GOOD FOR YOU:
A leading scientist says eating cold leftovers is more effective at preventing cancer than high-fiber cereals. The accepted thinking has been that a fibrous diet can reduce the chances of getting bowel cancer. But John Burn, Professor of Clinical Genetics at Britain’s University of Newcastle, claims leftover foods like cold potatoes, baked beans, rice and porridge contain high levels of indigestible crystalline starch, which also help to ward off the disease. (Wow, I’m gonna live forever!)
STRIKE A POSE:
Here are the most common body poses that show interest from a member of the opposite sex, according to behavioral expert David Lewis –
SIGNS A WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO YOU:
• She opens her lips and licks them.
• She flicks her hair back with her hand or a toss of her head.
• She gazes at you for longer than a few seconds.
• She massages her head or neck with one hand.
• She crosses and uncrosses her legs.
• She points her knee toward you if she’s sitting with one leg tucked under the other.
• She makes small agitated movements with her fingers and hands.
SIGNS A MAN IS INTERESTED IN YOU:
• He massages his outer thigh while you’re with him.
• He makes preening gestures, such as adjusting his clothing or smoothing his hair.
• He narrows his eyes while you’re speaking to him.
• He hooks his thumbs into his belt in a cowpoke pose that’s meant to look more manly.
• He strokes his jaw line as he looks at you.
• He tries to make eye contact with you in a relaxed friendly manner.
• He plays with a cylindrical object such as a glass or a pen while he’s speaking with you.
BS SHOCKING FACT:
A Stanford University study finds that an astounding 85% of women often view themselves as ‘fat’ or ‘unattractive’.
THE BULL SHEET 09.12.2K2
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [71] George Jones, Saratoga TX, country legend (“He Stopped Lovin’ Her Today”)
1944 [58] Barry White, Galveston TX, oldies singer (“Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe”, “You’re the First, the Last, My Everything”)
1952 [50] Neil Peart, Hamilton ON, classic rock drummer (Rush-“Vapor Trails”)
1972 [30] Liam Gallagher, Manchester ENG, rock singer (Oasis-“Stop Crying Your Heart Out“, “Champagne Supernova”)
1973 [29] Paul Walker, Glendale CA, movie actor (“The Fast & the Furious”, “She’s All That”) UP NEXT: “The Fast & the Furious 2″, coming JUNE 2003
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “International Video Games Day”, a day for kids who love ’em to celebrate and thank the parents who pay for ‘em.
TODAY is “Respect for the Aged Day” in Japan, where the number of people living past the age of 100 is increasing dramatically. The current number of Japanese centenarians has climbed to 17,934 from just 153 in 1969.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1910 [92] 1st ‘policewoman’ (Alice Stebbins Wells-Los Angeles Police Department)
1999 [03] Cleveland’s emotional return to the NFL following 4-year absence is trashed by Pittsburgh Steelers, who embarrass expansion Browns 43-0
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1954 [48] Largest-ever American League baseball crowd (86,563 at Municipal Stadium in Cleveland watch Indians beat NY Yankees in both ends of a doubleheader)
1983 [09] Albert Rizzo of Malta sets ‘world treading water record’ at 108 hours, 9 minutes in
the ocean or 4.5 days! (that’s nada, I’ve been treading water in my career for years)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] Defy Superstition Day
[Fri] Positive Thinking Day
[Sat] Pregnant Women’s Day
[Sun] 2001 Terry Fox Run (http://www.terryfoxrun.org)
[Sun] Yom Kippur begins at sundown
This Week is – National Rehabilitation Week
This Month is – Gum Care Month / Better Breakfast Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
MURPHY’S LAWS OF DRIVING:
• Trucks that overturn on the highway are always filled with something sticky.
• When you move to the next lane because it’s going faster, it becomes the slowest lane.
• The guy with a bumper sticker that says “If you can read this, you’re too close” always tailgates.
• No matter where you park your car, the sun will be radiating on the driver’s seat when you return.
• When you can fit in anywhere else, there will always room to merge behind a diesel bus.
• Your car horn will only get stuck when you drive behind a group of Hell’s Angels.
• If you try to change lanes to get off the ramp, the car in the lane to your right will speed up.
• The first bug to land on your windshield will splatter right in front of your eyes.
• When you leave the proper distance between you and the car ahead, someone will try to move into it.
• Your car will never malfunction in the presence of a mechanic.
BS QUICK-PICK QUIZ:
Q: Which is smartest –
a) A cat?
b) A dog?
c) A stick?
A: According to a Harvard study, cats really are smarter than dogs. The research used the standard human IQ scale and found that cats rate an average IQ of 7.2 while dogs rate 5.3.
Q: The world’s largest is located in Heidleberg, Germany. Is it –
a) A beer stein?
b) A wine cask?
c) A fraulein?
A: A wine cask.
Q: Who invented scissors –
a) Leonardo Da Vinci?
b) Vincent van Gogh?
c) Francesco Supipa, the famed ‘Barber of Seville’?
A: Like many other useful inventions, this one’s from Leonardo Da Vinci.
Q: This has been proven to be a safe way to lower blood pressure –
a) Vigorous sex?
b) Watching fish?
c) Bleeding?
A: A few minutes spent watching fish in a tank can lower your blood pressure by 10%.
Q: June is the traditional month for weddings in North America, but what about Australia?
a) November?
b) February?
c) The 9th month of pregnancy?
A: November is the traditional month for weddings in Australia, because the seasons are reversed Down Under.
4 WORDS THAT MEAN TROUBLE:
Here’s a few primers, then ask listeners to call in more –
• “Here comes the boss!”
• “Who’s your insurance agent?”
• “I never get lost.”
• “My parents are home!”
• “This doesn’t taste right.”
• “Don’t worry about Spike.”
• “The test was positive.”
• “Let me handle this.”
BS PHONE STARTER:
“Now that it’s possible, should you be able to choose the gender of your children?” (Belgian fertility doctor Frank Comhaire is under fire for charging couples 6,300 euros [about $6,000] to choose the sex of their child.)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 69% of guys say they’d rather do this with a girl in private rather than in public.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Break up with her.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s true – money talks! Mine keeps saying goodbye.
